We Are Still Here

by Jimmy Bird

  I couldn’t let her see this. I quickly turned around and choked out, “Yeah. Everything’s fine. It’s just......It’s just something that you don’t need to see.”

  I could hear the concern in her voice, “What’s wrong?”

  I tried not to gag, “Nothing. It’s just something that you don’t need to see.”

  I made it to the door at the same time JoJo did. I tried to shield her from the room, but she saw anyway.

  Wide-eyed, she peeked around my shoulder, “Are those? Were those children?”

  With a heavy heart, I answered, “Yes, they were.”

  She took a step backwards, “What happened to them? They don’t look like zombies.”

  I shook my head, “I don’t know. It looked like someone had slit their throats.”

  She gasped, “Who would have done such a thing?”

  I took one last look behind me before shutting the door, “I don’t know. Let’s just concentrate on searching the rest of the houseboat first.”

  I grabbed the door handle to the door across the hall and looked at my daughter, “You ready?”

  Without waiting for a reply, I slowly pushed open the door. Only this time, no odor of death attacked us. I peaked my head inside the bedroom. It looked like it had belonged to a teenager. A few dusty band posters were on the wall. A middle size television was on a dresser with an old game console next to it. I even saw an old digital music player with headphones on a nightstand next to the bed. Clothes were sprawled out all over the floor. The only thing missing was the teenager.

  JoJo spoke up from the hallway, “Anything?”

  I turned around, “No. Nothing. Let’s keep searching.”

  I turned back around to close the door, but JoJo had already stuck her head inside to look, “Wow! Look at this room. It’s been awhile since I had seen this kind of stuff.”

  She was so excited that she tried to push past me to get a better look. I put my hand out to stop her.

  I told her, “Wait.”

  She stopped, “What? Is it a trap?”

  I nudged her back towards the hallway, “No. We need to check out the rest of this houseboat to make sure that it’s safe first.”

  “Okay. But I’m calling it now, I got dibs on this room.”

  I tried not to laugh, “JoJo, we’ll see, okay? Let’s just focus on making sure it’s safe first.”

  She turned around, “Okay.”

  I turned and pulled the door shut behind me. We walked up to the main hallway and turned left. We came to another door a few feet away. The stench of death seemed to have been pouring out of the room on the other side.

  JoJo wrinkled her nose, “What is that? It smells worse than the other room.”

  I grabbed my shirt collar and lifted it over my nose again, “I don’t know.”

  I leaned in close to the door and listened. I heard nothing. Thinking that maybe the door was to thick to hear through, I turned my head and pressed my right ear to the door. Still nothing.

  Hoping that it was safe, I grabbed the door handle and turned. It turned easily. I slowly pushed open the door. The stench poured out the room and engulfed us. If you can believe it, the smell seemed even worse then the other room. I gagged and tried not to throw up again. The sight that welcomed us made me feel even more sick to my stomach.

  On a bed, against the far middle part of the wall was a decaying man holding a decaying woman in his arms. A knife handle was sticking out of her left temple. Something that looked like blood and brain matter stained the wall behind her head. The left side of the guy’s head was lying on top of her head. Flies buzzed all over the room. White maggots crawled all over their exposed flesh.

  I turned around and was ready to walk out when JoJo pointed, “Is that a gun?”

  I turned back around and noticed that the guy was holding an old looking revolver in his right hand. I hesitated. I knew that we needed the gun. Seth had just taken off with all our supplies and weapons. I’m ashamed to say this, but I didn’t want to go in the room. I was afraid that I would get sick. The smell, along with seeing maggots everywhere, including the hand holding the gun. But I knew we needed the gun. I just hoped that it had bullets in it.

  I held my breath and snuck quietly into the room. I’m not entirely sure why, but maybe it was because I was afraid, they were sleeping zombies. I tiptoed over to the bed and carefully made my way around it. The stench was even worse up close.

  I could see the gun in his hand. His first finger was on the trigger. Maggots continued to crawl over his hand and onto the gun. The gun! Was that a piece of paper under the gun? I refused to touch the maggots and began looking around for something to use.

  I found an old sweat stained whitish shirt on a chair arm next to the far wall. I walked over and grabbed it. It smelled musty but failed in comparison to the stench of death.

  I grabbed my shirt collar tightly and took a deep breath. I walk over to the bed and used the shirt to grab the gun. I guess rigamotis had already set it because he wasn’t letting go.

  I used the dirty shirt to carefully pry the gun from his stiff fingers. I could feel the maggots under the shirt moving around. The thought of them almost made me puke in my mouth.

  After a few minutes, I successfully got the gun from his fingers. As I lifted the gun, I noticed that a piece of paper was under his maggot covered hand. It looked like something was written on it.

  I glanced from the paper up to the guy. His right temple had a hole in it. It looked like he had used the gun to commit suicide. I wondered if this was a written last will like the guy from the store had done. My curiosity got the better of me, causing me to reach down and grab the paper. I took one last look at the couple.

  From the angle I was at, it looked like part of the right side of her face had been ripped off. I wondered if that was the reason a knife was sticking out of her left temple. I silently said a prayer from them and began walking towards the door, making sure that I shook the gun and paper to get the maggots off them. I made it to the door and quickly closed it behind me.

  I looked down at my daughter, “Come on. Let’s get some fresh air.”

  We made it back to the original door we came in. Makalyn was leaning over the rail. She looked sick to her stomach. Maybe, she wasn’t faking being sick after all.

  She looked up, “Did....Did you find anything?”

  JoJo answered, “Yeah.”

  Confused, Makalyn asked, “Well? What did you find?”

  “A couple of kids that had their throats slit and a woman with a knife sticking out of her head. Also, a guy who appeared to have committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.”

  JoJo spoke up, “We found the guy’s gun and a note.”

  Makalyn frowned, “A note? What did it say?”

  I looked down at the paper, “I don’t know. I was trying to get out of there as fast as I can. Not only does it smell bad, but flies and maggots were everywhere.”

  Makalyn turned a greenish color, “Oh God, the smell. I think that it seeped into your clothes or something. I’m gonna be sick again.”

  She turned and leaned over the rail again. You could hear her make that ‘huh sound’ common to someone puking, followed closely by something splashing into the water. Yep, she was sick alright.

  I glanced around, looking for someplace to sit. I really didn’t see much around the back of the houseboat, except for a couple of ice chest coolers stacked up against another railing. I thought about going back inside and grabbing a kitchen chair, but I thought better of it. There was no way I was about to go back into the houseboat of horrors.

  I decided to grab one of the coolers to use it as a chair. I walked over to the top one and grabbed the handles. Just as soon as I began to lift began, I knew that something was in it. But, what? I tilted the cooler to the right and whatever it was inside seemed to shift to that side. I tilted it to the left and the same thing occurred.

  I’m not sure why, but my curiosity got the better of
me. I gently sat it down on the deck in front of me. I ignored my better judgement and bent down in front of the cooler. I popped the plastic latches and lifted the lid. I instantly regretted it.

  Inside was a head and not just any head, it was a zombie head. From the rate of decay, it was hard to tell it the head had belonged to a male or female. Whatever it was, it’s glazed over hungry eyes looked up at me. Its mouth opened and closed as if it was biting the air. What kind of sick person could do such a thing?

  My daughter walked up behind me, “Dad, what is it? What’s in there?”

  I turned towards her, “A zombie head. Do you wanna see?”

  JoJo was melancholy, “Sure.”

  Makalyn continued to lean over the rail, “NO!”

  JoJo didn’t move.

  “What’s the matter JoJo?”

  “Nothing.”

  I raised my eyebrows, “Come on. It’s never nothing, it’s always something. What is it?”

  She looked down at the floor, “It’s just that, I can’t get what I saw inside out of my head. Dad, the kids were murdered. Someone had cut their throats. Then it looked like the dad had killed the mom and then shot himself. For all we know, the dad could have killed his own kids. Now, you find a zombie head in a cooler on the same houseboat. It’s horrifying. I couldn’t imagine you doing something like that.”

  I nodded in agreement, “You’re right. It is horrifying and weird. Maybe, this letter will tell us something.”

  I held up the letter and read: “Dear Son, if you found this, it means that I’m dead. I just want you to know that I’m Sorry. I’m Sorry for everything that’s happened. I’m Sorry for not being able to save your mom. I’m sorry for what you had to endure in the days that followed. I’m Sorry I wasn’t the father you needed me to be. I’m sorry that I put so much responsibility on you. Please, forgive me. I know it was my idea to stay on our houseboat, but it was the only thing that I could think of to keep us safe. I thought that we could survive by just eating fish. I figured that it was the only way we could make it in this new and horrific world. Unfortunately, I didn’t take my family into consideration and it ended up being my first mistake. You see, I knew that I could always eat fish. I was raised on a fishing boat. Your mom, on the other hand, was not and therefore couldn’t stomach eating fish all the time. When we eventually ran out of fuel and food, your mom and I tried to go to the closest Marina looking for supplies. That decision will haunt me forever because it became my second mistake. I know that we asked a lot of you, by asking you to watch over your younger siblings while we were gone. I just want to tell you that while we were at the Marina, we were attacked by those monsters. We ended up getting separated. I failed to protect your mom and she ended up getting bit. I want you to know that I fought as hard as I could to get to her and we managed to escape. As you noticed, I was able to bring her back to the houseboat. After that, my actions became a blur. I’m not sure why I locked your mom and me in our bedroom. Maybe, it was my way of protecting y’all. At least, I hope that was my reason. I want you to know that I did everything I could save your mom. Unfortunately, there was really nothing I could do. I’m sure you heard the gunshot, but I want you to know that I only took her life in order to keep her from becoming one of those things. It was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do in my life. I know that I had become withdrawn in the days that followed and refused to see or even acknowledge any of you. I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you, your brother, or sister. I was self absorbed in my solace. I see now that it was selfish on my part and it ended up being the third biggest mistake of my life. What kind of father am I? I didn’t even allow y’all time to see, much less, mourn your mom. Looking back on it, I know that I put too much pressure on you to take care of your younger siblings while I wasn’t myself. I was blinded by my own grief to pay attention. I had cut myself off from y’all. You’re only twelve years old for Christ sake. I realize that it took me more then a few days to get over my heartache, but you need to understand, she had been the Love of my life! I’m not sure how long I had closed myself from y’all, but when I finally emerged from my room, I learned what you had done to your brother and sister. They were only children while you were no where to be found. I admit that I was more then furious at you. When I couldn’t find you, I began to lose it. Thoughts ran wild through my head. Did someone come aboard and take you. Were they the ones who killed your brother and sister? If so, why was I left alone? No! It was you! I realize now that you must have thought that the only thing left for you to do was run. In my frenzied state of mind, you were correct. There was no telling what I would have done to you! In my search for you, I eventually saw the rowboat tied up on the shoreline with those things roaming around it. My anger quickly faded away. I came to the realization that it was my fault. It was all my fault. The only thing I could do from the houseboat was hope that you had safely made it. After my own self reflection, I realized that it was probably the only thing that you could do to save your brother and sister from starvation or worse. Whatever the reason you had done it, doesn’t matter. My only hope is that your still alive, but I for one, can not go on living. After losing your mom, your brother, your sister, and finally you, I have nothing Left to Live for. Again, I’m Sorry for everything. Remember, I will always Love You. Dad”

  My eyes moistened. Wow, so much was said in this letter. It seemed that the young children were killed by their older brother. The father killed himself after he killed their infected mom.

  I looked up. My daughter and Makalyn were watching me. Their eyes were also moist.

  JoJo choked out, “I don’t want to stay here.”

  Makalyn chimed in, “Me neither.”

  I agreed, “Yeah. I don’t want to stay here either, but we can’t leave yet.”

  Makalyn asked, “Why not?”

  I pointed towards the shoreline, “Look, the zombies are still there. Besides, it’s getting dark.”

  JoJo spoke up, “Okay. But I’m not sleeping inside.”

  Makalyn added, “Agreed.”

  We were all in agreement, “Yeah. We can sleep on the deck.”

  I nodded towards the shoreline, “Hopefully, they’ll be gone by that time.”

  We found some old moldy blankets wadded up in a corner of the deck. They smelled bad, but not as much as the stench of death inside. We sprawled the blankets out on the wooden deck and laid down.

  I looked up at the sky. Man, I felt like the father from the note. It felt like everything was my fault. I thought about everyone we had lost along the way. From the death of my wife and children, to the death of my family and friends, even the fall of the Warehouse. I felt like a failure. I thought about their laughs, smiles, sadness, and heartaches. I thought about everything that had happened these past few years.

  I closed my eyes and whispered, “I’m Sorry!”

  Chapter 15: Abandonment Issues

  I was woken up, “Dad! Dad! Wake up! I think Makalyn ditched us!”

  I bolted into a sitting position, “WHAT?”

  Makalyn came around the corner of the deck, “I didn’t ditch you! I was searching for supplies.”

  Relieved, I asked, “Did you find anything useful?”

  She shook her head, “No. The fishing gear at the front of the houseboat is garbage. The poles are broken, and the reels are rusted. They must have been exposed to the weather for some time.”

  I began to stretch and rise to me feet, “Did you look inside?”

  She wrinkled her forehead, “I already told you, I’m not going in there!”

  I raised my hands to show her that I wasn’t trying to fight, “Okay. Okay. I was just curious.”

  I looked over at the shore. The zombies were still there. It looked like we’ll need a different plan. I glanced around, the next closest shoreline to the road we needed to get to was over a mile away. If we had a boat with a running motor it would be no problem, but it was, we only had a rowboat. I glanced back towards the
zombie infested shoreline, it was still better then the alternative.

  I sighed heavily, “Okay guys, we have a decision to make and I’m not making it by myself. Do we go after Seth or look for Makalyn’s parents? I will go along with whatever y’all want to do.”

  JoJo spoke her mind, “Even though Seth abandoned us, I say we go after him.”

  Makalyn surprised me, “I.....I agree with JoJo. I say we go after Seth.”

  “What about your parents?”

  She had a sad look in her face, “I thought about it all night. I don’t think that my parents are alive.”

  I frowned at her, but she ignored me, “Think about it. My dad was bitten before I left. My mom was with him at the hospital and she wouldn’t have left him unless she was forced to. Then, even if she left the hospital, she wouldn’t have abandoned her children. They were zombies when I saw them. That’s not the type of person my mom is.”

  I noticed that she used the word ‘is’ instead of ‘was’. Maybe subconsciously, she still thought that her mom was still alive somewhere even though she was trying to convince herself that she wasn’t.

  “Are you sure?”

  She halfheartedly responded, “Yeah. We know where Seth is going, and I don’t have the slightest idea where the cabin is. With as big as Lake Eufaula is, it could take us well over a year to find it.”

  JoJo spoke up, “Makalyn, after everything that you’ve been through, you’re so close to finding your family. Are you sure you want to give that up now?”

  Makalyn looked at her, “You’re my family too, as well as Seth.”

  She motioned towards the rowboat, “So, come on. If we hurry, we can catch him.”

  We walked over to where the rowboat was tied up. We began to carefully climb in when my stomach began to growl. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate and began to feel dizzy.

  JoJo spoke up, “Dad, I’m hungry.”

  I understood, “I know sweetie. Me too.”

  I looked over at the houses at the far shoreline, “Maybe, we can find something to eat over there or at least a running car.”