The Monkey Theory

by Sfurti Sahare

  The exercise routine for that day was missed.

  The pattern had been broken.

  Exercising stopped, slacking began.

  Healthy eating stopped, binging on junk began.

  Saving stopped, spending began.

  Studying stopped, YouTubeing began!

  The Human Monkey soon grew tired of his poor results and poor habits. Day after day, his resolve kept slipping. The P-Monkey offered such tough competition that the Human Monkey could not handle it. The feeling worsened each passing day and the Human Monkey began to hate himself. Much as he wanted to come out of the situation, he just could not find a long-lasting solution.

  The Human Monkey was stressed, depressed, shattered and lonely. Parents and teachers humiliated the Human Monkey for his poor performance but he was not able to figure a way out. On one such depressing day, the Human Monkey sat alone in the park thinking about the scolding he had received from teachers for not having completed assignments on time. He cried out in pain, ‘God, what should I do? In spite of having the desire to perform well, I am not able to! I think I am just useless! I can’t do anything good! I really want to quit, I can’t seem to perform and I am just so bad at everything! Show me the way, God, to beat my laziness.’

  There was no voice from the skies. Only silence.

  This is not an unusual story. How many times has it happened to you?

  You decided on something, did it for few days or weeks and then things slipped and you could not make things whole again. Can you think of all the possible resolutions you made? Just imagine where you would have been today if those resolutions had actually stayed with you.

  Visiting the palace of the P-Monkey had reminded the Human Monkey about everything that was wrong. But he still didn’t know how to set things right. Was there no hope at all?

  The Eagle of Wisdom

  The Eagle of Wisdom had been watching the Human Monkey the whole time. The pain, frustration, desire to perform, dissatisfaction due to under performance, everything. Soon enough, the Human Monkey was at the park again crying for help. The Eagle of Wisdom finally decided to show up.

  The Eagle of Wisdom is mighty in size and majestic in disposition. His feathers are preened to perfection. The aristocratic air about the way the eagle flapped his wings was like a warning to the other petty creatures about not to mess with him. He is kind and composed, poignant and dignified and has an easy air around him even as he appears totally in command. His eyes are wise yet soft. There is an air of assurance he carries with ease. He is known for his alertness, sharp observations and knowledge.

  He sat beside the Human Monkey and introduced himself.

  ‘Hi, I am the Eagle of Wisdom. I heard you crying from a distance. What’s the matter?’

  The poor Human Monkey started to tell him the whole story. The eagle listened quietly. Once he sensed that the story had been completed, he offered the wisdom that he had gathered over the years.

  ‘I have seen people spoiling their careers, their relationships and their health because of procrastination. Performers underperform! The capable lose! The deserving lose out!

  ‘I don’t want you to be yet another victim. You are very keen to change and improve. I have been observing you for the past many days and that’s why I thought I’d help you out. To deal with the P-Monkey, you need to be really patient and consistent.

  ‘The P-Monkey loves to keep you in the Grey Zone of Underperformance. In this zone, a person’s oxygen is self-hatred and carbon dioxide is guilt,’ said the Eagle of Wisdom.

  ‘What is the Grey Zone of Underperformance?’ asked the Human Monkey.

  ‘It is a land where the entire community of procrastinators live. The soldiers here want to take over your mind and hence keep manipulating you. There are only two types of people they can’t handle and they are only afraid of courageous people. Before I tell you more about this, tell me, why do you give the P-Monkey the opportunity to attack you?’ replied the Eagle.

  ‘How am I giving the P-Monkey an opportunity? And what are the two types of people that he can’t handle?’ asked the confused Human Monkey.

  ‘Look at your dirty socks. Clearly, cleanliness is not your strength. The P-Monkey finds it really tough to be with ultra-clean people. People who keep their wardrobes in order, their beds made and their tables clean, tend to be in control of themselves. The P-Monkey can’t handle these kind of people. This is the first type. He loves to be with unhygienic and indisciplined people.

  ‘First, clear the mess at home and then I will help you compete with him and defeat his entire army. Let’s meet tomorrow at 8 a.m. Don’t forget to bring your schedule of the last three days.’

  The Human Monkey felt really happy. His goal appeared closer now. At home, the Human Monkey cleaned up his room, organised his wardrobe, washed his dirty clothes and socks and felt at peace. The next morning, he got up early, dedicated time to exercise and got ready to meet the Eagle. But he was delayed by ten seconds.

  The Human Monkey was quite excited to tell the Eagle of Wisdom everything. But before he could, the Eagle asked, ‘Why are you late? The fact that you don’t value your ten seconds is a clear message to your P-Monkey that he can waste all the time if wants. You need to understand that you can’t beat him unless you start improving on small things. For instance, your bag still looks quite messy. Clean it up. Start cleaning up all of the small things. This really irritates him. When you wake up, make your bed immediately. It’s early in the day and the P-Monkey can’t attack that early.’

  The Eagle of Wisdom then gave the Human Monkey a list:

  Read 15 minutes before sleeping!

  Make a To-Do list and keep it in your pocket everyday!

  Set 40 minute targets and allow yourself a 2 minute break, but make sure the P-Monkey doesn’t fool you in those 2 minutes. If he tries to attack, tell yourself, it’s a trap! TRAP! TRAP! TRAP!

  Clean your room every day or every alternate day.

  Remember to consume three to four litres of water a day to keep your energy levels up!

  Don’t touch your phone 10000 times in an hour!

  Don’t quickly gravitate to the new notification when you get on the phone. Finish your task and check the notification.

  Try to cut down on junk food!

  Never leave things for tomorrow. Remember the P-Monkey loves tomorrows!

  The Eagle continued, ‘These are very simple things in life which give a very loud and clear message to the P-Monkey that discipline is your highest priority. Follow this for a week and I will teach you a few tricks to enter the Colour Zone of Performance.’

  The Human Monkey kept to a strict schedule for a week and began to feel the difference. But throughout he was worried and scared that the P-Monkey would return. Regardless, he made sure he followed whatever he had learnt and was excited about being introduced to the Colour Zone of Performance.

  In between, the P-Monkey did try to make a comeback. But this time, the Human Monkey was a lot smarter and could handle that! Whenever the P-Monkey tried to attack, the Human Monkey pulled out the to-do list and began executing the next task on the list. And the P-Monkey beat a hasty retreat.

  After two weeks, the Human Monkey and the Eagle of Wisdom met again at the same spot.

  ‘So, did you follow all that was asked of you?’ asked the Eagle.

  ‘Yes,’ the Human Monkey replied.

  ‘How are you feeling now?’ asked the Eagle.

  ‘I feel in control. I think I can set any goal and plan on how to reach it. I have started to believe in myself,’ said the happy Human Monkey.

  ‘So that’s the Colour Zone of Performance for you. This is where you should try to stay the most. The Colour Zone of Performance is the area where you will be dominant! You will be the driver!

  ‘This zone is called the Colour Zone because of its freshness, richness and liveliness. Those who spend most of their time in this zone can produce extraordinary results and develop amazing relationships.
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  ‘In the Colour Zone, the air is filled with self-confidence. The land is fertile enough to convert the mediocre into the strong. The clouds are made up of achievements. And the water is filled with clarity.

  ‘On the other hand, in the Grey Zone, the air is filled with anxiety. The land is infertile and life is a struggle. The clouds are made up of guilt. And the water is filled with muddy goals.

  ‘High performers spend most of their time in the Colour Zone and are witness to the fruit of their efforts. They energise themselves by taking ample breaks but are in full control of their P-Monkey. A peak performer knows how to tame the P-Monkey. Whenever the P-Monkey seeks leisure, they know how to handle him.

  ‘Who likes to practise the same dialogue a hundred times a day? Not many. But that’s exactly what successful actors do! Who likes to practice a single stroke a hundred times a day? But, that’s what successful cricketers do! Who likes to solve the same math problem again and again? But, that’s what successful IITians do!

  ‘They know how to control their P-Monkey. They know how to make the monkey work for them rather than make themselves slaves to the monkey.

  ‘Life is really short. If you are twenty-five today, then, considering that the average life span of human beings is about seventy years, you only have around 16,425 days left.

  ‘Do you want to spend the rest of your life just roller-coastering on your Facebook feed or in taking that perfect selfie?

  ‘No, life has a purpose. Life has to have a meaning. Procrastination not only kills your time, but also kills your best performance.

  ‘What’s the second category of people that the P-Monkey cannot deal with?’ asked the Human Monkey in curiosity.

  ‘The second category of people are people with vision. People who can see the influence of the present on their future. People who can connect their present selves to their future selves. You should understand how this present hustle will secure your future or how this present comfort will make your future insecure!

  ‘So, let’s look at some actual ways that will help tame the monkey. Let’s learn the process of transition from the Grey Zone to the Colour Zone. To begin with, focus on cleanliness and learn to value time.’

  Soon, the Human Monkey started to see some great results in life. He was able to allocate time to studies, presentation skills, communication skills and writing and even to social media. He kept track of time and reduced wastage of time.

  Entering the Colour Zone of Performance

  The next week, the Human Monkey met the Eagle of Wisdom again. This time he was focused and ready with a to-do list. The Eagle taught the Human Monkey the following tricks.

  1. Ask for details

  Exams were coming up in the next semester and the Human Monkey wanted to tame the P-Monkey before that. The Eagle of Wisdom taught him a few lessons. Let’s see how the Human Monkey trapped the P-Monkey.

  Human Monkey: Next year, we have to apply for the GRE!

  P- Monkey: Oh … yeah!

  Human Monkey: So, we will study hard.

  P-Monkey: Yes, you must start studying after the first of August, once your mid-semester exams are done.

  Human Monkey: Hmm okay. But when?

  P-Monkey: I told you. 1 August is the date.

  Human Monkey: Should I pay the deposit fee of Rs 1000 to the library so that we can study there for three hours after college every day?

  (Now the P-Monkey starts to feel the pressure!)

  P-Monkey: Why the hell do you want to spend Rs 1000 to study? Why waste money?

  (He wasn’t actually bothered about wasting money, he just didn’t want to study every day and get trapped.)

  Human Monkey: How about you spending Rs 8000 on that stupid video game?

  P-Monkey: Hmm … I regret that!

  Human Monkey: So, from Monday the 1st, we will study in the library from 5.30 to 8.30 every evening. This schedule will continue for three months. Have a great time! Bye!

  Trap it!

  Commit to things such that you cannot back out. Every human being loves to relax. But it’s all about how we can handle the internal battle between the urge to work and the urge to just remain in the comfort zone.

  Here, the technique used was to commit to something since there was a possibility of procrastination. Just schedule it and declare it! Then you cannot back out. This is how you can enter the Colour Zone. This is how you can know and find your best self.

  The P-Monkey loves planning for tomorrow. He loves daydreaming and hopes for everything to just happen. But when he plans, the P-Monkey makes vague noises. For example, if you want to learn Java, he will tell you, ‘We will take up learning the language from January to March.’ You will assume that this will definitely happen, but that is where you are fooled. You need to ask him for details. You need to block the dates. Under the influence of dedicated time and pressure, the P-Monkey loses his power.

  So when this monkey tells you that he will get up and start exercising tomorrow, ask for a specific time. Better still, you decide the time. Tell him that you will hit the gym at 7.20 a.m. sharp. Else, the daydreaming and planning that do not take any effort will continue and it will always seem like you are on the verge of something without actually achieving anything.

  2. Burn the monkey’s bridges

  Declare it in front of the world. The moment something is declared, the Fear Monkey makes sure that the P-Monkey starts work to save itself from public embarrassment. I wanted to write my first book and so I declared on Facebook that my first book on M.S. Dhoni would be out in the next six months. Now, by hook or crook, I had to do it. This is how burning bridges worked for me. This is how I didn’t allow my P-Monkey to interfere.

  Declare it!

  Declare that you’re going to lose weight. Declare that you’re going to crack the GRE. Declare that you’re going to do what you want to do! Have the guts, have the will.

  Get … SET … GO!

  3. Make your enemy list

  What distracts you? Identify those factors. For example:

  Facebook Whatsapp/Snapchat/Instagram notifications

  Worrying how you look in tagged pictures

  A new web series

  Assuming that you will turn over a new leaf ‘tomorrow’ and fooling yourself

  Yes, make a list of things that distract you. And whenever you find yourselves doing these things … become aware and get back on track.

  The moment you detect the presence of the P-Monkey and act against him, you will start working wonders.

  Make a ‘Stop Doing’ list!

  Now whenever you start doing any of these things, tell yourself it’s the P-Monkey at work. Merely reminding yourself throughout the day can eliminate the presence of the P-Monkey.

  4. Oh … what am I doing?

  While studying, you sometimes find yourself getting lost in the deadly world of your cell phone. That’s when you need to realise that this time was dedicated for studies or other important work. Ask yourself the question, ‘Oh … what am I doing?’ Your focus is likely to come back.

  It can apply to eating habits as well. If you have decided to stay off junk food and friends compel you to indulge for just a bit, the P-Monkey starts to get excited. He is likely to prompt you to eat more. Ask yourself this question then.

  5. Reverse engineering

  Start becoming a person of vision. A person who can visualise their future. A person who sees the connection between their present and future selves.

  Imagine your future self who is the result of procrastination and indiscipline. You definitely do not want to be that person. Remind yourself of the consequences of not finishing work on time. Imagine maintaining the same procrastinating attitude and ask yourself where you will be a year from today.

  Whenever you find yourself losing focus, just think about your favourite celebrity or any other successful person and ask yourself, ‘Is this the way champions are made?’

  The most important thing is that you should realise
the pain of procrastination. You should realise how damaging it is for you. You should realise what you will lose if you don’t act in time.

  I ask myself these questions often:

  What will I lose if I don’t exercise every day?

  What will I lose if I don’t stop eating junk food?

  What will I lose if I keep wasting my time on something useless?

  6. One more try! Can I do it now?

  Just imagine how things will be if you don’t procrastinate for an entire year.

  The next time you feel like you are tired and want to postpone that final push or feel you can’t stretch for another mile, just calmly ask yourself, ‘Can I try one more time?’ This is how champions push themselves, this is how your work appetite grows and this is how you get into the habit of finishing, no matter what.

  A day is exclusive. It never questions and never returns. How about making each day really productive? This will not only keep you away from garbage but will also satisfy your soul by taking you to the peak.

  7. ‘He wants temporary pleasure and permanent pain.’

  Next time you fall back in love with your blanket even after the alarm rings, just tell yourself, ‘The P-Monkey wants to give me temporary pleasure and permanent pain. Am I willing to pay the price?’

  Let’s just get up and do it!

  8. Just fool him!

  Tell him if you are allowed to work now, he will get the complete Sunday to watch his favourite Game of Thrones !

  Just start getting rid of him at that moment! And start looking for the purple colour around you.

  There is an island where this monkey loses his power: the Purple Island.

  Read on. You will find it soon.

  Remember:

  We all want to win, but procrastination stops us.

  Stop performing in the Grey Zone. You will not reach your peak potential.