Beyond Me

Home > Other > Beyond Me > Page 5
Beyond Me Page 5

by Annie Donwerth-Chikamatsu


  we bend their heads bowing

  downward

  but

  keep their wings pointing

  skyward

  to string them

  to send them to the people of the Northeast

  to let them know we are thinking of them

  we are wishing them well and

  we are carrying on for them

  but send to which area?

  the destruction is massive

  who will accept them?

  a tsunami survivor shelter?

  a radiation evacuee shelter?

  accepting the cranes and

  finding a place for them

  may be a burden

  we are all overwhelmed

  all over Japan

  * * *

  Mother suggests sending them

  to Students Rebuild in America

  they will donate money

  for each crane

  to help all the people in the Northeast

  Yuka and I look at each other

  we agree it’s a good idea

  we take the cranes off the string and

  open their wings to release them

  Thank you, Students Rebuild!

  it is nice to think of others

  faraway

  helping

  we will send them the first week of April to make the deadline

  * * *

  no afternoon chime calls children home

  we have lost track of time

  Yuka’s mother calls her home

  with plans to meet tomorrow

  Yuka takes home half of the

  30 CRANES

  WE MADE

  * * *

  I fold press release

  through the news

  concern about radiation is growing

  18:41

  even stronger

  18:49

  I fold press release

  after dinner and

  through

  18:53

  shock

  19:31

  after

  19:43

  shock

  20:06

  22:27

  Father makes it back, and

  sleepwalks through to bed

  he is going to the office

  working

  doing his part

  like others in Japan

  to keep “the money going around”

  to carry on

  to keep Japan strong

  22:31

  the house pushes up then

  sideways

  we all meet under the table

  TV tells us it was south

  strong and shallow

  under Mount Fuji

  !!!!!

  that’s down here

  closer to west Tokyo

  than the one on March 11

  experts have expected Mount Fuji to erupt someday

  with “The Big One”

  maybe someday

  soon?

  Earth responds with

  22:35

  a nudge from up north

  22:37

  a stronger one

  22:40

  weaker

  22:40

  stronger

  22:43

  weaker

  in the stillness

  alone in my room

  I unpack the glow-in-the-dark emergency ladder

  open the window

  loop its end around the window box rail

  push it over the edge and

  watch it unravel

  the end of the rope and metal rungs

  hit the ground with a thud and a clunk

  this was the drill

  Mother and Father showed me

  when I was five

  it seemed like a long way down

  before I get under the covers

  I line all the cranes I’ve made

  along my windowsill

  counting them one by one by one

  35 CRANES

  it’s a long way to one thousand

  DAY 6

  02:40

  04:53

  05:30

  06:04

  the telephone rings early

  no sixth-grade graduation tomorrow—

  it is delayed until further notice

  I watch Father leave at his usual time

  the bright ladder catches his eye

  he looks up at me in the window

  you’re prepared, I hear him say

  we wave

  before he slowly starts on his way to the station

  his bag weighs him down

  08:58

  * * *

  9:22

  WOW!

  Mother grabs her laptop

  I grab my mug

  we scramble under the table

  Mother checks the location of the quake

  on the Japan Meteorological Agency website

  to see how close it was

  then

  she goes to the quake map and

  clicks to watch from March 11

  circles flash by time order

  widen by magnitude, and

  brighten by depth

  why relive it?

  The emperor of Japan gives a rare appearance

  on TV

  in a prerecorded speech

  he expresses sadness for the people of the Northeast

  he says we will keep thinking of those affected

  and will work to rebuild

  he worries about the radiation

  and asks us to

  be united and

  take care of one another

  on TV

  experts report radiation levels are above normal

  but safe

  in a video

  experts explain radiation to children saying

  the nuclear energy plant is Nuclear Boy,

  a baby with a stomachache

  the worst-case scenario is a soiled diaper

  no one knows how to dispose of it

  now the baby is only farting

  and the people closest to him are affected

  online

  people down here are saying

  we should stay indoors

  close windows

  make the house airtight

  hang laundry inside

  avoid breathing bad air

  what air will we breathe?

  grit sits on every windowsill in this house

  we cannot keep the fields out

  how can we stop radiation?

  * * *

  foreigners are leaving Japan

  they are returning to their home countries

  they feel it is unsafe here and

  it is time to go

  Mother is losing her clients

  her work

  her income

  from my window

  I see

  Grandmother watching the daffodils

  waving at me then

  heading for the vegetable stand

  the wind is blowing

  I watch the daffodils dance

  we learned in school

  that

  these golden flowers protect themselves

  rooted

  they turn their heads

  away from the wind

  rooted

  they twist

  so they do not break

  rooted

  they dance

  in the wind

  we are fortunate

  down here

  the direction of the wind has shifted from the Northeast

  * * *

  the doorbell rings

  a deliveryman

  arrives with a package special express

  of

  slender whistles on strings

  from Father

  with a note

  “please wear”

  he must be losing confidence in the house

  Mother and I go out into shifted winds

  to give one each to Grandmother
and Great-grandfather

  Great-grandfather puts it to his lips

  blows

  TTT—WWWEEEE—TTTT

  asks if it’s a dog whistle

  it’s not only for rescue dogs, we tell him

  can we count on him?

  no matter what

  we will save each other

  or

  neighbors will come to dig us out

  of the rubble

  neighbors who built homes

  on land Great-great grandfather bought

  and sold plot by plot

  for money

  to send Grandfather and Father

  to university

  this land holds

  artifacts

  underneath

  the city restricts digging to a certain depth

  in this area

  archeologists came in

  before the land was broken

  for the one-stop shop

  at its grand opening,

  some very old pots were displayed

  what happened to all the people?

  why did they leave those pots?

  12:52

  12:53

  12:55

  * * *

  Yuka cannot come over

  to fold cranes

  Dear People of the Northeast!

  Everyone is worried about radiation.

  Some people won’t go outside down here.

  How scared you must be up there closer to the leak!

  from Maya

  13:14

  13:17

  I sit across from Mother

  and

  each time I fold

  press

  release

  I think of the girl

  we all learn about in elementary school

  the girl

  folding cranes

  after

  becoming sick from radiation

  from the atomic bomb in Hiroshima

  in World War II

  with each fold

  I am wishing for everyone’s health

  I ask to use Mother’s laptop

  I search

  “clean up radiation”

  a photo

  catches my eye

  a sunflower

  I read

  “experiments show

  sunflowers can drink

  low levels of radiation from soil”

  can a flower clean up Earth?

  we need to plant some

  lots

  and

  I know

  where

  I can get sunflower seeds

  Yuka’s grandmother plants them

  collects their seeds

  replants them

  every year

  I’ve seen Yuka’s photos of her garden and

  her never-ending cycle

  of

  sunflowers!

  I join Great-grandfather and Grandmother

  at the vegetable stand

  for their tea break

  I tell them about sunflowers and

  ask if I can plant some to collect the seeds

  to send to the Northeast

  I say,

  I really wish I had a field of sunflowers

  even though

  I know

  they plan to plant more vegetables

  for a Japanese relief group

  Great-grandfather suggests planting a corner

  of sunflowers

  he hears well enough for important things

  he hands me the hoe and

  heads out to the fields

  I follow behind

  he shows me where to start

  how to strike and

  how deep to go

  the ground is not that hard

  it’s been tilled

  turned and

  loosened

  through the seasons

  I strike

  turn

  loosen

  move forward and

  strike

  along the edge of

  the corner

  I prepare

  for sunflowers

  one row

  ready to sow

  energizes me

  I keep going

  18:15

  in the evening

  I am so tired I cannot move

  20:20

  even when Earth shudders

  and

  21:02

  shakes

  so close (east of Tokyo in the sea)

  so shallow

  and

  22:39

  so strong

  25 CRANES

  DAY 7

  02:19

  07:05

  a letter arrives from Principal

  an apology

  for the delay of the sixth graders’ graduation

  “it cannot be helped”

  (the gym is under inspection and repair)

  she looks forward to meeting many of us under the cherry blossoms

  to wish the sixth graders well

  at an informal ceremony with their parents

  on April 5

  and then

  on April 6

  for the first day of school

  she also gives encouragement for the days ahead

  * * *

  I find a text from Yuka

  saying she and her mother are on their way

  south to her grandparents’

  until school starts

  I am crushed

  I have always counted on Yuka

  to be here

  it’s brave to leave home

  they could get stuck somewhere

  along the way

  in “The Big One”

  I text her

  asking about cranes

  and

  asking for sunflowers seeds

  telling her to be careful

  I wait for a response

  but my text is “unread”

  out in the fields

  I strike

  turn

  loosen soil

  in the corner for sunflowers

  it’s a cold day

  hoeing doesn’t warm me up

  I go inside for lunch

  the text I sent Yuka is still “unread”

  13:10

  the house shakes me

  I return to the table to fold cranes

  sunshine floods the dining room

  but I cannot get warm

  in the house

  Dear People of the Northeast!

  My best friend left. The weather is like winter. I am under blankets in my own home and still feel cold. I want to tell you not to lose heart, but it is worse for you. I think you must know better comforting words than I do.

  from Maya

  the kerosene truck hasn’t been

  circling

  the neighborhood

  blasting

  “Around the World in 80 Days”

  filling

  heater tanks

  maybe there is a shortage

  maybe it is all sent up north

  it’s the end of the season

  but it’s cold

  it must be so cold up there

  to warm ourselves usually

  we would take a hot bath

  but to fill the tub

  would take time and

  energy to heat the water

  we could end up with an empty tub or

  caught in the tub

  when

  15:24

  Earth moves

  a bath is a luxury

  but some people

  here

  and

  there

  don’t want to be anywhere near water

  we keep the electric pot filled

  for tea

  but later

  17:25

  clank! clank! clank!

  makes me

  21:02

  21:32

  colder

  21:33

  21:54<
br />
  before going to bed

  I warm myself

  looking at photos

  of

  sunflowers

  22:37

  40 CRANES

  DAY 8

  00:51

  01:44

  Earth pushes

  wakes me

  03:55

  I’m rocked

  back to sleep

  still no text from Yuka

  the house is so cold I stay under blankets

  I hear Mother tell Father

  an embassy e-mail says

  the US government is evacuating American citizens

  from Tokyo to East Asia

  Father tells her we can go

  I hear her say,

  we cannot go

  this is home

  she is plugged in

  working at her laptop

  communicating with and

  helping out

  foreigners who are leaving

  from my window

  I see Grandmother heading to the vegetable stand

  Great-grandfather is sowing seeds for more vegetables

  before Father leaves the house

  he comes, stands beside me

  asks if I want to leave

  I know Mother would go if I wanted

  I know he would let us go

  they would let me go

  I look at him

 

‹ Prev