by Dawn Brower
“You’ll know soon enough.” She would argue with him. He expected nothing less from her. “I’ve decided to push up the wedding date.”
“What?” Her mouth fell open and her face whitened. “You can’t do that. The banns…”
“Will be unnecessary where we’re going.” Running off to Scotland to elope was much easier these days than it had been for his ancestors. A nice train ride and they’d be there in a little over four hours. They could have a small honeymoon in Edinburgh and take in what the city had to offer. He’d sent a groom ahead to procure tickets. Angeline was already packed—why not run away with her instead of after her?
“You’ve gone mad,” she declared. “Our parents’ won’t forgive us for eloping.”
She wasn’t wrong there. Both of their mothers had been excitedly planning the wedding. It was a union both families wanted and were anxious to see happen. They’d forgive him too, and at least his father, and probably hers, would understand his need to rush them to the altar. “They’ll be forgiving.” The carriage came to a stop outside the train station. Lucian reacted before she could bolt from the carriage and pulled her onto his lap. “You understand why this is necessary, don’t you?”
“I think you believe it is,” she replied defiantly. “But these are different times. We don’t have to get married to protect my reputation.”
Who was she trying to convince of that? Him or herself? They both knew that wasn’t true. The times weren’t as archaic as they used to be, but one thing still remained true. A reputation once lost could not be repaired. Angeline wasn’t fooling anyone with that pronouncement. “Oh, Angel,” he said huskily. “This is far more than that. I’ll prove it to you.”
He had to do it. She wouldn’t agree if he didn’t give her something more. Maybe she didn’t love him, but she did want him. He’d seen the signs. Her hitched breath, the flushed cheeks, and glazy eyes filled with desire… Angeline needed him as much as he did her. For now, that would be enough, and it would help lure her on the train. They’d have a private car for the trip, and maybe they could do more than glare enough along the way.
Lucian pressed his lips to hers and tasted her for the first time. He kissed her the way he’d been dreaming of for weeks, not the soft alluring press of lips that had been their first kiss, but one ruled by passion. Angeline participated in the kiss completely and didn’t hold back. Her passion matched his in equal measures. When he lifted his head, her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted. She was far more pliant, and if he pushed he could have taken more from her, and she’d have been a willing participant in her true ruination. He couldn’t wait to marry her and savor everything that made her exceptional. She was a breathing flame, and he her willing moth. He’d gladly succumb to the heat, but only for her. Always her…
Chapter 10
Angeline tapped her fingers on the edge of her seat. The rattle of the train moving on the track lulled her and the rapid beat of her heart. She still didn’t completely understand what had happened or how Lucian had convinced her to board the train. That kiss… It had left her breathless, confused, and exhilarated all at once.
Why had he kissed her like that?
The train was headed to Scotland. When they reached Edinburgh, Lucian fully expected they’d marry, and then she really would be tied to him for the rest of her days. She’d be a marchioness, and one day, hopefully a very distant one—a duchess. Angeline could name several ladies who would be ecstatic at the prospect. Lucian’s title had never meant anything to her. She’d always loved the man and craved his love in return.
Did she really want to marry him without that? Was the passion clearly brewing between them enough? She hadn’t even realized he’d desired her until he kissed her with so much ardor. That changed things, at least a tiny bit. It gave her hope where before she’d had none. If passion existed, it could lead to deeper, more profound feelings.
“What are you thinking about?”
That she’d lost her mind? He would never love her—marrying him would be a mistake. A thousand different things crossed through her thoughts, but it all came back to him. She couldn’t focus on anything else, and she sometimes doubted she ever would. Angeline met his gaze. “Nothing,” she answered, at a loss on how to respond to his question. The truth was out of the question. She wasn’t ready to admit aloud how she felt about him. The very idea of it terrified her.
Lucian sighed. “Soon, we’ll be married.” He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. “Don’t you think we should be able to talk to each other?”
“In a perfect world, yes,” she agreed. “But that’s never been our relationship.” Angeline shrugged nonchalantly. “Why change now?”
When they were children, Lucian had been stiff and arrogant. The only time she’d ever observed him relaxing was when her brothers dragged him off on a wild adventure of some sort. They brought out a different side of Lucian. One Angeline envied and wished she witnessed more often. In some ways, she’d always been jealous of the twins’ relationship with him. She craved that kind of connection, albeit a slightly different one. Angeline wanted to be his best friend, his lover, and the one person he could always count on. She wanted him to need her.
“Because I’d like for things to be different.”
“Why?” She didn’t want to sound petulant, but she didn’t quite understand his motivations. What had changed for him, and when had this profound experience befallen him? “What do you hope to gain?”
“Why do you do that?”
If she could walk away from him and avoid their current conversation, she would. Unfortunately, she was stuck on a train and had nowhere to run. Maybe they should have a real conversation and find some way to meet in the middle. If they were actually going through with this wedding ceremony, they should be able to talk to each other. “What is it you think I’m doing?”
“Deflecting,” he began. “Looking for a problem or ulterior motive when there is none. Can’t I want to become more acquainted with you?” His gaze didn’t waver once from hers. “Isn’t it enough to want more?”
She was acting like a small child who’d lost something essential to her small part of the world. Angeline didn’t recognize herself anymore. If she wanted something more with Lucian, she’d have to allow him in. “I don’t let people in,” she answered. “It’s not who I am—I’ve been told I put out this feeling, and that it is difficult for anyone to truly know me.”
“I have heard that from a few people.” His lips tilted upward. “There are some debutantes that don’t speak that highly of you.”
Angeline scrunched her nose upward in distaste. “I’m sure I can guess who you may have heard unfavorable remarks from, but we’ll save that for a later date.” Her lips turned upward into a smile that probably matched his. “They wanted you and must have thought the way to your heart was to turn me into a verbal pin cushion.”
She had no disillusionment about how debutantes saw her. The lot of them were useless on a good day. Their opinion had never mattered to her, and it still didn’t. Her family accepted her as she was, and Emilia always stood by her. So, no, she’d made no effort for anyone to like her.
“My heart isn’t so easily won,” Lucian said. “And it certainly wouldn’t have been given to anyone who spoke ill of someone I cared about.”
He cared about her? Of course he did… She supposed he always had. They’d grown up together and had forged a bond early on. In some ways he’d always been an honorary Marsden because his father was her father’s closest friend. Their relationship was both simple and complicated. “What do you think a marriage between us would be like?”
“Wild, unpredictable,” he began, “and also familiar—like coming home.”
She liked that description, and it did sound as if he’d considered it long before she’d asked. Angeline wanted to find out if it was at all possible too. Their conversation helped to soothe some of her fears. She’d been so afraid of losing herself in a ma
rriage without any feelings to tie it together. What she had failed to realize was that they had always had those to bind them together. They were friends of a sort. She still had some fears though. Not all of them could be shaken with a little conversation. “That sounds kind of nice.”
He chuckled lightly. “Not the word I’d have chosen to describe it, but yes it does.”
Angeline smiled and leaned her head against the back of her seat. They had a long way to go, but they’d made a good start.
The train came to a stop at the Edinburgh station. Lucian couldn’t wait to exit and find someone to marry him and Angeline. He’d never been so anxious for anything in his life. Their conversation on the journey had gone well. He believed he’d finally reached her and made her accept the future he thought they could have together. They had a very long road ahead of them, but they would have a good life. Happiness was within reach.
He glanced over at her. She’d fallen asleep over an hour ago and was currently curled up adorably on the seat. He hated that he’d have to wake her, but they needed to take the next step in their relationship. In a few short moments, she’d be his wife, and then, they’d be well on their way to being a great deal more. He’d finally be able to make love to her. Maybe after that he’d stop craving her touch as much as he did.
Lucian stood and went to her side. He leaned down and shook her lightly. “Angeline,” he said softly.
She moaned and swatted his hand. “Go away. I need more sleep.” Her voice was endearingly sleepy.
“You can sleep more later in our hotel room,” he told her. “We have another appointment to keep first.”
Angeline rolled into a sitting position and leaned her head backward. She yawned and covered her mouth with her hand. “I hate waking up.”
Lucian could find a more enjoyable way to wake her in the morning. He could pleasure her before they slept for the night and then again when they woke to start the day. He really liked the idea of that, and he couldn’t wait to start implementing it. “Come on, Angel,” he said. “Our trunks are being delivered to the hotel. I need you to come along with me to say, ‘I do.’”
With another yawn she came to her feet and stretched. She stumbled forward, and he caught her before she fell to the ground. Lucan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. He liked holding her. She leaned her head against his chest, and it seemed like the most perfect thing in the world. “You can be wonderful when you want to be.” Angeline tilted her head up and met his gaze. “A girl can get used to a nice Lucian. Don’t break my heart, all right? I don’t know if I could take it.”
He would do his best not to do that. All Lucian wanted was to protect her. That was why he’d gone after her when he discovered her involvement in the suffragette movement. He would always do what was best for her. “I promise to take care of you. You’re very important to me.”
Lucian led her off the train and to a nearby carriage. He’d wired a message to a local vicar to set up a time for them to marry. The laws in Scotland were different, and their marriage could be made legal immediately. After that, all they’d need to do was consummate it, and nothing short of a expensive divorce could undo it.
The carriage rattled on the cobbled street. Angeline sat next to him, her head nestled against his shoulder. With her by his side, he felt invincible. He’d had to work hard to make her realize that a marriage to him was the best thing for her. Lucian hoped that he didn’t do anything to ruin it now that he finally had her where he wanted her. Their history was a bit shaky, and he hoped to overcome it.
After several minutes, the carriage came to a stop outside a small church. Lucian exited the carriage and then helped Angeline. They walked into the church hand-in-hand. Lucian couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so light-hearted.
An elderly man with snow-white hair and wrinkles all over his face came over to greet them. “Hello. It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?”
“It is,” Angeline answered congenially. “Even if the sun is close to setting.”
The old man was pleasant and quite cheerful. “What brings you two into the chapel today?”
“I’m Lord Severn,” Lucian said. “And this is Miss Angeline Marsden. We wished to marry. I sent a wire earlier about our plans.”
“Ah.” The old man’s eyes seemed to light up with pleasure. “I had begun to give up on your arrival. Please, follow me. It’s always exciting to help a young couple start on a new path and a bright future.”
Angeline’s lips tilted up into a serene smile. “It’s definitely going to be different.”
Lucian couldn’t disagree with her. Everything was going to change, and he never wanted anything more. The old man led them to the altar and then gave a speech about love and honoring each other.
“Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East. Communication of the heart, mind, and body. Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun. The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences. Blessed be this union with gifts. Warmth of hearth and home. The heat of the heart’s passion. The light created by both to lighten the darkest of times.”
The old man’s words were inspiring, but Lucian didn’t hear most of it. He couldn’t stop looking at Angeline as if he’d never truly seen her before. He didn’t know when things changed for him. He just knew they had.
“Lucian St. John, Lord Severn, do you take Miss Angeline Marsden as your lawful wife?”
“I do,” he said and had never meant anything more.
“Miss Angeline Marsden, do you take Lucian St. John, Lord Severn, to be your lawful husband?”
He held his breath awaiting her answer. “Yes,” she finally said. “I do.”
“Everything we truly love becomes a part of us forever. So take your time with each other. Let your love’s seed grow and mature with the seasons, to provide you with warmth, serenity, joy and acceptance throughout all the years of your marriage. Love is not a wall; it is a bridge. Love does not confine; it sets you free. It leads, as a pathway, winding, to places unknown and mysterious. With love to light the way, you can meet any challenge, together.” He picked up Angeline’s hand and joined it with Lucians, then said, “By the power vested in me by God and man, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride”
Lucian grinned and did as the old man suggested. He loved kissing Angeline, and now that she was his wife, he could do it openly and as often as he liked. Finally, she was his, and nothing would keep them apart ever again.
Chapter 11
In some ways, the wedding had been anticlimactic. Angeline had been fighting the idea of it for so long. Now faced with the reality of being married to Lucian, she didn’t quite know how to act. Their kiss on the train had been more passionate then the quick press of lips after they’d been pronounced married. Something about that chaste kiss had seemed wrong. Had he feigned passion to convince her to marry him? Could she trust that he felt anything other than obligation for her?
Now they were heading to the hotel he’d reserved for their wedding night. She’d been anxious about marrying him—but the after… She hadn’t even considered that part. He had rights, and he’d probably want to exercise them. Angeline had an entirely different kind of apprehension rolling over her now. She was uncertain what she wanted, but she did know one thing: if she was going to figure out anything, she’d need the time to do it. Hopefully Lucian would give it to her.
“You’re being quiet.” His voice filled the void their lack of conversation had created. “When you’re this pensive, it doesn’t always bode well.”
“I didn’t realize my silence bothered you so much.” Angeline stared out the window of the carriage and swallowed the lump in her throat. “What do you wish to discuss?”
“It isn’t that I have a particular topic in mind,” he began. “It’s more that your silence concerns me. You’re thinking too hard.” He twirled his finger in a circle. “What has you so worried.”
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “You’r
e deciphering my silence as if it means something more than it does.”
Angeline had never had trouble expressing her thoughts, but her inner most feelings—those were hers, and she didn’t share those with anyone. No one knew how much she loved Lucian. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to voice those aloud.
The carriage rolled to a stop in front of the hotel. Once the door was opened, Lucian stepped out and then turned to assist Angeline. She was thankful for their timely arrival and the cessation of their conversation. If she could continue to avoid admitting how she felt for him, she would. Angeline wasn’t ready to discuss anything meaningful with Lucian yet.
Lucian escorted her inside, and they retrieved their room information from the front desk. One of the hotel workers showed them to their room. The entire trek up the stairs spiked her anxiety. She didn’t want to be alone with him, and it made almost no sense to her. Why would she suddenly be uncomfortable around Lucian? She was his wife now. Something she’d wanted for so long… She couldn’t fathom why that fact made her nervous or what she could do to alleviate it.
“Do you want me to have dinner brought up to us?”
And be alone even longer with him? She didn’t think she’d survive… Then again, going out didn’t sound appealing either. It was a meal, nothing more. She had figure out how to relax, and soon.
“I suppose eating up here would be best,” she said. “It has been a long day.” An understatement, as she’d originally intended to sail to America when she’d left home. A part of her still couldn’t believe she’d run away with Lucian and married him. It might take a while for that fact to truly sink in.
“Very well,” he said. His voice had no tone to it and his face had gone expressionless. Almost as if he’d given up on her… “I’ll put in an order with the kitchen. Make yourself comfortable while I’m gone.” Lucian turned and exited the room, leaving her alone.