Only five of us remained—even Cuinn had been defeated by his last opponent.
I was determined to win.
BEING CROWNED THE VICTOR of the training session wasn't as satisfactory as I had hoped it was. The prize had been a little extra on our score, which only brought me up to par with the rest of the class since I had been doing so poorly. And the anger that had been boiling within me hadn't dissipated. It actually felt like I had fed it somehow.
Ignimitra was quiet on the flight back home.
We were great out there today, angel. I reached over to stroke the side of her neck.
The sun was now covered with thick clouds. The air at this altitude was chilly and moist in my lungs. Perhaps we would get an afternoon shower soon. Rain was always welcome in a place as hot as this.
Great? That's what you call it? Her voice felt like a dagger.
What are you upset about? This time, I wanted to add. But I reined myself in.
I fear that you are changing. And not for the best.
We were near to our destination, so I didn't press any further. When we landed, I stood in front of her, my arms akimbo.
What is the problem, Ignimitra?
Today on the battlefield, she began, her eyes aflame with a feeling I recognized for it was consuming me too. You asked your opponent to beg for your mercy and he did. But you still attacked him again.
I sucked in a sharp breath. Are you sure you want to defend him? We have been on the receiving end of their cruelty ever since we moved to this part of the mountain, Ignimitra. Who cares how I treat him?
I do, her voice was firm. I do because it isn't honorable. You are the one who taught me about respect, about treating people the same even when they don't deserve it. Yet, you don't show it to everyone.
I don't understand where this is coming from, I crossed my arms.
You attacked the dragonsnake even when it wasn't a threat to you. You attacked the soldier even when he wasn't a threat to you.
The dragonsnake was something completely different, I retorted. And it's bold of you to assume that he wasn't just waiting for me to turn my back on him to run me through. You saw how every one of his attacks was meant to kill me.
Ignimitra huffed, smoke coming from her nostrils.
Can you read hearts, Kaos?
She was being cynical. No, I can't.
Well I can read yours. You are changing, and I do not like it.
I stared at her for a long second, hurtful things curling on the tip of my tongue. But I didn't allow myself to say them.
Glancing down at myself, what I saw surprised me. My uniform was ripped in dozens of places. Cuts and slashes littered my skin, and in other places I knew there were bruises beneath my clothes. I needed a bath and a hot meal, perhaps some ointment for the sword wounds on my shoulder. Not an argument.
We can talk about this another time, I dismissed her.
After filling Ignimitra's trough, I disappeared into the house.
Chapter 10
Ignimitra didn't try to talk to me about it again.
I was happy that she didn't. We were bonded, but we were still different. She had only been alive a few months and she wasn't a human. It was hard to explain to her how nuanced human behavior was. Mostly, we had been able to pick up like nothing had happened, and I was fine with that.
There was already so much weighing on my mind. I doubt my dragon being angry at me could fit in there. Presently, I sat in the mess hall eating breakfast. I had left Ignimitra at home to eat hers until I returned.
The meal was simple—a hardboiled egg, vegetables and some grain. I was half-way through it when Jules showed up. She dropped herself into the seat across from me, wearing a dreary expression, unusual even for her.
I wrinkled an eyebrow.
"Who drenched your bed?" I asked.
Her eyes hardened, and she pulled her lips into a hard line. Whatever happened must've been horrible for it to affect Jules, the queen of aloofness this way. Part of me was intrigued to find out what it was.
She swatted me away. "It's terrible."
I pushed my plate aside, fully intending to soak up this story. A distraction from my feelings was welcome. Part of me wondered if it involved Avek somehow.
Had he told her about our relationship?
"What happened?" I pressed.
"I'm just coming from the infirmary," she began. My heart rate sped up.
Please don't be about Avek. Please don't be about Avek. Please don't be about Avek.
"It's Alchemist Bankola," she said.
That wasn't the name of the new alchemist the Headmaster had mentioned. Then recognition hit me like an arrow in the chest.
"Betheka?" Her name felt heavy on my tongue.
Jules nodded gravely. "I went to see her this morning to get something for my headache. But there was a sign on her door that she'd been admitted in the infirmary.
"For what?"
I knew that Betheka was sick, but she didn't make it seem like things would escalate this quickly.
"Beats me," she huffed. "I went to see if she would be able to tell me where she keeps the headache potions but they told me she was unconscious. That's why I'm in a crappy mood."
My heart picked up. Betheka was unconscious in the infirmary? It felt like I had fallen from the top of Pyra Volcano. My body was numb and my mind raced with dozens of questions. The feeling was so familiar that tears pricked my eyes.
I didn't want to lose her too.
"I've got to go," I said to Jules, already getting up from my seat.
She probably said something in response but I didn't hear. The moment I was out in the street I started running to the infirmary. I had to see Betheka for myself. Desperation was building in my throat. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry.
But most of all, I wanted to beg her not to leave.
I RAN ALL THE WAY TO the infirmary.
Seeing Luztra at the front desk relieved me just a little bit.
"Captain Kressin," she smiled.
"Luztra, is Betheka here?" I asked quickly. Her smile faltered.
"Betheka...?"
"Alchemist Bankola," I amended. My heart was about to speed out of my chest.
"Oh," she grinned. "Yes, she's here."
"I'd like to see her, please," I rushed out.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Captain, but—"
I cut her off. "I need to see her," I said urgently.
"She's unconscious. We can't allow strangers—"
"Betheka is my grandmother," I snapped. "I'm not a stranger. I'm her granddaughter. And if you don't let me through, I'll find her myself." I meant every word I said. Even if it meant stalking into every room while brandishing my sword, I would find her.
Whatever pleasantness that was in Luztra's eyes had burned away, leaving only fear in their wake. I was happy that my threat had worked. Did she think we were friends or something?
"Okay," her voice was shaky. "She's in room 1067."
"Thank you," I called over my shoulder as I disappeared into the corridor.
Betheka's room was close to the nurse's station on the floor. Despite the early hour, there weren't as many nurses as I had expected. I was able to slip into her room without anyone noticing me. The rooms on this floor were much different than the one Avek had been housed in.
Everything had been specially designed for someone with limited mobility. There was a toilet and tub inside the room, and instead of a writing desk, there was a sofa to recline in. A cabinet filled with medical accoutrements lay in one corner. The farthest wall had a huge glass door that opened onto a private balcony.
For a moment, I thought I had stumbled into the wrong room, for the person that lay in the bed didn't look like Betheka at all. I took a few more steps towards her. My breath caught when I recognized her distinctive white hair.
The huge bed dwarfed her. She looked frail compared to the woman I had been visiting ever since I started attending the Academy. She was clad in a nondescri
pt white infirmary gown, a far cry from the luxurious dresses she usually wore. I couldn't believe that it was actually her.
How had this happened?
I knelt beside her bed, the tears finally springing free.
When Betheka had described her illness to me, she had made it seem like a slow descent. I had thought of how I would handle this situation many times over, and in every scenario, I had imagined that I would've gotten some kind of warning.
To stumble upon this so suddenly? My heart was shattered.
She was the only relative I had.
I tried to comfort myself with the fact that she looked at peace. Her thick eyelashes lay against her cheeks, and her hair was splayed around her like a crown. Her chest rose and fell daintily—even unconsciously she was still so poised. She still had the same rich complexion, albeit with a few more wrinkles than last time. Something was off.
Leaning over, I looked at her skin more closely. There were marks on her arms and neck. It looked sort of like a rash, but I had never seen one with bumps so small. I would’ve missed them if I hadn’t been so observant.
Was this a side effect of her illness? I had never noticed them before.
I was about to touch one when the door to her room was flung open. There stood Luztra, accompanied by a whole horde of nurses and two dragon guard soldiers.
"You aren't allowed in here," One of the soldiers spoke. "Get out."
The other just pinned me with a dark glare. I recognized him as one of the soldiers who often accompanied the Headmaster.
My eyes found Luztra in the crowd. She looked away from me sheepishly. So, she was a snitch too? How fabulous.
"I'm leaving," I said, raising my arms. They parted to let me through.
I gave Luztra a hard stare as I walked by her. I would deal with her at some point.
Despite the interruption, I was grateful for the few minutes I had been able to spend with Betheka. She had to pull through this somehow. Or at least get well enough for us to have another of those amazing conversations. Just one last time.
One last time.
I didn't want to think those words about her. I couldn't delude myself either.
Betheka had lived a long, full life. This was bound to happen sooner or later. And as far as choices went, as much as I wanted her to live forever, being able to prepare for her departure was better than losing her suddenly. I heard her voice in my head then, telling me that she was strong.
The rational thoughts didn't save me from the turmoil of sadness and anger that permeated my existence. Losing Betheka wasn't something I could never ever prepare for, and already I felt like I had lost some of her.
I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it, and that scared me more than anything.
THINGS WERE WORSENING on the mountain.
In the days following my visit to Betheka, Pyralis had lost more territory to the Astraphotis-Terragi coalition, or The Rebels as they were now called in our circles. Star Fire Island had been claimed by them completely, as well as the island city of Anahita that we had visited. Slowly, they were encroaching on our territory, capturing civilians, killing dragons and pillaging our cities.
The number of Dragon Guard soldiers on the mountain had thinned significantly. Even soldiers from the cohorts I trained with were being called to their active duty assignments. Every day I woke with a start, my heart pounding with anxiety that I would find the Headmaster in my kitchen and he would tell me that our time had come.
But it never did.
I was just going through the motions, hoping that somehow things would get better. It was delusion at best, to wish away all your problems when the world was falling down around you. But it seemed like the only thing I could do.
Are you still upset at me? I ventured to ask Ignimitra.
We were alone in our backyard like we often were these days, fooling ourselves that we were relaxing when our minds were buckling on the weight of everything. At least mine was.
No, I am not. I laid bare my grouse with you and have given you the opportunity to change. Is that not how it should be done?
Her words were so musical in my mind that they left me in awe. I wanted to learn that from her, how to let go of grievances so easily.
There is nothing to learn, it's just something that you do.
I still forget that you can hear almost all my thoughts, I chuckled. It seems hard to do.
I think that's a human thing, she began. I value my relationship with you more than I value being right, even though I know I’m right. Deep down you are a good person, even though you sometimes do bad things. Humans don't seem to like extending that courtesy to others.
You're right. We don't.
I fell silent, thinking over her words. Good people can do bad things.
The realization struck me suddenly, bringing with it a wave of negative feelings. Mostly about myself and my horrible attitude.
What I've done to Irikai and Solra has been bad, huh?
Ignimitra chuckled. I don't think it's all your fault.
But I have a responsibility to do my part in fixing it.
For the first time in how many weeks, I allowed myself to really think about my friends. Solra and Irikai had been with me from the beginning of it all—I knew them before I had even laid eyes on the Academy. On our first meeting, Irikai gave me his dinner so I wouldn't go to bed hungry. And in every difficult situation since then, they had been there for me. We trained together, explored together, and helped carry each other's burdens.
It was because of them that I had managed to make it this far in the Academy. Part of me knew that they felt the same way—as a trio we had been able to improve our skills much quicker than alone. The fact that I was treading water up here in my training sessions proved that. Maybe they were hurting too.
Are you up for crashing a training session tomorrow?
Ignimitra looked at me with piqued interest, clearly reading my mind.
I'd love to.
THE NEXT MORNING IGNIMITRA and I flew to the Academy District.
We had no Advanced Training Sessions scheduled at this time every week, because I had been hellbent on continuing some of my training with Irikai and Solra. But ever since our falling out, I had been avoiding them.
I wanted to right the wrongs today.
My heart was in my throat as we approached.
How would they receive me? Would they even be here? A twinge of jealousy reared its head when I thought of the fact that Ignimitra wasn't burdened with these worries. Zelkor, Titan and Ignimitra hadn't broken contact with each other the way we did.
Dragons clearly had it figured out.
A smile crept to my lips when I recognized a set of familiar figures in the clearing as we approached—A tall raven-haired man, a short light-skinned woman and two dragons, one red and one light blue.
They still came to the clearing to train, even without me.
I could barely wait for Ignimitra to land. The moment she did, I hopped off bounding towards Solra and Irikai.
They were both dressed in their formal uniform, sparring with their swords and shields. The shields were new—-I didn't know they learned to use them down here. Even I hadn't gotten the hang of them yet.
Irikai used his shield to block Solra's attack, trying to strike her with his own sword. She angled out of the way, using her shield to hit him on the side of the head. I couldn't stifle the laugh that escaped me.
The sound pulled them out of their spar.
I was met with hard eyes—particularly from Solra. Irikai appraised me as nonchalantly as he appraised everything.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, arms akimbo.
"We have a scheduled training session today," I rubbed the back of my head. "I figured we could pick up where we left off?"
My sentence didn't have the effect I had imagined. Instead of seeming happy at the idea, they looked at me like I had sprouted a second head.
Solra scoffed. Irikai looked like I h
ad told him a joke.
"You've been missing for weeks," he said, returning his sword to its scabbard, a smile at the edges of his lips. “And the last time we trained didn’t exactly go well.”
Irikai looked different. His hair had grown longer, the dark brown waves now touching his shoulders. The lines of his face were harder, more defined. Almost overnight, he had transitioned into a man—not the skinny boy I remembered.
Solra had changed too. She had lost weight—the shape of her legs and arms were more defined than I last remembered. They had grown, and I hadn't been here to witness it.
"I just..." I didn't know how to respond to that. "I needed some time to realize that I was kind of responsible for what happened too."
"Kind of?" I'd struck a nerve with Solra apparently. “You drag yourself back here after so long the best you can do is say that it was kind of your fault?" She still held her sword in her hand, bringing back memories of our ill-fated spar.
I wasn’t going to apologize for that part of it.
"What would you have preferred me to say?" I was genuinely curious. After all this time, did they really think that this was all my doing?
"I don't know? Maybe admit that you're selfish and that was the real reason why you left us down here? Or we could start with how you're only back now because you probably need us, not because you think you did anything wrong.”
Her words stung.
My first instinct was to shout back to her, to remind her of all the reasons why they were the ones being unreasonable. But I didn't. Ignimitra and I had talked about this. Good people can do bad things and it doesn't make them bad. Solra wasn't my enemy, no matter how much she wanted to believe it.
Neither was I hers.
"I'm back, because I think we're better as a team," I responded as calmly as I could. “And I know you guys feel the same way I do.”
"That's too bad," Solra taunted. "Because we've already asked to have your position in Team Sigma filled."
Irikai spoke up then, glancing between Solra and I. "We don't know when cadets will be sent into active duty. We want a teammate who actually shows up for training with us."
Dragon Guard Page 13