by Lori Wick
Megan had apologized sincerely to Helga for asking her to lie, and the faithful servant had been gone from Megan’s presence for only five minutes before Louisa came through her door. The moment the older woman saw her, she pulled Megan into a fierce embrace. Then Megan was forced to stand helplessly before Louisa and watch her cry.
Megan did put her arms back around Bracken’s aunt, but she was overcome with shame when she realized how little thought she had given her in the last days. In all her selfish running away, it never once occurred to her that she had scared Louisa sick. She confessed this to God as she released Louisa, and then apologized to the woman herself.
“I am so sorry, Aunt Louisa.”
“It’s all right, Megan,” she cried. “As long as you are safe.”
Megan hugged the older woman yet again, and Louisa tried to contain herself. Having arrived back late the night before, most of the castle had been quiet and Megan had gone directly to her room. She had not seen Louisa until daybreak, when she nearly burst into Megan’s room. The prodigal bride-to-be was up, already reading the Psalms, and so glad to see Louisa that she almost cried herself.
“I am famished,” Megan admitted suddenly.
“As am I,” Louisa said. “Let us go below and break the fast. How are your mother and father?” she inquired as they started down the stairs.
“I don’t know,” Megan told her. “I didn’t see them.”
“Megan,” Louisa said in a surprised voice, “why ever not?”
“I did not go home. I went to the abbey.”
They had gained the great room now, and Louisa abruptly stopped. “But surely they came to see you.”
“No,” Megan told her with a shake of the head.
Louisa could only stare at her. Megan had thought nothing of this up to now, but suddenly she felt ashamed. She wasn’t sure if the shame was for herself or for her parents, who didn’t appear to care for her.
Bracken had spotted the women’s descent and now approached. He studied Louisa’s face and then Megan’s flushed cheeks and frowned. He would have thought that Louisa would be thrilled to see his betrothed.
“Is there some problem?” Bracken asked.
“No, no,” Louisa spoke swiftly, glancing first at Bracken and then back at Megan. “I’m sorry I acted so, Megan.”
Megan smiled in understanding, but her heart was still troubled. Bracken, reading this, wanted to know more.
“Megan?”
She looked at him. “Aunt Louisa was just surprised that I didn’t see Father and Mother.”
“I thought they would at least come to the abbey, Bracken,” Louisa put in softly.
Bracken read and understood the compassion in his aunt’s eyes.
“I saw them,” he said.
“You did?” Megan had forgotten this.
“Yes. I did not know you had gone to the abbey until I’d talked with your father. He seemed to think it best to leave things in my hands, so we didn’t stop back at the castle on the way here.”
Megan nodded, now recalling the messenger who had come to the abbey.
“You did see my mother?” Megan, picturing Bracken at Stone Lake, asked, a sudden thought striking her.
“How was she?”
Bracken glanced at the floor and then at Megan. She saw instantly that he was amused, and for the first time she felt like laughing herself.
“I would say that she was not very happy to learn you had gone to the abbey.” Bracken’s voice was dry.
He put it so delicately, that for the first time, Megan smiled at Bracken. It quite nearly took his breath away.
“She didn’t wish to see me?” Megan asked with huge, innocent eyes that sparkled with impish glee. She knew well what her mother thought of her and oft times chose to laugh rather than cry.
Bracken’s smile went into full bloom as he offered his arm to Megan. He sent a speaking glance toward Louisa. The older woman took his cue, as well as his other arm, and the three went silently on to the tables to eat.
Eighteen
“’TIS TRULY THE ODDEST THING I’ve ever known,” Bracken admitted to Louisa. “Lord Vincent came as swiftly as he could when Megan first came here, but in truth it’s as if they don’t even care. He never even mentioned seeing Megan at the abbey. He seemed more intent on our touring his keep than anything else.”
Louisa looked troubled. It was the end of Megan’s first day back, and Bracken had finally sought out his aunt in her chambers.
“And you say that Lady Annora was only angry, not concerned?”
Bracken’s look turned fierce. “She was livid, and then when that creature, Marigold, appeared, her manner was so sweet I felt ill.”
“It’s taken some time, Bracken, but I finally realized I’ve met Marigold. We, too, were at court at the same time, and I hate to say it, but a more avaricious woman I’ve yet to encounter.”
“She’s certainly self-seeking,” Bracken put in. “We never even exchanged words, but I could see from across the room that she thinks of little beyond herself.”
“And do Megan and Marigold get on?”
Bracken was suddenly struck by a vivid memory It was right after Megan arrived. They’d been talking by the hearth, and Marigold’s name had been mentioned. Bracken recalled being amused by what he thought to be sibling rivalry
“I think not,” he said now. “We have never actually spoken of it, but I sense that Megan and Marigold have much the same relationship as Megan and her mother.”
“And what is that exactly?”
Bracken’s face was covered with pain. “Nothing but animosity. Annora does not seem able to stand the thought of Megan, let alone the sight of her. I tell you, Aunt Lou, when I think of my own relationship with my mother, I can hardly reckon with what I see in Megan’s family.”
Louisa nodded in full understanding.
“You love her, don’t you, Bracken?”
“I do, Louisa,” he admitted softly. “I will admit that at first it was strictly carnal. I was captivated with her hair and face, but now I’ve seen things in her that have nothing to do with her looks.
“She fights me, but I so admire her mettle. She is unendingly kind to the servants, but she brooks no lying from those who would seek to cheat me.”
Louisa suddenly chuckled. “She certainly doesn’t like Barton.”
“Indeed.” Bracken now chuckled as well. “I wonder when the next battle will be fought.”
“Could she be right, Bracken?”
Something in Louisa’s tone made Bracken take his eyes from the fire and look at her. In truth, what proof did he have that Barton would never steal from him? Barton had worked under his parents since before Bracken could remember, but neither his mother nor his father could read. Bracken could read some, but he never bothered to question the man’s doings. He was more interested in his training fields and the external functions of the keep.
“I think maybe it would be wise to listen to her,” Louisa suggested softly, and for the first time Bracken was open to the idea and not threatened by it.
“I quite agree with you. I’ll not seek the matter out, but if she comes again, I’ll do my best.”
Louisa felt very pleased. She had nothing against Barton, but never had she met a woman of Megan’s integrity. Louisa was very certain Megan would never have accused someone whom she did not believe with all her heart was in the wrong.
Bracken did not stay much longer. When he left, his thoughts were on Megan. Louisa too was thinking of Megan, but also of her sister, Joyce, and what she might think of Megan when they at last could meet.
“It’s time for us to go,” Stephen told Megan, Brice by his side.
“Go where?”
“Home,” Brice said, smiling at her look of surprise.
“But I thought—”
“That we lived here?”
Megan hesitated. “No, not that; it’s just that I’ve only been back a week, and I thought you would just be here indefinitely.�
�� Megan shrugged helplessly, and Stephen hugged her.
“Does Bracken know?”
“Yes, and Aunt Lou. We don’t leave today, but if the weather holds, by the end of the week.”
Megan’s hands came to her waist now, and she took on a look of teasing. “I was just coming to the point of being able to stand the sight of you, but if you’re going to be that way about it, then off with you!”
“You could come with us,” Stephen suggested, his voice teasing as well.
“Now why would I do that?”
“To meet Mother.” Brice told her simply, jesting also, but not sounding like it.
Megan’s face took on such an expression of interest that the two men exchanged a glance of panic.
“Now, Megan—” Stephen began, knowing what Bracken would say, but the little redhead was not listening.
“It’s not a poor idea at all, is it? I’m sure Bracken wouldn’t mind. I’m always underfoot as it is.”
“What is it Bracken wouldn’t mind?” the one being talked about wished to know as he came and stood before the group. His heart skipped a beat when he saw his brothers’ looks of guilt and Megan’s triumphant countenance.
“I’m thinking of seeing your mother.”
Bracken frowned. ‘Well, of course you’ll see her...when we are wed.”
“No, now. Stephen suggested it.”
Bracken’s eyes swung to that fellow, who was smiling painfully, before returning and pinning Megan to the ground. “You mean go to White Halls with Brice and Stephen now?”
“Yes.” Megan’s face was filled with delight, but Bracken was scowling.
“I don’t care for this idea,” Bracken said in a voice he thought would end the subject. He was wrong.
“Why ever not?” Megan wished to know, still congenial.
“Your father wanted you here so we could know each other better.”
As usual Bracken had resorted to this excuse, and Megan was sick of hearing it. With a tremendous scowl of her own, she replied, “Well, what else is there to know?” Megan was angry for the first time in many days. “You insist that you want this marriage and that I am to run your castle and keep, but only as long as I don’t interfere with your plans and wishes. You are in a good mood until I cross you, and then you’re frightening. I am to stay out from underfoot, and the only real place I have any say is in my own bedchamber.”
“That isn’t true,” Bracken told her firmly. Under attack, he had completely forgotten about his plan to listen to her.
“Of course it is. You won’t even discuss that thief who keeps your books, and now two of your falcons have died. The others will die also unless you allow me to do something with the falconry. The creamery needs work as well, and so does the byre.”
“I have men to see to that.” Bracken was angry now himself.
“But they are not following through, and you’re too busy with your men to notice,” Megan shot back. “If I’m to be nothing more than a figurehead, I might as well go on a journey with your brothers and meet the rest of your family.”
“I will hear no more on the subject, Megan,” Bracken now said in a voice that left no doubt as to his black mood; indeed, it was as dark as his looks. “You are staying here, and that is the end of it.”
Megan’s chin came into the air. She glared at Bracken for an instant and then turned and walked toward the castle. She was out of earshot when Brice said, “We’re sorry, Bracken. We were but jesting.”
Bracken grunted with irritation. “She’s obviously quite anxious to be away. One moment I think I know her, and the next I am a man lost.”
“What exactly do you mean?” Stephen asked.
“She has seemed so content,” Bracken burst out. “We have not had one harsh word since the journey.”
“But the more time she spends here, the more discontented she is with the way you run things,” Stephen spoke up.
“She told you this?” Bracken’s eyes swiftly turned to him.
“No, Bracken.” Stephen’s voice was matter-of-fact. “She didn’t have to. You are right, she has been doing better. But by her own admission she’s been looking around the castle, and she’s not happy with what she sees. She’s even less happy when she knows she can’t come to you.”
“Of course she can come to me,” Bracken argued.
“And hear what?” Stephen shot at him. “That she is to stay in her own place? Or that no matter what she suggests, you will make no changes?”
Bracken opened his mouth and shut it, so Stephen went on, this time very quietly, but with deep fervor.
“Aunt Lou is wonderful, Bracken, we all know that, but she is not true mistress here. She is more than happy to leave the account books to Barton and the running of the keep to you. We eat like kings when Aunt Lou is at work, and our bedding, as well as the rushes on the floor, are always fresh. But Megan clearly wants more.
“You’re going to have to ask yourself if you want to be married to an Aunt Louisa or to a Megan of Stone Lake. If it’s Megan, as I strongly expect it will be, you’re going to have to free her, Bracken.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, let her be who and what she is. You’re so afraid of losing her that you’re holding on too tight. Even her wish to ride with us was innocent. I can imagine her curiosity about Mother and the rest. She understands the workings of a castle— she’s already proven that—but if you don’t start trusting her, she’ll build a wall so high between you that you will never find a way to scale it.
“In the end she’ll be your wife, but only because she’s been forced. Let the dove go, Bracken, and I truly believe she will fly right back into your arms.”
Even Brice was staring at Stephen by the time he finished. The brothers teased Stephen often about his sweet way with women, but neither one of them had ever heard him quite so passionate.
“What say you, Brice? Do you think Stephen right?”
Brice shook his head slightly. “I do not know, Bracken, but even I can see that as things stand it’s not working. What harm is there in trying things Stephen’s way? You may find Megan more than willing to meet you in the middle.”
Bracken nodded and thanked his brothers, and when he turned away, both thought he might seek out Megan immediately. This was not the case. Bracken turned toward the creamery. From there he would go to the falconry and then to the byre. It rubbed him sorely to be doing so, but maybe it was time to make some changes.
The three brothers were very surprised to see Megan at the table for dinner that night, and even more surprised when she was cordial to all, including Bracken. Some of the light of the past week had gone out of her eyes, but it was clear to all that she was trying. Her effort wrung Bracken’s heart, but it wasn’t until the next day that they had any time together.
“Lady Megan,” Noleen, one of the maids, began when she found Megan bending over a loom. “Lord Bracken would like to speak with you.”
Megan straightened, glanced at her, and then looked back. “I think it should work now, Elva,” she said to the girl at the loom and then turned to Noleen once again.
“He’s in the war room, my lady.”
“Thank you, Noleen,” Megan replied, moving to the door. She was not dreading this confrontation, but neither was she pleased. She knew she’d been out of line the day before, but sometimes it was so hard to apologize. In truth, Megan was sorry only for her tone. She had been meaning to say everything else for weeks, and in many ways it was a relief to have it out. Megan could only wonder why he would wish to see her.
She gained the door of the war room at an easy pace, her composure serene. Inside, however, she was in a royal turmoil. Megan opened the door herself and found Bracken within. He had been sitting, but now rose and held a chair.
“Please be seated, Megan.”
Megan did as she was asked and sat uncomfortably for an instant while Bracken stayed behind her chair. Certain her hair must be a mess, she had to force her hands to st
ay in her lap. When it seemed that an eternity had passed, Bracken came around the chair.
“Your father has sent word to me,” he began as soon as he was seated opposite.
“Is he well?”
“Yes, but Henry has been in touch and wishes to know if we have chosen a date.”
Megan stared at him. “For the wedding?”
“Yes.”
Megan stood abruptly and walked to a window. She took a deep breath and fought down feelings of panic. She lived every day, certain that at any moment Bracken would tell her he had changed his mind about the wedding, but it never happened.
“Is there some problem, Megan?” She could tell from his voice that he had stayed in his seat. She was thankful for this.
“I don’t know. I guess I’ve not truly accepted the fact that you actually wish to wed me.”
“What is so difficult to believe?”
Megan turned her head to see him. “Is it really so hard to understand, Bracken?”
“No,” he admitted. “But even with our differences, I think we will suit.”
Megan stared at him in exasperation and then turned back to the window and muttered, more to herself than Bracken, “You should marry Marigold.”
“I do not wish to marry your sister.”
Megan didn’t even turn to him. “You might feel differently if you could see her.”
“On the contrary; I have seen her.”
Megan spun so swiftly Bracken thought she might have injured her neck. “You’ve met Marigold?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Well, many years ago at court, and then just last week at Stone Lake Castle.”
Megan stared at him.
“What is it, Megan? Did you think I would be struck dumb by her beauty and fall in a heap at her feet?”
At any other time Megan would have laughed at his words, as well as his dry tone, but not now, not about Marigold.
“I don’t know what I thought; it’s just that—” She stopped and shrugged, her eyes telling Bracken that she was beside herself with pain and confusion. She turned back to the window, and after a moment heard Bracken approach. He did not touch her or say a word, but Megan was very aware of his presence behind her. When she could stand it no longer, she spoke.