Hard to Forgive (Hard to Love Book 3)

by L. M. Reid

  It doesn’t matter anymore. Any chance of holding onto him disappeared the moment I told him I love him. For the past two years, despite us not being together, there has been just me and Cooper.

  Now, it’s just me.

  1

  Mia

  “Mrs. Evans, please accept my apology for the inconvenience,” I say so sweetly it nearly makes me gag. The prim and proper woman before me doesn’t seem to care about my apologies as she stands there with her lips pursed and her hand on her hip.

  Apologies come with the territory. More often than not, they’re warranted. Not when it comes to Mrs. Evans, though. Oh, no. She pulls this same stunt every single time. She storms into the hotel demanding her room, the room that she most certainly did not book. She then proceeds to blame my staff for what she claims is their mistake and demands an upgrade. I fell for it the first time. By the third time she did it, I was onto her little scheme.

  Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot I can do about it. Mrs. Evans is a family friend of the Brennan’s, and since the Brennan's own the hotel, that means that I need to cater to her – at least a little.

  “Let me just look and see what we have available for you,” I tell her, knowing full well she’s expecting one of our executive suites we typically offer up as an apology for her lost reservation.

  Like I said, this isn’t my first rodeo. While I need to accommodate her, I certainly do not need to give her the royal treatment. I click away at the keyboard, pretending I am looking something up, even though I already have her room keyed up and ready to go.

  “Ah-ha,” I say.

  “Ah-ha, what?” she asks with a snarky tone.

  I click print and grab the papers from the printer. “Here you go, the standard room you reserved,” I tell her. “I am so sorry about that mix up. She must have typed in the last name wrong, but no worries, I found it. And for the inconvenience, please accept these two complimentary drinks at the bar. Shall I have the bellhop show you to your room?”

  The thin smile on my lips is polite yet lets her know that I have her number. Hopefully, this will be the end of her tirade.

  She turns in a huff and storms toward the elevators, the poor bellhop struggling to keep up.

  Glancing down at my watch, I realize that I’ve spent more than enough time dealing with her. In fact, thanks to her, I’m now running late for dinner with Mitchell.

  As I hurry back to my office to gather my things I bump into Freddie. “Hey, just so you know, Mrs. Evans is here. I did not, however, upgrade her room.”

  “And how did she take that?” Freddie asks with her trademark giggle following shortly after.

  Freddie is one of the other assistant managers at the Palm Tree Resort. She and I have come up through the ranks here together. We both started out as Front Desk Representatives, then quickly made our way up the ladder. Aside from being my favorite co-worker, she’s also a dear friend. She's one of the few people that I am willing to give that title to.

  “She didn’t have a lot to say when I somehow found her reservation.”

  Freddie’s giggle turns into full blown laughter. “Oh, I bet she’s fuming.”

  “Exactly, so be on the lookout. Who knows what her wrath might hold?” I grab my green purse from the chair and my keys from the desk. “Call me if she’s too much trouble.”

  Twenty minutes later, I rush into the restaurant only to find that Mitchell hasn’t even arrived yet. I shouldn’t be surprised, he’s notoriously late. This time, luckily, it’s in my favor. I give my name for the reservation and the hostess seats me. I peruse the menu, making sure to order a glass of wine for me and a scotch on the rocks for him.

  Ten minutes pass before Mitchell comes breezing through. “I am so sorry I’m late.”

  I remain seated, allowing him to bend and press a chaste kiss to my cheek. “No problem. Just sitting back relaxing and running up your tab with my wine consumption.”

  “Have at it. It’s the least I owe you for all you’ve been doing lately,” Mitchell compliments.

  Mitchell Brennan is an incredible man – and an even better boss. A few months ago, Mitchell took over the reins at Contemporary Lodging for his father. His previous role as General Manager of The Palm Tree Resort was vacated and has yet to be filled. In the interim, Freddie and I, along with the other assistant manager Ross, have been running the place. Needing a light at the end of the tunnel, I can’t help but hope that this dinner is a prelude to a job offer. After all, years of sweat, tears, and frustration have to pay off at some point.

  “You know I’m always happy to help,” I assure him.

  He takes a sip of the scotch that I ordered him. “Man, I needed that.” Finally settling in, Mitchell takes a deep breath and relaxes. “So, how have you been?”

  I refrain from groaning at his pointless question. I mean, there are more important things we should be discussing. Like my impending promotion.

  “I’m good,” I say, not wanting to sound as impatient as I feel. “The hotel is doing well, even without your invaluable guidance.”

  “What about personally?” he asks. “New boyfriend? Anything like that?”

  His line of questioning takes me by surprise. Sure, Mitchell is a caring boss, always ensuring the well-being of his employees. But the boyfriend thing? That is completely out of left field and leaves me hoping that there isn’t some indecent proposal coming.

  “Nope, just work,” I say nervously.

  “Good, good. That’s good. That should make this a little easier then.”

  Easier? What does me not having a boyfriend make easier? I brace myself, preparing my rejection so it comes out just right – not to tough, but also not leaving anything to chance. “What’s going on Mitchell?”

  He inhales deeply and blows it out. “I’m giving Ross the General Manager spot.” There is a ringing in my ears as my jaw falls open from the shock. I can’t possibly have heard him right. As I stare at him slack jawed and filled with rage, he holds up his hands in defense of the protests he knows I am about to make. “Before you skin me, there’s more.”

  There damn well better be more because Ross Johnson getting a promotion over me is bullshit. I’m the one that Mitchell always comes running to. I’m the one that he relies on. I’m the one that answers the middle of the night calls and makes all the sacrifices. Not Freddie and certainly not Ross. Me. After everything I’ve done, he’s just handing the place over to Ross?

  Folding my arms across my chest, I sit back in my chair and wait for this more that he mentioned. It better good too because if it’s not, I have no problem walking out of this restaurant and out of the Palm Tree for good.

  “Do you remember the hotel I mentioned; the one that’s under construction?”

  I remember alright. The Onyx is going to be a state of the art, ultra-modern, extremely chic hotel. It sounded like heaven, until he mentioned where it was located - Dayton, Arizona. Why is he bringing that up again? From what he had told me, his sister Penny is going to be the general manager of the hotel.

  I nod my head, encouraging him to continue. In the least, I must admit, he has my curiosity piqued.

  “We’re about six weeks out from opening and there is still a ton to do. The hotel needs you; I need you.”

  I stare at him, stunned and trying to process the words he just said. Is he really offering me the opportunity of a lifetime in the one place I swore I would never return to?

  “I – I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes.”

  “What about Penny?”

  “Penny flaked as usual,” Mitchell says. His frustration with his sister has always been evident. She’s more of a party girl than a hold down a job kind of girl. As much as Mitchell likes to have fun, he is considerably more dedicated to his work than he is anything else. “Even if she hadn’t though, I would still need you. This place – it screams Mia. It needs you; it needs your touch.”

  “I don’t know. I like it here. Miami is my
home,” I lie. Dayton is my home. Or, at least, it was as close to one as I ever got. But the very thing that made it feel like home also happens to be the exact reason why I can’t go back.

  Okay, maybe can’t is a bit strong of a word. It’s not as though I’m banned from the city, though, thinking back, I probably should be for some of the stunts I pulled. Point being, I can go back. The question is, do I want to?

  “I’m heading there the day after tomorrow, come with me. At least see it for yourself before you say no,” he suggests.

  It’s not the hotel that’s the problem; I already know I’ll love it. It’s the location and the memories it brings back for me. Not to mention the person that most certainly still lives there that I would prefer to avoid.

  Mitchell’s hand reaches across the table and covers mine. “Please Mia. I’ll do anything.”

  Anything, huh?

  I smile deviously at him as I lean in close. “If I go and I still don’t want it…” I pause for dramatic effect. “Then I get to run the Palm Tree and you can ship Ross out to the Onyx.”

  My gaze holds his. It’s a bullshit deal, one that he certainly doesn’t have to accept. But the glint in his eyes tells me he will. The man loves a challenge, and I just presented him with the mother of them all.

  “You’ve got a deal,” he says, pulling his hand away. A small chuckle falls from his bearded face. “That was easier than I thought.”

  “Oh?”

  “I really figured you would put up more of a fight.” He waves his finger toward me. “You got me with the swap though – genius. That’s why I need you in Dayton. You’re the only one that can handle it – the only one I trust to.”

  There’s more to this than the Onyx being the company’s most prestigious hotel. It’s the first hotel that Mitchell has opened. It’s his baby. As much as I hate to admit it, he does need me. The idea of Ross running such an opulent place is a joke. The man can barely color coordinate.

  “Don’t count on me taking it,” I argue, relaxing in my chair and sipping the sweet red wine.

  Mitchell replies with a laugh. “Don’t count on being able to say no.”

  “You want to bet?”

  “Oh, you’re on.”

  His hand is extended to me. The confidence in his voice has me a feeling a little less certain about my plan here, but I shake his hand anyway. At the end of the day, it’s really a win-win for me. Either I get to run the Palm Tree or I get the Onyx. While my aching heart would prefer the former, something tells me the Onyx is going to be hard to resist.

  2

  Mia

  Nervous energy courses through me as I hear the sound of the wheels touching the ground. It’s been six years since I’ve set foot in Dayton, Arizona, and the significance of this place still resonates with me.

  For four years, Dayton was home. Or more accurately, Dayton University was home. My less than ideal childhood was spent travelling the world with my parents and the nanny they hired to look after me, so they were free to do as they pleased. They were, and always have been, a non-existent presence in my life. While the nanny was nice enough, we were never really remarkably close. Most of my time was spent playing make believe and pretending I was anywhere but where I actually was.

  Eventually, my presence became too much of a nuisance for my parents as I had outgrown a nanny but required some form of adult supervision. So rather than dealing with me on their own, they sent me to live with my grandmother. For the first time in my life, I had stability and someone who loved me. Unfortunately, my happiness was short lived. Two short years after moving in with her, my grandmother died essentially leaving me all alone in the world.

  With my grandmother gone and my parents God knows where, I enrolled myself in Dayton University. The University was large enough to feel big, but small enough to feel like home. That’s exactly what it became for me – my home, even if it was only a dorm room. Dayton University is also where I met Kassie, my best friend also known as the crazy woman that is currently barreling toward me at top speed.

  The sound of my name being shouted from her excessively loudmouth makes me laugh rather than send the usual shudder of embarrassment down my spine. It’s a true indication of just how much I missed her. Her arms are flailing, her smile takes up her whole face, and when she finally reaches me, she squeezes me so tight I think I might actually suffocate.

  “I am so happy to see you,” she squeals. “I can’t believe your back.”

  That makes two of us then.

  “Thank you so much for letting me stay with you tonight,” I say as I hug her back.

  Kassie is none the wiser about the real reason for my visit. She thinks I’m here to help Mitchell with some final touches on the Onyx, not to explore the idea of returning permanently to run the hotel. The last thing I need is the two of them ganging up on me. Mitchell is going to be bad enough with his extravagant gifts and wooing. I don’t need Kassie adding in the guilt factor.

  “Are you kidding? It has been forever since we had a girl’s night. I have cookie dough and a cheesecake and all the rom-coms your heart can’t handle.”

  It’s the best offer I’ve had in a while. “Sounds like heaven.”

  The men in Miami have grown tiresome – all fun, no substance. It’s hard to find a real relationship in the middle of a tourist attraction. Don’t get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed the fun in the sun flings with random hot guys on spring or fall break. I just want more. I always have, that’s part of the problem. That more that I am so desperately searching for is a huge part of the reason I left and why there is still such an intense ache in my heart.

  Looking out the passenger window of Kassie’s car, I take in the sights; so much the same, yet still so vastly different. Places that we used to go, kisses that I shared with Cooper. Dayton holds more memories than I care to recall.

  When we pull in front of Kassie’s building, I smile. Her real estate career has taken off and her success is written all over the high rise she’s living in. It’s a far cry from the tiny house she grew up in just outside of the city with its broken windows and crumbling foundation.

  “This is amazing,” I tell her as we step out of the car.

  “Lucky for me, I got it as a foreclosure. Business is good, but not quite this good,” she says with a laugh.

  “Oh, please. I’m so proud of you, Kass.” I wrap my arms around her and give her a hug. For a girl whose life hasn’t always been easy, Kassie sure as hell has come full circle and made the best out of a bad situation. I couldn’t be happier for her. And slightly jealous that my dream my just not come true because I’m too afraid to return to a place where the only person who has the ability to break me resides.

  “So, what’s it like to be back? As gut-wrenching as you thought it would be?” she teases me. Leave it to Kassie to go in for the kill within the first hour.

  Sitting on the couch, I curl my legs under me, my glass of wine in hand. “Not so far.” I take a sip of the sweet wine. “Honestly, it feels weird being back. Like, it’s not what I remember, but is all at the same time. I don’t know. Part of me felt weird coming here rather than heading back to the dorms.”

  “We could you know, hit up some parties on campus, relive the good old days?”

  “The good old days?” I laugh. “You make it sound like we’re ancient.”

  “It feels like it. This whole “adulting” thing? Ughhh. Gross.” She throws her head back in exasperation. Her fingers pull a chunk off the tube of cookie dough. “Paying bills, being punctual, it’s all so… boring.”

  “And yet, look where it’s gotten you,” I say referencing the apartment we are currently sitting in.

  “I know, I know.” You can take the girl out of the party, but you can’t take the party out of the girl.

  “I know that Mitchell is planning a night out tomorrow. You should come.”

  Her eyes widen, “Mitchell? He’s that hot as hell boss of yours, isn’t he?” I nod. “Oh, hell yeah I�
��ll be there – sans panties.”

  “Just remember that he’s my boss, so try to keep the destruction to a minimum, okay?” Not that Mitchell is much better than Kassie. Still, it seems like a logical warning to give considering the circumstances.

  “No destruction, strictly pleasure,” she says as she wiggles her eyebrows. “Speaking of destruction….” Nice segue Kass. “Have you considered contacting Cooper?”

  Since Mitchell invited me to check out the Onyx, I have considered a lot of things about Cooper. Contacting him has not been one of them. In fact, I’ve spent much of my time contemplating the exact opposite – how to avoid the man.

  “Absolutely not,” I tell her.

  “Maybe he’s changed. Maybe…”

  Sure, I considered that option. It’s been years. There is nothing to say that he hasn’t reevaluated his stance on relationships. Even if he has, what’s to say he still wants me? Or worse if he’s already with someone else.

  Besides, he already showed me exactly what I meant to him – nothing. While he might still own a little piece of my heart, I sure as hell have no intention of handing it over to him. It wasn’t just his rejection that hurt, it was the way he reacted and how he looked at me. The look on his face alone spoke volumes. I was nothing but a good time to him.

  Friends. That’s what he called us.

  Family. That’s how I thought of us.

  Between everything with my parents and losing my grandmother, when I found him, I found a home. At least, I thought I had.

  “I don’t want to think about him, much less talk about him,” I tell Kassie.

  “I know you still love him.”

  “Even if I do, it doesn’t matter. I will never give him another chance to hurt me the way he did before.”

  What he said to me left me feeling alone and broken. The same things my parents did to me. I refuse to forgive them, no way in hell am I about to forgive him.