Do What I Want: A High School Bully Romance (Dirty Little Secret Book 2)

by Kai Juniper

  He rubs his hand over his jaw. "I just wish you'd told me before we got that far."

  "I would've, but it all happened so fast. I didn't think that was going to happen, and when it did, I was torn between wanting to keep going and wanting to stop."

  "I still wish you'd told me before..." He shakes his head.

  "Honestly, I didn't think you'd care that I was a virgin. I thought you'd want to keep going, and then I'd tell you to stop and you'd get mad that we didn't finish."

  "Ella, what the hell?" He looks back at me. "Is that really what you think of me? That I just fuck girls and don't give a shit?"

  "No. Well, maybe, but I didn't get the feeling you were doing that with me."

  "Then why'd you think I'd get mad?"

  "Because you're a guy, and guys get pissed when a girl tells them to stop. I didn't care if you did, but I was prepared for it and was assuming we'd fight about it. I'd call you an asshole. You'd call me a tease, or maybe a bitch, either of which would piss me off even more, to the point I couldn't even be around you anymore, so I'd storm out of here and realize I don't have my truck, which means I'd have to come back and ask you for a ride, which would've been really awkward, but I wouldn't have a choice if I wanted to get home." I'm talking so fast I have to stop and take a breath. When I look up at Briggs, he's smiling.

  "You really played all that out in your head?"

  "I got as far as the part where I needed a ride."

  "When were you coming up with this? While I was kissing you?"

  "No, it was when I told you I was a virgin, before you got out of the pool."

  "That was like five seconds. You came up with all that in five seconds?"

  I shrug. "My mind works fast."

  "So what happens now? Got it all figured out?"

  "I didn't get that far. I didn't think you'd actually wait when I told you to. I thought you'd ignore me and storm into the house, and then maybe you'd lock me out so I'd be stuck out here."

  "You make me sound like an ass."

  I don't respond, because really, the Briggs I used to know would do all those things. This new Briggs? I'm not sure. He keeps proving me wrong, so my assessment of him is still up in the air.

  "You want something to eat?" he asks.

  "Um, okay." I guess we're done talking about this. There really isn't much more to say.

  "You should probably dry off first. I'll meet you in the kitchen." His eyes lower to my chest, a slight smile on his face. "You can stay like that if you want. I don't mind."

  I look down and notice my top is still off. Shit! How did I not notice that?

  Racing back to the pool to get it, I hear Briggs laughing as he goes in the house. I fish my top out of the pool and wring it out before putting it on. I grab a towel and dry off the best I can, then take another towel and wrap it around me before going inside.

  Briggs is at the counter, making a sandwich. "I liked the other look better."

  "Yeah, I'm sure you did." I say, smiling. "What are you making?"

  "Turkey sandwich. You want one?"

  "Sure. Are you going to make it for me?"

  "I can." He grabs a plate from the cupboard. I stand beside him as he takes some bread from the loaf, watching his muscles flex as he moves.

  I love his body, and I loved being wrapped around it in the pool. I wish we could've kept going, but I didn't want to do it if I wasn't absolutely sure.

  "Does this mean we can't...you know, keep doing stuff?" I ask.

  "That's up to you." He smiles at me. "You're the virgin."

  "I knew you'd make fun of me for that," I say, rolling my eyes.

  "I'm not making fun of you. I'm just saying you have to tell me what you're comfortable with. I'm comfortable with everything so I'm not great at knowing when to stop." He holds up the mustard. "Yes? No?"

  "No." I hop up on the counter, watching him add the turkey. "That's a lot. I only need half that." He removes some slices. "So um, just so you know, I was good with everything we did up until I stopped us. I might even say I was more than good with it."

  "Got it," he casually says, as he slices my sandwich in half.

  What is his problem? I'm trying to tell him I want to forget the stupid sandwich and go back to what we were doing, but he's not picking up on what I'm saying. Either that, or he's no longer interested. But how could he not be? I know I wasn't the only one loving what we were doing in the pool. The heat between us was so hot you could practically feel the flames.

  "Just so we're clear," I say. "I'd be totally okay with us doing that again. If you wanted to."

  He glances at me. "Yeah, I picked up on that."

  Damn him. Why isn't he doing anything? Is it all or nothing? We go all the way or do nothing at all?

  "You want to eat at the table?" he asks, holding the plates.

  "No." My eyes wander down to his biceps as they flex to hold the plates.

  Stop looking at his body! I'm as bad as guys who stare at a girl's boobs. He needs to put a shirt on. That would help.

  "Where do you want to eat?" he asks.

  "I'm not really hungry."

  "Then why'd you ask for a sandwich?"

  I sigh. "Okay, we'll eat. Let's go outside." I hop off the counter and notice him smiling. "What? Why are you smiling?"

  "You really thought I was serious?"

  "Yeah. Why?"

  He drops the plates on the counter, making a loud clanking noise. Then he yanks my towel off, lifts me up on the counter, and kisses me. It's just like the kiss in the pool, scorching hot, and with that same need and desire that scares me, but also thrills me.

  I really do want to be with Briggs, but only this Briggs, not the one who used to torture me. If only I knew this was the real him, I might just do it. Based on how he kisses, I'm confident my first time would be way better than with some other guy. But I don't think Briggs would agree to it. The way he freaked out when I told him he almost had sex with a virgin is a good indication he's not willing to go all the way with me.

  Knowing that is actually a huge relief. Instead of worrying what might happen, I can keep my focus on what's happening right now, like how much I love the way he touches me, the way his hands grip my body, the way his lips slide down my neck, the way his breath tickles my ear.

  "Let's go upstairs," he says, helping me off the counter. He senses my hesitation and says, "We won't take it that far. I promise."

  I'd never believe the old Briggs, but I believe this version of him. I trust him more than I should.

  We go upstairs to his room. He takes my hand and pulls me to the bed, then reaches around me to untie my suit.

  "I thought we weren't—"

  "We're not, but I can't have you getting my bed all wet." He smiles, and it's so damn sexy, I feel myself wanting him again. It's dangerous being up here alone with him, but I trust him more than I trust myself because he's so committed to not taking my virginity.

  "What about yours?" I ask, pointing to his swim trunks.

  "Mine are dry."

  I feel them. "They're still damp."

  My top is off and his hands pause on the strings of my bikini bottoms. "I'm doing my best here to keep anything from happening. Just go with it."

  I smile and let him continue. Maybe he's not as committed as I thought, which makes us being up here even more dangerous.

  Just as he undoes the last tie on my bikini, I grab hold of it. "Maybe I should keep these on, just as a precaution."

  "They'll be in the way."

  "But if we're not..."

  "Trust me." He takes my hands from the bikini and it drops to the ground. "There's other things we can do."

  My heart's beating out of my chest from the thrill and excitement elicited by his words, and by the way he's looking at me, like he's imagining all the things he could do to me.

  "Lay down," he orders.

  I lay back on the bed, feeling self-conscious and wanting to cover up, not because I don't like my body but because Bri
ggs is standing there, seeing me completely naked. It's not fair he gets to keep his shorts on. I get why he's doing it, but it's still not fair.

  "If it's too far," he says, "tell me to stop."

  "If what's too far?"

  I've barely said the words and he's already kneeled down, spreading my legs and putting his face between them. Is this really happening? Briggs Chadwick is going down on me? Maybe I'm dreaming this, but if this were a dream I wouldn't be getting all hot and tingly. His tongue flicks over a highly sensitive spot and my hips buck. He holds my legs down, his strong hands wrapping around my thighs as he continues to devour me.

  This is nothing like the last time a guy did this to me. It only happened once, last year, and it was awful. The guy had no idea what he was doing. But this? This is pure pleasure. Briggs knows exactly what to do, exactly how much pressure to use and where to use it. It's like he knows my body better than I do.

  God, it feels good. So good. I feel the pressure building, climbing, wanting to burst. His fingers get into the action and I can't hold back any longer.

  I grab hold of his bed and squeeze my eyes shut as the feeling rolls through me, through my limbs and down to my toes.

  The bed moves as Briggs gets up. I open my eyes and see him beside me.

  "You didn't tell me to stop."

  "There's no way that was going to happen." I take a breath, loving how relaxed I feel. I haven't felt this relaxed since before the accident.

  "I'm gonna take a shower. I'd ask you to join me, but I might need some time to myself first."

  I smile. "Go ahead. It's probably better if I shower alone."

  "Give me five minutes, then it's all yours."

  "Five minutes? That's all you need to shower and...finish?"

  "After what we just did? I'll be done in less than a minute. The rest of the time I'll be showering." He gives me a smile as he walks to the bathroom. "The invite's still there if you want to join me."

  I'm tempted to, but I probably shouldn't. We took things way farther than I thought we would, but I don't regret it. The only regret I have is that being with Briggs today has made me feel even closer to him.

  Chapter Seven

  Briggs

  I shouldn't have done it. I wasn't sure what Ella and I would end up doing today, but it wasn't that. I told myself it wouldn't happen, but then it did. The pool was a bad idea. What the hell was I thinking suggesting that? Seeing Ella in a bikini? That alone was enough to get me going. And then she tells me to get in the pool with her, and like an idiot, I do it, knowing there was almost no chance I'd be able to stay away from her.

  When she lunged at me, I took her in my arms without even thinking, and feeling her warm, soft body against mine, I had to have her. But then she threw out the virgin thing and it was like she doused me in cold water. I'm not taking her virginity. No fucking way.

  I've never been a girl's first, but Parker has, and said it was a nightmare. The girl cried for a week after they did it, saying she'd made a huge mistake, and then she blamed Parker, saying he pushed her to do it. According to him, she's the one who wanted it, and she didn't tell him she was a virgin beforehand. He didn't want to keep dating her, but he felt like he had to for at least a few weeks or she'd have a total meltdown. I've heard similar stories from other guys, which is why I would never take a girl's virginity.

  It would've been nice if Ella had told me that sooner than when I was seconds away from being inside her. She had me so worked up I could barely stand it. I wanted to be inside her so bad, and then she stopped us. I wasn't mad, but I was frustrated, and my cock was aching from being that close and not doing it.

  I went in the house to relieve myself, but then she followed me inside. Having her next to me had me going again, especially when she was sitting on the counter, her towel riding up, her bare legs exposed. I swear she was testing me, seeing if I could resist her.

  I can't. I try to, but I can't. The more time I spend with her, the more I want her. She's smart, funny, and I love that I can talk to her about shit that matters. And although I always thought she was cute, I never really looked close enough at her to see how beautiful she is, and hot. Her body is even better than Aubrey's, and Aubrey's a model. Ella isn't stick thin like Aubrey. She has muscle, probably from all the work she does for her dad. She's got a tight, round ass that fits my hands perfectly. And unlike Aubrey, Ella's tits are real. They're soft and full, and I love how her nipples perk up the moment I touch her.

  Shit, I'm going to have to get myself off again if I keep thinking about this. I already relieved myself once, and Ella's probably going to be in here any minute. I finish rinsing off, and as I shut off the shower, the bathroom door opens.

  "It's all yours," I tell her, stepping out of the shower. When I look up, I see she's standing there naked. Fuck. She's seriously testing me, and I feel like I'm losing. If she wasn't a virgin, I'd be all over her right now.

  "Could I get a towel?" she asks.

  "Yeah." I turn to open the linen closet.

  "Briggs, what happened?" Ella rushes up behind me.

  I turn back to her. "What are you talking about?"

  "The bruise on your back."

  "It's nothing." I hand her the towel, then open the shower door. "You need help turning it on? You have to turn on both sides to get all the shower heads going."

  I feel her hand on my lower back. "This looks really painful. Did you put something on it, like ice or a heating pad?"

  "Just leave it alone. It'll heal."

  She comes in front of me, getting that concerned look on her face that makes me uncomfortable. "How did that happen?"

  "Rugby. A guy slammed into me during practice."

  "It doesn't look like that. It looks like someone hit you with something. It's got lines, like maybe it was—"

  "Stop," I say, grabbing her hands before she touches it again. It already hurts like hell, and it hurts even more if there's pressure on it. "Nobody threw anything at me. A guy hit me during practice. That's it. Just let it go."

  Her eyes are staring into mine like she's trying to find the truth in them. She knows I'm lying, but what happened is none of her fucking business. She needs to stay out of it and stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself.

  "You need help with the shower or not?"

  She shakes her head. "No."

  "I'm going to get dressed."

  I hear the shower turn on as I leave. I should've covered up more before she walked in. I had a towel around me, but it was too low to hide the bruise. The thing is huge so some of it was hidden, but not all of it. When we were out by the pool, I made sure to keep my swim trunks pulled up enough so she wouldn't see it, but when I got out of the shower, I was too distracted by her body to remember to cover up.

  Maybe she'll think I got in a fight, or that I fell and am too embarrassed to admit it. I don't care what she thinks as long as it's not the truth, which is that my father did it. He got angry and threw a chair at me, the chair Ella saw on the floor when she came to my house on Sunday. My dad had just left. When Ella knocked on the door, I was heading upstairs to clean up my face after getting hit by the vase my dad threw at me.

  My dad wasn't even drunk when he did this. He was angry—not at me, but at my mom. He'd just gotten off the phone with her, demanding she show up to my graduation. When she didn't agree to it, he decided to take out his anger on me. I didn't even see the chair coming. I was just walking through the house when he threw it at my back with as much force as he could. When I turned around, I saw the vase coming at me. I didn't have time to move out of the way. My dad started screaming at me, cursing, and saying how much he hates my mom, and then he stormed out of the house and left.

  "Briggs?" Ella says, standing at the bathroom door, a towel around her. She still has that look of concern, almost like she knows the truth, but I don't know how she could. She's met my dad. He's not someone anyone would think would hurt his kid. He's polite and sophisticated and never loses his
temper in front of people. Nobody would ever guess what he's really like.

  I walk up to Ella. "You need something?"

  "Yeah. Could you go down and get my bag? I left it by the pool. It has my clothes in it."

  "You don't want to just walk around naked?"

  She smiles. "I think clothes would be good."

  I lean down and give her a kiss. "Be right back."

  Kissing her like that is something a boyfriend would do, so I probably shouldn't have done it, but I didn't even think. I just did it. Being with Ella like this feels natural, like she really could be my girlfriend. I feel more like myself around her than I ever did with Aubrey. I always felt like Aubrey and I were pretending, putting on a show for the people at school who expected us to be together. Aubrey and I make sense to them. Ella and I don't, and never will.

  After I get her bag, I head back inside and hear the garage door opening.

  "Shit!" I say, running through the kitchen and up the stairs. I race down the hall, back to my room. "We have to get out of here." I give Ella her bag. "Hurry up and get dressed."

  "Why? What's going on?"

  "My dad's home. I have no idea why. He should be at work. Maybe he just came home to get something."

  "What time is it?"

  "I don't know. Two-thirty?" I check my phone. "It's 2:35."

  "What should we do? We're supposed to be at school. Maybe we could stay up here until he leaves."

  "He knows I'm home. He saw my car out front. Stay here. I'll go down and tell him I wasn't feeling well and came home to rest." I walk to the door. "Don't leave. Just stay here. And if you hear him come upstairs, hide in the bathroom."

  I go out to the hall, closing the door behind me. I hear my dad walking around downstairs. If I could hide out in my room I would, but I know him, and I know if I was in my room, he'd come up and demand to know why I'm home.

  "Dad, what are you doing here?" I say, as I come down the stairs.

  He stops when he sees me, a golf club in his hand. "I came home to get my clubs. I'm going golfing with some clients this afternoon. What are you doing home?"

  "I wasn't feeling well so I left after lunch to rest before practice."