Chasing a Familiar Shadow

by Aman Gupta

“Ah yes, the angel who’s known for her people skills,” joked Jay.

  “You’re right. Don’t get her,” said Brianca.

  “Anyways, see you tomorrow,” said Jay.

  “You’re not coming over tonight? Sam would blame me for it,” said Brianca.

  “I hope so,” said Jay, walking away.

  “You’re evil, Jay Miller,” smiled Brianca.

  “Hope you got your prescription filled,” said Jay, out loud.

  “There isn’t enough aspirin in the world,” she said back.

  He smiled and left, walking down the corridor before showing his athleticism in a parkour display by jumping off the first floor to a nearby bench in the park.

  Brianca reached her dorm room on the 3rd floor and saw Sam working on her laptop.

  “Hey,” said Brianca as she entered the room and closed the door.

  “Hey. Where’s Jay?” asked Sam, focused on the laptop’s screen.

  “He didn’t come,” said Brianca.

  “Why?” asked Sam, looking at her.

  “Before you get mad, he’s just nervous about tomorrow. I never should’ve gotten him in the student council. I just thought all three of us would have so much fun together. But you got yourself kicked from the council on the first day,” said Brianca.

  “Next time you want us to spend time together, perhaps you should slit our wrists before getting us on the council. Bunch of stupid people doing senseless things,” said Sam.

  “I know. By the way, what are you working on? Session hasn’t even started yet,” said Brianca.

  “Nothing. Just preparing my portfolio. I really want to join Verati,” said Sam.

  “Oh my god, did Victor Daulton offer you a job?” asked Brianca, excited.

  “Not per se. But he mentioned it in passing,” said Sam, glancing at Brianca for a second.

  “Oh, I’m so happy for you,” said Brianca.

  Sam smiled.

  “I can’t wait to work at Verati,” said Sam. “Don’t tell Jay, though. I’ll tell him myself when I get the letter in my hand.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I understand,” said Brianca.

  Brianca gave Sam a side hug.

  The next day, Sam showed up to help Jay, who was spending his time working the registration desk as well as interacting with the parents moving around in the corridors. The sky was bright and sunny. Jay was sitting at the only spot with shade, due to a Banyan tree a few yards away. The area brought an unnecessary crowd with it, especially the parents and their kids without a hat.

  “Hey,” said Sam, after making her way through the crowd.

  “Hey,” said Jay, while he was sitting alone at the registration desk, listening to people’s private conversations.

  “Thought I’d help,” said Sam.

  “Oh, thank God. Grab a seat,” said Jay.

  Sam smiled.

  They spent the next hour talking to the parents and students who showed up. Jay didn’t go to the corridors to assist the parents standing there for an entire hour, which almost caused a minor incident when two parents got involved in a fist fight.

  Jay called Brianca and asked her to send one of the students to work at the registration desk or the corridor. But she told him that everyone was occupied inside the building.

  Jay was forced to resume his earlier practice of oscillating between the desk and the corridors’ entrance a hundred meters away.

  Sam went away for a break, asking Jay to stay put at the registration desk. A couple of minutes later, a woman showed up at the desk.

  “Hi, are you a student or a parent?” asked Jay.

  “A parent. Do I look young enough to be a student?” smiled the woman.

  “Depends. Is that your husband?” asked Jay, pointing to a muscular man standing a few feet away, talking on his phone.

  “No,” said the woman.

  “Then yes,” said Jay.

  She smiled.

  “Aren’t you the charming one?!” said the woman.

  “To be honest, that’s the first time it didn’t work,” said Jay.

  “How so?” asked the woman.

  “Most parents would get offended with this little flirtation, and would quickly go through with the process, leaving me alone,” smiled Jay.

  “Well, I’m used to it,” said the woman.

  “Aren’t you the humble one?!” said Jay.

  “You’re funny. One of my daughters is like that. Funny and smart,” said the woman.

  “So, I take it you’re a parent. Is the said daughter the one joining us today?” said Jay, grabbing the file of female students.

  “No, not her. Her older sister,” said the woman.

  “Okay. What’s your name?” asked Jay, grabbing a pen.

  “Belinda,” said the woman.

  “And your daughter’s name?” asked Jay as he grabbed a blank registration form and started filling it.

  Before she could speak, she got interrupted by a girl with red frizzy hair and brown eyes, wearing a black top and skinny jeans. Jay couldn’t help but smile at what was written on her top.

  ‘Stop asking the government for your rights’

  “Mom, what’s taking so long?” asked the girl.

  “Sorry, dear. I was just talking to this guy. I don’t know his name. What’s your name?” asked Belinda.

  “Not important. His job is to take down your details, not the other way around,” said the girl.

  “Hattie, you’re being rude,” whispered Belinda.

  “I’m not. It’s called being professional,” said the girl. “Move over. I’ll register.”

  “Hattie,” mumbled Belinda before Jay interrupted.

  “It’s fine,” said Jay.

  “See. He’s fine with it. Now please take care of the red idiot back there before she creates a scene. She wouldn’t stop crying. I’m just getting into college, not abandoning you guys,” said the girl.

  Jay looked around but Hattie blocked his view.

  “Mind your business,” she said.

  “Sorry,” he replied, putting his head down.

  She grabbed the pen that Jay was holding, when he tried to give her a spare pen from the stationary box on the table. She filled the form in a hurry and gave it to Jay. She threw the pen on the table, but it bounced off and went deep into the bushes in the lawn behind Jay, almost ten feet below the ground.

  “Sorry,” she said after pausing for a few seconds.

  Jay looked at her face, trying to read her.

  “No, you’re not. But no problem,” said Jay.

  She walked away with her mother and her younger sister, after making an angry face.

  Sam showed up a few seconds later. Jay asked her to sit, while he jumped down into the lawn to search for his lucky pen that was gifted to him by his sister.

  “What happened?” asked Sam.

  “This white girl just threw my sister’s pen,” said Jay.

  “Why?” asked Sam.

  “I don’t know. Maybe she’s racist,” joked Jay.

  She smiled and shook her head.

  While turning into the corridor, Hattie glanced back at the registration desk and saw Sam sitting there. She had calmed herself down and felt bad about her interaction with Jay.

  She asked her mother and sister to wait while she hurtled towards the desk.

  “Hi, how can I help you?” smiled Sam. Her face hurt whenever she gave out a smile that she didn’t intend to.

  “Hi, I was here earlier. Someone else was just sitting here,” said Hattie.

  “Yeah, he’ll be right back. Did you forget something?” asked Sam.

  “No, I think I was rude to him. So I came over to apologize,” said Hattie.

  “Don’t bother. He probably doesn’t care. Nothing personal, it’s just how he is,” said Sam, smiling. “The next slot of the orientation is about to start. You should probably head inside.”

  “I know. When he comes, could you tell him I’m sorry?” said Hattie.

  “Sure. A
s soon as he comes back after finding his lucky pen,” said Sam.

  “Pen?” asked Hattie.

  “Yeah, some racist girl threw away a pen that his dead sister gave him. People are just so insensitive these days,” said Sam.

  Hattie faked a smile and walked away. She couldn’t react at Sam’s insensitivity about her friend’s personal loss.

  She joined her mother and sister and went inside the hall for the orientation program.

  In the evening, several hours later, Jay was resting on the balustrade leaning his back against the concrete pillar. It was a tiring day for him. He was waiting for Sam and Brianca to show up so that they could leave together. His eyes were closed, his mind was silent, and a mild wind was blowing his hair. He could hear the commotion in the corridor as he realized that the final orientation session for the day was over.

  He would listen to the footsteps of the parents and the new students, almost as if they were talking to him. Some footsteps sounded happy, while others sounded disappointed. He would smile whenever he heard a disappointed footstep.

  He heard loud voices approaching the pillar from behind. He recognized the voices. He thought of leaving to give them some space, but it was too good a place to let go off in the crowded corridor. He looked at his watch every other second, impatiently.

  “Hattie, are you sure you want to join here? You got into a lot of good colleges. This is too far, and you didn’t even get into your favorite course here,” said Belinda.

  “Mom, I’m sure. I promise I won’t dropout again. And Emma, please stop crying,” said Hattie.

  Belinda stepped a little back and could see Jay sitting a foot away, on her right. He smiled when she saw him.

  Belinda smiled back.

  Hattie was hugging her sister behind the pole.

  “Mom, please help, or I’ll not be able to go. I can’t change my mind again,” said Hattie.

  Belinda stepped forward to hug Emma. Hattie stepped away. The crowded corridor pushed her the opposite way, and she ended up standing next to Jay. He could see her standing there from the corner of his eyes but didn’t look at her. She noticed him too but didn’t say anything.

  Emma wiped away her tears and began reiterating the series of their promises.

  “Promise you’ll visit every week,” said Emma.

  “I promise,” said Hattie.

  Jay looked at her while she looked back.

  “Look at me,” said Emma. Hattie looked at her.

  “And you’ll call every day to ask me how my day went,” said Emma.

  “I will,” said Hattie.

  “And you’ll tell me when you get a new boyfriend,” said Emma.

  Jay chuckled internally. Hattie smiled too when she saw him laugh.

  “I will. I know the list, okay? I’ll miss you,” said Hattie.

  “I’ll miss you more,” said Emma.

  “I’m only five hundred miles away. I’ll visit whenever I can,” said Hattie.

  “Okay,” said Emma, holding Hattie’s hands.

  “Now, do you remember your promise? No drugs, no hanging out with those idiots in high school. You’re going to graduate top of your class next year and join me here, okay?” said Hattie. “We’ll conquer the world.”

  “Yes,” said Emma.

  Jay kept nodding every time Hattie spoke a word. Whenever she looked at him, he put on his surprise face, like a student who had met a legendary scholar.

  “I’m not going to be there with you from now on. So remember to stay strong, and don’t fight a battle you can’t win. No matter how bad things get, never stop trusting the good in people,” said Hattie.

  Jay pretended to write it down with his imaginary pen.

  “Now, I have got to set up my dorm and stuff. I’ll visit later this week, okay?” said Hattie. “Bye.”

  “No, don’t say bye. Say, I’ll see you soon,” said Emma.

  “I’ll see you soon,” said Hattie.

  She hugged Emma and her mom, and they left.

  Jay tried to catch a glimpse of the sister but couldn’t. Belinda waved goodbye to Jay, who waved back.

  When he looked back, he saw Hattie standing in front of him with her arms crossed.

  “Can I help you?” asked Hattie.

  “Yeah, a girl threw away my pen. Could you help me look for it?” said Jay.

  “Perhaps you deserved it,” said Hattie.

  “I deserve a lot worse but not today. Today, I was spreading good karma into the universe, and it cost me my pen,” said Jay. “And I wasn’t staring at your sister.”

  “I didn’t say anything about that,” said Hattie. “Clearly, you have a guilty conscience.”

  “Your eyes told me that,” said Jay.

  She lowered her eyes and looked away.

  “No point hiding now. They have already spoken,” said Jay.

  “Yeah? What else did they tell you?” said Hattie.

  “Before I answer that, are you sure she’s your sister?” asked Jay.

  “What do you mean?” said Hattie, looking offended.

  “I mean, your sister’s so..you know.. Your mom is so..you know.. But you’re..you know,” said Jay.

  “I’m what?” said Hattie, almost furious.

  “Angry all the time,” said Jay.

  “I’m angry when I stand in front of stupid people,” said Hattie.

  “Really? I usually act funny,” said Jay.

  She picked her bag and scoffed away.

  “Let me know, too,” yelled Jay.

  She turned around.

  “Let you know what?” said Hattie, coming back.

  “When you get a boyfriend,” said Jay.

  She smiled a little. She knew he was just having fun at her expense.

  Sam came over from behind.

  “Sorry, I got late,” said Sam. “Oh, hi.”

  “Hi,” said Hattie.

  “You’ve met?” asked Jay.

  “Yeah, she..,” said Sam, before Hattie interrupted her.

  “Yeah, we met inside the hall,” said Hattie.

  “Are you rich?” asked Jay.

  “No, why?” asked Hattie.

  “I was a little low on cash. Thought I’d play poker with you,” said Jay.

  “Oh, you think you can read people’s faces and judge them instantly? Let me tell you something. You don’t know anything about me or what I’ve been through. So keep your judgements to yourself,” said Hattie, pointing fingers.

  “You’re right. I guess I was still angry about my pen,” said Jay, apologetically.

  “Wait, you’re the racist who threw away the pen,” said Sam.

  “I’m not a racist. And I didn’t mean to throw it away. It just bounced off the bloody table,” said Hattie. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find the president of the student council for my living arrangements.”

  She started walking away before Sam said, “Just a moment.”

  She stopped and looked back at her. Sam took out her phone and called Brianca, and asked her to come to the ground floor corridor.

  “She says she’s busy,” Sam said, to Jay.

  Jay took the phone from Sam.

  “It’s an emergency. Please, please, please, please,” he said on the phone, imitating a child.

  “She’s coming,” he said after hanging up the phone.

  Hattie came back and stood next to Sam.

  “Thank you,” said Hattie.

  “You’re welcome. My name’s Sam,” said Sam.

  “Harriet,” said Hattie.

  She looked at Jay, but he was somewhere else. He was looking at another student on his extreme right, looking at the map of Daulton University. The guy was asking directions from people standing nearby, but no one bothered to answer. They were busy in their lives.

  “Come here,” said Jay.

  The guy came over.

  “You look lost,” said Jay.

  “Yeah, I am looking for the Admissions Office,” said the guy.

  “
You got the purple map, which only shows the dorms and the lecture halls. The Admissions Office is in the building behind this one. So go that way towards the end of the corridor, you’ll come across a lawn. Cross it and then turn right. Walk straight for about a hundred meters. You’ll see a small building with ‘Admissions’ written on it on your left,” explained Jay.

  “Thanks, man,” said the guy and bumped fists with Jay.

  Jay smiled as the guy went on his way.

  “You should’ve sent him to the library,” joked Sam.

  “Maybe some other day,” said Jay as he closed his eyes.

  Sam came closer to him as he wasn’t looking as enthusiastic as she would normally see him.

  “You alright?” asked Sam, putting her hands on his forehead. “You’re hot.”

  “Thank you,” said Jay, opening his eyes.

  “No, I mean you’re burning up,” said Sam.

  Hattie was listening to their conversation.

  “I got some medicines in my purse,” said Hattie.

  “No, it’s alright,” said Jay.

  “Please, I insist,” said Hattie.

  “It’ll probably go away on his own. Don’t think Nature wants me dead yet,” said Jay. “She’s here, by the way.”

  “Who?” asked Hattie.

  “Brianca. The President of the council,” said Jay. She came from behind him after a few seconds.

  “You got eyes on the back of your head?” asked Hattie.

  “He does. He probably can see through concrete. Somehow he always knows when Sam and I are nearby,” said Brianca.

  Hattie gave her the form in her hand. Brianca looked at it and asked Hattie to follow her.

  “Bye, Sam,” said Hattie.

  “Bye,” said Sam.

  “Bye,” said Hattie.

  “I’ll see you soon, too,” said Jay.

  Hattie turned around and smiled. She went with Brianca.

  Hattie asked about the life at Daulton University, and Brianca sang praises. Hattie had enrolled in Arts, though Literature was her first love.

  The next day went by as well, with Jay and Sam handling the students and the parents. Jay made it a point to keep the interaction at the minimum, while Sam stayed with him the entire time. Brianca had asked another couple of students to work the corridor on Jay’s request. The two-day program concluded successfully. Principal James was happy.

  In the evening, Jay, Sam and Brianca were hanging out in the crowded food court at the campus. The room was huge, with hundreds of tables, yet it looked so small.