Smoked

by Slade, Heather

  8

  Siren

  “Is that Smoke?” I asked Ms. Wynona when she walked into the sunroom.

  She looked out the window. “It is. That’s Mr. Zeke, riding with him.”

  “Zeke?”

  “He manages the Blazing T.”

  “Does Smoke have many horses?”

  Ms. Wynona sat down in the chair beside the one I’d moved to from the daybed.

  “At last count, I believe he had twenty.”

  My eyes opened wide.

  “The Blazing T is an equestrian rescue.”

  I looked back out the window in time to see Smoke and Zeke ride over the crest and out of view.

  “He takes in horses other people don’t want?”

  “Simply put, yes.”

  “I sense there’s a story there.”

  She smiled. “I’ll tell you if you agree to eat something.” She picked up a plate of fruit, cheese, and bread and set it on the table in front of me.

  Using my right hand, I picked up a strawberry and brought it to my mouth. “Mmm, this tastes really good.”

  “We grow them here at the ranch.”

  “Will wonders never cease,” I murmured, picking up a second. “What about the story?”

  “Some owners are reluctant to give up their horses.”

  “What does Smoke do, take them away?”

  “Sometimes. If he or Mr. Zeke hear of abuse or neglect.”

  While I couldn’t remember much of anything about Smoke or my own life, it didn’t surprise me to hear he’d step in if he thought an animal was in danger. Maybe he did that with people too.

  “Mr. Smoke is a good man.”

  “Yes,” I mumbled. “I agree.”

  “It’s that time,” said Maureen, approaching with a syringe. After the headache I’d had last night and how long it took to go away, I no longer argued with her about giving me pain medicine.

  “You have to stay in front of the pain,” she’d explained when it got so bad that she’d gone to the kitchen to fetch an ice pack she then held against my forehead.

  “I think I’d like to go lie down in the bedroom for a bit.”

  “Of course.” She helped me wheel the IV pole into the room, reattached and turned on the monitors, and asked if I wanted her to stay.

  “I have this,” I told her, holding up the pager she’d given me.

  “Shall I close these?” she asked, motioning to the blinds.

  “Please.” I shut my eyes, waiting for her to leave. When I heard the door latch, I opened them and looked up at the ceiling.

  I couldn’t explain it, but a bad feeling had settled over me when I saw Smoke riding away on the horse. Instead of the intense feelings of love I’d experienced since the first moment I looked into his eyes at the hospital, I felt irritated, even angry with him. He’d done nothing to warrant it.

  * * *

  It took a while, but I finally fell asleep. I don’t know how long it was before another nightmare jarred me awake. Instead of being about getting shot, in this one, Smoke and I were in a terrible row. I opened my eyes, and the man himself was sitting in a chair beside the bed, studying me. I sat up and pulled the bedclothes up to my neck.

  “Another nightmare?” he asked.

  I nodded, still unable to marry the man in front of me with the person in my dream.

  “You’re trembling,” he said, reaching out to put his hand on my leg. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  “Was it the same one you had last night?”

  “No.”

  Smoke stood, walked around the bed, and lay down beside me. “Come here,” he said, gently pulling me into his arms. He stroked my cheek with his finger. “It might help you feel better if you talk about it.”

  “It was about you,” I whispered.

  “It upset you.”

  “We were in a terrible row.”

  His grasp on me tightened, but he didn’t say anything.

  “Smoke? Did we argue a lot?”

  He let out a deep breath. “Sometimes.”

  “I hated it. I never want to feel that way again.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “Promise me it won’t be like that between us.”

  Smoke shifted and put his finger on my chin. “Look at me, Siren.”

  I stared into his dark brown eyes.

  “You and I…we have a lot of passion between us. Can you feel it?”

  “I can.”

  “As intense as it can be when it’s good, it’s equally so when it’s bad.”

  “What did we fight about?”

  He smiled. “Everything.”

  “Give me an example.”

  He was quiet for several moments. “We both like to be the boss.”

  I laughed. “I can see that. What else?”

  “We’re both very stubborn.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not stubborn.”

  He laughed, and so did I.

  “If we do have a row, I want us to make up right away.” I rested my cheek against his heart. “I hate the idea of being at odds with you.”

  Smoke kissed the top of my head. “I feel the same.”

  9

  Smoke

  It was only Dr. Mansfield’s warning about Siren’s emotional state that kept me from confessing everything to her. My throat and chest hurt as I swallowed my deceit deeper with every word I spoke.

  Most, if not all, of what I’d said to her was true, but underlying everything was an enormous lie.

  As I rode out on the ranch earlier with Zeke, my first instinct had been to put the word out that I was ready for another mission. They’d always come easily to me. Once anyone heard I was available, my phone immediately began ringing.

  This time, though, I couldn’t run to a place where danger eclipsed the voices in my head that I didn’t want to hear. I couldn’t escape the things I didn’t want to face, by burying myself in the world’s problems rather than my own. I had to stick around, be here for Siren, help her heal, and have her back, just like Hammer said I should.

  Thinking about Hammer reminded me that I had no idea what he had set up for Siren this week. Mansfield had said he’d see us on Tuesday, but I felt as though she should see someone before that, at least to make sure her incision was healing properly.

  * * *

  When Siren began to softly snore, I thought about easing out from under her, but having her in my arms felt too good. Who knew how long I’d be able to do this without her going back to wanting to claw my eyes out?

  I smiled, thinking of the glimpses I’d seen of her old self when she woke up in the hospital outside of London.

  If there was something Siren could call me out on, she’d never hesitated to do so. Like when she’d told me she hated it when I answered her question with a question.

  Before she was shot in the von Habsburg op, I’d done it on purpose every chance I got, and, man, did it make her mad. I stopped myself from laughing, thinking about the look she’d get on her face, in fear I’d wake her.

  * * *

  I closed my eyes and rested my head against the pillow as I ran my fingers up and down her arm and thought about last night. Desire coursed through my veins from remembering how her hot, wet pussy had clenched my fingers. And the taste of her, God, it was like the sweetest honey. I adjusted my jeans where my cock was straining against the denim fabric.

  Siren shifted and put her right arm around my waist. When she slowly moved her hand down to my zipper, I realized the minx was awake.

  She squeezed my bulge, and I grabbed her wrist.

  “Be careful, little girl,” I warned when she tried to twist free of my grasp.

  “I know why we fight.” She pouted and I released her.

  “You seem to forget that you just underwent major surgery.”

  “You can touch me, but I can’t do the same to you? What a load of bullocks.”

  “When you meet with the doctor, we’ll ask. How
’s that?”

  “You want to ask the doctor when we can have sex? Minus craic,” she muttered, rolling so her back was to me.

  “Oh yeah?” I wrapped myself around her and pressed my steel-hard cock against her ass.

  “You’ve made your choice, Smoke. You’ll not be getting any from me until you’re on your knees, begging for it.”

  * * *

  When I was certain Siren had once again fallen to sleep, I eased out of bed and went into the kitchen.

  “I’m puttin’ the finishing touches on dinner, if you’re hungry,” said Ms. Wynona.

  “Is that country ham and biscuits?” I put my arm around her shoulders when she nodded. “Why don’t I spend more time at home?”

  “Maybe now you’ll have more of a reason to.”

  I took a step back. “Siren will only be here until she’s recovered.”

  Ms. Wynona pointed to one of the chairs at the kitchen table, and I sat down.

  She put a plate of ham and biscuits in front of me. “Your mama raised you with manners, so you eat your dinner with your mouth closed while I tell you what I think.”

  I smiled and nodded, all too willing to keep my mouth full of her cooking.

  “Your soul has been waiting a long time. It was ready when Ms. Gallagher came into your life. Her soul was ready too.”

  I looked up at her. “It isn’t like that.”

  “I have eyes. I can see what you refuse to. The heart knows when the search is over. Listen to your heart, Mr. Smoke.”

  “I’m too old for her.”

  Ms. Wynona smiled and nodded.

  I moved my empty plate, leaned forward, and rested my arms on the table. “You want to know the truth? She remembers something that never existed. When her memory comes back, she’s going to hate me just as much as she did before. Probably more.”

  “Did you expect your soulmate would come into your life peacefully?” She laughed and shook her head. “No, child. Ms. Gallagher will make you question everything. She’ll make you look at your life with new eyes. She’ll make you question yourself, your beliefs. That which you’ve always been certain of, will no longer be.”

  “You have that part of it right,” I mumbled.

  “Oh, but the joy that comes along with it! Not everyone finds it, you know.”

  I didn’t believe I had. Or maybe it was that I didn’t believe Siren had. I was certain there was someone else far better suited to her than I could ever be.

  I never expected to find someone to spend my life with in the way Ms. Wynona was suggesting. More, I wasn’t looking for it, because I hadn’t ever wanted it.

  I pushed back from the table, grabbed my plate, and put it in the dishwasher. “Thanks for dinner,” I muttered, stalking outside.

  * * *

  “I was comin’ to look for you,” said Zeke, meeting me halfway between the house and barn.

  “What for?” I snarled.

  “Ashford sent over a proposal.”

  “Yeah? Since when do you need my help making a decision about something for the ranch? I pay you not to bother me with that kind of crap.”

  Zeke turned and walked away without saying another word. He didn’t look mad, either. That’s what I liked about the guy. No bullshit. No nonsense. No flowery fucking words about soulmate shit.

  I went to the opposite side of the barn, grabbed a set of keys for one of the ATVs, and took off.

  I rode for a solid hour, surveying areas of the Blazing T that I thought might be vulnerable to poachers. There were literally hundreds of access points, none of which were easy terrain to navigate. They had to be coming in and carrying the calves out almost by hand, which also meant they had to be sedating them.

  I turned off the ATV and placed a call to Decker.

  “Hey, Smoke,” he answered. “You get my proposal?”

  “I haven’t had a chance to review it with Zeke yet. You wanna give me the rundown?”

  “It’s essentially the same thing we use here at King-Alexander, with a combination of stopgaps and surveillance.”

  “Got anything that will electrocute them to death?”

  Decker laughed. “Not that I’ll admit over a cell network.”

  “As if they aren’t secure.” I knew they were. Any call made by an Invincibles team member, whether they were a partner like Deck was or a contractor like me, were more secure than what was used by the highest level of the US government.

  “Anyway. Look it over, and let me know what questions you have.”

  “Implementation lead time?”

  “About three weeks, only because I can’t get there before that.”

  “Copy that.”

  “Oh, and, Smoke?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Rile said to tell you that you owe him an answer.”

  “I’m solely freelance, Deck. Don’t know how many times I have to tell him that.”

  “He told me to dangle a hefty discount for your security system as incentive.”

  “What’s he got on you, anyway? You were as adamant as I am about staying independent.”

  “The Invincibles team saved Mila’s life. Or helped me do it, anyway.”

  Mila was Decker’s wife, and I’d heard about the op during which she was held hostage by a man who had assaulted her as a teenager. “They would’ve anyway.”

  “You’re right. But it was the first time it was personal for me, Smoke. There’s a different level of gratitude that comes along with it.”

  I couldn’t say I understood, since it had never been for me.

  “Like I said, look over the proposal and let me know.”

  “I don’t need to, Deck. Just schedule it, and let me know what you need from me.”

  “You got it.”

  I sent Zeke a text, letting him know I gave Deck the go-ahead, started up the ATV, and kept driving.

  There was a lot of shit rolling around in my head that I needed to get a handle on. While I understood the reasoning behind Dr. Mansfield’s request that I not come clean with Siren, warning alerts reverberated in my chest. There was no question that her reaction after finding out the truth about us would be explosive.

  I was about to head up one of the trails that would lead to the main house when something caught my eye. Tire tracks. Those fuckers had found a way in, and now that I knew where it was, they’d not make use of it again. I didn’t kid myself into thinking that blocking this access would deter them for good, only long enough that we could get Deck’s system in place and operational.

  I sent Zeke the coordinates of where I was and asked him to bring a crew down here with him. There wasn’t much daylight left, and I was determined to get this entry blocked before nightfall.

  10

  Siren

  It was after ten o’clock, and Smoke still hadn’t come back to the house. I was sure of it since I was sitting in the dark, waiting for him.

  I wished I could understand the dreams I had about him. In almost every one, he was angry at me. Not just that; I was angry at him too. I couldn’t imagine having the heated arguments I saw in my dreams with the man who had been so gentle, so caring, with me since I woke up in the hospital with no memory save for my connection to him.

  Given my dreams, I wondered if I was only able to recall part of our relationship. How else could I explain the vivid intensity that flowed from my subconscious? It couldn’t be my imagination; I’d never seen the enraged expression on Smoke’s face that replayed in my mind. I’d live happily for the rest of my life without seeing him so angry outside of my nightmares.

  According to Maureen, in two days, Smoke would take me to Asheville, where I would meet with the stroke specialist, the physical and occupational therapy teams, as well as Dr. Mansfield. The idea of it exhausted me. I was about to get up and go into the bedroom when I heard the front door open.

  “Smoke?” I called out when he didn’t turn any lights on.

  “What are you doing, sitting here in the dark?” Was I imagining it
, or did his voice sound like it did in my dreams?

  “Waiting for you.”

  “Siren, it’s late. You should be in bed.”

  “Where were you?”

  He walked closer and turned on a small table lamp. “Working.”

  He looked annoyed and sounded impatient. The muscles in his forearms were taut, and he was filthy.

  “What were you doing?”

  “It’s late,” he repeated.

  I cocked my head. “That would be the answer if I’d asked the time of day, and a vague one at that.”

  “I’m not in the mood, Siren.” He turned away from me. “Go to bed,” he said over his shoulder. When I didn’t move, he stalked down the hallway, leaving me sitting alone as I had been for the last few hours.

  I got up and switched off the light, picked up the blanket I’d had on my lap, and wheeled my IV pole over to the daybed.

  “Everything okay?” I heard Maureen ask from the hallway Smoke had just gone down.

  “Fine. I have the pager if I need you.”

  She walked over to me. “I might as well check your blood pressure since we’re both awake.”

  “Leave it for now,” I snapped.

  “Very well.” She left in the direction from which she came.

  * * *

  I’d been lying on the bed, looking out at the night sky for some time, when I heard footfalls. They were too heavy to be the nurse returning.

  “Why are you still out here?” Smoke asked, his tone of voice much softer than it had been earlier. He’d also changed his clothes and looked like he’d showered.

  “I don’t like sleeping in your bed.”

  He pulled a chair over and sat beside me. “What’s going on, Siren?”

  “I have nightmares.”

  “I’d think you’d have them wherever you slept.”

  “When I’m in your bed, they’re about you.”

  He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Of us, fighting?”