Holden's Heart

by Jayna Morrow

  The rest of the morning progressed with much of the same—stops and paperwork, punctuated by phone calls to make suggestions or comments. Her ability to contend with his antics wavered with each contact until she stopped answering altogether. He resorted to texting. Over and over again.

  She sent him out in the fields with another employee to check on the grain and hay levels. Then he had to deal with some equipment issues. Each time he finished a task, she set him on to another.

  At the end of the day, he was dusty and sore. He entered the climate-controlled main building and collapsed onto a leather sofa in the sitting area outside her office, catching a whiff of himself. He needed a shower. He hoped she was happy with how hard she’d pushed him today. Right now, she didn’t look happy. The blinds to her office were open. The scene unfolding before his eyes was grim.

  She nodded to the man standing next to her, then walked behind her desk, and plopped down onto her seat, her shoulders hunched.

  “We’ll have dinner another time, Irelynn. I don’t know why you’re making such a huge deal about this. You know how busy I am.” The man paused in the doorway when she didn’t respond. “Where’s that beautiful smile?”

  After a moment, her head lifted, and she flashed a reluctant smile.

  “There you go. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

  Who did this man think he was to disappoint her like that, then guilt her into putting on a happy face? It had been a long time since the urge to hit a man swept over him, but he was beginning to twitch. He closed his eyes and meditated on a verse from the Bible that always brought him peace. This wasn’t his business. When he opened his eyes, the man had gone.

  Irelynn remained frozen in her seat.

  Their gazes locked and his heart beat wildly as if it was trying to escape and rush to her side. The hurt that he saw in her eyes pulled at his legs. He couldn’t restrain himself and moved to the empty doorway. “That’s some friend there.” His words came out more sarcastic than he’d intended. Maybe it was what she needed to hear, though.

  “Oh, Emerson? It’s fine. I get upset when he cancels our dates, but he is a busy person.”

  “You two been going out long?”

  “A few months. It’s nothing serious.”

  He caught the change in her demeanor. There was much more than she was willing to tell. “Then it would be OK if I took you to dinner instead?”

  6

  Irelynn blinked several times, caught off guard. Flabbergasted was the only word she could think of to describe the situation. She’d known him all of eight hours, not counting their run-in at Gabriel’s house, and during that time, he’d spent more time annoying her than he’d spent working. “I don’t think so, Holden.” She had to keep a clear head to do the job Gabriel entrusted to her. She couldn’t get involved with his brother.

  “Why not? Are y’all exclusive?”

  Life-giving air rushed out of her lungs. Heat flushed her cheeks. “Um, well, not exactly. We talked about it, but Emerson said it was too soon to make that declaration.”

  “Do you feel the same way?”

  Holden blocked her escape, otherwise she would have fled. The folder containing the day’s lists and notes slapped against his leg, patting out a steady rhythm. His muscular arms were streaked with dirt and grass. His clothes were covered in the same.

  “I’m willing to give him more time.”

  “In the meantime, have dinner with me. It’ll be like a business dinner. I can share some ideas I have with you.”

  She gave him a sideways glance to express her doubt. Then she picked up her keys and pulled her purse from the bottom desk drawer. She wasn’t sure about having dinner with him, even under the pretense of business. She had way too much responsibility right now to throw that into the mix. “There’s no need for an idea-sharing session.” She stood. “I do appreciate your concern, but you’re not obligated to entertain me. I’m used to Emerson’s crazy schedule, and I don’t mind eating alone.” She mustered up a smile and held her head high.

  “Is that what you think this is about? You think I asked you out to dinner because I feel sorry for you?”

  His russet brown eyes squinted ever so slightly, and the corners of his lips turned up into a smile. Even the fluorescent lighting caught the gold flecks in them. There had to be at least an ounce in each one. It added up to one pricey pair of peepers.

  “You saw what happened. I thought...”

  He stepped aside to let her pass through the doorway and lock the office door.

  “You thought wrong. I had planned on asking you to dinner all day.”

  Oh, sure. From what she could tell, Holden was an opportunist. He’d seen her disappointment when Emerson canceled their plans. This was nothing more than an opportunity.

  He’d taken every chance that came along as an excuse to bother her. And the way he’d run up on her yesterday at Gabriel’s property added to her wariness. Plus, she’d heard a few stories through Gabriel over the years. Those were also the reasons why she had this strange curiosity about him. And why there was a part of her that wanted to have dinner with him. “OK, I will enjoy a meal with you, but only as friends.” She started toward the exit, and he followed. “Let’s not talk about business though.”

  “Deal,” he agreed. “Any suggestions on where we should go? The last time I lived here, the choices were the diner on Main Street, the diner on Elm, or the diner-slash-bait-shop out by the lake.”

  “That diner-slash-bait-shop serves up a mean steak dinner, I’ll have you know.” Each night at seven, the Forrester family performed miracles with beef and a grill—the best steak dinner ever eaten out of a to-go box on wooden picnic tables on a screened-in patio that overlooked Post Lake.

  “I was thinking of one of the newer restaurants I saw as I drove in, but now I’m nostalgic for the old joint. Steak sounds great to me.”

  ~*~

  Holden selected a table out on the patio, a world away from Irelynn’s comfort zone. She lowered into the chair he held for her. He adjusted her seat with ease as if she weighed nothing at all. She scanned the churning waters that glistened in the moonlight. The wind was blowing quite a bit, but the night air was warm and pleasant. Perfect for an evening meal outdoors. Already it was worth the drive out here.

  “Thank you for checking on Gabriel’s property for me this evening. You saved me a lot of time.”

  “No problem. I was going there anyway.”

  “I still appreciate it. I know it’s safe, but, I hate to admit this, I’m afraid of the dark.”

  “We all have our fears and phobias. I won’t hold it against you.” He winked.

  She almost melted into a puddle right there on the floor. “Thank you.”

  “It helped you get ready quicker. I’d call that a win-win situation.”

  She smiled, but something behind her caught his attention. She turned and froze. He studied the mural that covered the wall. How could she have forgotten that was there? She shouldn’t have let him bring her here for dinner. Or suggested it in the first place.

  “I don’t remember that artwork. It’s incredible.”

  “Isn’t it lovely?” An older woman appeared carrying their steak dinners. She set one to-go box in front of each of them. “Hello, Miss Irelynn.”

  “Good to see you, Mrs. Lissemore.”

  Oh, goodness! Mrs. Lissemore had known her for many years. Now she was in a hopeless situation. Discovery was inevitable. The truth would be revealed in no time.

  “An excellent portrayal of Sweet Home history. Someone has a lot of artistic talent. How long did it take to create that masterpiece?”

  Mrs. Lissemore cocked her head to one side in question. “Why don’t you just ask? You’re sitting with the talented artist now.”

  Something inside her died the moment the truth was revealed. Mrs. Lissemore had opened her jar of secrets and dumped the contents onto Holden’s lap.

  He lifted his eyebrows and stared at her. “You weren�
�t going to tell me, were you?” He made a sweeping gesture with his hands toward the mural.

  “I should have picked a different restaurant. I don’t want to get into this.”

  “There’s no need to be embarrassed. You are very talented, Irelynn.”

  “You’re just being nice. There are more flaws than I can count.”

  “None that I can see.” He plastered on a grin. “You have nothing to be ashamed of with talent like that.”

  Irelynn cradled her face in her hands. The Forresters had been her first paying clients for what she had hoped was the beginning of a beautiful career. Instead, she’d shriveled in the spotlight. While most enjoyed her work, there were some critics. The only thing worse than putting her work out there was hearing the negative words. There would always be those who sought to tear down and pass judgment, but it hadn’t mattered.

  “He’s right, dear. It looks as if you two are still getting to know each other. My husband and I are getting close to celebrating our fiftieth anniversary, and I still remember when we courted. I’ll leave you to it.”

  “Mrs. Lissemore, we’re not dating. Holden and I work together.”

  “Mr. Lissemore and I used to work together, too.” She winked and walked away.

  Holden smiled and opened his box to reveal a juicy steak, salad, and baked potato. “For what it’s worth, your work is outstanding.” Then he dropped the subject in favor of food.

  Her reprieve was short-lived.

  After a few bites, he tried another tactic. “You called our waitress Mrs. Lissemore. You know her?”

  “For many years. She used to work at the dairy, first for your father and then Gabriel. She did my job, actually. She trained me as her replacement.”

  “And now, in her golden years, she’s a waitress?”

  “She’s related to the Forresters. She doesn’t have to work, but she enjoys the social aspect. She told me once it keeps her young and active.”

  “Sounds as though she’s a fan of your art, too.”

  “Yeah, well, my days as an artist are over.”

  “I know a lot of people, Irelynn. I could get your work out there. You could make a decent living doing what you love.” He stopped to give her time to respond.

  She turned her attention to the food. It wasn’t as appetizing as it had been when it arrived.

  “I think if you started painting again and saw how much people appreciated your work, then you’d view yourself in a positive light.”

  “Who said I feel bad about myself? Or that I even have a desire to paint anything?”

  Holden had hit upon the dark side of her heart. The side she felt beating, but could no longer see.

  “Isn’t that what you want?”

  Art had once been Irelynn’s passion, but those days were long gone. Now she was content with her sketches and other private works. She no longer desired to bare her soul to the public. She’d already done more hurt to her self-esteem than she’d ever intended. The evidence displayed behind her burned into the back of her head. “No, I don’t. Now can we talk about something else?” She took a deep, cleansing breath. How would she ever make it through this dinner with a man who had no limits on decorum? Without another word, she carved her steak into bite-sized pieces and ate a bite.

  Holden returned to eating, cutting his steak one bite at a time.

  She was keenly aware of the man sitting across from her...not that he paid her any attention. He was working his way through his own dinner. He was close enough to smell. His fresh, spicy scent wafted across the table and invaded her nostrils to the point where she could no longer taste the food. How he’d managed to filter through the thick wall she’d built around herself baffled her. Not even Emerson affected her this way.

  “OK, let’s talk about Emerson.” He wiped his fingers clean with a napkin, and then took a sip of his ice water.

  Her brain wasn’t keeping pace with her heart, so she blurted, “That’s not any better. And it’s not any of your business.”

  “I know. You’re not the first person who’s ever accused me of getting too personal. You don’t even want to know what’s going through my brain right now anyway.”

  “There’s a shocker. And you’re right; I don’t want to know your thoughts on the subject. You’ve already said enough.” His teasing smile jolted her.

  He slid the dishes aside, rested his arms on the table and leaned forward. “I think you and I both know I’m gonna speak my piece anyway, and I gotta whole week, maybe two, to do it. We might as well get it over with now.”

  “OK, OK. Go ahead. Not that it’ll make a difference.”

  He pushed back in his seat, a look of satisfaction blanketing his face. “I don’t think Emerson appreciates you.” He crossed his arms and gave her a stern look. “And you shouldn’t let him treat you like an afterthought that he has to find time for. There. I said it. You needed to hear it.”

  “I know you’re trying to be a gentleman, but you don’t know the whole story. Emerson is a busy man, but he does make time for me. We have a good deal of fun together. I know one day that my patience with him will pay off. He’ll be ready to settle down, and I’ll be there, waiting in the wings.” She was pretty sure with men timing mattered.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face as if trying to wipe away the pained expression there. “If he doesn’t make you a priority now, then he won’t make you a priority ever.”

  “People change, Holden.” She met his sympathetic gaze. “He’ll come around.”

  “Do you know that? Or are you just hoping for the best?”

  She couldn’t think of a response.

  “Let’s pretend for a moment. Tell me about your ideal relationship.”

  Ideal relationship? There was a first. No one had ever asked her that, but it was something she’d thought about.

  “Do y’all want me to wrap anything up to go?” Mrs. Lissemore approached the table and placed the bill face down.

  Holden swiped it before she could even blink, whipped out a few bills, and handed them to her. The whole shebang took less than fifteen seconds and reminded her of a gun draw in an old western. He glanced at her empty plate and his own.

  “I think we’re both members of the clean plate club. Thank you.”

  “Thank y’all for coming tonight. Irelynn, it’s always so nice to see you.”

  “Goodnight, Mrs. Lissemore.”

  After she walked away, Holden repeated his question to Irelynn. “You were going to tell me about your ideal relationship?”

  She had hoped he’d forgotten. How could she formulate an answer?

  Mrs. Lissemore walked to the front of the restaurant and greeted an older gentleman by the door. Mr. Lissemore was unmistakable with his head full of gray hair and a curly mustache. Mrs. Lissemore didn’t drive anymore, so he must have stopped in to pick her up. He grabbed her up in a bear hug, and she kissed him sweetly. The answer to Holden’s question illuminated before her eyes. “Do you see Mrs. Lissemore over there with her husband?”

  He glanced at the lovey-dovey couple and nodded.

  “They’re going on fifty years of marriage, and they’re still as crazy about each other as the day they met.”

  “And that’s what you want? Someone who’s crazy about you to grow old with?”

  “More than that. I know quite a few older couples who have been married for fifty years and hated each other half the time. It’s more about the thought and care that goes into a relationship like the Lissemores have.”

  “How did you become such an expert on the Lissemores? I’m not belittling your answer. In fact, I agree. I’m trying to understand.”

  “You remember I told you Mrs. Lissemore and I worked together while she trained me?”

  “Of course.”

  “One day, it was pouring down rain. We locked up for the day and walked to the main entry. Before we could exit, in walks Mr. Lissemore. Now, Mrs. Lissemore still drove in those days, so we were both surprised. She expressed h
ow astonished and pleased she was to see him, and asked him why he’d dropped by right as she was leaving for the day. I will never forget his response. In fact, I’ve replayed the memory over and over in my mind.”

  He leaned forward again and steepled his hands beneath his chin. “Now I’m intrigued.”

  “As well you should be. It’s the most beautiful love story ever told in my opinion.”

  “Tell, tell. What did he say?”

  “He noticed she left the house that morning without taking her umbrella and remembered that she’d had her hair done at the beauty parlor the day before. He’d come with her umbrella to walk her to her car, so her hair wouldn’t get ruined.”

  Holden’s head bobbed up and down as he absorbed the full meaning of her story. So this is what it looked like to stun the talkative Holden Hearth to silence. “I want someone to think of me like that. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be held so dear, to matter so much to one person.”

  “You’ll find that, Irelynn.”

  The lake glistened in the setting sunlight, and the tall trees that grew around it shivered in the slight breeze.

  “You deserve it.”

  “Sweet Home is so beautiful. No wonder I used to paint its landscapes over and over. I never thought I’d grow tired of it.”

  “Why did you grow tired of it?”

  She’d asked herself that question many times. Maybe because her disapproving mother had worn her thin over the years? Maybe because her overachieving brother received all the attention and praise? Maybe because she’d watched her artist dad loathe his work until the day he’d killed himself? Maybe she saw so much of her father in herself that she feared stumbling down that same, dark path? Maybe because she was already halfway there? Maybe because deep down she sought approval in the wrong places? She managed to muster up strength from deep within and lifted her mouth into a smile. “Thank you for dinner, Holden. I’m ready to go home now if you don’t mind.”