Jaden eyed me for a moment before he started the engine.
“Graveyard,” I reminded him as we were rolling into the traffic.
He nodded. Something in his expression screamed worry.
“Is there anything wrong?” I tried.
Jaden looked straight ahead, his eyes unblinking.
A car cut into the street right in front of us.
My body slammed into the safety belt as Jaden hit the break. His hand flung itself onto my chest, holding me in place as he cursed under his breath.
I coughed and my pulse climbed to a flutter more than a steady beat.
Dangerous scenes in traffic did this to me, ever since my parents’ car accident.
“Are you alright?” He turned to me and measured my expression while slowly accelerating the car to normal speed.
My hands were clutching the little flower violently. They had mangled it to a point where it wouldn’t stay straight.
I didn’t answer. Instead I let my head sink and hid in my scarf until Jaden pulled up at the cemetery.
“Ready?” Jaden asked, his face cautious and a little bit sympathetic.
It took me a minute before I could speak.
“Yes.”
I opened the door with shaking fingers. My legs were slow and heavy as I set them on the ground. The rest of my body seemed similarly reluctant to face the proof of Adam’s death.
His gravestone was all that was left of him in this physical world. The gravestone and the pain in my chest.
Jaden was at my side within a heartbeat.
“Shall we?” he asked, and I nodded in return.
We were walking along the gravel path side by side. The Fox River had just come into view behind the trees, when Jaden turned to me.
“I’ll give you a minute.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled and glanced at the reflections on the river in the distance. I was anything but ready. He didn’t have to see this. “I won’t be long.”
“I’ll be waiting at the gate.” He touched my arm once in encouragement and walked back.
Without knowing how my feet had carried me there, I found myself standing in the center of the graveyard, under the willow. Its branches were the strange green-gold color of early spring. A new season was being put into place by Mother Nature. I knew it hadn’t touched me yet. All I felt was the cold emptiness that hadn’t left me since the day Adam had died.
It had become bearable, through all my friends it had become endurable; but the cuts in my soul had never really healed and the barbed wired hadn’t stopped tearing through my insides on a regular basis. I was incapable of love. I couldn’t just move on and fall in love again, the way I was supposed to. I was incapacitated by the loss, and a month or two or even three wouldn’t change that. Maybe not even an entire lifetime would be enough to make me forgive myself and to make me forget about the unique thing Adam and I had had.
I looked around. A light breeze made the branches of the willow wave around me, quietly. The stone angel was standing, as always, in silent beauty. I felt oppressed by it. I wasn’t in the mood for quiet peace. I was in the mood to scream, to fight, to hurt. I was in the mood for self-destruction. My inner pain was peaking inside me, and I felt incapable of forcing myself to calm down once more. I was sick of all this artificial sedateness. I wanted to let all the feelings rush through me—over and over again. I wanted to be sure Adam hadn’t been a dream. I wanted to feel, at least, what little of him remained with me. The wounds in my heart were bleeding anyway, every second of every day. There was no way I would force myself to ignore them—not even with my friends around me. Not even with other angels trying to keep the worst at bay.
A hand on my shoulder made me jump.
“Jaden!” I flinched from his touch.
His blond hair waved in the breeze above his young face, like the branches of the willow. His eyes were normal—not glowing in any way.
“I felt something. I don’t think it’s safe for you to be here.”
I shook my head at him, indicating that I was unwilling to turn around now that I had finally made it to the graveyard.
His face showed a little warmth as he stepped to my side, putting one arm around my shoulder. “Then at least let me stay with you.” He pulled me close to his side. The touch of his hand didn’t take the pain away.
“Do you see anything dangerous nearby?”
He held his breath for a second and I felt him tense beside me.
“Yes.”
I couldn’t help but mirror his tension.
“What is it?” I asked in little more than a whisper.
Jaden remained silent for another endlessly stretching second before he turned to me and bent down to whisper in my ear.
“It’s them.”
I froze in place. So, they had finally decided to come back for me. I had known this was inevitable, that it would come sooner or later; but as much as I had been aware of the danger, I still wasn’t prepared to face them, nonetheless. I wasn’t prepared, but I had to face them. I wanted to. I needed to. It probably was my one and only chance to look Adam’s murderers in the eyes.
“I’ll take us away.” Jaden put his other arm around my shoulders.
“No!” I almost shouted.
“But I can’t protect you here,” Jaden protested.
“I don’t want protection.” My mind was settled. I knew what I wanted. No life rather than the continuous pain from my wounded heart and soul.
Jaden didn’t get the chance to teleport us away when the first dark shapes stepped out of the shadows of the trees. They were too far away for me to recognize them. I heard Jaden inhale in shock. His eyes were wide open and focusing on one of the silhouettes.
“No,” he hissed, his face turning all dark with anger.
“What is it?” I whispered, trying to see what he saw, but my human eyes were too weak to follow his gaze to where he was looking.
Jaden took a quick step forwards, planting himself in front of me. I couldn’t see past him.
“Jaden.” I tore at his sleeve like a little girl. “Jaden, what the hell’s wrong?”
“Hell pretty much describes what’s up,” he said to me over his shoulder in a low voice.
“Good evening, Jaden, Claire,” a deadly cold voice sounded from the far end of the graveyard. I knew the sound of it. It was perfectly smooth, emotionless. My mind instantly drew up pictures of a man dressed in black with a blond ponytail.
“Volpert,” I whispered into Jaden’s back. His head moved an inch forward, as if he was nodding to himself.
“The one and only,” Volpert’s voice carried towards me.
Of course he could hear me across the graveyard. I shouldn’t be surprised by things like that anymore.
“Step aside, Jaden,” he continued, and I heard footsteps on the gravel path, moving closer to where we were standing under the willow. “We honestly don’t have any intention of hurting you...unless—”
Jaden snorted lowly. His shoulderblades moved with the sound like they had a mind of their own.
“I give you ten seconds,” Volpert informed us.
One. I knew he wouldn’t mind taking Jaden down first—two—if he gave him a reason. Three. I couldn’t let him die. Four. Adam had died—five—because of me—six—not this good person—seven—this angel—eight—this man, too. Nine—
I took a quick step to the side and several strides forwards, positioning myself slightly closer to the demon than Jaden was.
He looked exactly as I remembered him. His ponytail was quivering with the movements of his head, which followed my movements. His body was wrapped in a stylish black suit, too clean and sterile for the scene.
“So you value your guardian angel’s life more than your own?” An icy laugh accompanied the words as they escaped Volpert’s mouth.
“Claire, no!” Jaden didn’t whisper. His voice was both shocked and determined, his face still angry with worry creasing his forehead.
“I won’t let you get yourself killed,” I explained to him.
“I won’t let you sacrifice yourself,” he replied coldly.
“If you will honor me with you attention for a while...” Volpert interrupted our discussion with surreal politeness.
I looked to the ground, evading Jaden’s accusing eyes.
Volpert turned back, gesturing to one of the shadows behind him. “Come to me, my son.” He lifted one arm, virtually embracing the person moving towards him with hesitating steps. “It’s time for your revenge.”
The shadow moved closer, making practically no noise on the gravel. I watched him gliding to Volpert’s side in elegant strides.
“Take your time, son,” Volpert encouraged the black-dressed shadow.
It seemed like time was starting to move backwards and I couldn’t watch him coming closer anymore. I knew that my time had come, that my last minute had begun, that I could start counting down the seconds until he would kill me. I looked back down to the ground, examining the gravel to distract myself, to keep Jaden from sensing my hysteria, and started counting.
When I was down to eighteen and I was still standing, I finally decided to look up again. I wanted to face the person who would kill me, I wanted to know who would be the one bringing death to me. My eyes glided up and I froze, rooted to the spot, unable to move, to think, to breathe, to...
A pair of light green eyes was staring back at me, piercing and cold. I couldn’t blink to break the connection, however hard I tried. My heart was racing at a critical pace—I was positive it was about to break from the strain.
The black-dressed man took a few more steps towards me, his eyes never releasing mine.
“Finally,” he said in a voice I almost didn’t recognize—so much time had passed since I had last heard it, so many times had I imagined the sound of it speaking to me; how much had I longed for the sound of it.
“I’ve waited a long time to see you.” The voice was so cold, it sent shivers down my spine and made my hair stand up on my neck.
My mouth was hanging open, and I had no control over my body right now—I was caught in this moment of shock, petrified by the simple fact, that I saw a dead person standing in front of me. I had seen him die, I had seen him being buried, I had suffered through all the loss, all the grief—and yet, he was standing there, obviously alive, fixing me with his green eyes, his perfect features dead and cold, his handsome face expressionless, his gorgeous body tense and flexing for the strike.
Breathe, I told myself. I had to be hallucinating. Facing death was supposed to do such things to people.
I blinked several times, but he didn’t vanish. On the contrary—every time I reopened my eyes he seemed to have moved closer. I could see his features clearly now. They were set in hard lines, determined.
Jaden shifted behind me. I heard the gravel crunch under his feet as he moved.
“Tell your little pet-angel goodbye.” Adam’s voice penetrated my mind, my thoughts, my heart, like a dagger piercing through all the layers of myself. Before I could grasp the meaning of his words, he had closed the space between us in a few strides too fast for my eyes to see him move.
I stumbled back as he appeared right in front of me, his eyes unfocused, like he was looking through me. I had seen this gaze only once before—the evening he had died, before we had left the house, when he had told me he could see my soul. He had had an edge of greed in his eyes I had never seen before.
The way he was looking through me now was more intense. The greed wasn’t only an edge—it was dangerously pronounced, it was potent.
Adam lifted a hand to the height of my heart, the palm directed at me. “Goodbye, Claire.” He almost whispered icily with a cruel half-smile on his lips, his eyes refocusing on mine for a second.
“NO!” Jaden screamed from behind me. A second later, he was behind Adam, his arms at his throat.
Adam struggled in Jaden’s grip, growling wildly.
“Let go of him, angel, or I will kill you,” Volpert called from somewhere behind them.
“No,” I found my voice. “Please, don’t... Don’t kill him,” I said, without knowing whom I meant—Volpert kill Jaden or Jaden kill Adam.
I took a step back and inhaled deeply to steady myself. “Let him go, Jaden. He won’t hurt me.”
Jaden snorted darkly, tightening his grip on Adam, whose eyes were unfocused, still looking through me, vicious. “He will suck your soul out.”
“He won’t.” I shuddered as I recognized the unlikeliness of my words.
Jaden eyed me for a second, as if he was probing if I was being serious. I was.
But this single small second was enough for Volpert to sneak up on him and detach him from Adam. Now Jaden was struggling in Volpert’s grip. His face was angry, the fury directed at me.
“How can you be so naive?” he said flatly.
Volpert sneered at me over Jaden’s shoulder, talking to Jaden. “You know, first I wanted to kill you, but now I’m pretty sure I want to see you suffer a little before you die, and the best way to ensure your suffering, is making her suffer—” He nodded at me. “—to let her die slowly, painfully. How many of your fosterlings have you lost by now?” The demon stroked through Jaden’s blond hair, as if to comfort him. “Such an unlucky guardian you are—never been able to protect the ones you should.” He shook his head, played gloom in his face. “One more or less won’t matter, will it?”
All the while he talked, Volpert never took his eyes off me, like he was enjoying how I was standing there, petrified with fear.
“Go ahead, son,” Volpert said, directing his attention back to Adam, encouraging him, as he pulled the struggling angel in his grip further back, restraining him from any attempt to help me.
I saw Adam’s hand move up again. It came to a halt a few inches from my chest.
I didn’t know why he was standing there, alive. I had no clue how he could be with the demons, how he could have become one of the dark side; but there was no doubt he was determined to kill me—to suck out my soul. I had to do something. I had to try at least. If this really was Adam, the old Adam—my Adam—had to be somewhere in there, buried under layers of black, of dark, but still there somewhere.
I looked at his face. He looked like my Adam. His eyes were unfocused and the greedy expression in them was frightening. I felt something stab into my heart as I waited for him to refocus, to finally recognize it was me, his Claire, whom he was going to kill.
“Adam—” I whispered.
No reaction. The pain in my chest grew stronger. I felt like strings were being pulled from the center of my heart—stings which usually kept me together.
“It’s me—Claire.”
The strings were now curling around my whole heart, ripping it out slowly. I looked down, moaning in pain, expecting to see blood streaming from my chest, and my heart in Adam’s outstretched hand; but my heart seemed to have remained inside my body. The pain had to come from another source. Not my heart—my soul. He was sucking my soul from my body.
“Adam,” I panted in pain. My limbs started to shake from the strain and cold sweat was forming on my neck and forehead. “Adam—you’re hurting me.”
I heard Volpert’s evil laugh and Jaden’s gasp as they heard my hoarse, strained voice. The only one lacking a reaction was Adam, who was focusing on the strings he seemed to pull out of my body, straight through my heart, inflicting torturing pain on me. Instead of diminishing the ache, he was intensifying the hold on my soul.
My insides burned as the strings tore through them, further and further into the boundary areas of my body—so far it felt like they were piercing my skin from inside.
I screamed through clenched teeth as the pain reached my head.
“Adam,” I heard Jaden’s voice. It was velvety. “Do you remember, you were good once. You had wings—strong, white wings, just like me.”
“Don’t listen to him, Adam.” Volpert’s voice lured from somewhere outside my h
ead. I couldn’t tell exactly; with every second, my vision became more blurry and darker.
The strings were continuously ripping deep wounds into my already mangled heart. I couldn’t fight against it—I was too weak.
“Adam, listen to me—” Jaden again. “There was a time before you became this dark creature. You loved a girl back then, remember?”
“I don’t know love,” Adam said in a humorless tone.
“Yes, you do.” Jaden didn’t give up. “You loved a girl—” My body sank to the ground. I heard the noise of it hitting the gravel, but I couldn’t feel it over the pain that was racing through my system. I gasped for air, unable to breathe evenly. My lungs seemed to be tied up with the strings, being pulled against my ribs from inside. “—a beautiful girl.” Jaden’s voice was cautious. “Her name was Claire.”
I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand the pain much longer. My entire body screamed for me to give in and drift into the blackness that lay behind the agony. I couldn’t believe that the man I loved so much, whom I had lost so many times, and once forever, was the one who would end my life—my miserable life, since he had died. So, did it really matter it was him who brought death to me, that I would die at his hand? I still loved him, more than anything. And I felt more than blessed that I had seen him again. He had been my angel in life and he now would be my angel of death. Agony was the least thing I could pay for all the happy moments I had had with him, for the perfection of our love.
“You.... don’t h..have..... to t..take... my... soul—” I coughed between shivers and cold sweat, tears wetting my face. “—it has a..always... been... yours.” I panted the words in a mere whisper, feeling the energy leave my body. The pain had spread through all the layers of my system, the strings tearing at my muscles, my veins, my bones, my nerves... My arms were bracing me against the cold that came more from the inside than the outside, but they weren’t strong enough to hold me together—I was slowly falling apart. I knew I was about to slip away—it couldn’t be long now.
“I love you, Adam—” It was little more than a breath.
The black had almost enveloped me as I felt the pull on the strings fade a little. I gasped for air, unable to open my eyes or move my limbs. All I could do was lay there on the gravel like a puppet whose strings had been cut.
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