Heartsong

by TJ Klune

  “You guys had no idea?” I asked. Then, “We had no idea?”

  Rico snorted. “Nice save, lobito. And no. We didn’t know shit. How could we?” He frowned. “Though I suppose there were little signs, but we didn’t know what we were looking at. The damn wolf came with Elijah. When they first attacked us, there was a moment when the wolf caught Gordo’s scent, and I swear it hesitated, but I always thought I was seeing things. Then there was gunfire and explosions and it just slipped my mind. And after, it was all about him and Carter and how Carter’s a fucking moron who can’t see what’s right in front of him.”

  “He’s figuring it out,” I muttered.

  Rico sighed. “I know. And it couldn’t be coming at a worse time. What happens if….” He looked distant as he stared off into the woods. Eventually he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. We survived the beast and the hunters.” He paused, considering. “We survived you. We’ll survive this too.”

  “Gee, thanks, Rico.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go. I think we’ve got enough.”

  * * *

  The pyre was crude and shapeless, more a pile of wood than an actual structure. But it was enough. As the stars began to appear overhead, as the sliver of moon peered through the fading light, we laid the Alpha to rest.

  Elizabeth carried her from the house, her face stoic, her strides slow and sure. Shannon was wrapped completely in a white sheet, her head lolling against Elizabeth’s shoulder. I could make out the shape of her nose, and at one moment her arm slipped down, swaying with every step Elizabeth took. But Jessie was there, lifting Shannon’s arm back under the sheet.

  Elizabeth carefully placed her on top of the pyre. Once that was done, she leaned forward and kissed Shannon’s forehead, lips moving but no sound coming out. She stayed hunched over her for a long, long minute, but eventually she stood upright and took a step back.

  The wood was slick with lighter fluid and oil.

  It caught quickly.

  The flames burned bright as they leapt up the dark sky, sparks and smoke rising toward the stars.

  We were all silent, lost in our own thoughts as she burned.

  Rico spoke first. “She was an Alpha.”

  “Yes,” Elizabeth whispered, eyes reflecting the dancing fire.

  “What happens to her power if there’s no one to give it to?”

  We all held our breaths.

  Elizabeth said, “An Alpha, strong of heart and mind, mated to one they love most, can give their power away in order to save a life. To a Beta they return, never again to hold the power of an Alpha. Just a story, of course. Wolves pass along the Alpha power to their successors constantly, though usually not under the threat of death. I’ve never heard of bringing someone back from the brink in such a way. Regardless, it was too late for her. And stories are just that—stories.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “We come from the moon. And to the moon we return. Her line has ended. All that she was is becoming smoke and ash. It will rise, and she will hear her pack howling her home. There will be no more pain. There will be no more sorrow. She’ll run free and know only peace.”

  She bowed her head, a tear trickling down her cheek.

  It took only a moment before she was surrounded by her sons, all of them hugging her and each other. Kelly laid his head on her shoulder, but his eyes were on me.

  I wondered if this was how it’d been for them when they’d said goodbye to their father.

  If they believed her words.

  I didn’t know if I did.

  Gordo stood away from the rest of us. He wasn’t watching the fire.

  He was watching the wolf.

  * * *

  When the pyre was nothing but smoldering embers, the pack began to drift away in pairs. Jessie and Elizabeth, Carter and the wolf, Ox and Joe, Chris and Tanner. Kelly looked at me, but I told him I’d meet him back at the house. He glanced at Mark and Gordo on the other edge of the clearing before nodding. He trailed after Rico, looking back at me over his shoulder only once before he disappeared into shadows.

  I waited and watched.

  Mark stood in front of Gordo, holding on to his elbows. Gordo was looking away as Mark spoke. He shook his head once, and Mark all but threw up his hands. He sighed before leaning forward and kissing Gordo’s cheek. “I love you,” I heard him say.

  Gordo winced. “I know. I love you too. I just….”

  “I get it, Gordo. But don’t shut me out, okay? Not about this.”

  Mark stepped away from him. He headed toward me. He checked the pyre to make sure it was dying before he said, “It’s hard on him. He doesn’t know what to think. It’s like a large part of his life has been a lie.”

  “I know.”

  Mark looked at me. “You do, don’t you? Don’t push him, Robbie. It’ll only make him close up more.” He patted me on the shoulder before leaving the clearing for the house.

  I took a deep breath before I walked toward Gordo. I didn’t think I could add anything Mark hadn’t already said, but something pulled me toward Gordo. He didn’t seem surprised to see me. His shoulders slumped, and he shook his head before I could open my mouth. “Look, I don’t want to hear it, okay? Ox already tried, and Mark did too. I don’t need anything else right now.”

  “Okay,” I said. “We don’t have to talk. Sometimes, it’s okay to just be, you know? Without saying a word.”

  He glared at me. “And you think you need to just be near me right this second?”

  I wasn’t intimidated. “I think so. If you want me to go, I will.”

  His shoulders slumped. “Goddammit. Goddammit.”

  “Come on.” I grabbed him by the arm, careful of the stump at his wrist. I led him away from the pyre in the opposite direction of the house. I thought he would protest and pull away, but he didn’t. His head was down, and he didn’t speak, but he followed me willingly.

  I found the perfect tree a little ways into the woods. It was old, the trunk wide. There were green leaves on it, and the grass underneath was springy and soft. I pushed him down to the ground before settling next to him, our backs against the tree.

  “What are we doing?” he asked.

  “Just being.”

  “This is stupid. We’ve got things to do. We need to—”

  “It can wait.”

  “It can’t,” he retorted, but he didn’t try to stand. “Chris and Tanner said they could only reach five out of the ten packs they called. Five, kid. Which means that there are five packs who’ve been torn apart by—”

  “You can’t know that.”

  “Patrice and Aileen have already confirmed one. They said it was a bloodbath. And the children in that pack were gone.”

  I hadn’t heard. I’d been caught up in everything else. “Shit.”

  “Succinct as always.”

  “I suppose I shouldn’t even try to say that we could just give him what he wants.” I looked down at my hands. “What he’s asked for.”

  “Yeah, that’ll go over well,” he said dryly. “Let me know when you’re going to do that so I can make sure to be there.”

  “Worth a shot.”

  He shook his head. “We can’t….” He shifted, stretching his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles. “I didn’t know.”

  His brother. I nodded.

  “How did I not know? They hid it from me. All of them. Another secret.” He knocked the back of his head against the tree. “Elizabeth said she didn’t know.”

  “Do you believe her?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “Yeah. She and I, we have an understanding. But that doesn’t mean Thomas didn’t know. Abel did, at the very least. But I… I should have known. When I saw him. When he saw me. He’s been here this entire time, and he just—I tried a couple of times, to help him. To see if I could break him out of his shift. It never worked.” He flexed his hands in the grass. “He was more wolf than anything else. But I could tell he didn’t like it when I was in his head.”

  “
He may not even remember who he was, Gordo. How long has he been shifted? Years? That has to take a toll on him. Maybe it has to do with being an Omega. Or maybe he’s just lost.”

  Gordo glanced at me. “You sound like you know what that’s like.”

  “I do,” I admitted. “Even though I didn’t know exactly, when I was in Caswell, I always felt off. Like the lines of who I was were blurred or the colors inverted. Like a photo negative, I guess. I didn’t know what it was. I do now.”

  “It’s weird, right?”

  “Yes,” I said promptly. Then, “What?”

  He shrugged. “That even through all my father’s magic, part of you knew. That you didn’t belong there. That you already had a home and you just needed to find your way back to it.”

  I hated what I was about to say, but he needed to hear it. “And maybe that’s the same for your brother. For… Gavin.”

  Gordo tensed. His fingers dug into the earth.

  “Why do you think he’s here? Why do you think he’s stayed?”

  He spoke through gritted teeth. “Because he’s got it in his head that Carter is—”

  “It’s not just about Carter, Gordo. That’s part of it, and maybe a big part, but I don’t think that’s all it is. I think part of him knows. Like part of me knew. And you never gave up on me. You never let me go.”

  “I couldn’t,” he whispered.

  “You fought for me. All of you.”

  “Yeah, kid.”

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if we’ll even make it out of all of this alive. But don’t you think the wolf needs to know we’re fighting for him too? Because he’s part of this. Just as much as you are. Just as much as I am. You wouldn’t let me go. You didn’t forget me, even after all of you were taken from me. We don’t give up on pack. We never have. And we never will.”

  “He’s not pack,” Gordo said harshly.

  I waited.

  “Fuck,” he muttered. “Felt that, did you?”

  “The lie? Yeah. But that’s okay. I don’t need to hear your heart to know you don’t mean it.”

  We were quiet for a long time after that. I wanted to get back to the house, but I didn’t want to leave him here by himself. Even though he wouldn’t say it out loud, I thought he needed me here just as much as I needed him.

  So I stayed.

  Eventually he lifted his arm and put it around my shoulders, pulling me close. I laid my head on him, and he didn’t even try to shove me off.

  “I’m happy you’re here,” he said quietly, as if it was a great secret just between the two of us. “It wasn’t the same without you.”

  I nodded against him. “Can we beat this?”

  He didn’t answer right away. And that seemed to be answer enough until he said, “I don’t know. After everything we’ve been through, all those we’ve faced, this should be just another thing.”

  “But it’s not.”

  “No. It feels different. It’s not just about me. It’s about Mark. It’s about Carter. It’s about all the other Omegas who have had their lives stolen away because of him. And you. It’s about you, because I’ll be damned if I’ll let my father keep the memories from all the times I made fun of you because of your stupid fucking glasses.”

  I laughed. It was shockingly loud here in the forest, and it echoed through the trees.

  He held me tighter.

  And then he said, “I made Kelly a promise. A long time ago.”

  “What?” I whispered.

  “I told him I would find you. That I would do everything I could to bring you back. And I did, but not all the way. And I aim to keep that promise all the way through to the end. No matter what.”

  I felt cold.

  * * *

  They knew we were coming.

  Livingstone was right when he said the element of surprise was gone, if we’d even had it at all. Rico and Tanner and Chris wanted to move now, but Ox turned his focus on the wolves who’d sided with the Bennetts, the ones who’d taken in Omegas. He began to move them into hiding, instructing them to stay that way until he heard back from us.

  “And what if we don’t hear from you?” one Alpha asked, voice crackling through the phone.

  “You will,” Ox said simply.

  I almost believed him even as I wondered if it was already too late.

  But I kept that thought to myself, especially when Ox came to me on a sunny afternoon toward the end of June. I knew what he wanted. I knew what I would give him.

  He said, “I told you once that the day would come when I’d ask you to tell me everything you know. About Caswell. About the wolves there and where their loyalties lie. Do you remember?”

  I could only nod.

  “You didn’t trust me when I told you this. Do you trust me now?”

  Yes, yes, yes.

  “Because I am your Alpha.”

  Yes, yes, yes.

  He stood above me, eyes filling with a swirling mix of red and violet. He leaned forward until he pressed his forehead against mine, and I said, “Oh.”

  * * *

  Green Creek knew something was happening.

  They were wary in ways I hadn’t seen before, and at first I thought it was because they were scared of us.

  But it turned out they were scared for us.

  They stopped us in the streets, asking us what was happening.

  What was going on.

  If something was coming.

  If they needed to fight.

  Will seemed to spearhead the rising concern. He came to the garage even though it was closed, banging on the door until Gordo unlocked the front door. “What’s coming?” he asked. “And don’t tell me nothing, boy. That’s shit and you know it.”

  “Nothing,” Gordo said. “Because we’re going to it.”

  Will’s eyes widened. Then, “You’re all coming back, right?”

  “We’re going to try.”

  Will nodded. “That’s not very reassuring.” He glanced at me before looking back at Gordo. “Has to do with shape-shifters?” He wiggled his fingers in Gordo’s face. “Magic stuff?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay,” Will said, puffing out his chest. “Then you all go do whatever it is you need to do. I’ll set up a patrol around the town until you get back and Carter and Kelly can take over again. It’s what we pay them for. Don’t want them to shirk their responsibilities.”

  Gordo gaped at him as Will turned and marched back out of the garage. “Don’t you worry about the town,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll shoot anything that looks at us funny, be it vampires or beasts or another religious nut sack who takes the Good Book way too literally. I promise you that. Just make sure you come back, Gordo. We need someone to fix our cars for cheap.” He crossed the street, heading toward the group of townsfolk gathering in the diner.

  “Jesus Christ,” Gordo said irritably, though I could hear the pride in his voice.

  * * *

  “Gordo’s pretty pissed, huh?” I told the timber wolf on the final Sunday in June. The wolf followed me as I walked down the dirt road away from the houses. Ox, Joe, and Gordo had spent the morning grilling me about the compound: the wards, the walls, how many people, wolves, witches, the layout. Whether I’d ever used any hidden way in or out of Caswell. I told them there were good people there, innocent people who would want nothing to do with whatever Robert Livingstone had done. And if what we’d heard was true, if he had taken control of children, we’d have to be careful. This wasn’t like what they’d faced before. They couldn’t just kill indiscriminately. Kelly had told me what happened with Richard Collins and the hunters led by Meredith King. This thing we were doing, this absolutely crazy thing, couldn’t be like what they’d done before.

  Ox looked grim when he said we would do everything we could not to hurt any of the children.

  That should have made me feel better.

  It didn’t.

  And it didn’t help when Ox and Joe anno
unced they wanted Kelly and me to stay behind.

  Before I could snarl at them, demanding to know what the fuck they were thinking, Kelly said, “No.”

  Joe frowned. “Kelly, I don’t…. I know you think you need to be there. But you’re human. You could get hurt.”

  “So could I,” Jessie said. “Are you going to tell me to stay behind?”

  “That’s not—”

  “Me too,” Rico chimed in. “Go ahead, alfas. Say it to my face. Say, ‘Rico, you handsome devil, you’re staying right here in Green Creek while the rest of us ride off to kick some ass.’ Say it. I dare you.”

  Joe threw up his hands. “I’m not trying to piss anyone off. But Kelly can’t—”

  “Maybe don’t worry about what Kelly can’t do and focus on what he can do,” Jessie retorted. “He’s not a wolf anymore, but that doesn’t mean he’s weak. He’s one of us.”

  “Motherfucking Team Human,” Rico agreed. “We had to open up enrollment since lobito here tried to eat up half of our membership.” He kicked me in the shin. It hurt. “No offense, little wolf.”

  I glared at him as I rubbed my leg. “None taken.”

  “And you need me,” Kelly reminded them. “We go as a pack. All of us. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Stronger together, remember?”

  “What about Robbie?” Joe asked, sounding apologetic as he glanced at me. “We know what Livingstone is capable of. What he’ll do. What he’s already done. Can we really take the chance that he won’t try to trigger Robbie? If we’re in the middle of a fight, we can’t be worrying about whether or not we’ll literally get stabbed in the back.” He winced. “Sorry, Robbie.”

  I tried to keep a straight face, even though it hurt to hear. He had a point. We didn’t know just how far Livingstone’s reach over me extended.

  Gordo stepped in, though he sounded unsure. “We’ll shore him up as best we can. Patrice and Aileen are coming back to Green Creek with as many wolves and witches as they can. I can’t make any promises, but we might be able to keep my father from triggering him.”