by King Ellie
Phoenix pulls away from torturing me some more too. He pulls my panties and jeans back up as he stands. Bowie spins me to face him and he growls like I have activated some sex demon in him. The look he’s giving me is downright panties melting and scary as fuck. Phoenix presses behind me and I feel his hands everywhere. He pinches a nipple hard and when I scream out, Bowie grabs my jaw, tilting my head and he kisses me hard. My fingers find their next victim, his biceps. He flexes and it makes me want to jump both of them now.
How do you describe a kiss? One that takes every part of me to a different time; back to the first time I gave my body to them. The only boys that I chose for myself. Bowie pulls away from me and presses the open button for the elevator. Phoenix walks me out and then he gets back in. They both look like they want to sex me into a coma, but Bowie presses the button for the elevator to shut. As it shuts, both of them smirk and as if they had one thing on their minds, they speak at the same time. “One week…” I shudder as the doors shut.
Neither of these men have ever forced themselves on me, instead they made me feel alive. I gave them everything and I will never take it back.
“Nixy…” I call his name out as my nails dig into his back.
“Aw baby, I love you,” Phoenix grunts in my ear. I shudder at his voice and the way he makes me feel as he moves inside of me.
I have never been taken so roughly in the most enjoyable way. No one has ever made me feel like sex was meant to be good. Phoenix changed my view on sex and replaced every single bad touch that was ever laid on me.
“Let me see you,” I beg Phoenix.
Phoenix opens his eyes as he lifts my legs, placing them over his arms. He holds me in this position as he takes every part of me and gives me every part of him. “Tell me all your troubles, Bams and I promise to take them on. I see the sadness in your eyes and I can shield you. I can protect you, just tell me.”
I gasp as he picks up speed, driving me closer and closer to the edge. Phoenix plays with my clit, something I didn’t know was meant to be touched, yet he did it. I muffle my moan, but the anger he displays in his eyes tells me he wants to hear it. His next touch sends me into overdrive and I cum while I sob. I sob for the girl who was shown sex in the wrong and needed to be shown the right way. I sobbed for the girl who lost her mother, trusted her stepfather to do right but he didn’t, instead he took that opportunity to take advantage of a lost, grieving girl.
That was the start of my sobbing sexually because the moment Phoenix pulls away, Bowie appears and I know it’s not a magic trick, I just didn’t hear him come in. He looks at me as Phoenix kisses down my body and I get so transfixed in those moments by his gaze. There’s no way that I can even look away, even if I wanted to. Bowie removes his shirt and I notice the blood. He doesn’t care though as he cracks his neck side to side and removes his jeans. He’s gone commando which tells me he just came from another underground fighting matching that he refused to tell me about.
Phoenix climbs off me but he stays close. He wraps his arm around my middle and pulls me into him. I can’t take my eyes off Bowie as he lowers himself on the bed. He pulls me into a kiss, and I kiss him back just as hard. I’ve missed him. He stops kissing me and he lays his forehead on mine. “Hi,” I say to him.
I feel as Phoenix lifts my leg up and I feel Bowie at my entrance. I arch my body into him, letting him know how much I want him. I didn’t think I’d enjoy sex of this magnitude, let alone be able to be with two boys, but I do. Bowie sinks inside of me and he shudders. He doesn’t move for a second as he shuts his eyes. I feel Phoenix’s body right behind me. Bowie doesn’t open his eyes as he moves. I can’t help but enjoy this sensation. Bowie moves his head to lay his forehead on my shoulder. He fucks me like the world is ending and I lose myself in him even more. I feel liquid on my shoulder, but as soon as I open my mouth to ask, Phoenix slams his hand over it. “I love you,” Bowie says to me and keeps thrusting inside of me. “I love you so goddamn much, Bams,” he repeats and I know he’s crying but I don’t know what happened.
Phoenix removes my hand and I don’t ask him what’s going on, instead, I give him what he deserves. “I love you too, Bowie Hanlon. With everything that I have.”
I never thought I would ever heal from that part of my past but as I wrap my arms around myself thinking about these two men who have changed my life tremendously, I realize the past me, should’ve written a letter to the future me.
Dear Bambi,
You were a lost girl at sea holding onto your mother’s hand, but she let go too early. You had no one, and the man you trusted stole every part of you from you. He demolished it and made you an empty shell. But you’ll do right. You’ll get two unique individuals who will make you whole. They may be as broken as you are but they can take all of that away. Don’t hesitate the first time, not even the second time… jump all the way in because you found the answer to it all. To replace a monster, you don’t get a hero to do it… You get an even bigger monster; two men who combined can be the one complete monster. Be careful because you’ll fall hard and they will fall even harder. Be ready to face the consequences for accepting such a ‘monster’ in your life. They will never go away because they gave you every part of themselves replacing the parts you lost.
But ask yourself, what do you really see when you look at them? Do you see a monster, or do you see more?
Because I see the beginning of the rest of your life.
X.O.
Chapter 10
Phoenix
“What is this I’m hearing that you and Bowie want to get married to the same girl… again?” Andres, the man who raised me, looks me in the eye.
The signature Bishops gray eyes stare at me. When I was younger, his glare used to scare me, but as I get older, I realize it’s his way of just being concerned. Don’t get me wrong, Andres Bishops is not someone to look in the eye and fuck with. As honest and good of a person as he is, he’d turn around to slit your throat in less time than it would take you to tell him you’re sorry.
“We gave her a week. She’s our wife.” I shrug my shoulders.
Andres chuckles and shakes his head. “I know, cabrón. Now, listen to me, we’re going to have to play this right. We’ve got some heat from stupid ass Esposito, so I need you sharp. Make sure that Bowie is ready and aware because he’s the celebrity. I chuckle. “You a fan?” I tease.
Andres rolls his eyes. “The kid’s got a voice. I can’t deny that shit but seriously, you bring a lot of shit talking but his fan base is fucking insane.”
I nod. “I know. I’ve been checking things double time and don’t tell Ry, but I make sure nobody is trailing him either. He’s with Esposito’s daughter and no one touches my brother.”
Andres smiles. “I know how protective you are of him. If he knew half of the shit you did for him, he’d kick your ass because his big ass thinks he can do it all alone.”
I chuckle, then my demeanor grows somber. “What about you, Papà? How are you holding up? Have you been talking to someone about this whole thing with what happened to Natasha? You can talk to me, you know?”
Andres sits back on my couch; he’s not used to being out of his estate. This is a whole new ballgame for him. He stares out at the floor to ceiling windows that showcase the sun that’s setting.
“I don’t know man; I mean I rarely talk to anyone but you about this shit. I just, she was my wife you know, but she hurt my Ainslee. She left marks on her body in places I couldn’t see. She doesn’t deserve my love, kid.” He looks at me with anger so palpable in his eyes I know Natasha is turning in her grave. I would know, I found her first and buried her.
“I get it. I really do. If Bambi ever did that I’—.”
“She won’t,” He answers, then smirks. “You’re thinking of having children with her? You never wanted kids.”
I shrug. “I don’t know, Papà. I just, I want her to understand that I love her. This is the only way for me. I can’t not love her plus us th
ree never sat down to discuss it. Back then, we were kids, now, it’s not like any of us have kids to consider or something.”
Andres nods. “Yeah, that’s smart. It’s something for you three to sit down and talk about. Maybe one of you doesn't want children and how is that going to impact the rest of you that are involved in this. Gotta make the make or break shit, ya know? Plus, I know you can’t not love her. This is who you are and who you’ve always been. It’s not you.” He sits up and clears his throat. “I’ve got to go take care of something on the States side and then when I come back, we’re doing a wedding even if your bride doesn’t want to.”
I glare at him even though I’m grinning. “She’ll want to. I don’t care if I have to drag her little ass to the altar.”
“What about Bowie? Does he want a wedding?” Andres says.
As if someone summoned him, Bowie comes out of the spare bedroom. He was napping off a headache he got. “No, I don’t fancy a wedding but I will walk her down the aisle. She may not think she does but she deserves the ceremony on top of the world,” he answers as he goes over and says hi to Andres.
Bowie has got to be the only person on Founder’s Island that isn’t afraid of Andres. I sometimes wonder if Bowie could kill me in my sleep but from when I could last remember as kids, Bowie has never once been scared to approach or engage Andres in a conversation.
Andres shakes his head. “You’ve got to be the only people I know to ever use the legalization of Poly marriage to its full extent. Most people don't even bother.”
Bowie sits back on the couch and nods, “Some people are fools on this Island, and I refuse to be one of them.”
Andres nods. “True, so are you both sure that Bambi wants to do this? Once again, I have to ask.”
“We’re doing this,” I interject. “and as for what you have to take care of, let me. It’s my present to you.”
Andres snorts. “The fuck? I’m not getting married, dumb-ass.”
I laugh. “Oh well. Still, you’re not going stateside without me. I’ll tell Ry to stick with Ains.”
Andres rolls his eyes. “Fine, but since you’re coming heard you’re moving to the other homes in the community with Ainslee.”
“Yep. My wife and this bastard are moving in with me,” Bowie says.
I roll my eyes. “Don’t say it like that. Like I didn’t agree or some shit. You don’t drag me around, bitch.”
Bowie throws his head back, laughing. I’ve truly missed this fucker. “Dude.”
“Anyway,” I continue talking to Andres. “I’m taking Ry.”
“Which means you take Guinevere.”
“That’s Orion’s problem.” I snicker.
After a pause, Andres speaks again. “This might be good for us though because you’re always a distraction for the media and now, the two media whores in one house sharing a wife? Gold.”
“We’re not sharing her because we’re not giving each other separate time. She’s ours for good.” Bowie corrects without batting an eyelash.
Andres chuckles. “You’re still the same punk kid I tried to kick out of my fight clubs. Always ballsy.”
Bowie winks at Andres and Andres glares at him. Andres rolls his eyes and looks back at me. “We need this because I’m going to fucking annihilate Esposito and his men for fucking with me and mine,” he says with no hesitation, which means he trusts Bowie much more than he trusts others around him. “So, stay in the media and give them something to talk about. Look at you, eyes practically fluttering from the media attention, you little media whore.” Andres teases.
I shake my head, laughing. “Thank you? The fuck?”
Andres shrugs. “What? It’s true. You’re a fucking magnet for drama. They always catch you doing some shit. At least, now they’ll catch you getting married. Keeping your dick in your pants.”
I snort. “You’re so full of shit, Papà. Your compliments are so backwards. Fucking ridiculous.”
Andres laughs. “Shut the fuck up and cook me something. I’m a widow.”
I chuckle getting up heading towards my kitchen. “What the fuck? This is abuse of power or some shit. Anyway, what are you hungry for?”
“You make the best Empanadas. Make me those and get me some black coffee.”
“You need a girl, not me making you shit.”
“I’m in mourning,” he says. I turn to look at Andres, and he gives me his attempt at a sad face. Scary motherfucker. I laugh. I wouldn’t wish for another man to raise me, even if we got another chance to do it all over again.
“Include me, please and thank you,” Bowie says.
“Uh, no? I’m not a fucking chef or maid for that fact.” I answer back.
“You see, the type of man I have to spend the rest of my life with?” He says to Andres.
I laugh. “Dude, this is why they thought you were gay when we were younger, you say shit so weirdly. You sound like your cousin.”
Bowie snorts. “Jag would marry Oran just to say that he’s married to a man but he’s still getting pussy. To be even more extra, he’ll let everyone know he’s straight but still has more game than anyone else,” he says.
Andres and I laugh. “So basically you?” Andres asks.
Bowie laughs. “Jagger and I are the same person in different bodies. Mine is hotter than his though.”
I laugh, leave it to Bowie to compliment someone, especially his blood and in the same breath, call them uglier than him.
Bowie
“How long are you going to be gone for?” Phoenix asks.
“Aww, you miss me already?” I tease.
He rolls his eyes. “No, asshat. Just wondering since I’ll be away too.”
“You worried about our girl?” I ask.
Phoenix nods. “I know she’s a strong ass person, but you know how she gets. I just don’t want to think we’re not going to be there if she calls.”
“I don’t think she’s going to call us. She’s trying to show us she can make it without us for the week. That she can do this without us like she’s been doing before but she doesn’t get it, it was easier because we were kids who had no control, no right to shit,” I say.
“True.” Phoenix sits back as he flips through channels. This is what he does when he’s thinking idly. I didn’t think he’d still be doing that. I pick up my acoustic and I place my notebook on the side of me. I shut my eyes, place my feet on the coffee table, and lean my head back.
I say nothing as my mind wanders and the music comes to me. Not the lyrics but the notes for the guitar, the rhythm. I already know what I’m going to play on the drums and on the piano too. I hum it but nothing comes.
“You’re still having a hard time finding the lyrics?” Phoenix says.
“Should I be surprised that you know that?” I ask, not opening my eyes.
“I know everything plus; it was in the tabloids. Said that you had a co-writer who said they did all the work?” He says.
I right my head, and I look at him. “Yes, I slept with her and she got mad because I didn’t want to make our relationship public. You know me, even though I’m in the limelight, I don’t like to do all that. It’s not me.”
Phoenix nods. “I know. You were never the type to flaunt until it came to Bambi. That’s one girl you could never keep quiet about. You talked about her more than I did. I know more than half of your songs are about her. She probably is going to act clueless.”
I snort. “She would. It’s not Bambi if she doesn’t deny something. Plus, how did you know it’s about her?”
Phoenix cocks his brow. “I know every part of her. I can shut my eyes and envision her body, although you’re going to have to update your songs because she’s not that girl anymore. She’s a grown woman now. She looks delicious now.”
I grin. “That she does. She filled out really well.”
Phoenix nods, agreeing with me. I laid back again and this time; I concentrated on the first time I saw her again. The look in her eyes, the intense feeling o
f love that I once closed down open up again. The lyrics come to me.
I don’t deserve you… Every part of you shouldn’t be mine but it is.
The epitome of beautiful is in the shape of a small woman with a big heart.
Love overflows even when I’m not sure what to do with it.
I had a dream… You were here.
Everything was clear.
Your love was near...again.
The epitome of beautiful is in the shape of a small woman with a big heart.
Chapter 11
Bambi
Something doesn’t feel right. It’s officially been a week, today is Sunday and I’m at the gallery door. We’ve been closed for the past ten minutes and I haven’t stopped staring at the door while I sit on one bench.
“Waiting for someone?” Sasha asks.
I don’t turn towards her, but I shake my head. “No.” I say in a small voice. I hear the trembling of my voice as I say that, and I wouldn’t believe myself either.
Something is wrong and I know it because there’s no way Phoenix or Bowie can leave me alone for a week. I blink twice. Why do I feel like this? I shut my eyes feeling like I’m about to have a panic attack, it’s been so long since this happened. My last one was right after Phoenix walked out of the door. I knew he wasn’t coming back.
I hear the chiming of the entrance and I look up, hopeful but I frown when I notice Andres Bishops himself. His men are behind him and another is still holding the door open as he walks in. My heart beats. The first time I saw him was when he stepped into my house after Phoenix left. He stepped over my stepfather and sat me up. He removed his suit jacket and the clean dress shirt off his back. He covered my naked body with his dress shirt with such care; I didn’t understand.