Mixed Up In You

by Sammi Cee

  “I’m taking off, Jules. You want a ride?” At first Chuck reverting back to my childhood nickname was embarrassing, but I love it more and more every day. I even like that other people on the site are starting to call me Jules. I’m going to miss when he goes back to work at the school.

  “No thanks, I’m waiting for Vaughn. He doesn’t have to stay late for the first time all week, so we’re going straight back to his house to shower and snuggle.”

  “Mhmm… I bet that’s what you have in mind. I’m your best friend, remember? I’ve seen that calculating gleam in your eye all day,” Chuck teases.

  “Shhh… don’t give away all my secrets.” Chuck hugs me quickly and traipses off to his car. I’ve noticed traces of sadness around his eyes lately, and even some days where he’s had dark circles under his eyes, but he swears he’s just not sleeping well because he’s hot. He knows I’m here for him, so I watch him leave the parking lot, wait until everyone else is gone, too, before going up to the one spot on the second floor where the sun still streams through.

  Stripping my shirt off, I lay back with my hands tucked under my head and close my eyes. I’m not sure if I doze or not, but the next thing I know a shadow passes over my body blocking the heat of the sun. “Excuse me,” I say without opening my eyes.

  “What are you doing down there?” Vaughn asks.

  “Trying to catch some sun, if you don’t mind.”

  Vaughn chuckles, and then he’s on his knees crawling up my body. I crack only one eye open to gaze down at him. “Whatcha doing?”

  He smirks at me. “I have a feeling I’m playing right into your hands.”

  With a smirk of my own, I answer him, “That’s a distinct possibility.”

  “You couldn’t wait to get me home?” he asks right before his lips seal over mine. The best part of any day is when Vaughn’s lips are on mine. It doesn’t matter if our kisses are soft and sweet or urgent and passionate, he makes me feel treasured. As his tongue swipes over mine, he lets out a low moan making me feel like kissing me is just as important to him. Pulling him tighter to me, I wiggle beneath him so he can feel how hard my cock already is. “Wow. What’s gotten into you?” he asks against my lips.

  “I’ve been up here waiting for you forever,” I murmur back. His chuckle turns into another moan as I lean up and catch his lips for a demanding kiss. Thrusting my tongue in and out of his mouth in quick little jabs.

  Pulling his mouth barely off mine, his hips begin to grind into me. “Is that what you want, Julian? Do you want me to take you home so you can fuck me?”

  “Mmm… maybe one day. But not tonight. I need you to take me home and make love to me. I need to know what it feels like to have you inside of me.” He groans against my lips as he crashes his mouth onto mine, rutting into me so furiously I’m worried we’re both going to come before we ever make it home. I push up on his shoulders so I can look him in the eyes. “Take me home, Vaughn. Now.”

  Blinking quickly to clear the sex haze from his eyes, he jumps up and grabs my hand, yanking me up next to him. “Are you sure?”

  “Vaughn,” I whine.

  “Thank god.” He leans forward, kissing the end of my nose before dragging me down the stairs behind him. We’ve been here before, frantic for each other, and because I’ve told him how callously Phillip used to treat me, Vaughn tends to pull back at the last minute, choosing to get me off in another way. While I always enjoy it, I think he’s scared he’ll go to hard or be too forceful, but no matter what he does I know I’ll enjoy it. I’m not a body to use to Vaughn. He can’t even smile at me without me feeling how much he cares about me.

  Not leaving anything to chance, I spend the whole ride to his house leaned over the seat nuzzling his jaw and rubbing his nipples and his dick. When I can tell he’s starting to get himself under control, I suck on his earlobe while unfastening my jeans and pulling my own hard dick out to stroke. “Julian.” His breathy whisper excites me more, and I slow it down, barely grazing over myself so it’s almost like a tickle. Once we’re parked in his garage, he pulls away from me and opens his door. “In my room. Now.”

  Internally I fist pump getting him to lose control. I want to be precious to him, but I don’t want to be treated like I’m fragile. We race into the house and down the hall to his bedroom together, both of us peeling off our clothes as we go. I jump onto his bed completely naked as he finishes stripping out of his jeans and crawls up the bed toward me. “You’re completely sure?” he whispers. “You know our relationship is about more than—”

  He cuts off with a groan as I jack-knife up and grab his cock. “If you don’t put this in me tonight, like, soon, I’m never going to forgive you.”

  “Bossy.” Then his lips are sealed over mine in a bruising kiss. I can feel his desire and longing, and if I’m not mistaken, I can feel something deeper. Reaching my arm back behind me under the pillows I pull out a condom and shove it at him.

  “Suit up, babe.”

  “Where did that come from?”

  “I may have prepared this for us this morning.” I uncap the bottle of lube that I grabbed out from under the pillow with my other hand, and his eyes glaze over with lust as I tilt my hips up and my hand disappears to prepare myself. “That’s one,” I say breathlessly.

  He sits back on his knees watching me with hooded eyes, silent except for the random moans that escape while he strokes his length and watches me prepare myself for him. “That’s two,” I groan out as my second finger joins my first. His breathing increases, and I know he won’t be able to stop from claiming me tonight. “Ohhhh… that’s three,” I moan, my eyes fluttering closed at how good it feels. Hearing the rustling of the condom wrapper, I murmur, “About time you got with the program.”

  I expect to hear the rasp of his desire-filled chuckle, but I’m pleasantly surprised when instead he dives between my legs, pushing my knees up and out as he goes. With feather-light kisses against my lips, he rasps, “You’re so good at that. Why don’t you pull those fingers out and put me in?”

  I groan, amped up even further by the guttural quality of his voice, one I’ve never heard him use before. Crazy with need to be with him, I pull my fingers out and line him up. Just as the head of his cock penetrates me, he pushes me all the way down and moves my arms out to the side, holding them down. The feather-light kisses continue as he slowly moves his hips, working himself into me at his own pace. “You got what you wanted, Julian. But now we do it my way.”

  From there it becomes a series of lazy kisses and slow pumps to biting of lips and clicking of teeth with the hard drive of his cock. He keeps me completely unbalanced, never sure what to expect next. I’m practically crying from pleasure when he lets go of one of my wrists, reaching down to grab my cock and growls, “Mine.” It’s over and I cry out as my orgasm seizes me, consuming me. Like a far-off sound, I hear him roar above me as his hips stutter into me repeatedly as he finds his own release.

  I come back to reality as he bumps his nose to mine playfully. “Worth the wait?” he whispers.

  “So worth the wait.” I smile up at him softly, sad at the emptiness I feel when he reaches down to hold the condom as he pulls out of me. “I already can’t wait for the next time.” The last thing I hear is his soft chuckle as he crosses into the bathroom and turns on the sink. Vaguely I’m aware of the cum being cleaned off my belly and Vaughn pulling me into his arms. My last thought before sleep completely claims me is that I’ve never felt comfortable enough, never once cherished enough, that I could drop off to sleep after sex and know I’d be taken care of.

  Chapter Eleven

  Vaughn

  * * *

  “It sure seems like someone needs to talk to you, buddy,” Jack teases Nathaniel as his phone light blinks yet again.

  “It’s fine. Let me turn it off so it doesn’t keep distracting us. I know you guys want to get home to your people.” The tension around Nathaniel’s mouth is in direct contrast to his cheerful tone. After pul
ling his phone out of his side pocket to silence it, the light flashes again while he’s glancing at it causing his brows to furrow and a frown to replace his normally serene expression. “I think maybe I better get this.” Then he gets up and walks into the hallway.

  My brother and I look at each other and shrug. It’s not often that we meet here in the corporate building, but it’s the end of the summer, and my and Nathaniel’s projects had wrapped up in the last couple of days. There were some minor things to complete, but we aren’t due to start the revitalization project until next week. Jack and I start to chat about Sunday dinner at my parent’s house when Nathaniel rushes back in. Alarm bells ring in my head by the concern I see in his eyes as he focuses on me. “That was Chuck. He’s worried about Julian. They were at the food store and saw Phillips’s girlfriend, Tasha. Apparently, she was strung out and trying to get Julian to come hang out with her. They got rid of her after several minutes, but while they were shopping, Julian went to the bathroom and never came back.”

  Vaguely, in the back of my mind, I question why Chuck called Nathaniel instead of me, but that’s not the bigger issue right now. “Chuck searched the whole store?”

  “He looked everywhere. Then called Julian’s NA sponsor, and she hasn’t heard from him, either. And Julian couldn’t have left on his own because Chuck drove, you know how Julian hates to drive.”

  “We do, but why do you?” Jack asks. Nathaniel waves him off and he’s right, that’s not important right now. Where could Julian be?

  “Chuck is on the way here. He should be here any minute, actually. I didn’t even look at his first several texts, so I didn’t realize it was an emergency. I’m so sorry, Vaughn.”

  Now I wave him off. “We were in a planning meeting. If I had looked down and saw a message from Julian, I probably would’ve stopped looking after one or two.” Nathaniel’s face is pale, and so is my brother’s. If they already look this worried, I can only imagine the fear and confusion they can read on mine.

  It really is merely moments later, but only about two minutes before I call Chuck myself, that he bursts through the door. “I know he’s not doing drugs. There is no way. Even if he was struggling, she’s not the person he’d go hang out with. We have to do something. There has to be something really wrong.” Chuck’s face is wet with tears and Nathaniel immediately walks over to place an arm around his shoulders while handing him a Kleenex.

  “Of course, he’s not using,” my brother says. Relief flows through me knowing that I won’t have to convince my brother that I’m with Chuck; there’s no way Julian would go with that girl for drugs. Julian had been horrified by the way Phillip treated her, but equally shocked that he was seeing someone who shot up. He said that Phillip had always considered himself above that sort of thing; a drug dealer with a moral compass he’d always claimed to Julian.

  “We have to go to Phillip’s house.” Rushing out of the room, I don’t even wait to see if they’re following me, but run down the hallway toward the parking garage.

  From behind me, Jack yells, “I’ll drive.” Quickly exiting the building we all pile into Jack’s truck. “Where am I going?”

  “I can get us there,” Nathaniel says. Chuck looks startled, but his fear for his best friend keeps him from questioning it, something I know Nathaniel is thankful for. As my brother speeds through traffic, swerving from lane to lane and narrowly missing us being in several accidents, none of us protest. We’re all concerned about my Jules.

  Pulling up in front of an ordinary house in the center of a middle-class residential area, it astounds me that this is where the kingpin of this side of town lives. His lawn is neatly mowed, and there’s even flowers planted up the walkway and around the mailbox. “I’ll do the talking,” I say after we’ve gotten out of the car and are walking briskly toward the front door. Pounding on it, I don’t stop until a bedraggled Phillip answers.

  “What? Jesus. You trying to wake the dead?” he asks groggily.

  Based on his appearance, it looks like we did. “Where’s Julian?”

  “What? How would I know? You sent your bodyguard over here to warn me to stay away, remember?” he asks, glaring over my shoulder at Nathaniel.

  Chuck pushes in between me and Jack to yell in Phillip’s face. “You’re a liar! I know you did something to him. We were in the food store shopping when we ran into your girlfriend. She was trying to get Julian to leave with her to go party. You had to have put her up to it.”

  As much as I hate to admit it, Phillip doesn’t look like he has a clue what Chuck is talking about. “Oh, the best friend. It’s good to see some things never change. You’re still an annoying little pest.” Nathaniel growls from behind me causing Phillip to glance up and pale. “I promise you. I have no idea where Julian is. I haven’t personally seen him since that day at the construction site.”

  “Who do you have following him for you then?” Jack asks.

  “No one. I said I’d leave him alone and stay away, and I’ve stuck to that. None of my people are tracking him, I’m a businessman. I have more important things to do than track some little tweaker.”

  Stepping up to where he’s leaning in his doorway, I warn, “You better be telling us the truth. Our next stop is going to be the police station.”

  “Well, I don’t know what good they’ll do you if he only went missing today. But I can assure you, I have nothing to do with it. Now, please leave my property.”

  “The hell we will!” Chuck screams, tears freely flowing down his face again. “I know you know something! Tell us!”

  As Nathaniel moves up to wrap his arms around Chuck’s body to drag him back, Bernie saunters up behind Phillip at the front door. Placing his chin on Phillip’s shoulder, he demands, “What the fuck is the problem?”

  Ever the voice of reason, my brother answers, “We’re looking for Julian.”

  Bernie barks out a harsh, cruel laugh. “Oh, did you lose your little boyfriend?” he mocks me.

  Nathaniel speaks up from his place behind me. “Cut the shit, Bernie. They ran into this one’s girlfriend at the store, and then he disappeared. If you know anything, you better tell me now. If anything happens to that kid…”

  “I don’t know why you keep saying my girlfriend. I don’t even have a girlfriend,” Phillip whines. How did Julian date this guy? He’s spineless.

  “I can assure you, he doesn’t.” Bernie curls one hand up around Phillip’s chest and tucks his head even closer into his neck.

  “Yes, you do. Tasha told us how you started seeing her the night Julian disappeared after court, when you found out he’d gone straight to rehab,” Chuck answers.

  “Oh, her.” Phillip waves a dismissive hand in the air. “She’s delusional. I’ve told her repeatedly that there’s a difference between sex and dating. The fact she’d even think I’d date someone with as little self-control over their drug use as her and that low-class is laughable.”

  All kinds of thoughts of the danger Julian could be in are rushing through my mind. I begin to turn to ask Jack and Nathaniel what they suggest we do next, when I notice Bernie making the strangest face as he slowly pulls away from Phillip. With eyes flashing like daggers, he asks him, “What do you mean there’s a difference between sex and dating? Were you having sex with her?”

  Phillip laughs. “Of course not.” Just as relief washes over Bernie’s face, Phillip continues, “I let her get me off when she needs some meth, but I don’t really give her that much. You know how distasteful I find shooting up, so I don’t really want to be a part of that.”

  Suddenly, Phillip is shoved into the doorframe and one of Bernie’s big paws is wrapped around his neck, practically cutting off his airwaves. “When I asked you why Tasha told me you two were in love a few months ago, you told me you had no idea why.”

  Phillip’s eyes are wide with fear, but his arrogance has his mouth twisted in contempt. “I don’t know why she thinks that,” he grinds out. “And what’s it matter to you?”


  “That was months ago, Phillip. It’s been over a year since Julian left. How long?” When Phillip doesn’t answer, he demands, “How long?” while shaking Phillip’s body by the neck like he’s a ragdoll.

  “Since the beginning. Just like she said, and you were there, remember? The first time I was ever with her was at your house the night I came to check on you after the car crash. Then the night Julian up and left, we let her hang out with us again. She’s been around since then, I suppose.”

  “But… we’ve been together since then.” Bernie drops his hand from around Phillip’s neck; his face the embodiment of heartbroken. Jack, Nathaniel, Chuck, and I all exchange mildly fascinated, one-hundred percent horrified looks at the scene we’re witnessing. Feeling sorry for someone I hold in as much contempt as I do Bernie didn’t seem possible until being privy to Phillip’s ugliness and obvious disregard for anyone else’s feelings.

  Phillip sneers, “Bernie, we’re best friends. We’re not together-together, like dating together. We satisfy an itch for each other. We understand our life-style and share sex partners without dealing with unnecessary drama. What’s your problem?”

  Bernie shakes his head. “You don’t think I’m good enough for you, do you?”

  “Well, I barely tell my family we’re friends. Can you imagine me even telling them we’re best friends? They don’t approve of your lack of standards when dealing.” Phillip is rubbing his neck as he talks and looking for all the world like he has no idea why him and Bernie are even having this conversation. If I wasn’t being choked by fear for Julian, I’d maybe kick Phillip’s ass on behalf of Bernie and Tasha.

  “But, I only—you know what? Never mind.” Jack tilts his head toward the car, so the four of us begin moving off the porch. Chuck doesn’t even protest. Bernie stable isn’t exactly reassuring, so pissed off or sick with despair… I don’t want any of us to be anywhere near here if he has some kind of psychotic break. Our small movements draw Bernie’s attention. “I’ll give you guys the location of the house Tasha stays at sometimes. It’s an old abandoned place on eighth. If she found a way to get Julian there, he’s in trouble. She’s not right in the head. And I don’t mean just from the drugs, she’s never been right in the head. And if what she was babbling about to me regarding Julian is true, she really thinks the only reason her and Phillip aren’t living together and married is because of Julian.”