Down the Ice, and Other Winter Sports Stories

by Harold M. Sherman

  IN WRONG RIGHT

  They picked me to do the dirty work because I was a special friend ofEddie Summers and they didn't think he'd suspect me.

  Eddie was the leader of the freshest bunch of Freshies that ever gotfresh at Lillard High. He'd made things miserable for us Sophs all yearand the worst thing about it, he'd slipped out of every trap we'd setfor him. The other Freshies didn't cut so much bait with us. Eddie wasthe rudder to the Freshman ship ... and once we put the rudder out ofcommission we knew the first year boat would flounder like a fishtrying to make a cross country hike.

  Pete Dean, leader of our forces, had prided himself on being acommander-in-chief second only to General Pershing and a few othernotables not worth mentioning. To have an insignificant mortal, wearingthe green skull cap insignia of the Freshman ranks, consistently outwitand thwart his best laid plans for keeping the first year fellows intheir places, was only to add fuel to the day when the Sophs shoulddrive through to a high and mighty revenge.

  "He can't get away with it every time," Pete insisted, the morningafter we saw the Freshman colors of green and white rippling in thebreeze from the reed-like flag-staff on top of the Lillard High belfry.

  "But who's going up and get those colors down?" I asked, not caring tovolunteer for reasons plainly obvious!

  "If anyone'll tell me how that human fly climbed up there and tiedthose colors to the top of that flag pole without breaking his neck anddislocating both ears ... I'll get it down!" exploded Pete.

  But he knew blamed well that nobody could tell him! And anyhow, whenPrincipal Sawyer spotted those colors he posted a notice on thebulletin board saying that he'd expel anyone who tried to take 'em down.

  Obadiah Erasmus Tucker got hot under the collar, too. The idea of anylower classman cutting such capers! As president of the StudentGovernment League he felt called upon to declare himself against allstunts and hazing. Obadiah was a Senior now and he'd never gotten overthe humiliation of having to wear a green cap his Freshman year.

  I wish you could have seen Obadiah. He was the personification ofdignity plus. No wonder they elected him president of the UnitedClasses of Lillard. He never did anything improper. He was a polishedexample of law and order. And how he loved to enforce regulations!Obadiah looked upon "his truly" as the exalted head of a school courtfor the promotion of inter-class peace. The Seniors held the balance ofpower in this funny government which Obadiah had helped to form,because the Seniors were supposed to be the most experienced. The otherclasses were represented according to their place in the scheme ofthings. Real important decisions had to have the endorsement of thefaculty but we got a lot of fun out of thinking that we governedourselves anyway.

  I guess a person has to have dignity to be looked up to ... or elsethey must be tall. Obadiah was both. He was the tallest fellow inschool besides holding his head the highest. Eddie Summers was the onlyone who could come near him for altitude. Obadiah looked like a pieceof pulled taffy. Everything about him was long. He had a long face, along nose, a long neck, long arms and longer legs. Maybe that's why itwas so hard for him to unbend ... lots of longitude but hardly anylatitude. His face was so long that he couldn't laugh with it. Nothingever seemed to strike him funny. I'll bet you couldn't have tickled himif you'd teased the bottoms of his feet with a straw. And if youlaughed at anything yourself he acted like you'd violated half theconstitution which called for a respectful attitude at all times.

  Honest, Obadiah had us thinking he was a Swiss cheese and we didn'tamount to anything but the holes. He was very important and superior. Iguess now it was because he wore double-lensed, shell-rimmed glassesand his hair always stuck up straight on his head. The glasses used touse his nose as a toboggan slide and he was always taking a long fingerand shoving them back up where they belonged. He had just about as muchtrouble with his pants. Every time he sat down he pulled up about ayard of the legs so's he wouldn't stretch the creases out of the knees.

  But I started to tell you about the Freshies and the sweet little job Iwas picked to handle. You can imagine how good the Freshies felt atgetting their colors up to stay. And you won't have to twist yourimagination out of shape to figure what an eyesore those colors were tous, being the first thing we saw coming to school and the last on goinghome, as the belfry could be seen several blocks away!

  The oldest landmark about Lillard High was the watering trough. Itstood between the sidewalk and the road, just off the campus on Jamesstreet. There weren't many horses left in Lillard to use the trough butthe water was artesian and many folks used to get it to drink. The townhad run a pipe up on the outside of the trough next to the sidewalkwhere folks could wet their whistles. The trough was about ten feetlong, three feet wide and four feet high, made of concrete. There weresteps leading up to the fountain from the sidewalk. The basin of thetrough was about thirty inches deep and covered with specimens of mosswhich the botany professor said was full of Amoebae.

  It had been the history of Lillard High that when any fellow got toofresh he somehow got acquainted with the watering trough. The water,coming from a well, was about as cold as water could be. One plunge inthe trough was usually enough to shrink swelled heads or cool anyone'sambition.

  "I can't help it if it is mid-winter," declared Pete Dean at a specialcalled meeting of the Sophs, "We've got to put a stop to Freshy rule.It's the trough for Eddie Summers...!"

  "A guy with that name ought not to mind the winter," remarked one ofour class wits, which was me.

  "That being the case, you're elected to assist in the dousing program,"delegated Pete.

  "No fair! Just because I live next to that bird's no sign...."

  "Oh, come on! You know him better'n we do. You've gone around together.It 'ud be a cinch to...."

  "Well, what's your plan?" I asked, coming to the point. I was just asanxious to see Eddie hit the trough as anyone else. He might have beena friend of mine but class strife was class strife!

  "My plan's this," outlined Pete. "Obadiah's laid down some prettystrict rules and we can't afford to get caught, so we've got to getEddie alone when there's no one to see us or help him out. The besttime's after dark ... say, tomorrow night ... and the only way to do itis for Ralph here (pointing at me) to find some excuse for going outwith Eddie and lead him by this trough. We'll be hiding and we'llpounce upon him so quick he'll be in the icy deep before he knowswhat's hit him!"

  The fellows liked the idea fine ... all except me. I'd a lot ratherhave been one of the dousers because it wasn't likely Eddie would beable to figure out who they were. But I was sure to catch it in theneck as soon as the Freshies heard about it.

  "Here's your chance to be the class martyr," offered Pete. "I only wishI was in your shoes!"

  "So do we!" chimed in the other fellows with all sorts of enthusiasmsince they knew they couldn't be.

  There was no use trying to crawl out of it. I was the unanimous choiceand according to Roberts' rules of order my say didn't count. The nextthing was to hit upon a scheme for luring Eddie out of the house to thescene of his Waterloo. We'd occasionally gone to the movies togetherand it struck the bunch as a logical idea for me to date Eddie up. DougFairbanks was opening at the Grand theatre in "Robin Hood" and Eddiewould be crazy to see that because he had always imagined he resembledDoug. The only resemblance I could see was that Doug and Eddie bothbelonged to the human race ... but we won't argue about that.

  Well ... when I asked Eddie if he'd like to go, at noon-hour the nextday, he hesitated a few moments as if thinking, then said, appreciativelike, "Don't care if I do!"

  "Good! I'll call for you at the house at seven-thirty tonight," Ireplied, my heart pounding sort of funny.

  That afternoon word was passed around among the Sophs that the duckingwas going to be pulled off as per schedule. James street was theshortest way down town. We lived half a block off James street on Adamsstreet and it was a sure bet that we'd take the one and only route downpast the watering trough on our walk to th
e Grand theatre.

  It was cold enough to wear an overcoat when I set out from the housethat night. I almost thought I was going to lose my nerve ... it seemedlike such a shame--taking advantage of poor, innocent Eddie that way.And it made me "B-r-r-r!" to think of the sensation he'd have when heflopped into that liquid refrigerator. I remembered the time when abunch of us fellows thought we'd imitate polar bears and jumped in thebay through a hole in the ice. Never again!

  It was a dark night, too. This would be in our favor. The campus wasshaded by huge pine trees and the watering trough was in the middle ofthe block so that the light from the arcs on either corner just barelyreached. Without the moon it was almost pitch dark through that stretch.

  I rang Eddie's door bell ... feeling more and more like handing in myresignation but what could I do now? After a few minutes Eddie came tothe door but I saw through the glass that he didn't have his hat orcoat on. His face looked grave.

  "Sorry, Ralph," Eddie announced. "There's sickness in the family andI'll just have to call it off tonight. I'm sorry I couldn't let youknow sooner ... but I kept thinking I could get away until the lastminute."

  "Oh--that's all right," I said, feeling disappointed and relieved atthe same time. "I hope it's nothing serious?"

  "No ... I guess not...." Eddie answered, not mentioning who was sick."It's only serious for the time being."

  Well,--here was a nice howdy do! After leaving Eddie I stopped outsidehis house, wondering what move to make next. The fellows would beexpecting me to show up with him any minute now. I'd better go down andtell the boys it was all off ... and explain just why so's I wouldn'tget the blame for not going through with my part in the proceedings.

  Obadiah Erasmus Tucker lived the second house from the corner off theintersection of James and Adams streets, just a block from the school.Of course it had to be my luck to run into him as I passed the house.He was on his way down to the Chamber of Commerce to attend a civicmeeting that he wanted to write up for a civics lesson.

  "Why, good evening, Ralph!" Obadiah said to me. He had an old way abouthim that made you feel like he was doing you a favor to speak to you."Snappy weather, eh what?"

  "Yes,--pretty lively," I replied, feeling uneasy as Obadiah hit it offalongside me. I was thinking of his running into the fellows at thetrough and that he'd know right away we were up to some devilment andhave us called on the carpet the next day or report us to the principal.

  I shifted over to the side nearest the trough so I could give thefellows the high sign at the first opportunity but when we got up closethere wasn't a one in sight and I began to think they'd gotten wise andskidooed when all of a sudden there was a noise like the radio reportof the democratic convention ... only worse ... and black forms swoopedaround from the street side of the trough and from behind every nearbytree.

  For a second I couldn't figure out what it was all about ... until Iheard Obadiah give a yell ... and the next thing I knew there was aflock of arms hoisting him in the air ... and before I could shout ordo a thing ... Plop! he went, right into the middle of the wateringtrough!

  There was the grandest splashing and sputtering you ever heard for thenext few seconds. The air seemed full of Obadiah's arms and legs. Hekicked hard enough to send him most half way across the English channelbut he couldn't make any headway in the watering trough except down.

  Every time Obadiah's head came to the top, Pete Dean, who was standingon the steps, shoved it under again, yelling, "Souse him good, fellows!He needs it!"

  They were making such a commotion, splashing his dignitary up and down,that it was all I could do to make myself heard. I rushed up to Pete,grabbed him by the arm and hollered in his ear, "Cheese it, you bigboob! It's Obadiah!"

  Just then one of the fellows caught sight of Obadiah's double-lensedgoggles which had sloshed over the side of the trough and he let out awhoop like he was shot in ten places at once.

  "Great razzberries!" exclaimed Pete, his eyes sticking out of his head."Beat it, guys!"

  The fellows didn't wait to help Obadiah out ... they just jerked him toa sitting position in the trough and left him sputtering and gaspingand blowing water like the cross between a garden spray and a whalewith two spouts.

  I was too stunned to move ... and when I did begin to think oflocomotion I heard some new noises around me and saw some other blackforms come dashing across the alley. Then it dawned on me like a flash.Eddie had outwitted us again. He'd seen through my invitation somehow.He'd tipped off the Freshies and they had waited, in hiding, figuringon catching us Sophs flat-footed at the trough. But they'd not countedon unforeseen circumstances any more than we had ... so they were alittle late in arriving.

  Right here's one time where I used my head for something besidesgrowing a hair on. I didn't have a second to lose. The Freshies werealmost on me. I gritted my teeth and ran up the steps and plunged intothe watering trough beside Obadiah.

  * * * * *

  Cold? Oh, boy! Cold? The minute I hit the water it felt like mybackbone was one long icicle ... and when I rolled over and sat up Ithought I had about a hundred sets of teeth. Poor old Obadiah! Hehardly seemed to know what was going on except that he was holding downhalf the country of Greenland and had a chunk of the North pole in onehand.

  "Now we've got you!" someone cried, close to my ear.

  Hands reached in and grabbed Obadiah and me, dragging us out of thetrough like a couple of wet meal bags. Obadiah was as limp as a wetbathing suit. His arms and legs were all tangled up and he was doubledinto a knot so's not to expose any more of his anatomy than he couldhelp. I wasn't exactly comfortable myself. If it hadn't been so darkI'll bet you could have seen steam coming off our clothes.

  Eddie was the first one I saw when I got out. He gave me a triumphantlaugh.

  "Thought you'd put it over on me, didn't you?" he taunted. "No one sickat our house but the cat!"

  "You'll be sick in a minute," I assured him, getting a strangle hold onmy teeth.

  "Who's this bird?" a Freshie asked, stooping over Obadiah who wastrying to persuade his knees to hold him up.

  Say--when the fellows saw who it was I thought they'd drop dead wherethey stood. They were the scaredest bunch I ever looked at.

  Obadiah couldn't talk yet but his eyes weren't frozen shut. He wasusing 'em to spot every boy in the crowd. A cat didn't have anything onObadiah the way he saw in the dark.

  "Why--why Mr. Tucker ... what are you doing here?" asked Eddie, in avoice that shook worse than mine.

  "Th-th-that's wh-wh-what I w-w-want to know!" stuttered Obadiah, havingan awful time keeping from biting his tongue. "A-A-And I'm g-g-going tof-f-find out!"

  This declaration was what I'd been waiting for. I stepped over whereObadiah could see me.

  "I guess they thought you were one of the Sophomores, too," I said,putting over my thunderbolt.

  I could hear the Freshies gasp. But what could they say? All they coulddo was to break out with nervous perspiration.

  It was the first time that the president of the Student GovernmentLeague had taken any notice of dripping me!

  "Wh-wh-what! D-d-did they th-th-throw y-y-you in, too?" he stammered."W-w-well, up-up-upon m-m-my w-word! I'll m-m-make th-th-them p-p-payfor th-th-this!"

  Here's where Eddie Summers came up for air.

  "The Freshies didn't do it, Mr. Tucker! It was the Sophs ... they...."he started to explain.

  "Y-y-you c-c-can't t-t-tell me th-th-that! I know a-a-all about it! Andbesides ... I-I'm p-p-pretty n-n-near frozen t-to d-d-death. I-I'llattend to y-y-you f-f-fellows in the m-m-morning. Th-th-there'll be as-s-special meeting of the League t-t-to t-t-take up your cases.R-R-Ralph, h-h-hadn't y-y-you b-b-better c-c-come over t-t-to myh-h-house wh-wh-while I g-g-get a doctor?"

  Obadiah's teeth were making a sound like a freight train clatteringover a cattle guard at a railroad crossing. He was getting worse rightalong. Eddie did have presence enough of mind to offer to help him home.
<
br />   "H-h-help m-m-me h-h-home?" Obadiah glowered, "S-s-suchimp-p-p-pert-t-tinence!" He shook a shaky fist at the leader of thesubdued Freshies. "G-g-get along with you, b-b-before I l-l-lose m-m-myt-t-temper!"

  The boys backed off, kind of bewildered like ... as if they didn't knowjust what would be the proper caper,--but when they got a little waysoff they broke into a run and scattered mighty quick.

  I picked up Obadiah's glasses and he stood for a minute with his kneesleaning together, trying to put them on ... but his hands shook so hardthat he couldn't locate his nose. He finally gave up trying and took acouple of steps toward home ... peering around like he was afraid somedistinguished citizen of Lillard would pass by and see him in hisundisguised state. But the coast was clear.

  Obadiah didn't object when I took hold of his arm. Our clothes soundedcrinkly and crackly like as we walked ... but somehow I was a lotwarmer than I had been. And I was just getting to the place where Icould begin to see how funny everything was. When we got to the cornerI couldn't hold it in any longer. I busted right out laughing.

  "Wh-what's the m-m-matter?" asked Obadiah, alarmed.

  "Something tickles me," I said, laughing some more as I helped him uphis front steps.

  "Y-y-you're h-h-hysterical ... th-th-that's what's the m-m-matter," hesaid, getting excited, "Y-y-your condition's s-s-serious!"

  Nothing must do but that I come in while his mother calls the doctorand my folks and runs around like a Japanese coolie laying out dryclothes for both of us and pouring hot water in the tub.

  When I saw the outfit Mrs. Tucker had put out for me to wear I hadanother fit of laughing which Obadiah thought would send me intoconvulsions.

  A suit of flannel underwear with the shirt and drawers separate; an oldpair of long pants, which Mrs. Tucker said would warm my legs up; and acast-off smoking jacket which had belonged to Mr. Tucker before he gota new one last Christmas--that hung around me like a lean-to tent.Maybe I didn't look like the cat's moustache!

  Well--the doctor finally got there and after examining Obadiah headvised a brisk rubbing and plenty of hot drinks and hot water bottles... but said he didn't think there'd be any ill effects as the victimhad stood the shock better than the victim had expected.

  "I wish you'd look after poor Ralph. He's propped up in the chair outthere," I heard Obadiah say in a disappointed voice. "I think he's evenworse off than I am!"

  The doc came out and gave me the once over. He looked as though hecouldn't believe his eyes. I was sitting with my legs stuck out overanother chair so that the ends of the trousers hung empty like I didn'thave any feet. I didn't have any arms either ... and the sleeves to thecoat hung like they do from a hanger. Then there was nothing under mycoat but the underwear which fitted around my neck as loose as a horsecollar.

  "I'm suffering from a complication of clothes," I whispered to the doc... and then there was two of us laughing instead of one.

  Obadiah sent his mother in to see what was up. And at the same time myfolks arrived with some of my own clothes.

  "The boy's all right," said the doc, after he got his second wind. "Allhe needed was a good laugh ... and I've just finished giving it to him!"

  He winked at me as he went out the door.

  I didn't get a chance to see the other fellows till school commencednext day and then it was too late to explain what had happened. Therewas an air of direful expectancy among the Sophs ... and the Freshiesmoved about in fear and trembling.

  Sure enough! The bell rang for a special session of chapel the veryfirst thing. We shuffled into the assembly room ... most of the schoolwondering what it was all about. Principal Sawyer was on the platformwith the president of the United Classes of Lillard. It was evidentright off the bat that the meeting had not been called forentertainment purposes.

  "Everyone but the Freshman and Sophomore boys is excused from thischapel to attend regular classes," said the principal.

  There was a murmur of curiosity and a lot of confusion as the room wascleared and the fellows who were left, gathered in two bunches uptoward the front.

  When things had quieted down so that every fellow was having a goodtime listening to his heart skip beats, Obadiah got up at a nod fromPrincipal Sawyer and walked to the edge of the platform, glaring downat us.

  Honest--I felt like snickering again! All the kink was out of hisstand-up hair and he looked like he'd shrunk two good inches. Hereminded me of a drooping water lily ... but mad? Say, he was theliving embodiment of all the righteous indignation in the world!

  "There has come to the attention of the Student Government League avery grave case of hazing," Obadiah started. "A case which, I regret tosay (which he didn't) must be dealt with severely. It concerns theducking of a Sophomore in the ... in the watering trough...!"

  The Sophs glanced in my direction in dumbfounded surprise. The Freshieslooked glum.

  "Such an offense is bad enough in warm weather," Obadiah continued,"but in mid-winter, (he shuddered) it is absolutely and positivelycriminal!"

  I felt like saying "Amen!" to that. Obadiah stopped to clear his throatand to tap himself on the chest like he was afraid he was going to geta cold on his lungs.

  "As you all know, the League has the first power to act on mattersrelating to the willful misconduct of students," said Obadiah, as ifhe'd memorized what he was going to say. "At a meeting of the EmergencyCommittee this morning it was decided that, if strict measures arenecessary to prevent further ... er ... further violence ... the Leagueis prepared to take them!"

  Obadiah's hair began to stand on end like a porcupine's quills. I couldtell he was getting ready to shoot a broadside. So could everyone. Butno one could tell where he was going to hit.

  "The Freshman class this year has been a trouble breeder. Even theFreshman representative admits that...."

  Time out while the Sophs all heaved a big sigh of relief!

  "... and it is my understanding that this activity has largely been dueto one member who, I have reason to know, was especially prominent inlast night's doings...!"

  All eyes went to Eddie who sat looking like there was sickness in thefamily and he was _it_. I just had to smile when I thought of the turnthings had taken. But the smile came off the very next minute.

  "It therefore pains me to report that, in consideration of pastoffenses and because of his continued disregard for regulations orauthority, the Student Government League respectfully recommends to thefaculty and Principal Sawyer that Mr. Edward Summers be expelled fromLillard High School!"

  Obadiah laid a long hand against his long face and waited to observethe effect of this recommendation upon those present in the assemblyroom.

  We were stunned all right. I really hadn't thought Obadiah would gothat far. I didn't want to see Eddie get put out of school. It was easyfor anyone to tell that Obadiah was trying to get around a badsituation by making an example of Eddie. But what worried me most wasthat Principal Sawyer looked like he was going to back up the recommend!

  There wasn't a sound for about two good breaths, when suddenly Eddiejumped to his feet, eyes gleaming.

  "Excuse me, sir. It was the Sophs who ducked you!"

  Have you ever been some place during a storm when the air all at onceseemed full of electricity? Well, you'll know how we felt then--ourskin prickled!

  Obadiah gave Eddie a look like he didn't have any use for a fellow whowould try to shift the blame.

  "Prove it!" he challenged.

  "I can't," said Eddie, and sat down again.

  Obadiah smiled soberly. You'd have to see him do it to appreciate howanyone could smile soberly. He was sure Eddie had been trying to spoofhim.

  I couldn't stay out of the rumpus any longer. It had gotten beyond aclass proposition now. So up I bolted.

  "If he can't prove it ... I can!" I said, in a loud voice.

  Suffering fireworks, what a commotion! The fellows almost fell out oftheir seats. Obadiah gaped at me, mouth open clear to his wisdom teeth.Principal Sawyer jumped to
his feet and came to the front of theplatform.

  Pete Dean, sitting right behind me, just about yanked my coat tails off.

  "Shut up, you poor fish!" he whispered. "Want to get us all in dutch?"

  "I'm going to speak the truth and nothing but the truth!" I said,determined to make a clean breast of everything. The Freshies acted asif they were going to applaud but the Sophs looked like they were goingto use their hands for some other purpose as soon as convenient.

  "If you can shed any light on this unfortunate happening we should beglad to hear from you," invited Principal Sawyer.

  Obadiah didn't appear so enthusiastic.

  "I can shed all the light there is to be shed," I replied,diplomatic-like, "but I want to know first ... if I prove Eddie's notguilty ... will you reinstate him?... I mean, put him back in school?"

  The principal of Lillard High looked at the president of the UnitedClasses of Lillard and the president looked at the principal. Theyshook their heads "yes."

  "All right!" Then I explained the whole business--how we Sophs hadplanned to duck Eddie; how I was elected to call at his house and walkhim past the trough; how Eddie got wise to our game and tipped off theFreshies who waited in the alley to waylay us; how I ran into Obadiahas I was going down to the trough to tell the fellows the plan fellthrough; how, in the darkness, the fellows mistook the head of theStudent Government League for Eddie and flopped him in the troughbefore I could think of Jack Robinson, much less say it,--and how Ijumped in when the Freshies came running up, to make it look likethey'd ducked Obadiah and me.

  "So if there's any expelling to be done--you'd better begin on us," Iconcluded.

  It was so still for a few minutes that you could have heard ahandkerchief drop. Obadiah looked like he'd been deprived of theopportunity of a life time. He and the principal went into a conferenceand they talked a long while ... so long that we all got restless andbegan to scrape our feet around on the floor.

  At last Principal Sawyer stepped forward and Obadiah sank down in achair, crestfallen.

  There was a twinkle in the principal's eyes as he started to speak. Ibelieve he'd have laughed outright--now that he had the straight ofthings--if he hadn't had lots of self control.

  "Thanks to Ralph Duncan's explanation the recommended action againstEdward Summers has been withdrawn...."

  The boys started to cheer ... they just couldn't help it ... but theprincipal raised his hand.

  "However, you are all placed on probation for the rest of the term," hesaid, which didn't sound so good. "Let this be a lesson to you. Reportto your next hour classes!"

  "You're a swell class martyr, you are!" reproved Pete, as we left theroom. "Tie the Freshies up in a bow knot last night and untie them thismorning!"

  There wasn't anything I could say to that ... so I kept mum.

  But the next morning, when Pete and I came to school, I happened tolook up at the belfry.

  Holy smoke! The Freshman colors were gone!

  Pete beat me to expressing what popped into our heads at the same time.

  "Eddie Summers ... the nervy cuss ... risked his fool neck to dip hiscolors to us. Well, I'd like to see him get expelled for that!"