Heartsong

by TJ Klune

  “I wouldn’t like that at all.”

  Ezra’s only reply was to nod. He stood with his hands clasped behind him, waiting for Shannon to take the lead.

  “Upstairs is off-limits,” she said, and I couldn’t get over how young she was. “I don’t want you in our rooms. Malik has an office downstairs where he works, and we can use that after we eat.”

  “Of course,” Ezra said. “Whatever you think is best, Alpha.” He looked over at me and smiled.

  * * *

  Dinner was, in a word, awkward.

  Malik stayed silent, always watching.

  Jimmy tried to keep the conversation going, but anytime I tried to answer him, John would tell his brother to be quiet.

  Shannon didn’t look apologetic in the slightest. I didn’t blame her.

  It wasn’t until Ezra spoke, halfway through the meal, that it took a turn.

  He wiped his mouth almost daintily before spreading his napkin back on his lap. “John, was it?”

  John tightened his grip on his fork. “Yeah? What about it?”

  “Are you all right?”

  “Fine.”

  “You’re happy?”

  “Yes.” He didn’t sound happy.

  Ezra nodded, glancing at Jimmy. “And you take care of your brother, I see.”

  John looked at Shannon, who jerked her chin in response. He said, “I do. But he takes care of me too. It’s what we do for each other. We’re pack.”

  “He’s bigger,” Jimmy said, sounding proud.

  “And he’s smarter,” John said, sounding pissed off, but not at his brother. All the venom in his voice was meant for us. I wondered what he’d been told. Why his animosity was so blatant.

  “Good,” Ezra said. “Keeps things even. You depend on one another.”

  “But we can take care of ourselves,” John retorted. “Jimmy may be small, but he can kick your asses if he needs to.”

  “I’m hard-core,” Jimmy agreed.

  Shannon sighed.

  Malik didn’t say a word.

  “I bet you are,” I said. “People make assumptions about things they shouldn’t. I bet you prove them wrong all the time.”

  Jimmy grinned at me.

  John did not.

  “And you’re in school?” Ezra asked as if we were among friends.

  They looked to Shannon again. She nodded.

  “We’re almost done with our junior year,” John said begrudgingly. “We have a few weeks left until summer break.”

  “And are there any other wolves at your school?”

  Jimmy shook his head. “No. We’re the only ones. And we don’t tell anyone about us.” He fidgeted in his seat. “Promise.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Ezra said. “Most people wouldn’t understand.”

  Malik cleared his throat and spoke for the first time. His accent was thicker than I expected, sounding sweet and almost musical. “And you should be studying for finals since you’ve finished, correct?”

  Jimmy groaned.

  John rolled his eyes.

  “Yes,” Malik said. “Such a terrible life you lead. Up, up. I’ll take care of the chores tonight. Jimmy, I want to see that math book open. John, I’ve looked over your essay and made some suggestions. Read through it and make any changes you deem necessary.”

  Jimmy looked like he was going to argue, glancing at me, but John grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward the stairs.

  Shannon looked up at the ceiling as the boys made enough noise for a dozen people. “They’ll hear every word you say, even if they’re not supposed to listen in.”

  “We’re not listening!” Jimmy shouted from somewhere above us.

  “I’m sure they will,” Ezra said with a chuckle. “It’s not every day they get to hear from another pack.”

  Malik and Shannon exchanged a look. “We’re fine on our own. We don’t need anyone else.”

  “Wolves are pack creatures,” Ezra said.

  “And we have a pack.”

  Ezra sipped his tea. “I can see that. Your mother took them in, correct? After they had no one else?”

  “Yes. They’ve been with us since they were little. They don’t know anyone else.” Her eyes narrowed. “And they won’t have to. They’re not going anywhere.” It was a challenge.

  I was alarmed. “Oh, hey, no. Of course nothing’s going to happen. That’s not why we’re here.” And, because it felt right, I added, “And I’m sorry to hear about your mother. Alpha Hughes spoke highly of her.”

  Shannon stared at me without acknowledgment.

  “Why are you here?” Malik asked.

  “Because Alpha Hughes was worried,” I said. “She cares about all the wolves. She’s not trying to take anything from you. Not your pack. Not your territory. All she wants are open lines of communication. We’re better off together than we’ll ever be apart. There is strength in numbers.”

  “Protection,” Shannon said, flipping the spoon next to her plate over and over.

  “Exactly,” I said, relieved.

  “From what?” Malik asked.

  I blinked. “From the outside world.”

  Shannon snorted. “And what would you know about that? Alpha Hughes sits on her throne in her little walled kingdom. She doesn’t know shit about us. What it means to be in the outside world.”

  I glanced at Ezra. He didn’t look at me. “That’s not true. She… she would be here herself if she could.”

  Shannon picked up on the traitorous skip in my heartbeat. “I doubt that.”

  “Be that as it may,” Ezra said, “it wouldn’t hurt to check in every now and then. It prevents… complications. Shannon, if we could—”

  “Alpha Wells.”

  Ezra wasn’t ruffled. “Alpha Wells, if we could speak privately. Just the two of us. I’m sure I can impress upon you what my young friend here means when he says strength in numbers.”

  There was a long moment of silence. I tried to catch Ezra’s gaze to tell him that was a bad idea, that Michelle wanted us to stick together, but he only had eyes for the Alpha.

  Then, “Fine.” Shannon stood from her chair. “Malik, we’ll use your office.”

  He nodded. “If you’re sure.”

  “I am. The sooner we hear what they’ve come to say, the quicker they’ll leave.”

  “That’s all I ask for,” Ezra said. He grunted as he stood slowly. He looked stiff, more so than usual. That car ride hadn’t done his body any good. I’d have to keep an eye on him. “Robbie, perhaps you’d help Malik with clearing the table. It’s the least we could do for our hosts.”

  No, I did not want to help Malik clear the table. But Ezra shot me a look that told me to keep my mouth shut. I knew he could take care of himself, but wolves hunted by dividing and conquering. I just hoped they didn’t think Ezra was the weakest part of us. They’d be mistaken.

  Shannon led Ezra out of the dining room and down the hall. I heard a door shut, and their words and heartbeats disappeared.

  “It’s soundproof,” Malik said. “You understand.”

  I flexed my hands on my thighs. “Of course. She… she seems like a good Alpha.”

  “She is.”

  “And John and Jimmy are good.”

  “They are.”

  I licked my lips. “That’s all that matters.”

  Malik looked amused. “Is it? How kind of you to say.” He stood and began to gather the dishes on the table. Not wanting to seem rude, I rose and did the same.

  He led the way back into the kitchen. The window above the sink was open, and crickets were humming, frogs croaking. I set the dishes in the sink. I was about to go back for more when he said, “Robbie Fontaine.”

  “Yeah?” A burst of laughter came from just overhead. The house settled around us, its bones shifting.

  “Where are you from?” He wasn’t looking at me. Instead, he stared out the window.

  “Caswell.”

  “Always?”

  “No. I… moved
around a lot.”

  “Did you.”

  I rubbed my neck. Ezra wasn’t the only one suffering from the long car ride. “Long story.”

  “We all have those, I think.”

  “Yeah, I guess we do. It’s not… important. I was orphaned when I was a kid. A few packs fostered me. One helped me with my first shift, and I stayed with them for a while.”

  “But?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I liked being on the move. I know it’s not ideal for a wolf. Pack ties and all. But it seemed like the right thing for me to do. I wanted to see as much as I could.”

  Malik turned around, leaning against the sink. “And what did you see?”

  “The good in us,” I said honestly. “The wolves… we may not have the numbers we used to, and we may not always agree with the way things are, but pack is pack. It’s important. I was accepted most everywhere I went. And even though the bonds between us were always temporary, it was enough.”

  “To keep the Omega at bay.”

  “Yeah. Exactly. I was never in any danger of that. I knew myself well enough to never have that happen to me. And then I was summoned to Caswell, and I’ve stayed there ever since.”

  “Summoned? Where were you before?”

  I frowned at him. “Before?”

  “Before you were summoned.”

  I shook my head. It was starting to ache. “It’s not important. All that matters is Ezra came for me, telling me I was needed.”

  “By Alpha Hughes.”

  I didn’t like the censure in his voice, though I couldn’t exactly fault him for that. “I know she has a… reputation. But I don’t know that it’s deserved. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be an Alpha, you know? All that power. But then to be the Alpha of all? It has to take a toll on a wolf. She handles it well,” I added quickly. “Just give her a chance, okay? I don’t know what Shannon has heard. I don’t know what’s happened to her. I know it sucks that she had to lose her mother like she did and become something before she ever thought she would. And I’m in awe of what she’s made here. But I wasn’t lying when I said we’re stronger together.”

  “Temporary.”

  I frowned. “What?”

  “The Alpha of all. Michelle Hughes. She’s temporary. She’s not meant to be—”

  I stumbled. I didn’t know what happened. One moment I was listening to Malik, hearing his words, and the next, the pain in my head detonated with a dull whumpf. My fangs dropped, cutting into my lip. Blood trickled down my chin. I was astonished to see my claws were out as I brought them to my head, pressing my hands against my skull.

  It was

  (little wolf little wolf)

  like I’d lost control, like I couldn’t

  (can’t you see)

  breathe, I couldn’t breathe and I was going to fucking shift in this house and

  (i see you i see you i’ll)

  I had to get out, I had to get out so I didn’t hurt anyone, so I didn’t hurt those boys

  (never let you go)

  because I could never hurt anyone, I could never—

  Malik said, “Robbie.”

  And just like that it was over.

  I looked up as I slowly lowered my hands. My fangs had pulled back, my claws retracted.

  Malik was watching me warily. His own claws were out, and his eyes were orange.

  “I’m sorry,” I choked out as I wiped the blood from my lip. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean—I don’t know what the hell just happened.”

  “You lost control of your shift.” He didn’t move toward me.

  “I know. I don’t know what set it off.” I shook my head, trying to clear the fog. “I promise this hasn’t happened in years. If it had, I never would have come here. Michelle wouldn’t have sent me. I wouldn’t put those kids in danger.”

  His own claws pulled back slowly. “I believe you.” He hesitated. He looked toward the hallway. The only sounds were the house settling and the boys above us. “Can I trust you?”

  That caught me off guard. “Uh… yes? I mean, yes. Of course you can.”

  He moved quicker than I expected. He wrapped his hands around my biceps, his cheek grazing mine. My eyes fluttered involuntarily at the touch of another wolf. It wasn’t sexual, it was instinctual. He was a stranger, but it felt warm. There was a scent to him, something I couldn’t quite catch. It was faded, like a dream. “Tonight,” he whispered fiercely. “After your witch sleeps. Meet me behind the house. Say nothing to anyone.”

  And then I was alone in the kitchen.

  * * *

  “It isn’t much,” Shannon said as she opened the barn door, “but it’ll do for one night.”

  “It’s not the worst place I’ve slept,” I told her, and she looked at me weird. I shrugged. “Swamp. Long story. Lots of bugs. I got a tick on my—you know what? Probably don’t need to tell you that. You don’t need to hear about bugs on my junk.”

  “Right,” she said slowly. “John and Jimmy brought out blankets and pillows. They’ve made you a pallet. Everything is new, so the pack smell shouldn’t be too overwhelming.”

  “You get a lot of guests?” I asked, looking up at the hayloft above us. Two bare bulbs hung from the ceiling, their light low. It smelled like pack, but there was something more to it. Something different. Like there’d been another wolf at some point.

  “Better to be safe than sorry,” she said. Fucking Alphas. Always cryptic.

  “It’ll do just fine,” Ezra said. “You’re very kind, Alpha Wells. I’m glad we made this trip. I believe Alpha Hughes will be pleased to hear of this place and all that you’ve made for yourself.”

  “I suppose she will,” Shannon said. “We’d offer you breakfast, but the boys have school, and I have work. It’s a madhouse here in the mornings. No time for anything.”

  “Not necessary,” Ezra said. “We’ll be on the road at first light. It’s a long trip back, and I know we’d like to be home as soon as we’re able.”

  “I bet you would,” Shannon said coolly. “I’ll keep up my end of the bargain so long as you keep yours.” She glanced at me once more before she turned and left the barn, closing the door behind her.

  We waited until her footsteps reached the house. I opened my mouth to speak, but Ezra shook his head. He slid the sleeve of his shirt up slightly, pressing his fingers against a faded tattoo. It flared weakly, and the sounds from outside the barn became muffled. His magic washed over me in a comforting wave.

  He sighed. “There. They shouldn’t be able to hear us, but it’s not so intrusive that they’d notice unless they come back. I don’t want to make an Alpha angry.” He looked ragged.

  I took him by the arm and led him toward the pile of blankets at the rear of the barn. “What happened with her?”

  Ezra smiled tightly. “She’s young. Hardheaded. Not unlike a certain wolf I know.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  He laughed, though it sounded tired. “She has a chip on her shoulder, and I don’t know if I can fault her for that. The loss of her mother was painful. She didn’t have time to prepare.”

  I helped him down onto the pallet, making sure he had the majority of the blankets. Now that it was dark, the air was cool, and I didn’t want him to get sick. I could deal with being a little cold. “It must have been a shock.”

  “It was,” Ezra said. He patted the blanket next to him, and I collapsed at his side. I stretched, groaning as my back popped. “And that much power without warning would be a lot for anyone to handle. But couple that with the loss of her Alpha and her mother… well. She felt the need to close her ranks.”

  I turned my head toward him, pressing my forehead against his hip. His hand went to my hair. “She told you all this?”

  “She did indeed. I think she just needed someone to listen to her. Someone who could understand.”

  This was uncharted territory. Ezra had known loss, just like the rest of us, but from what I could gather, his was catastrophic. His entire
family had been brutally taken from him. From the bits and pieces I’d collected, rogue wolves were to blame. I didn’t understand how he could know forgiveness after that. I hated the hunters, and not just for what they represented. Everything had been taken from both of us. I could never forgive that. It didn’t matter who they were. I wanted to kill every single one. I would never forget.

  “I’m glad she had you to talk to,” I said quietly.

  He hummed under his breath as he scratched my scalp. I refused to make a sound of pleasure, though I was already practically showing him my belly. “And I’m glad I have you, dear. I don’t know what I’d do—what’s this?”

  His hand left my hair and went to the corner of my lip. He pressed a finger against my skin before pulling it away.

  On the tip of his finger was a rusty flake of blood I’d missed.

  “Bit my lip,” I said quickly. “Accident.”

  He brought his finger up to the front of his face, staring at the flake. “Is that all it was?”

  Can I trust you?

  “Yeah. That’s all it was. We need to get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive tomorrow. I’ll even let you play your shitty music.”

  He chuckled as he lay back against the pillow. “How kind of you. You know, if you actually had some culture, perhaps you could—”

  “That’s never going to happen.”

  I grinned as he swatted me upside the head.

  A moment later, the magic around us dissipated and the crickets began to sing.

  violet

  I dreamed of the forest.

  Of bright sunlight and the songs of wolves.

  In the trees, great black birds croaked.

  The white Alpha wolf prowled in front of me.

  He said, little wolf little wolf.

  I whispered, “Can’t you see?”

  The black birds said, you are the master of the forest.

  I whispered, “The guardians of the trees.”

  The trees began to move.

  The earth shifted and broke apart underneath them, their roots roiling like so many snakes. They left divots in the ground as they pulled back, forming a giant circle around us.

  We stood in a clearing.

  “What is this?” I asked.