Beyond Words: The Hutton Family Book 1

by Brooks, Abby

  Chapter Thirty-One

  from: Katydid

  to: Skywalker

  date: September 6, 2018 at 7:45 am

  subject: Goodbye, Skywalker

  I’m not in Texas anymore. I haven’t been for weeks now. After Nash left me, I had nowhere to go, so I moved in with my mom. She lives in the Florida Keys. In an RV. Which means I had to sleep on a bed that was also our table. I got a job at a resort as a masseuse, and oddly enough, they offer housing to employees who need a place to stay. I moved in and have been living here almost the entire time we’ve been emailing.

  I didn’t tell you.

  Why? I still don’t know.

  I think I liked the anonymity.

  That little bit of a buffer between us after everything that happened between me and Nash.

  Or maybe I didn’t want you to find out I was so far away because I was afraid you’d stop emailing if you thought we would never meet. Maybe I wanted to keep you even though I never really had you. Maybe the only way I could be completely open with you was to know I was still in control.

  Honestly, I can’t explain why I didn’t tell you, why I felt the need to keep you close, but separate. All I know is that I did.

  The question I have though, is do you know why you did?

  Why you told me everything but your name?

  Your occupation?

  You mentioned a family once. Are you married? Is that why you never responded after I dropped a major hint that I was ready to meet in person?

  Anyway, my name is Catherine Wallace. My friends call me Cat. I’m a masseuse who is too afraid to start her own business even though she claims that’s her lifelong goal. A woman who is too afraid of being rejected that she hides behind half-truths and is more than happy to take the attention a stranger offered her.

  The thing is, you’re not giving me enough. Which is a shitty thing to say, because I’m not giving you enough either. But I need a real person. One who can look me in the eyes and laugh with me and call me on my bullshit.

  I met a man, Skywalker. And, for a while, I thought I was falling in love with you, but then I realized what it felt like to fall in love with someone for real. Someone I can touch. Smell. Hear. Someone I don’t have time to cultivate my answers for, someone whose very existence challenges me to be real. Honest.

  And I’ve not been very honest. Everything I gave to you, I kept from him. Everything I kept from you, I gave to him.

  I think you are one of the most amazing human beings to ever walk this earth. A man with integrity and humor and a poetic way of looking at the world. In any other situation, we could have been wonderful together. But in this situation, I’m going to have to call it.

  I can’t keep doing this.

  Living in my head. Falling in love with you when I actually don’t know anything about your life. This isn’t right. It’s…I don’t know…I’m not being real and I very much believe that I need to be real or I’ll end up in another situation like the one I was in with Nash.

  The other man doesn’t love me, by the way. Or maybe he does, at least according to his sister. But there’s someone else.

  Anyway, this is a verbal vomit of confusion. In some ways, you’ve become my best friend, the one person I pour my heart out too, and so, how can I NOT explain this to you. When I discovered Nash had been cheating on me, it hurt. My God. It hurt so much. And you and I aren’t in a relationship, and maybe I’ve placed too much importance on who we are for each other, but the truth of it is, I can’t be like Nash. I can’t keep part of myself from you while giving it to someone else because what if, what if, you are falling in love with me too?

  What if you spend every day at the coffee shop, waiting for me to walk through the door?

  And I’m across the Gulf of Mexico, slowly falling in love with a man who belongs to someone else.

  It’s a tragedy, Skywalker. It’s a damn tragedy.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Lucas

  My phone vibrated, drawing me from sleep in time to hear Cat’s door closing and her soft footsteps disappearing down the hall. She was leaving without saying goodbye and I was going to let her.

  I had to let her.

  As much as it hurt, I had to let her go. It was time to give myself completely to Katydid. Today, I would send an email, a formal introduction, and ask to meet her in our coffee shop.

  Wiping sleep out of my eyes, I rolled over and swiped my phone off my nightstand. The sorrow I felt because Cat was leaving diminished when I saw Katydid’s name, only to surge back to life when I saw the subject line.

  Goodbye, Skywalker.

  Goodbye?

  Goodbye?

  I turned my back on Cat on her worst day for Katydid. And only after that, she hit me with goodbye? I unlocked my phone and read through the email, then sat there, stunned.

  I read it again.

  I would have read it again, if I hadn’t realized that Cat was downstairs, packing up her Jeep as I sat there like an idiot, processing the biggest shock of my life.

  Cat was Katydid.

  Katydid was Cat.

  I could have them both.

  As long as I could get downstairs before she left.

  Clutching my phone to my chest, I ran down the stairs in my bare feet and gray sweats, taking them two at a time and rushing past a groggy Wyatt on my way out the door.

  There she was, the wind from an incoming storm whipping her hair around her face as she struggled to get the top back on her Jeep. She was crying. I could see it in the way she held herself. I called her name, but she turned her back to me. She wanted me to leave her alone.

  But I couldn’t. With my heart yammering in my chest, I took off across the parking lot. “Katydid!”

  She froze. And then, slowly, she lowered her arms and turned to face me as the first few drops of rain splashed dark spots onto the pavement. A lock of hair blew across her face and I moved to brush it away. She stepped back and swiped it away herself.

  “What did you call me?”

  “Katydid.” I held out my phone as if it explained everything. “I read your email.”

  “What email?” Cat scowled, her eyes darkening with suspicion.

  “The one you sent me before you left.”

  “But I didn’t send you…” Like clouds moving to reveal the sun, confusion left her face. “Are you Skywalker?”

  The only words I could muster were, “Can you believe it?”

  “You’re Skywalker?”

  I nodded. “I am.”

  I expected her to smile. To laugh. To talk about the crazy coincidences that brought us together. I expected her to ask questions, probably the same questions buzzing through my own head.

  She did none of those things.

  Her eyebrows drew together. Her eyes narrowed. Her jaw clenched.

  I waited for her to come to terms with everything, but she only kept looking angrier. So I did the thing any rational man would do in a situation like this. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her as if my life depended on it.

  All the feelings I’d built for Katydid were in that kiss. All the physical attraction for Cat. All the pent-up frustration of wanting both of them but not really having either of them went into that single moment of contact. I ran my hands along her back, savoring her curves and obliterating the space between us.

  Cat pulled back, confusion still dancing with anger. She slapped me across the face, then dropped her jaw, stunned by her own action.

  “Cat…”

  She slapped me again. Then stepped into my arms and kissed me.

  Her body melted against mine, as soft and supple as I knew it would be. Her hands slid up my arms as her lips parted for me. She gave me her soul with that kiss, and I gladly took it all, cherishing the gift for the treasure it was.

  This woman was meant for me. As our tongues clashed in the parking lot, the wind rioting around my bare shoulders as her soft
breasts pressed against my chest, I realized that with her, I could have everything. Another person with her eyes open, willing to question the way she saw the world, to look at everything from as many different angles as she could think of. She was here. In my arms.

  I didn’t have to worry about two different women, because both of them were wrapped up into one magnificent human being.

  A raindrop hit my shoulder. First one. Then another. And another. Cat pulled back, smiling, as the skies opened up. She laughed as her hair matted to her head and her T-shirt clung to her pert breasts.

  I swept her into my arms and carried her back to the house, pushing right past a very surprised looking Wyatt, and climbed the steps to deposit her on my bed. She was mine. She was everything.

  And I was going to show her what it meant to have her body worshipped by a man who knew what he was doing.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Cat

  Nerves spun in my stomach as Lucas undressed me, reverently peeling back my wet clothing as if I was the greatest gift he had ever received. I wanted this. I wanted it so badly, I hadn’t been able to fall asleep at night, knowing he was on the other side of the wall. That sexy body wrapped in sheets and who knew what else.

  Lucas trailed kisses along my throat as his hands cupped my breasts and his knees spread my thighs. Anxiety quenched the fire burning inside me and I scurried out from underneath him. I was broken. My body hadn’t responded to stimulation in years, and as stimulating as Lucas was, fear trembled through my limbs. What if, after all we’d been through, I still couldn’t perform?

  “Lucas…” I began, unsure where I intended to end.

  Of all the people in my world, this man knew what I had been struggling through better than anyone. In email after email, I had poured my heart out to him. I watched him understand my fear and then I saw a glimpse of the cocky, self-assured man who left that first note in my journal. His gaze strengthened and a predatory look settled across his face. In response, a low thrum started in my core—more than I had felt in years.

  My muscles clenched.

  My breath quickened.

  And Lucas smiled.

  “I've got you,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair off my face. “Trust me, KatyCat.”

  Happiness bloomed in me, hearing the new nickname, and I stared at the man who was the perfect blend of everything I thought I could never have.

  Lucas placed a finger under my chin, lifting my face to his. “I promised you that I would bring you ecstasy and I will. I will, Cat. Close your eyes. Stop thinking. Just feel.”

  I did as he asked, closing my eyes, focusing on the sensation of his skin against mine, on the whisper of his breath as he kissed my skin. The faint hint of his cologne danced through the air between us. The stubble along his chin scratched deliciously down my stomach as he lowered himself, kissing and biting and licking and sucking. His hands pressed on my inner thighs, spreading me wide, opening me to him.

  I tensed, ready to stop him before he could start, and then his tongue flicked out, drawing a delicate line across my slit. I dropped my head back, moaning. His touch was decadent, working my body with a delicate patience, driving me forward with a relentless rhythm.

  I threaded my fingers through his hair as he worked his magic. Carefully, and with much attention to detail, Lucas brought me back to life. Awakening parts of me I had forgotten existed.

  Sensation washed over me, humming and thrumming. I lost sight of where we were and who we were. All the fear and anxiety I kept locked inside melted away, as inch by frozen inch thawed.

  I screamed his name as my breath hitched and my hips bucked, hands clutching at the sheets.

  His rhythm never faltered, though I felt him smile against me as he slipped a finger inside, stroking and tracing my inner walls. Just like that, an orgasm exploded through my nerve-endings. Fireworks danced through my vision and my body melted as I moaned, low and primal. I arched my back, tightening my lips against the sound, aware that we weren’t the only people in the house.

  As my body writhed under Lucas’ ministrations, he guided me over the edge and then right back to it time and again. With my legs trembling and shaking, I lifted my head and stared down at his blonde hair between my thighs. He sat up, drawing the back of his hand across his mouth as he stood, his gaze raking over me. I smiled sheepishly, feeling languid and sated and ready for more.

  In one swift movement, Lucas freed himself of his sweatpants and then pulled a condom from his bedside table. I had only a few stuttering heartbeats to appreciate him in all his glory before he gripped his thick length in one hand, guiding it toward my spread legs. He pressed his tip against me and I ran my fingernails along his soldier’s body mottled with scars.

  As I met his glorious blue eyes, I realized that I had belonged to him all along.

  My mom and dad being such opposites…

  My childhood happening in three perfect chunks of parenting…

  My life had molded me for this man who was so strong and stable on the outside, but so soft and wonderful in his heart. My warrior poet.

  Lucas smiled down at me as he slipped inside, the pressure of his girth enough to bring a second orgasm out of nowhere. It shattered over me as he rolled his hips and whispered my name. I grabbed his arms, holding on to him as he moved. Clinging to him as if he could keep me tethered to the earth while my soul soared somewhere high above.

  “You’re everything,” he whispered. “Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever needed and never thought I’d have.”

  Before I could reply, his eyelids fluttered closed and pleasure washed over his face. He gripped my hips and plunged into me, sending me over the edge once again as our bodies rioted in unison.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Lucas

  I lowered myself to the bed beside Cat. She rolled onto her side, her face just inches from mine. “Hi,” she said, emotion swimming in her eyes.

  I smiled as I traced a finger along her hairline. “Hi.”

  “So, how did…” I began at the same time she said, “I can’t believe…”

  A knock sounded at the door before either of us could continue. “Ummm…Cat?” Laughter framed Wyatt’s voice. “I just wanted to let you know that I finished putting the top on your Jeep. It’s still raining, but you…uh…don’t need to stop what you’re doing. Or worry about the rest of us. We didn’t hear a thing.”

  Cat sat up, clutching the sheets to her chest, looking absolutely appalled. She pressed a hand to her open mouth, eyes wide. “I’ll never be able to look your family in the eyes again.” She glanced around the room. “This is all there is for me. I’ll never be able to leave. I’ll just be stuck in your bed for the rest of eternity.”

  I laughed and pulled her back into my arms, thrilled to finally be able to touch her, still struggling to reconcile the fact that she was both women I had come to adore. “Works for me,” I said, then deposited kisses along her jawline before capturing her lips with mine. She tasted of honey—sweet and rich and wonderful.

  “I just can’t believe you’re…you.” I murmured the words against her ear and Cat nodded her agreement.

  “I keep trying to make sense of it, but it just feels like magic.”

  “Like, kismet.”

  “Serendipity.” Cat smiled, tracing a finger along my cheek. “I figured it out. Once. On the boat, the day I asked about your scars? You talked about dying, and having a nickname. For a few seconds, I couldn’t breathe. Not even a little bit. I was so sure you were Skywalker. But then Wyatt called you the Bionic Man and I realized what an idiot I was to think…” Cat trailed off, wonder dancing in her eyes. “I think I sent you—the Skywalker you—an email after that.”

  I tried to think back over the last several weeks, weaving the timeline of Cat and Katydid together into one tapestry of moments. “Was that the one where you talked about the masks we wear?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe?”

  “That email stood out t
o me for two reasons. For one, you used the word intense, and I can’t tell you how many times people have used that word to describe me. And two, it was the first time you ever sounded anything but happy since we started talking.”

  “If I used the word intense, I was surely talking about you.” Cat paused, weeks of emotion on her face. “If it’s the one I’m thinking of, I had started to realize how much chemistry we had, and was really doubting…well…everything. The attraction between us, both in email and in real life, was so powerful. And there I was, trying to work out how to choose between you.”

  “I completely understand,” I said, then pulled her into my arms. I’d been wading through similar concerns, wondering how I could be falling in love with two women at once, when loyalty was such a core tenet of my personality. It seemed too good to be true to learn that I had actually been falling in love with just one woman. One beautiful, amazing, intelligent, sexy woman.

  I said as much to Cat and she blushed, her cheeks warming until they were adorably pink, her eyes sparkling like the clearest waters in Caleb’s cove. And then, the light in her dimmed, slowly fading out until sadness tugged at her features. “I hate that I have to go. It’s almost cruel that I have to leave after all this.”

  “Go? Go where?” I just got her. I didn’t think I could let her go.

  “My mom is expecting me. I told her I’d be back last night, but was such a wreck, I couldn’t bring myself to face her. To face anyone really. I just sat there on the beach, feeling sorry for myself until you showed up. I need to call her, in case she’s worrying.”

  Cat fished her cell out of the back pocket of her shorts and perched on the edge of my bed, wrapped in a sheet and more stress than seemed possible for her to bear. I heard her mom answer with a joyous “There’s my Katydid!” and was once again struck by how close we must have come to stumbling upon the truth so many times.