His arms were behind his back. "The war in New Terra is worsening. You’ve noticed that many of your comrades have been pulled from training to help quell the unrest," his words called back images of the savage Astraphotians. "Despite this, we've lost a number of our garrisons to the Rebels."
He seemed to withhold the details because cadets were in our midst. Still, whispers were on the lips of those who gathered. It was unlike the Headmaster to admit that we were losing. What was the catch? He droned on for a few more minutes, before what he was saying caught my attention again.
“At the Fire Drakken’s behest, we have reallocated resources to aid in the research and development of new methods to win this war. The Rebels and their wretched Earth Dragons have been able to overpower our Fire Dragons eventually in every battle.” He paused to smile. “Until now. Now, we have a solution.” His words didn't make sense. "Just yesterday, our new alchemist and his team had a breakthrough in his research and development of a cutting-edge serum that will make our dragons invincible."
No.
"The real reason we are gathered here today is to learn of the patriots who have volunteered to be its first testers."
No. No.
"Captain Kaos Kressin and her dragon partner, Ignimitra."
No. No. No. No. No!
Kaos? Ignimitra's voice was urgent.
I didn't agree to this, angel. I would never.
You tell the truth.
Then she fell silent. All eyes were on me.
When I looked up at the Headmaster, he wore a sinister grin on his face, his cold eyes communicating all the words he had left unsaid. Somehow, he knew that I hadn't kept my mouth. And now, he was making good on his promise to punish me for my actions.
It was impossible for the serum to have been “perfected” so soon. Not after what I had seen happen to that dragon. This was just his way of disposing of us.
My knees felt weak.
Chapter 12
I couldn't catch my breath.
My heart was galloping so fast I couldn't feel my pulse. My skin felt numb and alive at the same time, as if tiny needles were pricking me inch by inch. And my breathing, I couldn't control it. My breaths grew shallower and shallower until I was doubled desperate for air.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. But I ended up retching all over my kitchen floor.
This couldn't be happening. It must've been a nightmare.
After the Headmaster's little announcement, Ignimitra and I came back home. But even here didn't feel safe. Nowhere was safe from his maniacal clutches.
I had learned that the hard way.
Had he learned that I had told Betheka? Or did he somehow eavesdrop on my conversation with Avek last night? When had he thought of this sinister plan? Did he decide to do it the moment I trespassed on the testing site and gave me false hope that there was something I could do to save ourselves?
Each thought brought with it another wave of nausea. Soon, I was dry heaving.
I was completely powerless.
A few minutes later, my body felt spent. My breathing had slowed enough for me to feel like I wasn’t already dying. Instead of the fast heartbeat and prickly skin, there was a cloud of sadness. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into my bed and sleep until all of this was over.
But I couldn't do that. I had to protect Ignimitra.
After cleaning up my mess, I ran all the way to the infirmary.
LUZTRA WAS AT THE FRONT desk again.
The moment she saw me enter; a worried look creased her brow. I walked up to her quickly, panting from the run. Sweat soaked me all over and my joints wailed.
"I know I'm not allowed but I need to—"
"I understand," she said quickly, cutting me off. "They say she's been asking for you. But she's still so sick. Awake, but barely lucid."
My throat felt like it was closing. This wasn’t the prognosis I had hoped to hear.
"Can I go?" I asked.
She nodded, "But don't spend too long. I can only keep people out for so long before they get suspicious."
Perhaps Luztra hadn’t called the Dragon Guard on me the last time. But there was no time to apologize to her for how I had treated her, especially not when apologies were now way more tedious than I thought.
I slipped into the corridor and bounded to Betheka's room.
The door was slightly ajar, and at first, I feared the worst. Images of how she had been the last time came rushing to my mind, and I almost turned back.
I found her sitting up in bed.
"Beth!" I exclaimed.
Her eyes found mine and her lips twisted into a smile. It looked like it was painful for her to smile, so I appreciated it even more. I rushed over to her, bringing a stool with me so I could sit at her bedside.
"My child, Kaos," she croaked. Her voice was so weak the noise from the ceiling fan almost drowned it out. She looked paper-thin.
"I'm here, Betheka," I took her hand carefully, afraid that I’d hurt her. "I'm here."
"I was worried that I wouldn't get to see you before I left."
My throat grew dry, and a headache blossomed in the back of my head. Before she left? I took in a deep breath to calm my thoughts. "I'm so happy to see you."
She gave me a toothy grin.
"What happened to you?" The question had kept me awake for so long that I jumped at the first opportunity to get an answer. What I had to ask her could wait.
She clicked her tongue. "You’ll find out, don’t worry. But I’d rather not tell you here,” she lowered her voice even further that I had to strain to hear her, “The walls have ears.”
With much effort, Betheka reached into her bosom and produced a golden key that I recognized immediately. It was the key to her basement.
"I don't know how much longer I have left, my love," she said with a nonchalance that prickled my skin. "Everything you need is in that basement, so please keep this safe.”
"No, Beth," Tears threatened to fall. "You can't leave me just yet, I need you. Ignimitra needs you. All the dragons on the mountain need you."
She already looked so much weaker than a few minutes ago. The hand that had given me the key was shaking almost uncontrollably at her side. She leaned back in her bed, a satisfied smile on her face.
"Don't feel sad for me, my granddaughter. I am going to see my boy again." A cough rattled her body. "And besides, as much as this hurt, I don't think I'm leaving just yet. This old body's sturdier than you think."
My cheeks were soaked with tears, crying all the words I couldn’t bring myself to say.
"Promise me something," her voice was waning.
I leaned over to stroke her thin, curly hair. "Anything for you."
"Make the bastards pay for everything." A flash of the Old Betheka took over her features, the one who had nearly walloped when she thought I had hurt Ignimitra.
With those words she closed her eyes.
At first, I thought she had gone and died, right in front of me. But a hand on her neck exposed a weak pulse. She was still here, hanging on. Against my better judgement, I leaned over and hugged her, crying into her bosom. No matter what she said, I knew her time was near.
I still wasn't any closer to figuring out what I could do to save Ignimitra from the Headmaster's murderous clutches, and my grandmother was almost dead.
EACH STEP I TOOK MADE it harder to breathe.
I had barely made it out of the infirmary when my heart rate picked up again.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, every inch of my skin feeling like a live wire. The street lights were suddenly too bright, and despite this I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me. It felt like I was trapped in a hazy dream, watching myself take sluggish steps down the street. When I focused harder, everything was too sharp for me to process all at once.
The key Betheka gave me felt like lead in my hands.
She had given me access to her most precious possessions. It was in that room under
her house that I had found my father's picture—which I now realized she had kept because he was her son—and it was there I had learned much about Ignimitra and even myself. That room housed everything important to her, and now she saw it fit to give it all to me.
The nausea building in my stomach forced me to my knees.
There were few people around at this hour, most of the soldiers had already turned in for the night, while the others drank away the night at taverns in the Artisan District. The thought of them discussing the Headmaster's announcement over a cup of ale pushed me over the edge.
Fortunately, my stomach was empty. I was doubled over on my hands and knees, dry-heaving, while my mind was racing with thoughts I could barely keep track of.
Why was my life this...hard? Why was it this difficult for me to exist? Which of my ancestor’s sins was I paying for? This suffering...surely it wasn’t supposed to be normal.
Weakness was something I detested, and these days, I felt nothing but weak.
Nothing but powerless.
Nothing but enslaved.
Here on this mountain, devoid of choice I had lost the one thing that had always kept the fire in my heart burning. My hope. My strength. My belief that through my own choices I could make my life better, regardless of what happened.
But now, here I was. On my hands and knees in the street, like a Vromiko beggar. Powerless to everything unfolding around me. Losing my friends, losing my grandmother, and seemingly about to lose my dragon. What was I even fighting for anymore?
None of this was supposed to go like this.
And it won't.
I was so far gone that I thought I was hallucinating her voice.
Kaos, get up.
I didn't want to move. I felt pain all over and I just wanted it to end. Maybe if I just laid down in the street for a bit...
Kaos!
The shout rattled my teeth. I blinked my eyes open. When had I closed them?
At first, it seemed like I was still alone. I looked up to see Ignimitra, hovering in the air above me. Her white scales shimmered in the moonlight, in stark contrast to the black sky around her. The sight of her squeezed my heart. I wanted nothing more than to protect her, to keep her safe. But it seemed that I was failing at even that.
It's my responsibility to protect you too, her voice tickled my brain.
Tears pricked the corner of my eyes. I squinted them away.
The next second, she was swooping down towards me. The road was just broad enough for her, and she landed with a thud that rattled some of the buildings. Her amethyst eyes were fierce burning with the fire I once had within me.
It's still there, within you. I can see it.
You flatter me, angel.
I felt too weak to smile, too weak to move.
Come, we should go home. You cannot sleep here.
I wanted to sleep here.
Ignimitra shook her head, her huge horns blurring with the movement. At first, I thought she was going to yield. But then I felt a familiar crackle of electricity in my veins.
I have given you the strength to move. Please come home.
Resisting Ignimitra wouldn't get me anywhere. So reluctantly, I obliged.
The flight home passed in a blur. Inside, I stowed the key from Betheka in one of the drawers in my chest with shaky hands.
Reprieve came when I sunk into my bed.
Chapter 13
Scratch, scratch.
The sound floated into my consciousness.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
It was jarring, like nails on glass. Why wouldn't it stop?
Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch.
My teeth were trembling, my skin itched. If only I could get it to stop. Then I could drift back into the softness that was beckoning to me. There was no pain there...
Kaos, wake up!
I woke with a start, screaming until I realized what was happening. I was swathed in blankets, in my bed. Not anywhere else. Just, in my bed. Alone.
Ignimitra? I was sure I heard her.
I am at the window.
That was where that awful sound came from. Sure enough, an amethyst eye peered back at me through the scratched glass. The window looked over the narrow side of the yard. How did she manage to fit there?
I have a long neck, she offered, shaking her head to show me that it really was just her head at my window. It's time for breakfast, isn't it?
My head felt like I had been hit with a sledgehammer. My body ached all over, and my stomach felt like somebody was squeezing it with thorny gloves. Sleep felt much better than this.
I'll fill your trough.
I am not as hungry as you are. Furthermore, I want us to eat at the mess hall in the Academy District today.
'Furthermore'? Where did that come from? The thought of doing anything today had me falling back into bed and covering my head with my pillow. I didn't want to leave this bed. Not now, not ever. And I surely didn't want to go rub shoulders with people when I felt like a fresh pile of dung. Nothing mattered anymore—not food, not training, not my life.
If you go back to sleep, I will scratch this window until it breaks.
Be my guest.
She held true to her end of the bargain.
After a few seconds of the horrible sound I couldn't take it anymore.
Fine! I huffed, throwing the covers off me. I'll be there soon.
Nearly an hour later, Ignimitra and I were airborne. I had forgone a shower in favor of napping in the bathroom. I probably looked like hell, but it didn't matter anymore. It was when Ignimitra angled towards the Academy District that her words finally registered in my mind.
What?! Why are we having breakfast at the Academy District?
A tendril of panic snaked through the numbness I felt, seizing my throat and pricking my skin.
Change of scenery.
I was suspicious. Ignimitra never cared about where she had breakfast. Charcoal was charcoal wherever she ate it.
I don't like the feeling of this.
You dislike a lot of things these days.
I rolled my eyes at her, swatting away. A soft chuckle resonated in my head. She seemed satisfied with herself.
When we landed in the clearing that surrounded the mess hall, much of its usual busyness had died down. The dragon yard was sparse, with only a few dragons still eating. My heart leapt. Maybe we were too late and my fears wouldn't even materialize.
Until I spotted two familiar dragons to the farthest corner. So, they were still inside.
Now, about that charcoal you offered earlier? She said when we had landed.
Yeah, yeah. I know.
There was no line to get charcoal, and before long I had her trough filled. She tucked in happily, leaving me to my own devices.
It was the pain in the pit of my stomach that led me into the mess hall, nothing else. I needed food—it felt like I had thrown up enough for an entire lifetime in the past twenty-four hours. My body was screaming for sustenance.
Inside the hall was just as empty as outside. Only a few cadets were dotted around the expanse of tables, many of them talking instead of eating.
This time, I wouldn't even try to collect my own food. I walked over to the table where Irikai and Solra sat locked in deep conversation with each other. They hadn't noticed I was there yet, and it was strange to see how different they were when I wasn't around.
Solra's eyes twinkled as she sat talking to Irikai, her smile nearly taking up her entire face. He looked at her like she was the only girl in the room—technically she was before I entered—but it was still mesmerizing to see. He traced a finger along her jaw, and she responded by grasping his palm. A pang of guilt twisted in my chest. I hadn't been there to see their relationship progress.
I drew their attention when I sat in the seat across from them.
Solra's smile fell from her face, and Irikai seemed like he wanted to look at anything but me. That pang of guilt turned into a stone that sunk into m
y stomach.
"Missed your way?" Solra said.
She always had a quick tongue, and she was never afraid to let you know how she felt. Did I ever think that I'd be on the receiving end of her anger? Nope. But a lot of things had been happening that I never imagined.
"No," I said, making eye contact with one of the cooks in the galley. Recognition flashed in her eyes, then she started making a plate for me. "Just figured I'd eat breakfast here."
It was clear that she hadn’t expected my soft answer.
I took a deep breath and tried to remember what Avek and I had talked about, about how to apologize. I knew I couldn't change their minds immediately, but I could start.
Preferably after eating breakfast though. One of the ladies from the kitchen appeared shortly after with a plate brimming with food. I thanked her and tucked into it. My stomach was happy for anything, even when the food was this cold.
When I had enough to satiate myself, I looked up to find Irikai holding back a smile.
"You look like you haven't seen food in days," he chuckled softly. Solra glared at him.
I shrugged. "Something like that," I said, using a piece of bread to soak up some of the gravy.
"I thought the food up at The Peak was better than the food down here?" She mocked, narrowing her eyes at me.
"It is," I affirmed nonchalantly. "But when you're hungry, anything works."
Again, she seemed stumped that I didn't try to defend myself, or attack her. The flash of confusion on her face was entertaining. Now seemed like a better time than ever to get started on apologizing.
"When I made the decision, I didn't think about how you guys were feeling," I started, looking down at my plate. My throat felt tight. "I was just thinking about myself, how difficult it was for me and what I needed to do. I made a mistake, and I realize that now."
Solra didn't seem very affected by what I had said, her expression unreadable. But it seemed I was making inroads with Irikai, the way his lips turned up and the small crease between his brow. He understood me.
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