Grumpy Boss

by Hamel, B. B.

  “Hello, Kevin,” I said, sliding into his booth. Millie slid in next to me, her knee touching mine. “I’m glad I caught you.”

  “Been a while,” he said. “I didn’t think my standing invitation would ever be used.”

  “I didn’t think you’d actually have me on the list,” I said, grinning a little.

  “Truth be told, I forgot I did that,” he said. “But I’m glad you came.” He leaned forward and looked at Millie. “Who’s this? The girlfriend?”

  “Assistant,” I said. “And maybe girlfriend, if she’s lucky.”

  Millie elbowed me then shook Kevin’s hand. “Millie. Nice to meet you.”

  “Charmed,” he said, and leaned back to study me. I met Kevin a couple years ago when I bought one of his properties. I ended up razing it down and building an office tower, but we connected during the negotiations, and have been friendly ever since. “So what brings you to my domain? You’re not the night life sort of man.”

  “No, I’m not,” I said. “I’m actually here on business.”

  He made a face and sipped his coffee. “Let me guess. You want to try and convince me to invest in your little SPAC.”

  I smiled slightly and spread my hands. “I guess there aren’t any secrets in this business.”

  “Not at all,” he said. “Truth be told, I’m not very interested in the whole business, so it’s nothing personal. I prefer to invest in physical assets. Property, art, that sort of thing.”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t imagine you buying art,” I said, laughing to myself.

  Kevin grinned at me and shook his head. “I don’t know shit about the stuff. I got this girl, real smart, went to some Ivy League school. Nice ass too. Anyway, she buys my shit and parks it in this warehouse out near the airport, basically makes it tax free, so when I sell it, boom, pure profit. Real nice situation.”

  I glanced at Millie and she seemed almost disgusted, but was hiding it well enough. The world of high finance wasn’t exactly a bastion of gender equality. Frankly, lots of sexist fucking dick bags had a lot of money, and the money only made empowered them.

  “You sure I can’t convince you?” I asked.

  “Positive, but tell you what. Since you came out to visit me, I’ll throw you a bone.”

  “Ten million would be a good start,” I said, grinning.

  He laughed and banged on the table. “That’s what I like about you Rees. No bullshit. You go for what you want.”

  I glanced toward Millie. “Damn right I do.”

  “Listen, I know a guy, okay? Goes by the name of Byron, lives out in Colorado. He’s a cattle rancher.”

  Millie perked up. “Like a cowboy?”

  Kevin pointed at her. “Exactly like a god damn cowboy.”

  “And he’s got enough to invest?” I asked, a little skeptical. I didn’t know of any rich cowboys out in Colorado named Byron, and that was exactly the sort of thing I’d know about.

  “He’s got more than enough. Dumb bastard’s been buying gold, like literal fucking gold bars, and burying it out on his property. Prepper type, you understand, but he’s got this baby girl now and he’s thinking about trying to leave her something. So he’s suddenly a player.”

  “Interesting,” I said, touching my chin. There weren’t a lot of guys that a lot of cash to invest but weren’t known in the money world yet. This could be a big deal for me—if I could get to him first. “Send me his details.”

  “Will do. I’ll make an introduction.” Kevin banged on the table again, grinning huge. “God damn I love making deals happen. Do you feel it, Rees? That god damn rush?”

  “I’d feel it if you wrote a check,” I said, and he laughed even louder. I leaned up against Millie and gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. As I turned back to Kevin, I felt my phone vibrate.

  It was a text from an unknown number.

  This is Judith. Lady Fluke will see you tomorrow morning for breakfast. 7am sharp. Do not be late.

  My eyebrows arched up to my hairline. I halfway expected Fluke to blow us off. I showed the text to Millie, which got a similar reaction from her, then looked back at Kevin.

  “Thanks again for your help,” I said. “Turns out, we have a breakfast meeting tomorrow morning, so we’d better head out.”

  “So soon?” Kevin grunted and waved a hand. “Alright then, day walkers. I never understood why people loved the sun so much. I always fall asleep when it peeks its dumb face up over the horizon. Exhausting, all that light.”

  “I think you’re unique that way,” I said.

  He laughed again and waved faster. “Go on, go get your beauty sleep. I’ll send over Byron’s information.”

  “Thank you,” I said, and turned away. Millie left with me, and we headed across the room again.

  I leaned close to her, and I saw the question in her eyes. But before we got to business, I had one more thing I needed to do.

  I put a hand on the small of her back. She opened her mouth to say something—then her jaw fell open when I moved down to grip her ass. I held it there, squeezing just a little bit, before moving my hand back up.

  “Don’t flip,” I said, leaning my lips down near her ear.

  “You just grabbed my ass,” she hissed. “In the middle of that room. Kevin probably saw it.”

  “Good,” I said. “Kevin will spread this little rumor around, that I’m sleeping with my assistant. And there are three other finance people in here, each of them will back his story up. This’ll help combat the Giana rumors and cement our fake relationship in the world.”

  “You asshole,” she said, walking stiffly, but she didn’t pull away.

  She knew this was part of the deal, even if she didn’t like it. We had to make this fake thing seem real—and grabbing her ass in a club was definitely one way to go about it. There were other, less physical ways, but those tended to be very boring.

  We moved through the loud downstairs then out into the night. We passed the long line of people waiting to get inside—and I recognized some of their faces, still exhausted, still hopeful that if only they could get inside, then their lives would be fun again. I wished I could tell them, inside was no better than anywhere else.

  Millie turned to face me as soon as we were past the line. She got very close, and for one brief, exciting second I thought she might try and kiss me. Instead, she punched me in the arm very hard.

  “Next time you grab my ass, I’m hitting you in the dick,” she said.

  I laughed, rubbing my shoulder. “You’ve got a good right hook.”

  “Don’t forget it.” She glared at me, and that only made me more excited for some reason. Pissing her off was fun, and feeling her tight ass was even better, so if I had to avoid some dick punches in the future, so be it. I could handle that.

  She whirled and stormed off, and I followed after her, still grinning to myself.

  9

  Millie

  I kept thinking about Rees’s palm squeezing my ass in a room full of rich people.

  My immediate reaction was disturbing. Instead of being angry, some stupid, primal part of my brain sent excitement endorphins rushing through my bloodstream, and I wanted him to do it again, but harder. And then I realized what had happened, and the anger started.

  I understood what he was going for, but still. We had a deal, and nowhere in that deal did it mention the occasional groping. The bastard acted like he hated everyone and everything, including me half the time, but then suddenly he wants to feel me up, like he can’t get enough. And that dumb smile on his face the rest of the night—I wished I’d hit him in the balls to start with instead of that warning shot to the arm.

  He slept on the couch that night, and I got the big bed. In the morning, we were up early, and out the door with time to spare. Judith met us outside the Lady’s hotel, wearing big, chunky sunglasses her hair in a messy bun, though her clothes were immaculate—black slacks and a white flowing blouse.

  “You’re lat
e,” she said, looking at her watch.

  “It’s six fifty,” Rees said, not bothering to double check. “I’m early.”

  “Early is late. Come on.” Judith whirled around and stormed back toward the lobby.

  “I thought you were friends with Lady Fluke,” I said, falling in beside Rees.

  “I was,” he said. “I think I still am.”

  “So why does Judith act like you don’t know her at all.”

  “The Lady is very difficult sometimes,” he said, glancing down at me. I wondered if he kept thinking about his palm on my ass, just like I was. “When you’re out, you’re very much out. It doesn’t matter if we’d shown up an hour early, she would still be annoyed.”

  The lobby was a glittering marble-fueled mish-mash of opulence and wealth. There were few people lounging on the chairs and couches, and Judith steered us past the front desk and into a large dining room. More people sat at the tables: well-tanned man in boat shoes and expensive-looking shirts, and women with more jewels on their throats than I’d ever seen in my life.

  Tucked up in the far corner was a tall woman, light brown hair down around her shoulders, sitting straight-backed, a scowl on her lips. She was in her fifties at least, wore minimal makeup, and a very tasteful, and very expensive seeming pantsuit in a soft pink.

  “She’s in a good mood,” Judith hissed at Rees, pulling her sunglasses off. “So you’re lucky. You have ten minutes. Don’t waste it.”

  He ignored her and approached the woman. She stared up at him, a frown on her face, and he bowed slightly at the waist, holding out a hand.

  “You’re as radiant as always,” he said.

  Lady Fluke rolled her eyes and took his palm. He raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them, barely a brush against her skin.

  “And you’re still full of it, Rees,” she said, her voice a lilting English accent. “Who did you bring with you? Is this the pop star?”

  “Please, Lady,” he said. “You know what Giana looks like. This is my assistant, Millie.” He released her hand and she folded them in her lap.

  “A new assistant then,” she said, glancing at me. “Pretty. And young. Where’d you find her?”

  “My cousin recommended her to me.” He sat down and I took the chair next to him. Judith disappeared back the way we’d come, and left us alone at the table with the Lady.

  She seemed very unhappy to see Rees, even though she must’ve known that the whole Giana thing was fake by now. Her back remained straight, and she drank her tea with small, dainty sips, like even the act of bringing cup to mouth was too crass for her. Rees folded his hands on the table in front of him, and I tried to mirror her posture, but failed after ten seconds of it. I couldn’t imagine sitting like that my entire life.

  “Lori,” Lady Fluke said. “Nice girl, that one. It’s a shame you didn’t get her genes.”

  “I agree,” Rees said. “I’m glad you were willing to meet with me regardless.”

  “Yes, well. Giana and Cousin Linus told me the story, and I almost felt bad for you. Of course, you deserve it, but still.”

  Rees’s smile was tight as he learned toward her. “And tell me, why would I deserve having my reputation smeared?”

  “Just because you didn’t have an affair with Giana, doesn’t mean you haven’t made that same sort of mistake in the past.”

  I looked between them and felt my heart racing. She looked partially angry, partially amused, and Rees seemed studiously neutral, like he was trying not to reveal how he felt. This whole time, I found it hard to believe that Rees was truly friends with an aristocratic biscuit magnate twenty years older than him, and yet seeing them together, I could almost understand it. She had that same, pissed-off affect, like she was frustrated that the world wasn’t as she wanted it to be. He looked around the same way: like he could almost change things, for the better, if only the fabric the universe would bend to his will.

  They were a match made in heaven, or maybe in hell. Either way, it was a match, and I wanted to get far away from there.

  “That’s also unfair,” he said. “But I understand you’re angry.”

  “My family doesn’t like scandal,” she said, her words clipped and short. “Linus is a prominent politician. This little news story might have set his career back.”

  “And you wouldn’t have some major investments in his career, would you?” Rees smirked at her softly. I gaped at him, shocked that he’d make such an insinuation, but Lady Fluke didn’t seem bothered.

  “You know I do,” she said. “The Italian market’s been difficult, and I hope Linus can help soften them up for us a bit.”

  “And here you are, giving me a lecture on ethics.”

  “I don’t get caught,” she said, leaning toward him. “You think I care who you sleep with? You should know me better than that by now.”

  Rees nodded slowly. “I do, and you should know me. I’d never get involved in scandal that might hurt you.”

  “Yet here we are.” She took another sip of her tea. “Explain how.”

  “Desmond,” I said. “I showed Linus the proof.”

  “Yes, you did.” Her lips pursed. “I find it hard to believe.”

  “He still holds a grudge, even after all these years.”

  She tapped her fingers against the teacup. Her nails were pristine and simple, manicured, shaped, and covered in a clear coat. “Why are you here, Rees? You wouldn’t have hunted me down all the way out here if there weren’t a reason.”

  “Making amends isn’t enough?” he asked, tilting his head to one side, and I thought he was pushing it a little hard. She already seemed in a bad mood, and we really did need something for her—I thought he’d be more apologetic.

  And yet maybe that wasn’t the sort of person Lady Fluke was. She must’ve known, better than I did.

  “Not for you,” she said. “Spit it out then. I have to be going soon. I’m sure Judith told you my schedule.”

  “She’s a peach, that one,” Rees said, and leaned back in his chair, seeming casual for such a large moment. “I met a man named Alfie Mackie recently. He’s a bond trader, and he wants to invest in your company.”

  Lady Fluke let out a slow sigh. “Rees,” she said. “You know I don’t have any American investors.”

  “Not yet, you don’t,” he said, tapping a knuckle on the table. “Alfie’s the real deal and backed by a good shop. I know he’s a little distasteful, but it’s time for you to grow. Let him buy some bonds, just to get a foot in the door. I’ll send you his prospectus. I promise, it’s interesting.”

  She studied him for a long moment as she finished her tea. I felt like the whole room was zoomed down to one tiny spot, one miniscule moment in time, and everyone was staring, hanging on Lady Fluke’s words. Of course, that wasn’t sure—the dining room continued on like nothing had happened, the sound of chatter and cutlery against plates making an easy white-noise soundtrack, but I was fully invested.

  Slowly, Lady Fluke looked toward me. I blinked once, then twice, and felt as though I were stuck to my chair. “I want to talk to your assistant first,” she said.

  Rees grunted in surprise and looked in my direction. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Millie knows some details, but—“

  “Please,” Lady Fluke said.

  Rees pushed back from the table and stood. “By all means then. I’ll be in the lobby if you need me.” And with that, he left me alone. I wanted to reach out and grab his wrist, tell him he could squeeze my ass one more time if he promised not to leave me along with Lady Fluke, but he was already gone, and I didn’t think that would help our situation at all.

  “Well,” she said, lips turning into a thin line again. “How do you find working for that man?”

  I cleared my throat, shifted in my chair, and forced myself to meet her very intense stare. That woman looked like she wanted to crack open my head and drink my brains with a crazy straw—and I had no doubt she could do it, too.

  “He’s difficul
t,” I said, choosing to go with truth, since I knew she’d see through my bullshit.

  “That’s putting it nicely,” she said, and a very small smile cracked her face. It had the effect of softening her features a touch and made her seem almost human. “I noticed the way you looked at him. And he gazed back as well, when you were sitting down. I know Rees very well, and I know what that look means.”

  I tried to think back to the last ten minutes, if I’d given anything away, but I didn’t think I had. Lady Fluke was perceptive though, and mixing that with her apparently intimacy with Rees meant she could practically read our minds.

  “I’m trying to keep things simple,” I said, dodging her accusation without lying, exactly.

  “Of course,” she said, and for the first time since I sat down, she seemed to relax. “I wanted to say, please, be careful with Rees. He hasn’t had an assistant in so long, and I think he desperately needs one. And perhaps a nice, pretty woman will do him some good.”

  “Ah, thank you, I think,” I said, blushing like she’d just called me the most beautiful girl in the whole world. I was smitten with Lady Fluke, like a child looking up to a mentor, and it was definitely insane.

  “But don’t fall in love with him, dear,” she said. “I’ve seen it before. You think you can soften him, and maybe fix him, but I promise, there’s nothing to fix. That man is what he is, and he’ll never change.”

  “I don’t plan on loving him,” I said quickly, hands up in the air. “I mean, not even a little bit.”

  “No?” Lady Fluke’s smile tightened. “So why did Kevin send me a text message this morning about Rees having a relationship with you?”

  I felt like my entire body turned into a balloon, filled with helium, then popped in one desperate explosion. I slumped in my chair, wishing I really could collapse into myself like a dying star.

  “It’s not like that,” I said.

  “I’m sure.” She cleared her throat, finished her tea, and sat up straighter, if that was even possible. “Tell Rees I’ll look at Alfie’s proposal, but no promises. And as for you, heed my warning. Don’t fall in love with that man. It will only bring you trouble. For as much as I think he’s a good person, he’ll never change. You’ll find yourself with a broken heart if you try it.” She stood then, like a panther uncurling from a tree branch. She stepped forward, put a hand on my shoulder, and smiled—like a bright light in a dark room. She walked off then, leaving me alone at the table.