The Lies We Tell Ourselves (A Southern Heroes Novel Book 3)

by Michelle Heard

  My life has suddenly been thrown into turmoil. My parents have always been my safety net. Losing Dad and not knowing whether Mom will survive surgery leaves me feeling terrified and disoriented.

  Every second scares me, and I can’t even bring myself to think about tomorrow or the day after. I’m losing everything I’ve ever known, and it feels like I’m drowning.

  I’ve read you don’t inhale water until right before you black out. Your instinct to fight is so strong that you endure the pain, but once you let in the water, the pain stops.

  But there’s no way for me to make this nightmare stop. I’m gasping for air, the constant ache making it hard to breathe. I’m losing every person who filled my life with warmth, and it’s sucking the purpose from my soul.

  “Please.”

  I gasp through the merciless agony and pull away from Birdie.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I beg, “Please don’t leave me, Mom.”

  (Present day.)

  Walking inside Mom’s room, the first thing I hear is the beeping of the monitor. The air is filled with the smell of disinfectant.

  I once again wonder how I’m going to get through this life I’ve been given. I buried Dad eight years ago, and although Mom woke from the coma, she’s paralyzed from the waist down and severe brain trauma which brings on epileptic seizures. Every seizure fills me with an ungodly fear because it causes more damage and might kill her, so it’s vital she remains in a calm state of mind.

  Sitting down next to Mom’s bed, I take hold of her hand.

  “Mornin’, Mom. Did you sleep well?” I ask even though she can’t talk much. At first, the doctor said she would regain her speech, but as time passed, it didn’t get any better than a slurred word here and there.

  I wait for her to squeeze my hand before I go on, “Where would you like to go today? Croatia?”

  When she shakes her head, I keep going, “Romania?”

  She opens her mouth, and it takes a few seconds before she forces a word out. “Nn-h-oo.”

  “China?”

  I smile when she nods. I get up so I can load the compilation I’ve made of China.

  The wall opposite Mom’s bed lights up when I press play, and the surround sound speakers fill the room with Chinese music.

  “While you enjoy China, I’m going to fix you some breakfast.”

  Mom smiles at me, and even though it’s weak, it still brings warmth to my otherwise cold life.

  After breakfast, I get ready to do Mom’s speech exercises. Yesterday we sang songs, so today it’s nursery rhymes. Not a day has passed since the accident where it’s gotten easier seeing Mom in such a state. Sometimes I think it would’ve been better for her if she had passed away with Dad.

  Picking up the remote, I go sit next to Mom before selecting nursery rhymes from the menu. Pressing play, the words appear on the wall across from Mom’s bed, and I start to work through each sentence with her.

  Thirty minutes later when we’re done, I get up and press a kiss to Mom’s cheek.

  “I’ll put on instrumental music for you while I’m out.” Placing the remote right next to her hand, I smile down at her. “Just skip a video if you don’t feel like listenin’ to it. I’ll be back after the board meetin’.”

  A smile slowly forms around Mom’s mouth and then she pushes a word out. “Lo-w-v.”

  I smile as the word settles in my soul. “I love you, too, Mom.”

  CHAPTER 3

  “It will be a quick operation.”

  ALEC

  Strapping on the watch Wyatt just handed me, I confirm with him, “Button on the left is to take a photo and button on the right is to record audio?”

  “Yeah, make sure you charge the watch and sunglasses every night,” Wyatt replies. “Once you’ve planted all the cameras, I’ll be able to see what’s happenin’ inside the house.”

  “I won’t be takin’ the cameras today. They’ll probably search me. I can get away with the watch and sunglasses, but anythin’ else might blow my cover,” I say as I glance at the equipment.

  “Make sure you’re either wearin’ the sunglasses or have them hangin’ in the front of your shirt, or I won’t see shit,” Wyatt warns unnecessarily.

  Gathering the equipment, I place them in a bag, then look up to meet Wyatt’s worried gaze.

  Hell, our whole team is anxious. This is our one shot at catching Clay Roberts.

  “I’ll leave the earpiece and cameras in the room at the motel I’m stayin’ at. If everythin’ goes accordin’ to plan, I’ll be able to go back to the motel to pack my stuff. It will be a believable excuse.”

  “Let’s go over the details one last time.” Wyatt pulls the file closer and points at a photo of Roberts.

  “The Target,” I say, then continue with details. “Clay Roberts. Twenty-eight years old. Father is doing time for drug traffickin’. I need to find out where the meth labs are and how they transport the product.”

  Wyatt nods then holds up the next photo.

  “The Unknown. Lawrence Tymes. He used to be Mr. Nicolson’s secretary but now works for Roberts. I need to find out what he does for Roberts.”

  Wyatt holds up the third photo of a redhead woman with striking blue eyes.

  “The Fiancé. Reece Nicolson. She’s the financier of Robert’s operation. I need to get proof she’s involved.”

  We work through all the photos of everyone working with Roberts before I grab my bag and leave the van. I stop at the motel first and hide the earpiece and cameras in the ceiling, then get ready for my meeting with Roberts.

  Walking up the driveway, I see guards situated all over the place. They’re all wearing similar Bluetooth devices and suits.

  Damn, I hope I won’t have to wear a suit.

  When I reach the front door, Lawrence Tymes is waiting for me.

  So, he acts as a butler as well.

  Tymes doesn’t bother welcoming me, so I keep quiet as I follow him inside. Taking off the sunglasses, I hook them on the front of my shirt. The inside of the house is pretty much what I expected, decorated in style and wealth.

  He takes me to where Roberts is sitting behind a large oak desk which takes up half the left side of the office. I glance around the room, not expecting to see anything that can lead to the whereabouts of the meth labs. Roberts wouldn’t be so stupid and I sure as hell won’t be that lucky.

  “Alec, you made it,” Roberts says, getting up from his chair. He walks around the desk and reaches a hand out to me. I let a few seconds pass before I shake hands, then wait for him to talk again. “Have a seat.” He gestures to a couch on the right side of the room.

  I take my time walking over it to it as I say, “Do you have my money?”

  Roberts smiles while glancing at Tymes, who then reaches into the breast pocket of his jacket and removes an envelope.

  “Before I pay you, I’d like to make you an offer,” Roberts says while leaning back against his desk and crossing his arms.

  “What kind of offer?” I ask.

  “How would you like to work for me as a bodyguard?”

  I let out an incredulous huff of laughter, shaking my head. “The place is surrounded with guards. Why would you need me?”

  “I need someone with your skills to protect somethin’ precious.”

  I raise my eyebrow so I’ll come across as showing some interest, but not being too eager.

  “You don’t know me,” I say, trying to bait Roberts into telling me whether he has done a check on me.

  “I know enough,” he chuckles, looking very self-assured. “This is a one-time deal you won’t find elsewhere.”

  “How much?” I ask while glancing at the envelope in Tymes’ hand so I’ll look desperate for cash.

  “Ten thousand a month.”

  Shit, I’m in the wrong profession. Seems it pays to have no morals.

  “What will I be guardin’?”

  The moment I sit down, Roberts chuckles as if it’s a done deal.

  �
�You will guard my fiancé. She’s been receivin’ threats. All you have to do is make sure nothin’ happens to her and report her daily activities to me.”

  Now I get it. There’s no trust where money rules.

  “So basically you want me to watch her?”

  “Yes. Whenever my fiance is on the move, you need to be by her side. It will require all of your time. There’s no such thing as an off day.”

  It means I’ll have to sneak out when she’s asleep to meet with Wyatt.

  “For how long?”

  Roberts thinks for a while, then waves a hand at Tymes. Taking the envelope from him, Roberts holds it out to me. “It will be a month-to-month contract.”

  “Ten thousand a month?” I ask while taking the envelope and checking the contents.

  Roberts nods, and I quickly add, “Will it be cash?”

  “It can be,” Roberts chuckles. “Why? Don’t you like payin’ taxes?”

  “Not if I can help it,” I reply, smiling for the first time.

  “Do we have a deal?” Roberts stands up and looks down at me while waiting for the answer.

  “Do I have to wear a suit?” I get up and shove the envelope into my back pocket.

  “Preferably. We have an image to uphold,” Roberts replies.

  “Can I skip wearin’ a tie?” I ask, making Roberts laugh.

  “Sure. Mr. Tymes will show you around. When Miss Nicolson gets home, we’ll introduce you.”

  I nod and follow Tymes to the door. Before I leave, Roberts says, “Remember, you report to me. You have nothin’ to do with the other guards so don’t bother with them.”

  I nod my understanding then let Tymes show me around. I pay particular attention to the security room where all the monitors are set up. There are cameras in most of the rooms and outside, so it’s going to be a bitch not being caught while planting my own cameras.

  “For the time being, you’ll stay inside the house on the ground floor.”

  “For the time being?” I ask while trying to size up Tymes. He’s in his late fifties, and it looks like he’s never worn anything but a suit.

  “For the time being,” Tymes says, not giving me more information.

  He opens a door and waits for me to walk in first. “This will be your room. There are only two rooms on this floor. Mrs. Nicolson has the room next to yours.”

  “Mrs. Nicolson?” I glance around the room that’s decorated in light green and yellow. It’s way too bright for my liking.

  “Miss Nicolson’s mother. You’ll meet her as Miss Nicolson spends a lot of time with her.”

  I nod then watch as Tymes takes out his phone.

  “We have a new guard. Please provide him with the necessary uniform,” he says over the phone.

  Damn, I just know I’m not going to like this operation.

  “When do I start?” I ask, taking a step toward the door.

  “As soon as Miss Nicolson gets home. If you need to go get your belongings, I suggest you hurry.”

  Keeping in mind I haven’t been searched yet, there’s no way I’ll be able to bring the cameras into the house.

  The moment I’m a safe distance from the house, I say, “They haven’t searched me yet. I won’t be able to plant the cameras.”

  “We’ll have to make it work with just the watch and sunglasses. Make sure you always charge them.”

  “Tell me everythin’ we know about the fiancé.”

  On the way back to the motel Wyatt goes into detail, and I learn he went to school with Clay and Reece. She doesn’t have many friends besides a woman named Birdie Liles who’s engaged to Wyatt’s cousin, Cole Trenton. Even though Wyatt assures me they can be trusted, I’m not letting my guard down if I ever meet them.

  An hour later I’m on my way back to the house, hoping the operation doesn’t turn out to be a waste of time.

  CHAPTER 4

  “I can’t do anything right now.”

  REECE

  Arriving home from the board meeting, a smile forms on my face thinking about reading to Mom. Winding down after a meeting by spending time with Mom always brings joy to my heart.

  But the moment I step inside the house my joy evaporates when I see Mr. Tymes waiting for me.

  “Mr. Roberts wants to see you.”

  I hate being summoned to Clay’s office like I’m an object. There’s really nothing left of the friendship we once shared, and it only serves as a reminder that I need to break off this insincere engagement. I just have to find the right way to do it.

  I don’t bother knocking and walk right into the office. Stopping in the middle of the room, I glare at Clay.

  “You’re finally home,” Clay says, and when I don’t reply, he slowly lifts his head to pin me with a cold stare of his own.

  I’m so tired of this. I just want to take Mom and disappear to a deserted island. But because of the threat to Mom’s life and Clay’s unstable personality, there’s no telling what will happen if I try to leave. First, I need to get a new house and get Mom settled safely in it before breaking things off with him.

  “I want you to meet someone.” Clay gestures to the right of me, making me glance in the direction for a split second before I settle my gaze back on him. I only manage to get a glimpse of someone dressed in a suit.

  “I just got home and would like to check on my mother,” I say, not bothering to hide my irritation.

  I turn around and take a step toward the door, but Clay’s voice stops me dead in my tracks.

  “Alec will be your personal guard from now on. He’ll escort you everywhere you go.”

  What the hell?

  I swing back, my irritation quickly making way for anger.

  “I don’t need a guard.” I struggle to not bite the words out as I look from Clay to the new guard.

  The moment my eyes meet Alec’s an uneasy feeling slithers down my spine. He doesn’t look like the other guards. There’s a sharp look in his brown eyes, and it makes me feel like I’m being hunted.

  My eyes dart back to Clay. “No.”

  “It’s for your own safety,” Clay smirks.

  Clay’s light brown hair and light complexion suddenly pale in comparison to the man standing to my right. Foolishly, I glance at Alec again, and the same apprehensive feeling washes over me.

  Piercing dark eyes. I’m sure the man doesn’t know how to just glance but instead takes in everything around him. Thick black hair which falls to the right side. Unsmiling lips. For a moment I wonder if he even knows how to smile.

  Alec comes across as cold, and there’s a magnetism that only adds to his intense demeanor.

  Pulling myself together, I take a step closer to the door. “I don’t need a guard. Use him somewhere else. Preferably nowhere near me.”

  Before Clay can say anything else, I turn around and leave the office. I only manage to take a couple of steps when I’m grabbed by the arm and yanked back. Seeing Clay’s angry expression instinctively makes me want to recoil.

  “I don’t remember askin’ your permission. He will escort you everywhere. Don’t dare leave this house without him.”

  I yank my arm free from Clay’s hold and reign in my temper. Over the past couple of years, Clay’s become a narcissist, and I won’t gain anything from angering him more.

  Biting my tongue, I turn away from Clay and quickly walk to Mom’s room. It’s the only room where Clay won’t follow me to. So far, I’ve been lucky, and I’ve managed to keep our fights and problems away from Mom.

  Closing the door to Mom’s room behind me, I let out a sigh then force a smile to my face. The smile quickly vanishes when the door opens again, and Alec steps into the room.

  Hell no.

  “Get out.” I almost hiss then shoot a panicked glance in Mom’s direction. Relieved to see she’s asleep, I glare back at Alec. “You will not come into this room. Get out.”

  Not listening to a word I’m saying, Alec closes the door behind him. His eyes flick to my face, and I’m instantly anno
yed when I feel the impact of his gaze.

  He’s not going to listen to me. Shit.

  “Please leave. My mother can’t be disturbed. You can keep an eye on the monitor in the security room if you’re so adamant to watch my every move.”

  The longer he stares at me, the more unnerved I feel. Making the decision to leave the room before Mom wakes, I take a step toward the door.

  “How long will you be in here?” Alec suddenly asks.

  The sound of his voice completely unravels me. The timbre is so damn deep and rich I can only stand and blink at him like an idiot. If he weren’t siding with the enemy, I’d actually consider asking him to read to Mom.

  “Miss Nicolson?” He tilts his head to the side and takes a step closer to me.

  You have got to be shitting me. Why the hell is my heartbeat speeding up?

  Placing a hand over my neckline, I swallow before attempting to speak. “I’ll be a couple of hours.” I’m actually impressed with myself when I sound normal.

  “Do you have any plans to leave the house later?” Alec asks.

  I shove the stupid thoughts away and answer him. “No. I’ll be home for the rest of the evenin’.”

  He nods and moves to open the door. Glancing back at me, he warns, “I’ll trust you this once and watch from the monitor.”

  I can read between the lines. If I dare leave without Alec, I’ll lose my alone time with Mom.

  I wait until the door shuts behind him before I let out a deep breath.

  Damn, that was intense.

  I’m going to have to speed up my escape plans somehow. Shit, now that I have a babysitter it’s going to be so much harder getting Mom and myself away from Clay’s clutches.

  After reading Mom a few chapters, I put on the drama series she’s currently watching.

  “I’ll be back to tuck you in,” I say, then press a kiss to her cheek.

  Leaving the room, I manage to make it to the stairs when Alec pops out of nowhere and almost gives me a heart attack.

  “Can you at least make some noise and not scare me to death?” I snap before climbing the stairs.