Tryst

by Marie York

  Glass shattered and Lyla jumped. Before she or Declan could say something, I walked out and headed to my office to calm down.

  Chapter 45

  An hour later, there was a familiar knock at the door, and I looked up to see Lyla peering in, but not willing to take the extra step to cross the threshold. She held up a bottle of Jack.

  “I thought you could use a drink.”

  I held up the bottle from under my desk that I had hit up several times since I got up here. “Already had a few.”

  “Damn. Here I thought I was bringing you something you needed.”

  “You did.” She arched her eyebrow, and I held my hand out to her. “Come here.” I rested my head against her stomach, and she ran her fingers through my hair, bringing a calm over me that no amount of Jack could do. I lifted my head, and she cupped my cheeks. “The only thing I need is you.”

  She sat on my lap, and I held her tight. “Gary would’ve been the last person I suspected.”

  “Sometimes, people aren’t what they seem.”

  “I know, but for a stupid kid, he was smart as shit. He fooled me.”

  “He fooled everyone. Nobody expected him.”

  “I suspected you over him, and I hate myself for even thinking it,” I admitted, needing to get the guilt off my chest. I was sick of keeping shit bottled up inside of me.

  “I thought you trusted me?” she asked, and in that moment, I hated myself for the disappointment in her eyes.

  “I do. As soon as I saw you, the thought was gone.”

  She brushed her fingers behind my ears, sending chills down my spine. “I meant it when I said you can trust me.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry I doubted you for even a second.”

  She took my chin in her hand and urged my gaze to hers. “Don’t ever do it again.”

  “I promise I won’t.” I kissed her, swiping my tongue across her crease, and begging for her to let me in, desperate to taste her. To let her help me forget about this horrible fucking day. She parted instantly, and our tongues slid against each other hot and slick.

  Lyla had the power to calm me. To make me forget about all the bullshit and only think about her. Cole’s words echoed in my head. The one.

  I pulled back, holding her face in my hands. “I love you,” I said, for the first time since I was eighteen, but this time it meant so much more because it was real.

  Lyla’s lips curved up into the biggest sexiest smile. “I never thought I’d hear you say that. I love you, too.”

  I ran my finger up the delicate curve of her cheek. “Always.”

  She turned and kissed the inside of my hand. “Forever.”

  It was because I loved her, I needed to finally take Cole’s advice. “I have to leave for a few days,” I said as her lips trailed down my neck.

  “Are there problems in Ann Arbor?”

  I shook my head. “This has nothing to do with the bar.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Just something I have to do.”

  “Do you want me to come with you?” God, I wanted her there with me, but this was something that was a long time coming. Something I should have put to rest years ago.

  “It’s something I need to do on my own.”

  She pulled back, focusing those big brown eyes on me.

  I took her hands in mine and looked up at her. “Remember how you said I was mysterious and you wouldn’t want me any other way.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “I just need a few more days and then I’m all yours. I promise. No more man of mystery.”

  “You’re not going to do anything illegal, right? Like I don’t have to worry about you taking off and next thing I know I turn the five o’clock news on and see Gary was murdered.”

  I laughed. “First of all, you don’t watch the five o’clock news.”

  “Well maybe I was going to start.”

  “Nothing illegal,” I promised.

  She held her pinky up between us. “Pinky swear?” She nodded an adorable smile spreading wide across her lips. Jesus when she looked at me like that, I was fucking putty in her hands.

  “Pinky swear.” I linked my pinky with her much more delicate one. I brought our joined hands to my mouth and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

  “Now tell me you love me again,” she said.

  I picked her up, placing her on the desk. “I love you,” I said then showed her how much, over and over again.

  Chapter 46

  I never expected to come back here, but in order to move toward a future with Lyla, I needed to finally come to terms with my past. I’d never be able to be what Lyla deserved if I couldn’t give all of myself to her. I wanted to, but the problem was, six years ago, I left a piece of myself in my hometown.

  I didn’t even realize it was missing until I stepped off the plane, got into my rental and was hit with a rush of nostalgia so strong it knocked the damn wind out of me.

  Tears that I had forced back for so long, pressed against my lids, but I didn’t let them fall. I needed to keep it together, or I’d never make it through what I had to do next.

  I drove down Main Street of my hometown and past my old high school. The building was smaller than I remembered and the shrubs that once lined the perimeter were gone, replaced with small trees and flower beds.

  I made a right and kept driving until I came to the black iron gates of the cemetery. All these years and I had never gone beyond those gates. I’d driven by a few times after Tiffany had… I never could get myself to keep going. This time I pressed lightly on the gas and rolled through the gates.

  The scent of roses filled the rental from the flowers lying on the passenger seat. I scooped them up and with a deep breath got out of the car. I walked toward the far corner of the cemetery where a weeping willow cascaded down over several graves.

  It would’ve been impossible to miss Tiffany’s tombstone with the beautiful etched angel in the pink marble. It was feminine and elegant just as she was.

  I knelt down and placed the roses on the ground. It took a minute before I was finally able to lift my head and read the engraved words.

  Beloved daughter, granddaughter, niece and friend.

  Your smile, love & heart will be missed forever.

  My fingers traced the words before coming to a stop on top. There were so many things left unsaid, but I didn’t even know where to begin. How did you even put into words years of regret? I had no fucking idea, but I came all this way and I had to say something.

  I reached into the dark corner of my mind, the place that I kept behind a carefully erected wall, and knocked it down. My lips parted and my heart opened.

  I expected sorrow and sadness, but all the came out was rage. “Tiff, I came here today ready to put the past aside and I thought I’d shed a few tears and call it a day, but fuck that. I’m not sad. I’m so fucking angry with you. I’ve spent the last six years of my life, blaming myself for what you did. Pushing people away because I honestly believed I was some sort of monster. But I wasn’t. Was I? I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I take full responsibility for that, but you’re the one who made the decision. In the end, it was you and only you in that room. You held the knife, you made that first slice, not me.” Infuriated tears fell and I swiped them away. “I wish things had ended differently, but I’m not going to blame myself anymore.”

  “You shouldn’t,” a voice came from behind me.

  I swiped a hand over my face and glanced over my shoulder. Shock had me shooting to my feet. She had wrinkles around her eyes now, and a dullness in her gaze, but other than that Mrs. Spencer looked exactly as I remembered.

  “Mrs. Spencer,” I said, unsure of my words. The last time I saw this woman, she blamed me for her daughter’s death, and here I was, all these years later, practically yelling at her daughter’s grave.

  “Jaxon. It’s been a long time.”

  I nodded because what else was I going to say?

  “She would ha
ve loved those flowers.” She nodded toward the bouquet of roses I had placed.

  A smile cracked at the corner of my mouth. “They were her favorites.”

  Mrs. Spencer smiled, and though it fell short, I felt like it was the most genuine smile she had given in a long time.

  “After Tiffany passed,” she said. “I was angry. I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have, blamed a lot of people. It made me feel better, trying to find a reason why my beautiful baby girl would do such a thing to not just herself, but her family. It took me a long time to realize I was wrong and ever since I have lived with regret.”

  My heart clenched as she turned to me.

  “My biggest regret are the things I had said to you. You were an easy target especially because I knew you two had a fight that night. But if I could blame you then I could blame myself for not going to her when I heard her crying in her room. I was just so exhausted from the dramatics. I thought she was being a teenager and come morning she’d be back to smiling like usual.”

  “It’s not your fault either,” I said because I knew what it was like to live with the burden of that guilt.

  Mrs. Spencer’s hand slipped into mine and a rush of emotion choked me, making me unable to speak. “It’s not your fault either,” she said. She placed the flowers she held on Tiffany’s grave, kissed her fingers and touched the top of the headstone. She lingered for a moment with her eyes closed as if she was having a silent conversation with her daughter. Her eyes popped open and she tapped the grave twice. “It was good to see you Jax. I hope one day you can forgive me.”

  Her words had haunted me for years and always made me feel like I was some sort of beast. Made me think I was in capable of loving someone because I would destroy them just as I did Tiffany. But now, it was all so clear. She was a mother who was mourning, a mother who needed to blame someone to accept the things she couldn’t change. I didn’t only forgive her, I understood her.

  “I think I can.”

  She smiled again and headed back to her car. When she opened her door, she stopped and turned back to me. “I hope you found happiness.” And with that, she got in the car and drove away.

  I bent down and said my final goodbye to Tiffany. She would always be a part of my past, but it was time she stayed there. “Goodbye, Tiffany.”

  I stood up and headed back to my car. My happiness was in Michigan and I suddenly couldn’t wait to get back.

  Epilogue

  Tara did not accept my apology the first time, the second time, or even the sixth time. But I never gave up. I went to her apartment every day for two weeks before she finally agreed to come back to Baile. She agreed on one condition. If I allowed her to set up a jewelry display at the edge of the bar and sell her pieces. Turns out that’s where she was getting the extra cash from. She took Lyla’s advice and was selling like crazy. I even promised she could have a spot when Dara Baile opened its doors in a few months.

  Her first night back at Baile finally felt like home again. I had named it Baile for that very reason. I had been searching for so long for a place to call home, always looking, and never finding. Then, I came to Michigan, and something about this place just seemed right.

  I came here with the clothes on my back and money in the bank. Cole and Dee were my only family. Then Lyla came back into my life and I realized that the bar was a place to call home but it didn’t matter where I was in the world, if I was with Lyla, I would always be home.

  Lyla shut the door and turned the lock. “And closed. Get the bottle. Time to celebrate,” she said.

  I placed four shot glasses on the bar. One for myself, Lyla, Declan and Tara. Tara came up on Lyla’s right side. She may have forgiven me, but she hadn’t forgiven Declan yet. I imagined that wound cut deep, and would take a long time to mend.

  I poured the Jack into the glasses and passed them out. These people who sat in front of me weren’t just my friends. They were my family and my home.

  “To Tara,” Lyla said. “Happy to have you back, bitch.”

  “I’m actually happy to be back. I missed you, assholes.”

  We clinked glasses and downed the liquid. “Love you guys,” I said. “Now get the fuck out.” I jumped over the bar and wrapped Lyla in my arms. “I have things to do.”

  “More like someone to do,” Tara joked.

  “You know it,” Lyla said with a wink, grabbing my shirt, and pulling me toward the stairs.

  “I’ll walk you out,” Declan said to Tara.

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just don’t expect me to talk to you.”

  Declan’s eyes lit up. It was the most words Tara had uttered to him in weeks. Lyla and I waved goodbye as they stepped out into the night.

  “My room or yours?” Lyla asked, as she led me up the stairs.

  “How about our room?” I said. She turned around, shock flashing across her face. I took her in my arms and kissed the bridge of her nose. I found my happiness in Lyla and I no longer feared the light she brought into my life. I was ready to embrace it. “I think it’s time we officially moved in together. No more separate rooms.”

  “I love you.” She jumped up, wrapping her legs around my waist.

  “I love you, too. Come on, let’s go decide on which room.”

  She pulled my mouth to hers and spoke against my lip. “How about we worry about that tomorrow? Right now, I just want you inside of me.”

  We didn’t make it to either room.

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  ~Keep reading for an excerpt from The Bad Boys of Chaos Series~

  Unedited and subject to change

  Perfect Chaos

  Chapter 1

  Two years ago

  There was only one thing I wanted for my sixteenth birthday. It was nothing my parents’ money could buy me either. No. What I wanted didn’t come in a box or from a store. I was no longer a child, and tonight, for my birthday I would get Beckham Fox.

  Beckham would undoubtedly be here, just as he had been every night since he and my brother became friends four years ago. In less than a month, they would both be off to college, and I needed to make my move now.

  I looked in the mirror, admiring the sexy pink bra and panties I bought for this very occasion. My breasts, while not as big as I wanted them to be, looked hot pushed up against the lacy material. Bronzer accented the small swells, and gave me a pretty glow. I ran my fingers through my blonde hair, twisting the bottoms to give it a slight curl.

  I stood a little taller—confidence looked good on me—before sliding into my favorite summer dress. The same one I noticed Beckham do a double take at only a few weeks ago.

  Having Beckham as my boyfriend would be the ultimate dream come true. But, I was realistic. He was two and a half years older than me, on his way to college, and I was still a junior in high school. There was no way he’d want a relationship. So, I was going to give him what I knew he wanted.

  Sex.

  And, it wasn’t just what he wanted either. I wanted it too. My virginity was the only thing in my way. Mom had the talk with me not too long ago, telling me virginity was special. Something I needed to treasure and be careful with because I could only give it away once. Which is why I chose Beckham.

  A smile settled across my face, as I thought about the moment, he figured out I wanted to give him the ultimate gift on my birthday. He would be flattered, and stare into my soul with those gorgeous hazel eyes of his, and then he’d lay me on the bed and make love to me.

  “Kennedy, dinner’s almost ready,” Mom yelled from downstairs.

  I dabbed my lips with a little more gloss, air kissed my reflection and ran downstairs. I followed the delicious scent of barbeque outside to the patio.

  Mom set
the table while Dad finished getting the steaks onto a plate. The yard was already decorated for my party tomorrow, with pink and silver balloons along the pool gate. I couldn’t wait to tell my girlfriends about my greatest gift of all.

  I scanned the yard, searching for Beckham.

  “Mom, where’s Nixon and Beckham?” I asked, making sure to use my brother’s name first to make it less suspicious.

  “Ran to the store to get your orange soda. Can you go inside, and get me the napkins?”

  “Sure,” I said, turning around, and heading back to the house. I’d reapply my lip gloss too to make sure it was fresh when I finally saw Beckham.

  Just the thought of him had me skipping through the living room. I spun around the bend into the kitchen, and slammed smack dab into his hard chest. It felt amazing, and, God, did he smell good. Aftershave and cologne that was refreshing, yet masculine. I ran my hand up his abs, and rested it against the curve of his pec.

  “Beckham,” I whispered, glancing up, and locking eyes with the most gorgeous man alive. His dirty blond hair fell across his forehead, and it took all that I had not to reach up and swipe it back in place.

  His fingers wrapped around my hand, and I warmed at the contact. I swallowed down the desire to lift myself on tiptoes and touch my lips to his.

  He smiled, and I was happy he was holding my hand because my knees weakened at the sight.

  “You need to be more careful, Kenny,” he said, calling me by the nickname he gave me, which I was seriously growing to dislike. It put me in the category as one of his boys, and I didn’t want to be grouped with them. I wanted him to see me as Kennedy, a girl he couldn’t resist. And tonight he would.

  ***

  After dinner, I went back to my room, and waited for the perfect moment to make my move. The water turned off, so I knew Mom was done with the dishes. Pretty soon, she and Dad would be cuddled up on the couch watching their typical Friday night movie before they both passed out halfway through.