Mated from the Morgue: A Tale of the Second Empire
Page 12
CHAPTER XII.
ORANGE-BLOSSOMS.
There be marriages which are made in heaven, some poet tells us, but inFrance they are more usually negotiated over the desk of the notarypublic. This is the system: Monsieur A---- wants a wife, he goes toLawyer B----, says:
'Old friend, you are aware of my pecuniary circumstances--it is time forme to think of getting mated--do you know any lady with an eligiblefortune in your _client?le_?'
'Let me see,' says B----, taking a pinch of snuff. 'Oh! there's C----'swidow, a capital alliance; got a good annuity in her own right.'
Perhaps A---- is particularly nice, doesn't like widows.
'Then, what d'ye think of D----'s daughter?' continues the lawyer.
'Faded and ugly.'
'But rich, accomplished, and of good family.'
A---- shakes his head negatively.
'Hem, so we must have beauty! What do you say to E----'s sister?'
'Do you want me to marry my grandmother--don't like the reigning toastsof the last generation. Good-morning.'
'Stay, there's F----'s niece; that's your mark.'
'Ah! now you're getting reasonable; think I could like the woman; sawher once at the opera.'
'And she has a pretty dowry and big expectations.'
A----'s face is getting radiant.
'Where can I meet her?'
'Madame B---- will give a little _soir?e_ on Thursday night; we shallinvite her.'
Mdlle. F---- is trotted out like a filly at Tattersail's--her paces areshown--report favourable.
'Have you any objection to receiving Monsieur A---- as a suitor?' asksthe nearest of kin.
Mademoiselle blushes, but is too well-bred to say no. Monsieur comes,dressed to death, spruce as if he stepped out of a bandbox, andmademoiselle is prepared to receive him, nearest of kin being alwayspresent. Mademoiselle has got her instructions; they were somewhat inthe key of the admonition little boys make to the bears in the Jardindes Plantes: _fais le beau_, 'do the handsome.' Monsieur payscompliments to mademoiselle, always through the nearest of kin, and she,dear, well-bred creature, listens to monsieur with sweetest politeness,never betraying a vulgar desire to look into the face, much less intothe heart, of the man who is to be her future guide through life, herpartner in the tomb. Thus the comedy proceeds. Nearest of kin does thecourting, which is not too painfully elongated. The _trousseau_ isbought and exhibited. Monsieur buys the _corbeille_, which is ordinarilyexpected to amount in value to one-tenth of the dowry he gets with hiswife (which dowry particular care is taken to settle on the wifeherself). The banns are published; one day a party appears before theMairie, and a commercial--we beg pardon, a marriage contract is signed,a supererogatory gallop to a neighbouring church takes place to satisfyconventionalism, and Mdlle. F---- becomes Madame A----. There is no lovebefore marriage in nine cases out of ten; of the love which grows upafter marriage we are too delicate to speak. It is understood--onlysometimes it will happen that monsieur has a club and madame a _cavaliereservente_. And madame, dear, well-bred creature, endeavours to make upfor the reserve imposed on mademoiselle, and it is perfectly astonishingto discover what a profound knowledge of the world and its schemes andslanders the shy young maiden of last week contrives to develop all atonce in her married household.
The reader will have remarked that O'Hara received the announcement thathis Irish friend had succeeded in his proposal without surprise. Thesole reason was that O'Hara had been living sufficiently long in Franceto know that marriages are arranged with the same celerity that onewould toss a pancake, and that if the financial requirements aresatisfied it is easy to fulfil the exigencies of affection.
During the interval that preceded the interesting ceremony (to borrow aphrase from the newspapers), which was not to take place until afterEaster, the O'Hoolohan Roe was a constant visitor at the Rue de laVieille Estrapade, only now he called himself the O'Hoolohan Dhuv, hissly countryman having bantered him on the affix Roe, which applies onlyto a light-complexioned, red-haired man, while he was tawny ofcomplexion and black-haired as a Spaniard of the south. A mostunmerciful bantering he did give him anent his assumption of the _The_.
'You a democrat!' he said, 'how is it that you cling to thatparticle?'--and then he told him the anecdotes of the English officer incharge of a detachment of troops at Bruff, one Captain Bull, upon whomthe O'Grady of Kilballyowen left his card, who had scribbled The Bull ofBruff on the pasteboard he left in return; and of Sir Allan M'Nab, whohad had the good taste to write on his card The _other_ M'Nab, after hehad received a visit from _The_ M'Nab in Scotland. But O'Hoolohan wasproof against satire, and retorted to his friend's joking that Mr. Bulland the Canadian knight were snobs, and deserved to be horse-whipped byThe O'Grady and The M'Nab--that he was The O'Hoolohan, and that thoughhis father chose to call himself Holland, he reverted to the old Irishname, O'Hoolohan, for which it was the substitute, and which meant'proud little man.' He repeated the lines:
'By Mac and O You'll always know True Irishmen, they say; But if they lack Both O and Mac, No Irishmen are they.'
And in the end O'Hara, who was also proud of his Milesian patronymic,was obliged to admit he was right.
The banns were published at the church and at the Mairie, and at theclose of the necessary three weeks, during which Berthe received adelicious fresh bouquet every morning from her lover, and then secludedherself over some mysterious female work with Caroline, the happy day(we draw on the newspapers again) arrived. Two carriages were marshalledbefore the municipal institution in the Place du Panth?on; two charminggirls in white and a venerable, stately, white-haired man descended fromthe one; a man in the prime of life, with a younger companion of thesame sex, both in suit of ceremony, alighted from the other. There was abrief series of interrogatories and a jotting down of signaturesinside, and the party emerged, re-entered the carriages in the sameorder, and leisurely drove to the Church of St. Stephen of the Mount atthe other side of the square. A beadle, magnificently attired, awaitedand conducted them with pompous air, pounding his staff of office atintervals on the sacred pavement, to a little altar, where the prieststood ready-vested. The ceremony by which two are made one wassolemnized: there was blushing as a ring was pressed on a little finger,and a few tears as a little hand parted from the tight grasp of CaptainChauvin; and then the nuptial Mass was said and the Benedictionpronounced in which God is prayed to make the newly-wedded amiable toher husband as Rachel, wise as Rebecca, and faithful as Sarah. Again theparty emerged, but this time Captain Chauvin, Caroline, and O'Haraentered the second carriage together, for the first was occupied byMonsieur and Madame O'Hoolohan.
Half an hour afterwards there was solemn silence in the apartment in theRue de la Vieille Estrapade, for Mr. Manus O'Hara, in a particularlyneat and appropriate speech, had proposed the memory of the Man, andCaptain Chauvin was crying, but--the wicked old man!--there was moregladness than sorrow in his tears. The Irish are born orators. Nobodywho heard the brilliant discourse in which Monsieur O'Hoolohan gaveFrance, and eulogized the _entente cordiale_ which had been made thatmorning before the altar between it and Ireland, could deny that fact.His voice, like O'Brien's of the Irish Brigade, in the lyric of ThomasDavis, was 'hoarse with joy,' as he fondly regarded his bride, and woundup a florid and flourishing peroration by a marked allusion to futurealliances between the countries which he hoped to live to see,illustrated by playful winks at O'Hara and the brunette. But thebrunette kept never minding, and O'Hara's hand rose involuntarily to hisshirt-bosom, under which reposed a certain tress of woman's hair. As forPat, who was among the guests, he had feasted so heartily in honour ofthe occasion that he fell asleep while his master was on his legs.