Heartsong

by TJ Klune

  He wasn’t afraid, at least not of me.

  His hand wasn’t on his gun, ready to pull it in case he needed it.

  “Why didn’t I know?” I shouted at him. “Why did he do this to me? What the fuck does he want?”

  “I don’t know,” Kelly said carefully, like he was trying to calm a cornered animal. And he was, foolish though it should have been. I wanted to shove him away. “We don’t even know if he had anything to—”

  “Don’t,” I growled. “He did this. He did this. You know it as well as I do. And I laid my head in his lap and thought he hung the moon. I thought he was my friend. I thought he was my family. And you all just let me go.”

  “Fuck you,” Kelly snarled, angrier than I’d ever seen him. “You want to make this about you? Fine. Let’s go. Let’s go home and stand above Alpha Wells and you can tell her how much this hurts you, how angry you are for something you had no control over. I’m sure it’ll make her feel better before she dies. Come on. Come on. What the hell are you waiting for? Isn’t this what you want?”

  Oh Jesus. I couldn’t breathe. I deflated, the ruins of my hands already stitching themselves back together. I bent over, wrapping my arms around my stomach as I gagged. A thin line of spit hung from my lips. I retched, but nothing came out. Kelly stayed where he was, and I was grateful for it. I didn’t want to be touched. He was right, of course. About everything. And here I was, throwing it back in his face.

  I spat onto the ground, my throat working as I struggled to catch my breath. “Shit,” I muttered.

  A car came down the road. It stopped next to the truck. Jessie and Chris. I heard Chris roll down the window. “Everything all right? What are you—holy shit, Robbie! What the hell happened to your hands?”

  “Leave it,” Kelly snapped. “Go. Get to the house. We’ll be there in a minute.”

  “You good?” Jessie asked, and I knew what she wasn’t saying.

  Are you safe from him?

  “Yes,” Kelly said. “Go.”

  She didn’t argue. They pulled away, the sounds of the car fading as they headed down the dirt road toward the house.

  The cuts on my hands were closing, the skin knitting itself back together. All that remained was the blood.

  “You done?” Kelly asked.

  I nodded, spitting onto the ground once more before pulling myself upright with a groan.

  “Good,” Kelly said. “Now I’m going to talk, and you’re going to listen.”

  “You don’t need to—”

  “I swear to god, if you say another fucking word, I will shoot you. You’ll heal, but it’s going to hurt.”

  I nodded, looking down at the ground.

  He stepped in front of me, our knees bumping together. He tilted my head up so I looked him in the eyes. I tried to turn away, but his grip on my jaw was firm. I could have easily broken his hold on me, but I didn’t want to. Not really. His blue eyes were bright, and I thought I could watch him forever, if only he would let me.

  He said, “You know I didn’t leave you. I’ve told you that before, and I wasn’t lying. Yes, we fucked up, and yes, it’s taken a long time for everyone else to come around, but we’re here with you. I’m here.”

  “It’s not the same—”

  “Shut. Up.” His hand tightened around my jaw, applying pressure against my skin. “You don’t think I know that? Because I do, Robbie. Better than anyone else. Because I know you. Because I have loved you for years. And I love you still. No matter what. But this isn’t about us. This isn’t about you. And even if it was, it’s not your fault. If Robert Livingstone has anything to do with this, that’s on him, much like what he did to you. You didn’t ask for it. Alpha Wells didn’t either. Everything he said to you, everything he whispered in your ear, was a lie. All he cares about is destroying everything we’ve made for ourselves, and you’re fucking helping right now. Pull yourself together. This is going to get rough, and I need you, okay? I need you by my side, because I don’t know how I’ll get through this if I don’t have that. So man the fuck up.”

  I collapsed against him. He wrapped his arms around me. I did the same, clutching his uniform as I shook. I took in great gasping breaths, and he never let me go. He didn’t speak, but he didn’t have to. Just having him close was enough.

  “I’m sorry,” I muttered against his throat.

  He sighed. “I know you are. This sucks, I know that. But you’re…. Christ. I need you to be strong with me, because I don’t know if I can be strong for both of us. I’ve tried, Robbie. Through everything, but I can’t keep going on like this.” His throat clicked as he swallowed. “It’s killing me.”

  I pulled away, but not enough that either of us needed to drop our arms. We stood there, in a forest in the middle of nowhere, on a dirt road that led to home, and I knew that I’d do everything I could to keep this. To hold on to it with everything I had.

  His eyes searched mine.

  I said, “I can do that.”

  “Will you?”

  “Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “Anything for you. It’s—”

  He kissed me there, in the bright, bright sunlight. He breathed into me, and I thought he was giving me life, warm and all-consuming. Our noses bumped together. My hands went to his elbows. He sighed into my mouth, and all I ever wanted was a place to call home.

  And here was home, in a person so fierce and wild that I wanted him to tear me apart.

  He kissed the corner of my mouth.

  My cheeks.

  My forehead, his hand coming up and gripping my neck.

  “We’ll figure this out, okay?” he whispered, lips still pressed against my skin. “And no matter what happens, no matter if we stay as we are or get back all that was taken from us, it’ll be you and me.”

  I believed him, even as I wondered if this was going to be one of the last moments we ever had like this.

  Eventually he pulled away, but not before he reached up and fixed my glasses. His hands lingered on the sides of my face. “I see you. For all that you are. For all that you’re not. And I never want to lose sight of you again.”

  I turned my head and kissed his palm.

  “Good?” he asked when he dropped his hands.

  I shrugged, then nodded.

  “I’ll take it,” he said. “Come on. I don’t think she has much time.”

  She didn’t.

  brother

  Shannon Wells died later that night, but not before she told us what she could.

  She was in Elizabeth’s room, the one she’d shared with her late husband. I hadn’t been inside since I’d returned to Green Creek, not wanting to intrude on a wolf mother’s sanctuary. It was bright and airy, and the walls were a soft yellow, like sunlight on a spring morning. And though Thomas Bennett was nothing but ash, I swore I caught the scent of an unknown wolf embedded into the walls and floor and ceiling.

  We didn’t want to crowd Shannon, but we needed to hear what she had to say, if she could say anything at all. She was awake, and her eyes flashed violet. She spoke in a low voice, but not to any of us. At first I didn’t think she even knew we were there.

  She said, “Of course we can go, Jimmy. We’ll just have to wait for the weekend.”

  She said, “Oh, why are you bleeding? What’s happened? Who did this to you?”

  She said, “When I’m with you, I feel like I can breathe.”

  She said, “Mom, look out! Look out for the—”

  She said, “There was this song I heard on the radio. It’s old. Peggy Lee singing about Johnny Guitar, and it made me ache.”

  The Bennett brothers all made wounded noises as if they’d been gut punched. I didn’t understand why.

  And then Shannon laughed a terrible laugh, humorless and sounding almost like a scream. It went on and on until I thought I would go mad.

  She fell silent eventually, hands twitching at her sides.

  Elizabeth sat next to her, cleaning her wounds as best she could. The gashes were red and an
gry-looking, and though the blood had slowed to a trickle, it wouldn’t be enough. Death has a stench, low and sickly sweet, like rotted meat. It surrounded her like a black cloud, thick and overpowering.

  Chris and Tanner stood just outside the room, heads bowed as they leaned against the wall. Rico was with them, muttering quietly about how they didn’t have to go in, they didn’t have to see this, to just stay where they were.

  I wanted to be with them, but I couldn’t.

  I had to witness it. The full extent.

  She deserved as much.

  Jessie moved in and out of the room, bringing fresh towels and bandages, though it was almost pointless.

  Gordo stood on the other side of the bed, Mark behind him, his forehead pressed against the back of Gordo’s neck. The witch held his hand out over Shannon, lips moving but no sound coming out. His tattoos were vibrant as they shifted, and there was a sheen of sweat on his upper lip. His stump was shaking, and the raven was curling into the roses on his arm.

  Ox and Joe stood at the foot of the bed, each with a hand wrapped around one of Shannon’s ankles. At first I thought they were keeping her from jerking her legs, but I felt their energy rolling off them in calming waves, pouring down onto Shannon. Joe’s eyes were red, Ox’s mixed with Alpha and Omega.

  Carter stood at the window, looking out at the forest behind the house. The timber wolf sat next to him, as if on guard.

  Kelly and I were out of the way in one corner of the room, watching, waiting, though for what, I didn’t think we knew.

  We didn’t have to wait long.

  I saw the moment clarity returned to Shannon, the violet fading away, leaving only eyes like frosted glass. She took in a deep breath, her chest rising and causing her wounds to stretch. They made a wet sucking sound that even magic wouldn’t be able to make me forget.

  A tear fell down her right cheek.

  Elizabeth wiped it away before it could fall onto the bed. In its place, she left a streak of blood. It only made things worse.

  Shannon said, “This isn’t a dream.”

  “No,” Ox said, and it was blue. “No, Alpha. It’s not a dream.”

  Her bottom lip trembled. She squeezed her eyes shut. She exhaled heavily, and her face twisted into a rictus of agony that I didn’t think had anything to do with her injuries. Her throat worked, and her hands clenched. “I’m really here?”

  “Yes, Alpha.”

  She nodded. “I made it. They tried to follow me, but I lost them. I don’t know how.”

  “Who?” Joe asked.

  She laughed again, grating and harsh. “Suffer the little children and forbid them not. I never understood that. Not until now.”

  “Where is your pack?” Ox asked, even though he knew the answer as well as the rest of us.

  She chanted, “Gone, gone, gone. They’ve gone away, and I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. I tried, Alphas. I tried to save them. But I couldn’t. It was too much. And I couldn’t hurt them. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt them.”

  “Of course not,” Joe said kindly. “You would never hurt your pack.”

  She shook her head. “Not them. They were already hurt. They were already…. Oh god. John. Jimmy. They were… they were…. Mother! Where are you? I can’t find you! It’s dark, oh my god, it’s so dark. Please, Mother. Please don’t go.”

  I bowed my head as Kelly grabbed my hand. I held on for dear life.

  Shannon continued, speaking to phantoms only she could see. She spoke of flowers and dragonflies. She said she was chasing them, but she would never catch them because she didn’t want to hurt them. She just liked their wings, she said, so pretty, so thin and bright.

  Gordo sighed as he took a step back, arms trembling. He shook his head. “There’s nothing I can do. It’s…. She’s too far gone.” He looked spooked as he turned to his Alphas. “This wasn’t just one wolf.”

  “They were many,” Shannon whispered. “So many. Like ants. Swarming. I went on a picnic once. It was lovely. I wore a pretty dress. I spilled juice on it. I felt bad, but my mother said not to worry about the little things, that stains would wash out and all would be well.”

  “We’ll keep her safe and warm,” Elizabeth murmured. “It’s the best we can do. She will have that, at least.” She nodded at Jessie, who handed her another cloth. Jessie took the red-stained rags that had piled next to the bed from the room. It didn’t help. The scent of blood was sharp. I didn’t know if it would ever leave.

  And then Shannon said, “Robbie. Robbie. Robbie.”

  They all looked to me.

  I blinked rapidly.

  I thought about leaving. Just heading for the door and running as fast as I could for as long as I was able.

  Kelly squeezed my hand as I stepped toward the bed.

  “Robbie,” Shannon said again.

  “I’m here,” I told her as Gordo and Mark stepped back. I took their place next to the bed. I knelt on the floor, unsure if I should touch her. That decision was made for me when she lifted her hand toward me. Her grip was stronger than I expected. For a moment I had hope, but her blood was smearing into my skin, and it was a desperately futile thing. “I’m right here.”

  “Are you?” she asked.

  I looked to Ox and Joe. Joe was furious, though he was trying to maintain control. Ox nodded at me, and I turned back to Shannon.

  “Yes.”

  “You were lost.”

  “Yes.”

  “And then you were found.” She chuckled. It crawled from her throat and died as soon as it left her mouth. “You were blind, but now you see.”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you know?”

  I started to shake my head but stopped. “About what?”

  “What he would do. What he was capable of.” She winced, her body tensing suddenly before relaxing again. “What he would bring upon my pack.”

  Ezra.

  Robert Livingstone.

  I hung my head, unable to look at her any longer. “No, Alpha. I didn’t know.”

  “Because he took that from you.”

  “Yes.”

  “We’re almost the same. He took everything from you. And he took everything from me. But you’re lucky. Because you got yours back. Why can’t I have mine?”

  “I don’t know,” I told her. “I don’t know why.”

  She nodded as if that was the answer she expected. “I heard him. I don’t know how he found us, but he did. He was in the walls. In the ceiling. He was everywhere, and he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t laughing. He sounded sad, Robbie. Like he didn’t want to be doing what he was doing. But he did it anyway. I heard his voice. He said that all this pain, all this suffering wasn’t something he wanted, but it was necessary. And I believed him. I believed him when he said he didn’t want this, but he did it anyway. What kind of person does that make him?”

  “A beast,” I whispered.

  She said, “Malik died protecting John and Jimmy. I told them to stay back, but it was too much because I couldn’t… I couldn’t hurt them. I couldn’t stop them because I couldn’t hurt them.”

  “Who?”

  She turned her head slowly to look at me. Her skin was sallow and stretched tight, like she was made of wax. I thought I heard her neck creak. “The children. Brodie. He… something changed in him. Something flipped. He turned on us. But it wasn’t just him. We were in the middle of nowhere. Nebraska. Waiting until we received word that we were safe. We never heard. We never heard.”

  Joe growled as he shook his head, lips in a thin line.

  Shannon only had eyes for me.

  She said, “They came through the fields. I didn’t know what I was seeing at first. I thought there’d been an accident. A bus, maybe. But they didn’t answer me when I asked what was wrong, and there were so many of them. Their eyes were empty, and I had time to shout for my pack. Time to tell them to run, please, just run, but they swarmed. They fell upon me, and I tried to fight back, I tried to stop them, but th
ey were kids.”

  Her words were like ghosts dragging their chains as they haunted me. “He’s using the children?”

  “Yes. And I begged for them to stop, I pleaded with them to listen, to just listen, that I could help them, that I could keep them safe, but they didn’t hear me. They couldn’t shift, not all the way. But they had their claws. They had their fangs. Just like Brodie.” She moaned, and it sent a chill down my spine. “Brodie. Malik… he was shouting inside the house. I heard him even as they tore into me. Even as his voice came from the fields, telling me this was a warning to all who would stand against him. We weren’t the first. I could feel it when their mouths were on me, biting and tearing. Transference. Like memory. We weren’t their first, and we weren’t going to be their last.”

  Oh no. Oh please no. “He’s killing packs?”

  Ox swore as he took a step back from the bed. His eyes were fiery, and it looked as if he was barely hanging on.

  “Yes,” Shannon whispered. “The ones that took in Omegas. We defied him, and he is making us suffer for it.” Her hand tightened in mine. “I couldn’t hurt them. You have to believe me. I couldn’t hurt them. I couldn’t hurt them because they were only kids. They didn’t know what they were doing. I wish I had. I wish I’d slaughtered them all. Maybe then… maybe my pack would be….” She turned her face toward the ceiling again. “Malik died. John died. Jimmy died. He liked you. Even if you don’t remember him. He talked about you for days. You liked monster movies. It was simple. But it was enough for him.”

  Kelly’s hands settled on my shoulders. His presence was soothing.

  “I shifted,” Shannon said in a dead voice. “And ran. I left my pack behind and ran because I didn’t know what else to do. He let me go. He knew where I was running to. He knew where I’d go. And he gave me a message. For you. For all of you.”

  “Tell me,” Ox said hoarsely.

  “He wants what belongs to him,” Shannon whispered. “You’ve taken that which is his, and he wants it back. He won’t stop until this is done. And everything that has happened or will happen… it’ll be on you until you give him what is his. You can’t beat him, Alphas. Not as he is now. Not with all that he has. He has a hold on them, all the little cubs. They aren’t feral. They aren’t hunters. They’re children. And he is using them as weapons. You have to help them. You have to save them. Promise me.”