Hard to Forgive (Hard to Love Book 3)

by L. M. Reid

  “Well worth it,” I tell her.

  “Well you two enjoy and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do with that.” Edith gives me a wink before heading out the door for the night.

  Cooper has been full of surprises lately and I have been dying to do something in return, Tto give him one back. And this little box is his slice of heaven. Our junior year we went to Miami for Spring Break. It’s when I first fell in love with the Palm Tree and why I decided to go back after graduation. Anyway, there was this tiny little ice cream shop nestled away off the beach. They had the best homemade ice cream, still do. I remember how much Cooper loved it and how he often mentioned wanting to go back for more. I’m not sure if he will remember it or not, but I do, and I thought it would be a great surprise.

  Relying on Freddie again, I asked her to pick me up some and ship it to me. Twenty-four hours later and here I am storing it in the freezer of the Scarlet Room. We’re supposed to be having dinner here tomorrow and I thought that I would supply the dessert.

  I step onto the rack needing to store it as far out of his sight as possible. My foot slips, my hand gripping the metal as everything comes tumbling down on me. I’m pinned to the floor, the heavy rack, and boxes all askew on top of me. My head hurts from whatever it is I struck it against before hitting the floor. Feeling around my hand finds my phone. Thank God. Without looking I unlock the phone and manage to dial Cooper.

  “Where are you?” he whines into the phone. “Dinner is getting cold and I’m starving.”

  “Help me.”

  The distinct sound of panic fills his voice. “Mia? What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Trapped.”

  My phone falls from my hand and everything goes black.

  27

  Cooper

  “Mia,” I shout into the phone repeatedly.

  Her voice was so quiet, weak, as though she were struggling to speak. Maybe even breathe?

  I spring to my feet and fly out the door. I don’t even know where the hell she is or where I’m going. As I pull out of my parking space, I head to the Onyx. She has to be there. Fuck. I’m twenty minutes away and I don’t even know if she has that kind of time.

  Without knowing her location for sure, I don’t have many options. I pull up Wyatt’s number knowing he’s closer to the Onyx than I am.

  “This is Wyatt,” he says into the phone.

  “Mia’s in trouble,” I tell him. “She said she’s trapped. She has to be at the Onyx, but I’m not sure.”

  “Fuck,” he curses reiterating my own thoughts. “I’m on my way.”

  The phone disconnects and I continue my drive to the hotel. Every worst-case scenario is running through my mind. Front and center is the debilitating fear that we’re too late. I grip the steering wheel harder, my knuckles turning white as panic at the idea of losing her washes over me. The blaring sound of a car horn brings me out of my dark thoughts, the one where I’ve already resolved to the fact that I’ve lost her and do whatever I can to focus on driving.

  When I arrive at the Onyx, red and blue emergency lights fill the street. Wyatt found her, she’s here. She’s going to be okay. She has to be. I mean, I just got my shit together, I can’t lose her now.

  When I rush into the already swarmed building Wyatt is standing in the middle of the room, Mitchell at his side.

  “They’ve got her,” Wyatt says.

  Charging toward them at top speed, I grab Wyatt by his shirt and slam him against the wall. “What the fuck did you do?” I shout at him. “How could you let this happen?”

  Mitchell’s hands are on me, his voice pleading with me to stop. Wyatt hurt Mia; he deserves to pay. It’s all I can think about, all that my head can grasp at the moment.

  “I didn’t do anything.” Wyatt shoves back causing me to stumble. “You did.” We’re standing no more than a foot apart, glaring at each other. “She’s not trapped because the building fell. She’s trapped because your rack in freezer fell on her. It was overstocked.”

  My freezer? The words feel like a knife to the gut. I did this to her.

  Mitchell calls after me as I rush toward the restaurant. I don’t give a damn about him, or Wyatt. I need to see Mia; I need to know that she’s okay.

  When I walk into the restaurant, the police officer stops me from getting much further. As much as I want to fight him, I can’t risk him kicking me out of here. I need to be here; I need to see that she’s okay. If he would only move just a little. I can’t see her, but I can see the wreckage of the open freezer, the boxes of food thrown about, the large metal rack clearly what had her pinned. I take a step to the right to see around the officer and when I do, I get a clear view of Mia, on the floor, her body limp, her eyes closed.

  “Mia,” I call out my voice cracking as I say her name.

  They cover her in blankets trying to warm her blue tinted body. Christ, how long was she in there?

  I struggle to breathe as the realization hits that I did this to her. This is my fault. If she doesn’t make it….

  The Godforsaken thought keeps reentering my mind. I’m terrified of losing her. I may have lived without her, but to lose her, to really lose her – I can’t handle that.

  “Cooper.” I hear her voice softly speaking to me.

  The minute I hear her voice, nothing else matters. I push past the officer and drop to my knees at her side.

  “I’m right here,” I tell her, brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

  “What the hell were you doing in there?” I ask.

  “Surprise for you,” she says softly, a weak smile on her lips.

  The paramedics make me move to the side as they place her on the Stryker. “Are you going to ride with us?” one of them asks.

  Without thought, I nod.

  “Let’s roll then,” someone says.

  Every moment feels so surreal. The walk to the ambulance, the ride to the hospital. Mia lying there amidst it all. Her eyes closed immediately after she had spoken and they’re still not open. Not even as they roll her away from me and into the emergency room. I’m left standing there, shock and terror filling me. Unsure what to do, I enter the waiting room and give my name to the nurse before taking a seat.

  She’s going to be okay. I say the words on repeat for two hours as I sit in the waiting room. I feel sick, I physically hurt. The amount of pain I’m in is nothing compared to how she must be feeling. Yet, sitting here, I focus on my own, not hers. I think about how awful this is. How hard it is. How I never want to feel anything like this ever again.

  “Cooper Williams?” a voice calls out.

  I jump from my seat and head to the burly male nurse standing near the door. “That’s me.”

  “Ms. Beckett is asking for you.”

  I follow him back to the room where Mia is lying in bed, her eyes closed. I take the seat next to her bed as I cover her hand with my own. I need to feel her, to know that she’s real and okay.

  “Cooper,” she says softly.

  “I’m right here.”

  “My head hurts.”

  Looking at the bump on her head it’s no wonder why. “Just close your eyes and get some rest.”

  “Will you stay with me?”

  It’s a good question. One that I’ve been wondering since I left my apartment hours ago. This right here, it’s exactly why I avoided relationships. I can’t do this; I can’t handle it. Mia’s accident, the possibility of losing her, it made the idea that had always been in the back of my mind more real. Too real. Living without her, that is one thing. But, to lose her? No, I can’t do that. I won’t survive that. I don’t even want to try.

  No, I should have left things the way they were. Sex. It was simple. It was something that I could handle. It was something I could give her without the possibility of breaking her heart again.

  I sit by her bedside until she falls asleep. The moment that I hear her breathing soft and even, I stand to leave. With one last look, I say goodbye to the only woman that could destroy
me. My decision is made and the moment I step out of this hospital, there is no going back.

  28

  Mia

  My head is still aching from the accident the other day. Against doctors’ orders, I returned to work about thirty minutes after I was released from the hospital. There’s no time to rest when there is a hotel to open in two weeks. Still, the dizzy spells and the pain in my head says I probably should have listened a little better.

  There is a soft rapping on my door. I fill with hope that it’s Cooper. I haven’t seen him since he walked into my room at the hospital the other night. He said that he would stay, but when I woke, he was nowhere to be found. I tried to call, to text but no response. I keep passing the restaurant too, but no sight of him. I’m not sure what the hell happened, but I can only assume that he feels guilty because the accident happened in the restaurant. It’s an absurd rationale and not one that I agree with in any way, but guilt is the only thing that I can think of that would keep him away from me. We were in a good place; things were going so well. Now, I can’t even get him to talk to me.

  “Come in,” I say when I hear a soft knock on my door. I jump out of my seat anticipating Cooper’s arrival. When instead it’s Wyatt who walks in, bouquet of flowers in hand, my face falls. “Hey, Wyatt.”

  “Hoping for someone else?” he asks as he hands me the bouquet.

  “Yes, but definitely not disappointed with what I got,” I tell him. Taking the flowers from his hand I bring them to my nose. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

  “How are you feeling?” he asks. I note the concern in his eyes. It’s the same look everyone around here has been giving me for the past couple of days.

  “I’m fine,” I say nonchalantly though the ache in my head is laughing at me and calling me a liar at the moment.

  “Still no word from Cooper?” He raises his eyebrows at me.

  “So, how about those Tigers?” I ask, desperate to change the subject.

  “I’m sorry, Mia,” Wyatt says.

  “It’s fine, really. I’m sure he’s just busy, or-” I throw my hands up in the air. “Who am I kidding? He’s being as ass.”

  Wyatt stands before me with open arms and a sweet smile on his face. To hell with it. I could really use a hug right now - and Cooper doesn’t seem to give a damn - so why not? Stepping into his embrace I relax into Wyatt’s arms. The comfort he brings me is more than welcome.

  “What the hell is this?” Cooper’s voice fills the room, his tone filled with accusation.

  “Cooper,” I exclaim as I jump out of Wyatt’s arms. “You’re here.”

  “Surprised?”

  “Considering you haven’t returned any of my calls for the past two days… yeah.”

  “Why is it every time I’m gone for five minutes, I find you with another guy?”

  My eyes feel like they are going to bug out of my head at his allegation. Is he seriously accusing me of cheating on him with Wyatt?

  “It was a hug, Cooper, nothing more,” Wyatt tells him.

  “Don’t worry, I’m sure by the time I get to the end of the hall she’ll be ready to fuck you.”

  I plant myself in front of him and stare him down. “How dare you,” I utter as I raise my hand to slap him. I’m not a violent person, but fuck if that didn’t send me down a path that I have never been on before. He’s being unnecessarily cruel. He’s trying to hurt me. But why? What have I done to warrant this? A hug from Wyatt? Not likely? No, he came in looking for a fight.

  Before I can actually connect my hand with his well deserving cheek, he grabs my wrist and holds it. His eyes meet mine and the turmoil I see in them breaks my heart. He doesn’t want this he doesn’t want to hurt me. So why is he?

  “Let her go,” Wyatt demands.

  “She’s all yours,” Cooper replies as he loosens his grip on my wrist allowing it to drop.

  He’s crazy if he thinks I’m going to let him walk away from me without an explanation. And I don’t mean the bullshit one he’s giving. No, I want the real one.

  “Cooper, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” I ask as I follow him out of my office and down the hallway.

  “Nothing’s wrong, not anymore at least,” he says. His face is filled with contempt.

  “Where have you been? Why haven’t you answered my calls?”

  “What do you care? Looks like you were well taken care of.”

  Attempting a new approach, I tell him that the accident wasn’t his fault, that it was just that – an accident. His face softens for a moment before returning to steel.

  “Why the hell would I think it’s my fault? You were somewhere you shouldn’t have been,” he tells me.

  My aching head begins to throb more. “Damn it… Cooper….” The pain grows more intense and I grab for my head. “Talk to me.”

  “Mia, are you okay?” I hear Wyatt’s voice asking from behind me.

  His presence is only going to make this whole thing worse, not that I can imagine how.

  Cooper lets out a small laugh before scrubbing his hand over his face. “Don’t worry lover boy, I’m leaving. She’s all yours.”

  “So, that’s it? We’re just… done?” I shout. I close my eyes trying to force the pain in my head down, just enough to deal with this.

  I can feel Wyatt’s hands on my arms as he swoops in to ensure that I’m okay. As much as I shouldn’t, I need him. Because I’m not okay, the pain is too much, and it only worsens as Cooper continues to speak.

  “I only agreed to a relationship to get you to quit acting like such a bitch and just relax.”

  A sob escapes me at the same time I cry out in pain.

  “That’s enough,” Wyatt’s stern voice breaks through.

  I have no clue as to what the hell just happened or why he’s being so cruel. What I do know is that I have no fight left in me. My head pounding, my body weak, I rest against Wyatt. Through my barely open eyes I can see Cooper, watching. If he hadn’t just intentionally tried to hurt me, I might actually think that he was concerned. That’s not possible though. The man has no heart, he sure as hell isn’t going to care about my well-being. For a second time he’s told me that I don’t matter to him. For a second time he’s broken my heart. I’m not going to give him an opportunity to do it again.

  “Believe what you want Cooper,” I say weakly as Wyatt helps me back into my office.

  When the door closes, I sink onto the couch. The pain slowly subsides.

  “Let me take you to the hospital,” Wyatt offers.

  “No, I’m okay. I just need to rest.”

  With a bottle of water in hand, he joins me on the couch. “I’m not leaving until you’re better.”

  “I don’t want you, too.” I admit.

  29

  Mia

  Squeals of excitement escape both Freddie and I as she steps into the Onyx. I had offered to pick her up from the airport, but she insisted that she was fine on her own. Admittedly I was relieved because there is still so much to do and if I’m honest, my brain hasn’t been in the right place since everything went down with Cooper.

  My arms wrap around her in a tight hug. “I am so happy to see you.”

  Her presence is just the added distraction I need. Plus, having her at the grand opening will make the event much less dreadful. As will showing up on Wyatt’s arm. If Cooper is going to assume whatever he wants anyway, I might as well enjoy myself while sticking it to him at the same time.

  “This place is even better than you said,” she says as she glances around the lobby. “You did it, girl.”

  A sense of pride washes over me at her words. I really did. Six long, screwed up weeks and I still managed to accomplish all this. Grand opening is tomorrow, and I’ll be damned if it isn’t all going according to plan.

  “As promised,” I tell her extending a key card to her. “Though, until tomorrow services are going to be extremely limited.”

  Taking the card from my hand she tosses her head back and laughs. “
To hell with the services, is he available?”

  I glance in the direction she’s looking to see what’s piqued her very happily married interest. A groan escapes me when I see that it’s none other than Cooper. His arms are tensed as he carries a presumably heavy box. The slightest bit of sweat is beaded on his forehead.

  “That’s Cooper.”

  “That’s? Wow. Way to go, Mia.”

  “To answer your question yes, he’s available. Physically only, not emotionally. In fact, I’m starting to think he doesn’t even have any emotions.”

  “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” she says.

  “Don’t be,” I say. “I am better off.”

  Trying to escape the emotion that washes over me from the mere mention of his name, I plaster a fake smile on my face. “How about I show you around?”

  Freddie and I spend the remainder of the afternoon with me giving her a tour. Then I put the girl to work. She and I inspect each room for perfection. She’s the only one I trust to do it. And while I hate putting her to work when I intended for her to come here and do nothing but enjoy herself, I’m grateful for her help she’s giving me.

  So much, that when we are both finally satisfied with the status of the rooms, I decide she deserves a treat. Between working so hard and being such a great wife and mom, she deserves to cut loose a little. And frankly, after the past couple weeks, so do I.

  Bringing her to Lust definitely wasn’t in my best interest. But it’s exactly the kind of experience she deserves. Nothing but top shelf for my girl.

  When we arrive at the club, the VIP access that Griffin supplied got us in and to the bar quickly. First up, shots. We do a little toast, clink glasses, and down the shit out of that tequila. It’s not my typical drink, in fact the last time I drank it I made a damn fool of myself. But it’s what Freddie drinks so I go along with it.

  The liquor hits me a little harder than usual thanks to my empty stomach. Before long I have the two of them out on the dance floor and I’m grinding on anyone that I can grab onto. A strong pair of hands grabs me from behind and turns me around. I come face to face with Griffin who clearly looks displeased with me. The man I had been dancing with, he looks pissed at Griffin.