Happy Never After

by Candace Dowds

  “Fine, I was with Cole.”

  “Annndddd?” he presses.

  “He wants to get back together. I know I’ll always love him, but I’ve asked him to give me some time to think. Maybe I’ll take him back, maybe I won’t. Only time will tell,” I explain before exhaling. Cole was all I could think about the whole time I was driving home.

  “You know you’re going to take him back, but I am glad you didn’t just jump in head first. Make sure you know what you want, then go after it. You deserve to be happy. I know you never stopped loving Cole, but that doesn’t mean he’s the perfect fit for you. I’m not saying he isn’t. I was always working back in the day and I didn’t have a single clue that you were dating him since I was such a shit father. However, please remember that you left him all those years ago with good reason. Just do me a favour and keep that in mind.” He smiles as he reaches out and rests his hand on my forearm.

  “I will, dad. I don’t plan on being hurt again.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  “Right, I really need to get some work done so I don’t lose any clients. I’ve worked too hard over the years for that to happen.” My client base keeps my bank account looking

  damn good. Hell, I could retire now if I wanted to, but I can’t because I know I would go stir crazy with nothing to do.

  “No problem. I’ll bring over dinner later, because if I don’t, I know you’ll get distracted and not eat,” he tells me as he turns the key on the ATV.

  Letting go of the suitcase handle I give my father a tight hug. “Thank you,” I call over the sound of the engine.

  My father kisses my cheek. “Of course,” he calls in return and when I let go of him, he speeds off into the open field. As he does, I turn on my heels and I wheel my suitcase into the cabin.

  Once I’ve unpacked my laptop, I lay it out beside my desktop computer, and spend some time with my dog, showing him all the love he deserves. Soon after, he has grown tired and I pick up my phone and I call Cole using the number I still know off by heart from all those years ago.

  “Hello?”

  Smiling to myself, I respond, “Hey, it’s me. Just calling to tell you I arrived home safely.”

  “I’ve been worried sick. Where the hell do you live? It’s been hours.” He chuckles.

  Yes, even though we’d been together for the past forty-eight hours, my address had never come up in conversation. “I live in Mansfield. I’m out on a few acres, and dad

  has a house on the other side of the property, four kilometres away.”

  “Wow, that sounds like you’re living the dream.”

  “I am. I love it here, it’s the perfect place to get my work done. We’re definitely in the middle of nowhere.”

  “I’ll have to come and check it out one day, if you’ll let me?”

  “I will, but for now I need to focus on keeping my clientele. I just need a couple of weeks to work my ass off and then we can organise a date.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Okay, I really do need to finish off some designs I managed to start when my mum would sleep after she’d receive pain killers. It was the only time I could attempt to work.” I miss her so much and I know that her absence is something that’s going to take some time to get used to. After my parents’

  divorce, I’d spoken with my mother every day, even after I moved up to Mansfield. We always made sure we reserved at least five minutes for one another to check in and make sure everything was okay. They were the phone calls I’ll miss dearly.

  “Are you okay? It’s only been a few days since she passed.”

  “I will be. I’m hoping time will help. It’s not something I can put my focus on right now,

  because if I do, I know I’ll break down. But at least my father is close by. He’s been my rock over the last few months.” My dad had come out to my mother’s home when we were told she only had a couple of weeks to live, and to my surprise they managed to put aside their differences and get along. He even went as far as to help me care for her. It’s something I will always cherish, especially the mental image I took as my mother died in his arms. It was nice to finally have a fond memory of them together, because I didn’t have any from when they were married.

  “I’m glad he’s there for you, but please know that you can call me anytime. Whether it be day or night, I don’t care, just know I’ll always answer you. If you need me there, I will drop everything I’m doing and shoot straight up to you. Never hesitate to

  ask, because I know you will. You are far too stubborn to ask for help, but I need you to break that habit. You aren’t a burden. Remember that, okay?”

  Blinking away my tears, I tell him, “I will try my very best to remember that.”

  “Good.”

  “Right, I need to work. I’ll speak to you later?”

  “Anytime.”

  “Bye, Cole.”

  “Goodbye, Mia,” And we hang up from one another.

  For the next 4 weeks, I speak to Cole on a daily basis and things seem to be headed in the right direction. I like knowing he’s there for me, and that I had someone I could turn to other than Matt, Leah, and my father. I like to keep my circle of trusted friends and family small, because I’ve always known it’s about quality not quantity.

  On the following Saturday, as I sit back on my sofa drinking a glass of red wine while watching Dexter reruns, my laptop begins to ring, someone’s trying to Skype me.

  Taking my glass with me, I sit down and see that it’s Matt who is trying to call, so I hit the

  accept button.

  When his beautiful face appears on the screen, I smile. “Hey, you. Why aren’t you out trying to get laid?” I chuckle and so does Matt.

  “So much for you knowing all the gossip,” he gives me a knowing look.

  Confused, I ask, “What the he’ll are you talking about?” Shaking his head, he does a tsk-tsk, sound, and it heightens my curiosity. “Speak, asshole,” I threaten in a mocking tone.

  “How do you not know that I’m seeing Leah? Your best friend?”

  My mouth drops open and my eyes are so wide I’m convinced they’re about to pop right out of my head. “Get the fuck out of here! Are you screwing with me? You’d better not be screwing with me!” Damn, that came out louder than I’d anticipated.

  Using the mouse, I try to conference Leah in on the call, and while I do, Matt continues to laugh.

  “You’re going to call her, aren’t you?”

  “You bet your fat ass I am.”

  Once I’ve clicked the call button and I’m waiting for her to answer, Matt says, “My ass is perfect, girl. and don’t you forget it.”

  Just then, Leah appears. “Who’s forgetting

  what?” she questions.

  “Hey, babe, Mia told me I had a fat ass. I was just telling her it was a perfect ass and that she should never forget it,” Matt explains.

  “Oh my god, would the pair of you just tell me when you started seeing each other and why the hell wasn’t I your very first phone call?” They’re trying to kill me, the pair of them, I’m sure of it.

  “I swear, I was going to call you tonight,” Leah starts. “It’s been non-stop at work over the last week. I swear I wasn’t trying to keep

  it from you. Not at all,” she explains.

  “You had better not be bullshitting me!” I warn.

  Matt begins to laugh. “You can’t do shit from where you are.”

  Asshole. “My car tops well over two hundred kilometres per hour. Zero to a hundred in five seconds, I could be there to kick your ass before you know it,” I assure him.

  “Bring it on.” Yup, I’m going to kill him.

  “Dick.” I sneer. “So, when did this all happen?”

  Matt is the one to answer. “The night of your mum’s funeral. I guess that’s why I’ve been putting off telling you because I didn’t want to make it sound like I was pimping on the

  hardest day of your life so far.”


  My heart softens, and I completely understand why they’ve waited to tell me. They really are sweet, but I can’t tell them that. “I wouldn’t have thought that, at all. Hell, I got laid the night of my mother’s funeral. How can I yell at you for beginning a relationship?”

  Both Matt and Leah look shocked. “Don’t tell me it was with Cole?” Matt questions, and as he does he comes across in a very serious manner, something I’m not used to seeing from him.

  “Are you an idiot? Of course, it was Cole,”

  Leah adds sarcastically.

  “Fuck!” Matt is upset. Come to think of it, he was also rather upset when Cole showed up to my mother’s burial, too.

  “Okay, you need to tell me why you’re so pissed off now, and why you were so pissed off when Cole showed up to the burial. Clearly, something’s going on, something neither you nor Cole are letting me in on. I need to know because I’m on a daily call basis with him and I told him I won’t let him hurt me again. So, spit it out,” I demand. Knowing Matt is worried has me on edge. At first, I thought he just didn’t want to see me with my ex after the bullshit from all those years ago. But Cole is Matt’s best friend,

  even to this day, so there has to be something much bigger going on here.

  Matt runs his hands down his face out of frustration. “Argh. I know I promised him I wouldn’t say anything until he’d dealt with the situation, but...” When he gives pause, Leah jumps in before I get a chance to.

  “What the hell is it, Matt? You’d better tell us now, or we’re going to have big problems,” she threatens.

  “Okay, fine, okay.” Again, he pauses, but I don’t push him because I know that whatever it is, it’s serious and he’s trying to find a tactful way to go about it. “I’m just going to say it.” Again, he pauses, and with

  each passing second, my nerves begin to get the best of me. “Cole, the idiot he is, went to Vegas last year with a girl called Sam. They hadn’t been together long and I knew it wouldn’t last because Cole never got over you. Each relationship went to shit, fast. Anyway, while they were there, they got married.”

  As the words begin to sink in, my stomach drops and I shoot up out of my chair. I only just make it to the bin in the kitchen before I begin to bring up everything I’ve eaten today.

  My stomach contracts over and over again, until there’s nothing left.

  As I continue to hover over the bin, I try to get a hold on my breathing. When the lightheaded feeling subsides, I straighten before I pick up the bottle of wine that’s on the dark-stained counter and take a sip, swishing it around in my mouth and spitting it into the sink.

  “You okay, Mia?” I hear Matt call.

  With the bottle in my hand, I head back to the desk and sit down, still in a state of shock.

  “Is he still married?” I whisper. I need to know what the state his marriage is and if it’s still an issue.

  “He’s still married. Granted, he’s been trying to get a divorce because he immediately

  regretted it, and he cursed himself out for being stupid enough to get that drunk and high on weed that night. It was his first time, but Sam is infatuated with him and she refuses to sign the divorce papers.”

  My body slumps in the chair. Suddenly, everything feels heavy, and my heart is crushed. “Why the hell didn’t he tell me this sometime between the twelve times we had sex over a forty-eight-hour period? This is so fucked up!”

  “Twelve times?” Leah asks, clearly shocked. And all I can do is nod because I still can’t believe Cole is married. He’s married and it’s

  not to me. That hurts more than I ever thought imaginable.

  There is a bitch out there who’s married to the man I love. She shares his name and who knows what else. Fuck. My. Life.

  “I knew it was too good to be true,” I whisper in disbelief.

  “He doesn’t love her, Mia. That is something I know for sure,” poor Matt tries to tell me.

  “I don’t care. Once again, he has tried to pull the wool over my eyes. I need to message him. I can’t call him because I know I’ll break down.” It’s all so surreal.

  “Don’t you dare hang up on us. I want you to do it with us here to support you,” Leah warns. Oh, how I love her.

  “Ditto,” Matt adds.

  Once I’ve taken a sip from the bottle of wine, I place it on the desk in front of me and pick up my phone.

  When I’ve opened a new message and added Cole as the recipient, I stare blankly at the screen, unsure of where to start.

  “What do I say? My mind is drawing a blank. I don’t know if I’m more hurt or angry, and I can’t put anything into words,” I tell them.

  “Give him the facts. Tell him he lied to you and that he can eat a dick for not telling you everything. You don’t deserve to be the

  ‘other woman,’ regardless of their relationship status. All I see is the fact that he’s married and nothing else. You don’t need to be dragged along and into a messy divorce. This woman is in love, or in lust, with him and from the sounds of things, it’s going to be drawn out. I know that if you don’t nip this in the bud now, you’ll let the situation get to you and you’ll do what you always do. You’ll close up emotionally and then you’ll blow. You just lost your mother, Mia. Don’t take his shit on too,” Leah tells me and she looks as if she’s about to cry.

  She’s right. So, I begin typing out a message to Cole.

  Cole, I don’t know why you keep doing this, I don’t know why you continue to lie to me and keep important information from me.

  We spent two whole days together and you

  didn’t have the decency to tell me you were married? You took me to your bed, knowing you had a wife?

  You’ve done some messed up shit before, but this is by far the worst. Again, you promised not to hurt me, you promised that nothing would stand in our way, but that was all a lie. How the hell do you live with yourself knowing you’re ruining me? Do. Not. Contact. Me. Again.

  This is done. We are done.

  When I’ve read the message out to the others and they agree that it’s what needs to be said, I hit send, and immediately block Cole’s number from my phone. I don’t need him trying to repeatedly call me so he could try to talk his way out of the shit he’d find himself in, because that’s just what he does.

  As I sit and continue to talk to the others, we hear Matt’s phone go off, and each one of us knows who it was trying to call him before Matt even looks at the screen.

  Picking it up, he places the call on speaker, “Yeah?”

  “What the fuck? I was going to tell her about Sam as soon as I had the divorce papers signed. I didn’t want to worry Mia. I didn’t want to hurt her, she’s been through so much, I didn’t want to lump more on her just after her mum died. I didn’t think it would be fair on her. I know I fucked up and I’ve been

  doing all I can to un-fuck the situation. The divorce is so close. I can’t lose her, Matt. I can’t lose her again. I screwed up six years ago by acting like a dick, but I want it to work this time. I want to be with her. You of all people know just how much I’ve missed her. Mia is the only woman I will ever love. I will never find someone who could ever take her place. Fuck! I wish I’d never gone on that trip. I wish I’d never tried to fill the hole in

  my heart Mia left. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do, Matt. You know her best.”

  The tears fall down my cheeks. Just hearing his voice is making me crumble inside.

  “This is your screw up, Cole. I doubt you can fix it this time!” Leah screams.

  “Leah?” Cole questions.

  “Yup, it’s me. I told you not to lie to her under any circumstance, regardless of the situation. I cannot believe you were so stupid!”

  “I know that and as per usual, I’ve screwed up and hurt the woman I love.”

  “You bet your ass you did.”

  “I’m going, I can’t listen to this anymore,” I say.

  “Mia?” Cole asks in disbelief.
“Mia, don’t hang up. Please, please give me a minute, just one minute,” he begs.

  “No. You had your chance. I’m out. Goodbye.” And I hang up on all of them.

  For the next 3 weeks, all I do is work and wallow in self-pity.

  On a Saturday night, I can’t take it anymore, I need to go out in my car so I can drive away my frustration. It’s something that usually manages to calm me down. The closest bottle shop is a twenty-minute drive

  and I’d run out of wine the previous evening, so I was on a mission to acquire more booze.

  As I drive along the road, a road I know like the back of my hand, I switch on the headlights and crank the stereo. Eminem’s track Survival is playing, so I begin to scream along with the lyrics.

  As I follow the road into the left-hand bend, about halfway to town, I don’t even have time to react when a car comes flying around the corner and veers into my lane.

  And that’s all I can remember.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cole

  Regardless of what I try, I simply can’t manage to get through to Mia. By the third week, I meet with Gary, the private investigator I had following and gathering information on Samantha in the hopes of finding some dirt on the birch that could possibly help with the divorce proceedings.

  As I take a seat on the opposite side of the desk in Gary’s office, he begins to pull the file he has on Sam out of his desk drawer, but as he does, I stop him.

  “I’m not here to talk about her. If there’s anything I can use, just forward it to my lawyer,” I tell him.

  Gary is a large man, he’s bald and has a long grey beard. Scrunching up his face, he asks, “Okay then, what’s going on, Cole?”

  “I need you to find someone, someone very important to me.” I go on to tell Gary everything I know about Mia that could potentially help to find her.

  “Give me a couple of days to track her down. It shouldn’t be too difficult. The property is probably in the father’s name. As soon as I have something, I’ll call you,” he assures me.

  “Thanks.”

  Later that night, I head back to my hotel room. The same hotel room where Mia had spent those two days with me after her mother’s burial.