And then, suddenly the pain ceased a little, too, and it felt like the strings were starting to flick back into place. They raced back through my heart, my bones, my flesh, until they reached my skin.
It hurt as if they were tearing through fresh wounds, making my insides burn with pain all over again.
I heard myself moan. It was an unnatural sound—too far away to be real—and the touch of a hand on my forehead.
“What are you doing?” a voice screamed. “You are supposed to kill her.”
I heard a smashing sound and then another scream. All of it didn’t really matter to me. I sucked in fresh air in rhythmical gasps, trying to endure until the pain ceased or the black took away what was remaining of my consciousness.
I couldn’t tell how long it had been when I heard another loud smashing sound and then silence.
The hand was still on my forehead. It was wiping the sweat away with a light movement. The fingers were warm and tender. I was quite sure that I would look into Jaden’s golden eyes if I were able to reopen mine. How many times had he crouched beside my body, trying to take my pain away, comforting me with his touch.
I coughed in distress. If it was Jaden’s hand—where was Adam? Had Jaden killed him? Had this made him stop tearing my soul out?
“Jaden?” I pressed his name out between two coughs shaking my body. I was feeling hysteria creeping up in my system.
The weight of the hand vanished from my forehead, leaving space for new droplets of sweat. I blinked, searching for the familiar shape of my guardian angel, but I couldn’t see. My vision was almost blackened. The dark veil lifted so slowly, it was a long while before I could make out shapes against the night sky.
The first thing I saw was a shadow hovering over me. It was the shape of a man crouching beside me and bending over my face.
“Jaden,” I whispered, relieved.
“No,” the shadow whispered back.
I blinked again, trying to regain control over my eyesight. After a few more seconds, I was able to see some brighter specks in the sky and a blurry, pale yellow disk. I was finally able to make out a mane of black against pale skin, a pair of tightened light eyes, a line of white behind slightly parted lips.
The face staring down on me was torn. His eyebrows were pulling together in a frown, his eyes were focused on mine, but the greed was obviously still there in the light green of his irises, which were looking a lot more gray than green in the shadow of the night.
“Adam,” I breathed.
His eyes widened and I could see the recognition spread on his face.
“Claire.”
The whisper came from his mouth in a gust, fervent, his eyes burning into mine, all the evil, all the greed gone from them within a fraction of a second. He was so close that the air from his lips touched my face in a warm breeze.
I inhaled greedily, shuddering as I tasted his scent. It was like no time had passed at all. I could feel my body respond to him without hesitation, without logic, without reason. Every inch of me was screaming for him, ignoring the ache he had caused me a minute ago. It was against nature to love somebody so irrationally, so entirely, so unconditionally.
He was alive—for some reason I didn’t understand, he was alive, crouching over me, his face only inches away. He just had to sense what I was feeling, it was so potently streaming through me, setting me on fire. I was sure Jaden would feel it, even when he was much farther away—wasn’t he?
I tore my eyes away from Adam, reluctantly, searching my surroundings for the person I had gotten so used to in the past months, the one who had kept me alive over and over again, the one who had protected my sanity.
A bunch of golden hair was visible too far away, the face under it turned to the ground.
“Jaden!” Cold panic returned to my body. I turned my head to get a better view of the scenery.
Jaden was lying on the ground, motionless. The way he lay there made me want to run and help him. He looked vulnerable—the strong guardian, who now needed my help for once. But I also wanted to stay in the spot, soaking up what time I had before Adam vanished from my life again.
Before I could consciously decide what part of me should win, I turned back to Adam. I found myself staring into transparent air. The space that had been filled with his flesh and bones a second ago was empty now.
My head snapped back to Jaden, fearing he would have vanished, too; but he was still lying there, unchanged in his position.
I managed to get to my feet and look around. Volpert was gone, too. We were alone again. Jaden and I.
My feet automatically moved toward my guardian angel. The way his body was still on the ground made me anticipate the worst.
“Jaden,” I tried.
No answer.
I slowly made my way toward him, my legs shaking and unstable.
“Please wake up.” I let myself sink to the ground next to his head, ignoring the gravel biting into my knees. My hand reached out to touch his hair. It moved slightly in the wind and I could see Jaden’s face.
There was a streak of blood running from his hairline down to his chin. The skin beneath it seemed to have sealed back together, leaving the red line as the only sign of the cut.
I brushed my fingers over his cheek. “Jaden.” It was a whisper.
His eyelids fluttered for a second and then revealed the golden orbs I had become so used to looking at.
“Are you ok?” I asked, my eyes wandering up and down his shape to check for unnatural angles of his limbs. Everything looked fine.
“Give me a moment,” Jaden rasped.
I watched him close and reopen his eyes several times. Then he lifted his head, making a face as his hands pushed against the gravel.
“Are you in pain? How bad is it?” I watched him, feeling helpless. “Should I get help?” I was aware that any doctor would have noticed instantly there was something wrong with the way this man was healing. What a stupid thing to ask.
“I am fine,” he breathed, “just give me a minute.”
I sat back on my feet, relieved, and focused on my heart rate.
Not more than a few seconds had passed when Jaden finally propped himself up with his arms and rolled to the side. He looked up at my face, his expression grim.
“Claire, I am so sorry.” His eyes were apologetic. “I should have known, I should have anticipated...”
“It’s not your fault.” What had he done wrong? I had wanted to come to the graveyard. I had persuaded him that it was safe. That I needed to come here to stay sane.
We looked at each other for a brief moment.
“What just happened, Jaden?” I could feel moist warmth on my cheeks. “How can he be alive?” I couldn’t speak the name.
Jaden shook his head. “I have never seen anything like it.” His expression became hard. “No angel has ever survived a killing strike of a demon...”
“I was there,” I interrupted. “We buried him, Jaden. I was there at the funeral.” What had just happened was beyond comprehension.
“I know.” Jaden sat up and wrapped one arm around me. “I don’t know what it means. Was it even Adam...?”
My heart sank at his words. It was Adam. It had to be. How else could there have been the recognition in his eyes? How else could I have felt the way I had, the moment he had spoken my name?
“We need to get away from here,” Jaden urged. His face all compassionate with worry creasing his forehead. His second hand reached around me and pulled me to him. A second later, the ground under my legs vanished.
Dark Half
I was lying on the Gallagers’ couch, head on the armrest. Jenna was sitting on the floor beside me. Her lovely face showed concern.
After the first shock had vanished, my body had begun to feel sore all over. Each little part which had been touched in the process of ripping my soul from me was hurting now. It was the best pain I had felt in ages. It meant that I at least still had a soul. A soul, which was very much attached to
Adam. A soul which was throwing tiny flashes of hope at me.
“Even if it was him...,” Chris started for the hundredth time.
“But how is it possible?” Jaden asked again.
They were both sitting in armchairs, staring at the fireplace. The low orange light made everything even more surreal.
“He was in that coffin, at the funeral,” Jenna said, her eyes not leaving my face. “I saw it. I was there when they closed it.”
I shuddered. The old wound in my heart claimed my attention at once. I could smell the rain and the wet earth at the thought of the funeral.
“Demons can’t shape-shift, can they?” It was Ben. He had joined us as soon as he had heard Jaden’s voice at the front door.
Jaden shook his head. “I have never heard of it. And I have nine-hundred years of experience.”
“So, assuming it was really him…,” Ben started.
“It was him.” I yanked myself up to a sitting position, anger rising up in my throat. “It was him.” This time it sounded a little calmer.
“I agree,” Jaden supported my outburst. “Just different.”
All heads turned towards him.
“He didn’t have a heartbeat, for instance.”
Of course he would have noticed something like that.
“Demons don’t have a heartbeat,” he continued. “At least the real ones don’t—the pure lines. Half-demons do. They are like half-angels. One of their parents is human.”
I gaped at him. What was he saying exactly?
“They can’t resurrect the dead,” Jenna threw into the guessing.
“But how is it possible?” Chris stood up and walked around to stand beside Jenna. He looked down on my face. I wondered what he found there. “How can he have become one of them?”
Jaden looked at each one of us for a second—one after the other. Eventually his gaze fell on Chris. “Unless he’s bound by an evil spell... I need some time.” He looked at the Gallagers. “Make sure Claire is safe. Don’t let her out of sight for even a second.”
Then he turned to me.
“I’ll be gone for a short while. Don’t do anything stupid.”
Without another word, Jaden disappeared into thin air, leaving the rest of us wondering.
Chris slowly sank into an armchair. Jenna paced in front of the window, lost in thought.
I leaned back on the couch and found Ben looking at me from the chair beside me. His features had questions written all over them. None of them I had the answer to.
I closed my eyes and shut out the world. I knew what I had seen. It had been Adam. My Adam. Even though he had been hurting me, there had been a moment of clarity where he had seemed to have recognized me. The only real question I had was, why I wasn’t with him right now.
He tried to kill you, the voice in my head commented. Right.
My head was killing me. I took a deep breath and got to my feet. I needed to get away from everything.
“Where do you think you’re going.” Jenna was at my side in an instant.
“I need some fresh air.” My head was spinning from the events.
She put her arm around my waist and helped me to the door.
“Let’s go out back.”
Jenna led me somewhere I had never been at the Gallagers’, the back garden.
When she opened the heavy wooden door, the evening light painted colorful patterns through the ornate glass inlays. We stepped outside and a view of peace spread before us.
My eyes skimmed the perfectly-cut hedge that was surrounding geometrically arranged flowerbeds. They stopped at a bush which had little red blossoms sticking out in every direction. It was an untamed element in an environment of perfect domestication. It was like an impurity to a world of perfection. I could relate to the shrewd branches and the fragile flower petals.
I let myself sink onto a carved bench and stretched my legs into the short grass.
Antonio trotted toward us from the other end of the garden and curled up at my feet. I patted his head absently.
“This must be extremely difficult for you, Jenna.”
She gave me a meaningful look.
“But it’s worse for Chris. I can’t even imagine how he must be feeling.”
“Why don’t you go check on him?” I suggested. “I’m sure he needs you more than I do.”
Jenna hesitated.
“I’ll send Ben, so you’re not alone.”
I nodded, not really caring whether or not anyone was there with me. My brain was already working on ideas how to find Adam.
“Claire?” Ben sat down beside me, not more than a second after Jenna disappeared.
“How can he be alive, Ben?” I asked. “How can he be alive and not come to find me?”
Ben didn’t respond.
“It was as if he had never known me. The Adam I knew would have never hurt me—ever. He must be under their influence. It’s impossible that he did this out of free will. If I could see him. If I could talk to him...”
My reasoning sounded desperate, but Ben didn’t comment on it. Instead he wrapped an arm around me.
“I am sorry.”
We sat there in silence for a while, and watched the garden fall into twilight until the deep red of the flowers was the only color left.
I woke up to the sound of bird songs and the smell of flowers. Sunlight was tickling my cheeks. I opened my eyes to a gentle voice whispering my name and looked at the wall of the Gallagers’ guest room
“Claire.”
It sounded so much like Adam.
I jumped at the thought and looked around.
Ben was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands folded in his lap, looking down at me.
I blinked twice. Ben—not Adam.
I waited for the pain to set in at the thought of Adam’s name, but it didn’t.
Instead, hundreds of images washed up in my mind.
It had been a long night. After hours of discussing Adam’s resurrection with the Gallagers after dinner, I had fallen asleep on the couch in their living room.
Ben must have carried me upstairs and laid me down in bed. I was wrapped in the covers but fully dressed underneath.
I slowly let the knowledge settle in and went from ecstatic to depressed several times, remembering that Adam was alive—and that he had tried to kill me.
Ben was eyeing me cautiously. Of course he could feel what I felt.
“What time is it?” I turned to him as the expression on his face became worried.
“Almost noon,” he answered without moving.
“I’ve got school today.” I almost fell over as I jumped out of bed.
“Relax...” Ben got to his feet and caught me by my shoulders. “Jenna called the school this morning to let them know you are not feeling well and won’t be coming in today.”
“Thank God,” I exhaled, focusing. “I can’t afford another unexcused absence.”
Ben grinned for a moment before he led me to the bathroom door.
“Get ready,” he gently pushed me over the threshold. “We have tons to discuss.”
Jenna was playing with the seam of her dress when we entered the dining room. She looked up, her expression a mixture of relief and worry.
Ben sat down next to Jenna while I took a seat on the other side of the table.
“Where is Chris?” I asked into the silence.
“He is meditating in the library,” Jenna said and took a sip of coffee.
“Again,” I wondered. “Has he made any progress?”
“Well, nothing substantial, he says. Just a tickle between the shoulder blades.”
I was surprised. After Liz’ suggestions, Chris had started to meditate regularly. He hadn’t felt anything until recently—a tickle in his palms. A tickle between his shoulder blades would mean huge progress.
“That’s great news,” I let her know how I felt about it.
“I think so, too.” She smiled her motherly smile at me.
“Do you
think it has anything to do with yesterday?” Ben joined our conversation.
I held my breath.
“It is possible,” Jenna replied. “Knowing that his son is alive has given Chris new hope.”
I understood. Knowing Adam still existed out there gave me hope, too. None of us had been able to fully process the meaning of his reappearance.
How could he be alive? Why didn’t he remember me? Why was he running with Volpert? Was he a demon?
“One thing—” Jenna said. “If they attack openly like this, we need to be stronger than ever.” She looked at me intensely. “Chris needs to get his powers back. We need him. And he needs you.”
Ben watched her with a worried face.
“Don’t you think it’s a little much after yesterday—?”
I could see Jenna struggle. She wanted what was best for Chris and she wanted what was best for me. This time those two were conflicting each other.
“I’ll join him now.” I took the decision away from either of them.
Jenna nodded gratefully and Ben jumped up from his chair when I stood up to leave for the library.
“Call if you need anything,” he offered helplessly.
“Thanks.” I was on my way before it could get any more awkward.
I could see in Ben’s eyes, that he was suffering. He knew that all his chances had disappeared the second I had laid eyes on Adam.
I found Chris on the library floor, cross-legged. He opened his eyes when he heard me come in. His face was hopeful.
“If he’s alive, that means we both could heal.”
His words made sense. I wanted it to be true, but there was something cautioning me not to believe. Adam had hurt me. He had tried to kill me. If he was alive, it was a very different version of the Adam I had fallen in love with.
“Shall we?”
We both closed our eyes and started breathing deeply. My presence meant more of Adam’s soul in one room, and that meant a higher chance for Chris to succeed.
Knowing I would help by my mere presence, I focused on my own agenda. It had worked before—meditating to conjure up a vision of Adam—but today was an instant flash of his face.
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