Holden's Heart

by Jayna Morrow

  “I didn’t have any on my client docket, but this is me we’re talking about. It’s all about brains, Irelynn.” He tapped his forehead with his index finger.

  The waitress arrived with a plate of food and set it down in front of Emerson. Then she placed another plate on the table and two sets of silverware wrapped in paper napkins. “Y’all enjoy.”

  “Thanks, Olivia.”

  “You know her name?” Emerson asked after she’d walked off.

  “Of course I know her name. I told you I know the waitresses in town.”

  He began devouring his meal. The French dip sandwich and coleslaw disappeared in record time. As did her coconut pie.

  The sky darkened, making Irelynn uneasy.

  Lightning streaked, the bright flashes bringing downtown to life.

  Olivia came by with a coffee pot and cup, holding it up in question. Emerson nodded, so she plunked the mug down and filled it for him.

  “Irelynn,” Emerson began. “I told you this would benefit both of us, and I meant it. Once I build my clientele and get my business going, then I can focus on our relationship more.”

  She took a deep breath to control the raging emotion flaming within. It had been a long time since anger was within her clutches. It was refreshing. “That’s wonderful.”

  He cared, but it was too little too late. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to yell, “No deal,” like the contestants did on game shows. This was the sort of classic Emerson speech she needed to confirm what she’d known all along. Still, she owed him an explanation of where her thoughts and heart were headed. “Now let me tell you about my week.” She folded her arms on the table and lifted her gaze. “I’ve been working on a new stage of my life, too.”

  “But I haven’t finished telling you about the Nichols account. What it entails.”

  He didn’t need to go into the details. She wouldn’t understand the financial jargon. But he’d explain it to her anyway. “I’m sorry. Go ahead, Emerson. I didn’t mean to steal your spotlight.”

  “No worries, dear. So much has happened in such a short time. Mr. Nichols has more money than I ever imagined, and he’s letting me manage thirty percent. Thirty percent! Isn’t that something?”

  “It sounds intimidating. That’s a lot of responsibility for one person, but I know you can handle it. This is what you’ve wanted for a long time.” She smiled up at him. “The start of many good things to come.”

  He wanted that more than he wanted her.

  “Of course, it means a lot more hours and hard work.”

  “That’s to be expected. You get more of what you focus on, I’ve heard.” Her heart fluttered. “You want bigger and better out of life. Now’s the time to focus on your career.” Textbook madness. Nonsense. But it was what he wanted to hear. And right now she needed his candid reaction to filter out his true intent. She understood this much—if he wanted more of her, that’s what he’d focus on.

  “Exactly.” A giddy grin punctuated his face. “From local to national to international. Landing the Nichols account has inspired me to reach further than I ever dreamed. Which brings me to another important issue I want to discuss with you. Earthshaking, even. Nichols and his connections are based out of Houston, so I’ll be moving that way.”

  Moving to Houston? Had she heard him correctly? Her arms drew up in a protective movement. She banged her elbow on the edge of the table and winced. “I thought you wanted to stay in the Sweet Home area and be the local financial go-to guy?”

  “The big players are old school and hard-core members of the good ole boy network.” His intense stare bored into her.

  She’d never seen him so serious.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to build my business to an acceptable level here, Irelynn.”

  “You’re doing well for yourself already. You have a nice car, a nice home, a nice lifestyle.”

  He shook his head. “I want more.”

  “I know we’re not an official couple, but is this the end of our relationship?”

  “I don’t want it to be,” he replied solemnly.

  A flash of lightning illuminated the front window of the cafe, and a few raindrops pelted the gray sidewalk. It wasn’t enough to be a drizzle. Then it stopped. Mother Nature was taking her time with the light show, holding off the rain for what was sure to be a grand finale. Like the clouds, she withheld her true feelings and took the time to sort through her thoughts.

  “You could move to Houston and find another secretarial position quite easily. I’d help you find a place to live. We’d make some friends and fit right in with the upper crust of Houston society. Think how glamorous our lives would be.”

  “My life is here in Sweet Home. After I moved here, I never wanted to live anywhere else.”

  “Getting away from this small town could be the best thing that ever happened to you.” He took a sip of his soda and then rubbed his hands together. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re patient and understanding. No other woman would be understanding enough to put up with me. I’m busy and not the most attentive man on the planet. You endure it with grace and will be rewarded for it greatly.”

  Is that all she was to him—the woman who would put up with him? And what kind of a reward was he referring to—a life of luxury? Well, she didn’t want it. It wasn’t worth the price. The reason she’d put up with Emerson’s schedule was because she’d thought it would be temporary. There was no way she could live with this forever, not since Holden had shown her how wonderful life could be.

  “Irelynn, what’s going on in that brain of yours?”

  “A lot. You’ve given me an enormous amount of information to process.” She tried with all her might, but couldn’t lift her mouth out of a frown. “It’s overwhelming.”

  “I thought you’d be excited.”

  Realization dripped from the dark cloud hanging above her head and stained the surface of her heart, which was as gray and heavy as the concrete sidewalk outside the window. She glanced away from Emerson and down at the umbrella perched on the table. Good thing she brought it. Any minute now, she’d need it. So much for Emerson’s opinion that it wouldn’t hit until midnight.

  From behind the front counter, the sound of a dish breaking drew her attention. Olivia scrambled to clean up the mess.

  “Are you OK, Olivia?” Irelynn called.

  “Oh, yes. I bumped the counter when I came around and knocked over a coffee mug. I’ll have this cleaned up in no time. Sorry if I frightened you.”

  “We all have our clumsy moments. I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt.”

  “Nope, I’m good. Right as rain.”

  She gave her a nod and turned away.

  Emerson scrolled through something on his phone.

  Irelynn needed to go home, so she reached for her umbrella and jacket. “Emerson, I’m gonna head home and think about this whole situation.”

  “OK, hon. Give me a call later.” He continued texting at a furious speed, shoulders hunched.

  Right as rain.

  She froze with her hand on the umbrella’s handle.

  Right as rain.

  She lifted her hand and walked away from the table with her jacket, abandoning the umbrella. Emerson would hear and see the rain, and he’d rush to bring it to her. Wouldn’t he? To show he cared?

  A few seconds later, Irelynn ventured out into the gloom. She stepped off the sidewalk to cross the street, and a cool droplet landed on her forearm. By the time she made it across the street, it was sprinkling. She shrugged into her jacket and pulled the hood over her head. A block later, the downpour had upgraded to a steady drizzle. But it wasn’t until she plopped down on a bench a half-block from her townhouse that the clouds burst and rain spilled from the billowy formations. She and the sky wept together. For relief in knowing how Emerson felt. And the distress of knowing the difference.

  19

  “Irelynn?” He questioned aloud, rolling down his window i
n spite of the pouring rain. The wind blew and splattered the door and his arm with cool rainwater. “Irelynn, is that you?”

  Irelynn lifted her head at his call. Her halo of sopping wet hair hung around her face, but from this distance, he couldn’t make out any fine details. Still, something had to be wrong for her to be sitting in this weather.

  “I’m OK, Holden.” Her voice sounded hoarse.

  Holden slammed the gearshift into park and shut off the engine, then leaped from the vehicle. He left the keys dangling in the ignition. “What are you doing out here? You could catch a cold.” He reached her side and noticed tears fell alongside raindrops. “Call me Captain Obvious, but it’s pouring down rain.”

  “Nobody’s worried about me anyway.”

  “That’s not true. I’m here...and I think about you constantly.”

  “You drove by and just happened to see me.” She slung her wet hair over one shoulder. “Admit it.”

  “I can’t admit to something that’s not true.” He grinned. “I was on my way to check on you and saw you sitting here. I didn’t want you to be home alone if the electricity went out.”

  “Emerson isn’t worried about me.”

  “He’s an idiot then.” He reached out and took her hand. “Tell me what happened.”

  She wiped at her face and wrung out her hair before giving herself a once-over. Her saturated clothing clung to her skin, and she tugged at it self-consciously. “You were right about him all along.”

  “I’m sorry you’re hurting, but you deserve someone who appreciates you and won’t take you for granted.” He lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. Stunning, even soaked in the rain. Runny mascara and all. “You’re so beautiful.” He cupped her face. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.”

  Emerson’s true colors were visible to him, because he was attracted to Irelynn, too. What had Emerson done to make Irelynn see that his job was more important than she was? He’d had a feeling it would come to this, but he wasn’t prepared for seeing Irelynn in such a state.

  If it was over with Emerson, then she could move on with her life. She’d given it her all. She didn’t need Emerson anymore. No more canceled dates. No more let-downs or disappointments.

  In the short time Holden had known her, her self-esteem had risen dramatically. Emerson proved to be a threat to that progress. She wanted so much in life, so he prayed she’d be able to manage her disappointment and move on. She’d have whatever she wanted in life, whether or not she wanted him. He cared about her that much. His heart had a flicker of hope that she’d see what else he had to offer.

  Her face was swollen from crying. “I left my umbrella.”

  “It’s OK. The rain wasn’t supposed to hit until later. You’re not the only person to ever get caught in the rain, and you won’t be the last. Take a hot shower when you get home and get some vitamin C. Say a little prayer. Chances are good you won’t catch a cold.” He grinned. “Of course, it helps if you have enough sense to come in out of the rain.” He hoped injecting a bit of humor would lighten her mood.

  She blinked, and fresh tears joined the streams of rainwater on her face. “You don’t understand...” She sobbed.

  In truth, he’d never understood the expression so well. His heart dropped like a rock hurting for her.

  “I walked to meet Emerson and took my umbrella. Then I left it on the table right in front of him...on purpose. I saw those first few raindrops hit the sidewalk. It was about to pour, and I still left it there where he’d see it. He, he, he never came to rescue me.” Her voice strained under her soggy hood. “It’s over between us. If he doesn’t know it already, he’ll know it the next time I see him.”

  He scooted closer and draped an arm around her shoulders. She was shaking. He couldn’t be sure what caused it—chill from the rain or emotional torrents from within.

  “He knew I’d walked to the cafe.” She nodded. “Why didn’t he come after me?”

  “I don’t know.” He sighed. “I’ve tried to put myself in the mind of that man, but it’s such a crazy place, I end up running for the hills. I know that he doesn’t value his relationship with you. He doesn’t see what I see.”

  “What do you see?”

  “Right now, I see myself kissing you.” Gently, he touched his lips to hers. He deepened the kiss, and raindrops pelted his eyelids. The rushing sound of the wind drowned out the rapid thumping of his heart. A flash of lightning ended the moment. “OK, we’ve stayed out here long enough. We need to get inside where it’s safe.” He held her for a brief moment before standing and offering her his hand. “Besides, two wet bodies don’t make a dry one.”

  ~*~

  After dropping Irelynn off at her home, Holden ran home with the promise to be right back.

  Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang.

  Irelynn answered the door. She’d taken a hot shower while he was gone and her hair was still wet.

  Now dressed in dry clothes, he’d arrived sooner than expected. She held a damp towel in her hand. He took in her appearance and an adorable grin spread across his face.

  She could tell he was stifling a laugh. She ignored him but caved after a few seconds. “What is it?”

  “You were about to wrap your hair up in that towel, weren’t you? Go ahead, wrap it up.”

  “I’m not doing it now that you’re here. I’ll let it air dry.” She wouldn’t humor him.

  His face went slack, and his lower lips protruded. He was pouting. Actually pouting.

  What in the world was she to do with this man?

  She would humor him. She sighed, then flipped her hair upside down and wrapped the towel around it. She stood upright again and locked the towel in place. A curtsy sealed the performance. She contemplated a ta-da but decided against it. She didn’t want to spoil him too much.

  “Very nice. A good look for you. Of course, I don’t have a point of reference for comparison. Maybe you should model some hot rollers...or a shower cap so I can make an educated decision.”

  “Don’t push your luck.”

  “What’s under those drop cloths?”

  Holden and his short attention span. While she was glad that he’d moved on to something else, this new topic wasn’t any better than the first. She shook a pointer finger back and forth in front of his face. “Now, now. You know my current art projects are top secret.”

  “Not even a tiny peek? Maybe the bottom, left corner of one and the top, right corner of the other? You pick.”

  “I’m not even attempting to figure out how your brain works, Holden. I know you want to peek, but you’ll have to wait like everyone else. Big reveal at the fiftieth-anniversary party...”

  “It seems like a lifetime from now. I do like surprises, but I end up pestering people so much that they give in.”

  She smiled, not persuaded in the slightest. “That may be, but I’m not the kind to give in. I’m gonna make you wait it out.”

  “I know what a headstrong woman you can be. You’re determined, too. I mean both of those things in the very best way. You’ve not only taken charge of the dairy, but you’ve taken charge of your life. The changes have not gone unnoticed.”

  His words sank in, and her smile faded. “From where I stand, it’s the exact opposite.”

  Her words had sounded negative, but this evening, while sitting in the pouring rain, she’d managed to shed light on her life. Two things she knew: that she was as capable as Gabriel believed her to be, and that her relationship with Emerson was as toxic as Holden believed it to be. What did she believe? Well, as indispensable as she was at the dairy, it was a place to lose herself and to keep her too busy to pick up a paintbrush. As for Emerson, she’d allowed him into her life, and she didn’t believe she could do any better. She knew differently now. On both counts.

  Painting, not running a dairy, was her true calling.

  God had given her a gift for a reason.

  And another man, not Emerson, possessed her heart. Thi
s one was a hard one, but God had a reason for bringing him into her life.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I guess I should let you see the paintings since you won’t be here for the anniversary party anyway.” Two could play at the subject change game. Hearing the words come out of her own mouth sent her heart into a tizzy. He’d have to leave eventually, but they hadn’t talked about it. “I’ll try to get them finished before you head back to Dallas.”

  “I’m not going anywhere without you.”

  The world around her fractured. The entryway leaned at a precarious angle. She faltered backward until she bumped the back of the couch. Then she grabbed on for support. “What did you say?” Her heart raced. She concentrated on her breathing.

  “I’m not going anywhere without you, Irelynn.”

  “I thought you owned a company in Dallas.” Undiluted shock wavered in her voice. He stepped closer and took both her hands in his. Her face flushed red, and her breathing came in heavy heaves. This was the man who’d captured her heart, the man who, until now, was out of reach.

  A flash of him pulling up to the curb in his red sports car entered her mind like a bolt of lightning. He was on his way to check on her, and he was worried about her in the weather. He didn’t even have an umbrella.

  Holden Hearth was her hero.

  And he wasn’t going anywhere without her.

  Could it be that he...? No, it couldn’t be possible.

  “I work from home or wherever in the world I happen to be. Computer, phone, fax machine. I can base myself anywhere I choose.”

  Wow. This changed things. She imagined a skyscraper in downtown Dallas and him sitting in a penthouse office at the top of the world.

  “So you can work anywhere you choose—”

  “And I choose to be wherever you are.”

  Fighting back tears of joy, she brought her hand to her mouth.

  Holden let go of her hands and reached for the towel on her head. Gently, he untwisted it and slid it off. He straightened her damp locks.

  “Why’d you do that? I thought you liked it.”

  His expression was serious, very un-Holden.