Shelter for Aylin

by Reina Torres

  “Ah, yeah, sure.”

  He should have known that. Stillman knew he should also know the answer to the question he was about to ask, but he’d forced himself out of Aylin’s life and now he was going to pay for it.

  “And those guys?”

  The look Warren gave him said that Stillman was going to be answering questions later.

  “The snob with expensive taste is Sean. I don’t remember his last name and don’t care to. He hangs out because he’s known Kat like all of their lives. If you ask me, they’re a match, including the sticks up their asses. But, that other guy...”

  Music filled the air in the club and just the introduction to the song told Stillman exactly what it was. There was no mistaking the haunting and romantic strains of Selena’s “No Me Queda Más.”

  “That’s Wes Roberts. He’s dating Aylin.”

  Dating Aylin.

  The room darkened around him as he watched Wes walking Aylin back onto the dance floor.

  It was Stillman’s own personal horror film.

  Barely a few feet onto the dance floor, Wes wrapped his arms around her, his hands flat against her lower back. She answered the gesture by wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. There were a few inches between their bodies and while Stillman held onto the possible significance of that distance, the words of the song mocked him. He heard the Spanish song in the rich tones of Selena’s voice, but in his heart, he knew what they meant.

  ‘I have nothing left but to accept defeat and wish you happiness...’

  He knew what it was like to dance with Aylin. Knew how responsive she was to the beat as well as the touch of his hands. Together they moved as one and flowed along with the beat and tempo. Fast or slow, it didn’t matter. She wasn’t just beautiful. When she danced, moving to the music, she was transcendent.

  And there he was watching her with someone else.

  Wes wasn’t talented as a dancer, but he didn’t step on her toes, either. Still, he was the lucky man holding her as they danced together.

  The words, the melody, fell away and all Stillman could hear was the thrumming rush of blood pumping through his ears and the pain in his chest as he watched Wes pull her closer.

  They were far enough away that he had no hope of hearing what the other man was saying, but he saw the soft smile he received in response. Aylin’s eyes glittered in the dark interior of the club and the silvery lights that radiated out from the lights in the corner of the room. She met Wes’ eyes and before Stillman could even wrap his mind around his own disbelief, he lost sight of Aylin as Wes leaned in for a kiss.

  “I’m not telling the Chief, are you?”

  Stillman couldn’t move. He certainly couldn’t speak. He wasn’t even sure he was breathing.

  As Aylin’s arms wrapped tighter around Wes’ neck, Stillman faced the bar and set his bottle down.

  Breathe, he told himself. Breathe.

  “Wow.” Warren leaned against the bar beside him. “That’s crazy, right?”

  Crazy? Yeah, he was headed in that direction. It was one thing to want Aylin to be happy and discover the world. He just didn’t want to see it happening.

  Certainly not with a guy that wasn’t him.

  Stillman saw the bartender coming his way and downed his beer. He gestured for her to bring them two, but Warren shook his head.

  “I’m good. I have to drive later.”

  “Yeah. Right.” Still, he gestured for the two beers and ignored the look in Warren’s eyes when he sucked the first one dry before the bartender even moved away. “Crazy.”

  “Hey, guys!”

  Stillman tensed as he felt an arm drape over his shoulder. He knew it wasn’t Aylin, but he wasn’t quite ready to be sociable. Luckily, Warren took charge.

  “Lissa! You need to warn me before you get on the stage and dance like that.”

  Lissa leaned into her brother so the arm she had over Stillman’s shoulder drew him in their direction. “Please tell me you didn’t let my brother bring you here to babysit us!”

  Stillman didn’t know what to say. So, he stayed silent.

  “Come clean, manito.” Lissa chided her brother. “Don’t hide the truth.”

  Warren shook his head. “First, I’m the older brother. The prince of our family. Watch it, before I call our father and tell him what I saw!”

  Lissa’s laugh was more of a snort. “Who do you think paid for all of my dance classes, hermano?” She turned her attention to Stillman, and he wanted to find some excuse to walk away. “And you, did you see your girl out there?” She whistled softly and shook her head. “She was everything out there.”

  Stillman wanted to shake his head and tell Lissa that Aylin was always everything, but that would kind of work against him. “You were both great out there.”

  Lissa’s eyes widened and she looked at him with a pointed stare. “Right, sure. Okay, Rook. You keep telling yourself that you’re that dense.”

  Was there no way to keep a secret anymore?

  Stillman saw the confused look that passed between Warren and his sister. Lissa gave the bartender the order for their table, gave Stillman an ‘aww, aren’t you cute’ pat on his shoulder, and walked away.

  Warren leaned on the bar top again and slid a side-long glance at him. “You want to explain what I just missed?”

  Taking a long sip of his last beer, Stillman set the bottle down on the hard wood surface and sighed. “Nope.”

  Shrugging, Warren took a sip of his beer. “You can talk now, or you can talk later, Rook, but some time tonight before I drop you off, I’m going to figure out what’s going on under my nose.”

  Stillman knew that was true. Warren was going to hear it from him, or he’d figure it out on his own. Either way, Stillman’s heart was going to be flayed open, again.

  He could handle that. He could even take people teasing him about his feelings, as long as Aylin was kept in the dark. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable around him or look into her eyes and see pain.

  He’d do anything it took to keep that from happening.

  Chapter 7

  When Aylin walked through the common room with a big bag in her hands, all heads turned. Callan got to his feet. “What’s up, lil’ sis? You’re not going to stop and say hello?”

  “Sit yourself down, Fish. You know I usually don’t mind sharing, but this is something just for the big man upstairs.”

  Lincoln set his plate down and stepped in between Fish and Aylin, telling her to, “Make a run for it. I’ll hold them back.”

  With a wink, she pecked a quick kiss on Lincoln’s cheek and saw his eyes crinkle up at the corners. She was gone a moment later and making her way up the stairs. She could have taken the elevator, but the stairs were just simpler, and she didn’t have to wait. As she pushed open the door at the landing, she saw that the hallway was clear.

  She crossed the hall and knocked on the glass window.

  Ethan’s head popped up and he smiled the instant he saw her. That smile made her weak. If he’d looked up at her and had to school his features into a smile, it would have been a kick to her heart.

  He stood up and waved her in and cleaned the papers off of his desk as she opened the door and stepped inside.

  Ethan crossed over to her and pulled her into a one-armed hug to keep from knocking the bag out of her hand. “What’s all this?”

  Smiling up at him, she gave the bag a little pat, listening to the crisp sound of the brown paper as it shook. “When you said you had time for lunch, I wanted to do something special for you. So, I went over to The BBQ Pit and picked up one of their ‘Brisket for Two’ Platters.”

  He took the bag from her and set it down. Widening the top of the bag he reached in and pulled out the recyclable container and lifted it to his nose. He drew in a deep breath and then smiled at her. “But what are you going to eat?”

  “Ha!” She shook her head and pulled the chair at the front of the desk around to the side and sat down. Pinchin
g her fingers at the folded side edge of the bag, she ripped it open from the lip to the base.

  Ethan just stared at her wide-eyed as she tore open the connected bottom edge of the package. When she laid it all open like a placemat he sat down heavily in his chair. “How did I not think of that?”

  She shrugged and pulled out the little tubs of sides and worked to set them up. “You think about structures in terms of walls, wood, mortar, glass. I look at a bag and think surface area. It’s just how you look at it.”

  He handed her a fork and a napkin. “From where I’m sitting, it makes me happy to see you.”

  Her smile faltered a little. “I hope you’re still thinking that in a few minutes.”

  Aylin saw his searching look and the note of kindness in his eyes.

  “Is this about your dad?”

  She almost had to pry her lips apart to speak. “He may be my father in that he provided half of my DNA, but he’s never been my ‘dad.’” Her fingers fiddled with the paper napkin’s edge. “That’s been you almost since day one.”

  There was a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite name, but it looked a lot like relief.

  “It’s felt like that too. For me.” He popped open the baked beans and reached out, setting it before her. “You take this to start with, just make sure you leave me a few bites.”

  Aylin smiled and sat back a little with the bean container in one hand and the fork in the other. “I know that when we talked at the house you were okay with what I said. I just wanted to make sure that you meant it. It might feel like I was trying to put you on the spot, but I wasn’t. I haven’t even decided to meet with him again.

  “I just wanted you to think about it. And I want you to know that I love you, Dad.”

  Ethan took in a short breath and his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.

  “Since the very moment we met, you treated me with kindness. You talked to me like I mattered to you and you made me feel appreciated, protected, and loved. You gave my mom a brilliant smile that I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wearing before. She feels joy and hope in everyday the two of you are together.

  “And when I look at the two of you, I understand the reason why people want to find ‘the one’ and get married.”

  Ethan rolled his chair closer. “Are you trying to tell me that you’ve found ‘the one?’”

  She almost choked on air. “Oh goodness, no!” Then she regretted the outburst. “I mean. I’m not planning on getting married in the foreseeable future. I mean, I don’t think it’s going to happen. Not in the next few years. That’s way too soon. And I’ve only been out on a few dates here and there over the years, but it’s not… it’s too soon to know one way or the other right?

  “Then again, you and mom were like instantaneous attraction and then from there POW! WHAM! Like the old Batman and Robin on TV.”

  She stopped when she realized that Ethan was barely holding in his laughter.

  “What?”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t realize it seemed so quick!”

  She shrugged and shoveled in another spoonful of the baked beans. “God, this is so good!”

  “Remember to leave me a few bites, okay?”

  She shrugged and gave him a little sly look.

  “Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it since the night you came over to talk to us. So has your mother, but I’ll let her talk to you about that.”

  Aylin stopped chewing to worry her lip between her teeth.

  “It’s nothing bad, sweetheart. It’s just that a topic like this brings up a lot of questions. I’m just glad you came to us to talk about it.”

  She drew in a breath as she watched him, waiting for him to continue.

  “I’m fine with it, Aylin. You’re an intelligent young woman. If you want to get to know him, that’s fine with me. You know I love you and that is not going to change. That love isn’t conditional and shouldn’t be.”

  “It’s hard,” she admitted, “I still wake up some nights thinking I’m in the fire, and I remember that it happened because of his campaign. And when I see him or think of him, sometimes those feelings of panic come back.”

  Ethan set his fork down and moved his chair, so he was close enough to touch her knee. “Does your mother know?”

  She knew her smile was only half-there. “The dreams? I’m dealing with them.”

  “Hey,” his gentle voice drew her attention to his somber eyes, “if you need to see someone you just tell me, or talk to your primary care doctor and we’ll make it happen, okay? Don’t think you need to suck it up or even worse, ignore it.”

  “It’s not like he ever did something to me personally. He didn’t beat me. He didn’t even try to hurt me himself. It was all just the campaign that put me in that position.”

  Ethan sat back in his chair and shook his head. “It’s not normal for people to hurt each other like that, sweetheart. And I hope to God that it’s not normal for a political campaign to burn buildings to the ground. If it is, then we need to stop it, now. But I want you to understand that there is not a single thing ‘normal’ about what you went through. If you need help talking through it, I hope you’ll come to me or your mother. And if you can’t talk to us, we’ll find you someone you can talk to.”

  “I know, Dad.” They both smiled at the same time. “I still love saying that.”

  Ethan closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them, she saw true affection and love there. “I still love hearing it. And I don’t think that’s ever going to change.”

  A soft knock on the door was followed by the usual, “Uh, Chief. Sorry to bother, but-”

  Aylin tilted her head toward the door. “Go. I’ll put everything back in the box and drop it off in the kitchen for you.”

  He stood and held her shoulders gently as he pressed a kiss on her forehead. “Don’t forget to put my name on it or those scavengers will eat the brisket and the box.”

  “I think that’s going to happen even with the name.” She shrugged. “Maybe for Christmas, Mom and I will get you one of those college dorm fridges and you can hide it behind your desk.”

  “I’ll talk to you later, Aylin. Thanks for the lunch.”

  He stepped out of his office and walked off with Noah Sadler, the Lieutenant on shift. Whatever it was, the two of them would fix it.

  Aylin sat back down on her chair and picked up the extra-large container of baked beans. She managed a heaping spoonful in her mouth when she heard a knock on the door.

  Pushing as much as she could onto one side of her mouth, she managed to speak... with just enough enunciation to be understood. “Sorry, the Chief went with the Lieutenant to talk about something.”

  “I came to see you, Aylin.”

  She almost choked down the beans in her mouth and worked her jaw as quickly as she could behind a hand as she turned her chair around. “Mmm. Mmm.” She swallowed and almost saw stars. “Still! Hey, sorry. I was shoveling food into my face.”

  Smiling, he leaned against the door frame. “It’s like you were born to be a firefighter.”

  “Or a caterer,” she quipped, “it’s a luxury to sit down and eat.”

  “I was down in the common room and Fish said you were up here. I figured that you’d be with your dad.” He shook his head a little. “Well, Chief Blaise, not your biological dad.” His expression told her how confused he was.

  “Yeah, it’s kind of odd to think about it. For most of my life it was just me and my mom. Now, it’s like I have two dads. To say it’s causing some confusion in my life is an understatement. But,” she set down the container and laid her spoon on her napkin, “I’m glad you stopped to talk. I wanted to thank you.”

  “Thank me? You don’t have to-”

  “Yeah, I do, Still. You encouraged me to tell my mom and Ethan about my father showing up, talking to me. I was going to try to shoulder that on my own and keep my mom out of it to protect her, but I saw him again at one of my mom’s events and he explained w
hy he wants to see me.”

  “Yeah? What do you think about it? About him?”

  “I’m not sure what to think about it. He says he’s changed, but I’m not sure I can or even want to believe- No. That’s not true. I want to believe him. You helped me see that. And because of what you told me, I went to the house and talked to my parents the other night. My mom was almost silent for minutes after I finished, but she seemed to be... okay with it.”

  She rushed on to explain, knowing she hadn’t really made coherent sense.

  “I mean, I don’t even know what I’m going to do. I’m glad that I have a choice now. For most of my life my father has just been an ‘other.’ Not there, but somewhere.”

  He nodded, but she wasn’t quite sure what he was thinking about in his head. What was he thinking... about her?

  “And I wanted to know if I did something to upset you.”

  He was sure he hadn’t heard her right.

  “Upset me?”

  He didn’t know how to answer that.

  “Yeah,” her cheeks were flushed with a rosy color that worried him. “I wanted to know if you were upset because I didn’t go to talk to the Chief and my mom earlier. Or was it something else I did, or didn’t do?”

  Stillman shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

  “You don’t?” She sat back in her chair and shook her head, but he didn’t miss the look in her eyes. It was impossible to. “Then why are you avoiding me?”

  He didn’t know what to say to her beyond the truth and thinking about the words in his head only made them seem like a thin excuse, even to his own ears.

  “I must really look silly, right? I mean, I bet you don’t have a lot of women asking you to proms. Is that it? That I took forever to graduate from high school?

  “You wouldn’t be the first person who thinks I’m going to be a burden, but I’m guessing it’s simpler than that. It’s just as simple as I’m a nice girl but you could tell that I liked you and you just don’t feel that way.” She huffed and shook herself. “I even sound like a kid. I don’t know what I was thinking- no I know that I wasn’t thinking around you, Still. I was feeling. I got attached and maybe that scared you.