Love's Suicide

by Jennifer Foor

  The faster I glided my lips over his smooth shaft, the more noises escaped his lips.

  I wanted to please him; to be able to satisfy him like I’d never done before. He needed to know that I was willing to do anything, sexually and otherwise to make up for everything that I’d put him through.

  He was getting close, and it was apparent from the way his body was reacting to what I was doing. Brooks took a chunk of my hair in one of his hands and pulled me off of him. “Hold up, Kat. Let’s go upstairs.”

  I stood up and flipped us around, pressing Brooks against the wall. “I have a better idea.” I pulled him along by his hand until we were standing outside at the bottom of the ladder that led to the tree house. Brooks smacked my butt, letting me know it was okay to climb up. He followed behind me, one step at a time, until we climbed inside.

  Like I’d remembered, the tree house was the exact way we’d all left it.

  Brooks spun me around, taking little time to re-familiarize himself with our surroundings. His lips were on mine while his hands were quickly undressing me. With little fueling me except for desire, I unbuttoned his shorts and let them fall to the floor. His boxer briefs needed a few tugs before they fell to his ankles. I knew we weren’t, but I felt like a kid again, sneaking off for alone time with my heartthrob boyfriend.

  Brooks was far from being a kid. He’d changed into a handsome grown man that knew his way around my body, as if I’d been made for only him. At the same time, we sank down to the floor, sitting straddled together. His hands held my ass, pulling me right up into his lap. I could feel him, ready and in position to enter me. My breathing was heavy and I was getting carried away in the moment.

  It was hot, like the small room was on fire. Sweat poured down our bodies, making them glisten as the sunlight shone through the small windows. I licked Brooks’ neck, tasting salt on his skin. He lifted me again, teasing me with his erection and knowing that at any time he could have whatever he wanted.

  He pushed me back far enough to savor one of my breasts. His eyes were on mine as he sucked my nipple hard, sending thrills to every part of my body. I lifted myself wanting to feel the motions of what it would be like once he was inside of me. My body grinded against his and I could feel his fingernails digging into the skin on my ass cheeks. “Please, Brooks.”

  “Please, what? Tell me, Kat. I want to hear you say it.”

  “I want you so bad,” I cried out.

  He reached his fingers down and slid them inside me. I felt his thumb playing with my clitoris and bucked when the friction became evident. “I can’t get enough of this pussy. Tell me it’s mine. Say it, Kat.”

  It was so dirty, saying something like that out loud. I secretly wondered if he’d heard it on a porno flick and wanted to experience it himself. Imagining that got me hotter, picturing myself turning him on even more than he already was. I bit down on my lip and closed my eyes as the words started coming out of my mouth. “This pussy is yours, Brooks. I’m yours.”

  He rubbed harder, causing me to cry out again, this time because my whole entire body was going into a euphoric frenzy. Even after I’d started to gain composure, he rubbed it again, causing me to buck my body against his. “Oh yeah, that’s it.”

  Then he lifted me. When he sat me down, I could feel it sliding inside of me, filling me completely. I bit down on his shoulder while feeling him stretching me. I pushed off of him and rocked myself up and down, watching it gliding in and out. Brooks took hold of my ass, making the friction more apparent. Our lips met for a kiss that took my breath away.

  He slowed down his pace, finally coming to a stop. “Stand up and turn around.”

  I stood up, almost having to hold onto him after losing my footing. My knees were already weak, and he wasn’t close to being done. Brooks turned me around so that I was facing the window. He lifted my hands up above my head and placed them on the top of it. In a yard behind ours, a man was mowing the lawn. I watched him walking back and forth while Brooks started to massage my skin. He took his fingers and slid them between my legs, spreading me open. My legs separated and when I looked down, I could see him crouching to be able to exactly place himself where he needed to get.

  He entered me again, this time pressing my naked breasts against the tiny framed out plastic windows. They immediately started to fog where my hot, sweaty skin made contact. My nipples slid up and down with each one of his thrusts. I cried out again, getting off on knowing that at any second that neighbor could see everything I owned.

  Brooks reached around and held onto my nipple, pinching it. I put my forehead against the plastic and closed my eyes, feeling him going in and out. His body continued smacking against my ass with each thrust, creating a loud sound each time. I felt him biting on my shoulder and dragging his teeth over my skin. My nipples tingled and a hot fire ignited between my legs. My natural muscles tightened and he could feel it too. “That’s it, Kat. Smother me with that pussy.”

  I screamed, so loud that I knew if that mower wasn’t running, I would have had an audience. Brooks went into a spasm like bout of movement. He cried out and then held me still. I let my hand fall down to my sides while his lips left tiny kisses on the back of my neck. Our skin was soaked in sweat and it glistened on his chest when I turned around to face him. His dog tags were stuck against it sideways and I pulled them away, allowing them to hang loose.

  He found my lips and shoved his against them rather forcefully. Then he picked me up and just as quick as he turned me around, he was filling me again. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held onto his neck. We were going at it like wild animals, sweating off years of regret. Our sex was incredible and being with him made everything else that was bad in my life just disappear.

  Finally, when he could barely stand up straight, he let me down. His head fell into my neck and I ran my hand through his soaked hair. “God, I love you.”

  I closed my eyes as the words repeated in my mind. “I love you, too.”

  Chapter 45

  Our week home just kept getting better, at least until Friday, when we had to bury the hatchet with Branch and Melissa. Brooks was so happy between having me back, and falling in love with his daughter, that nothing could get him down. From what I could tell, he was practically dying to let Branch meet Brooklyn. For me, it was more in spite. After everything I’d learned about him trying to keep us apart, I wanted Branch to reap in the relationship that Brooks and I had found. No matter how long we’d been apart, he’d failed at what he’d set out to do.

  Then there was the fact that he’d known he couldn’t ever have children and had neglected to tell me. I wanted to grab his balls and pull them off of his body.

  Brooks noticed how anxious I was about ten minutes before they showed up. We’d been so busy, catching up, falling more in love, and being parents that Branch wasn’t a priority. My other big concern was seeing Melissa. I’d trusted her and wanted to know when she fell in love with Branch. I wasn’t jealous. I could have cared less who Branch ended up with, but I still felt betrayed. She’d hit on Brooks and even planned to sleep with him. Being that he and Branch were identical, I wondered how long she’d wanted him too.

  “Kat, how long are you going to sit there? That bathing suit isn’t going to put itself on, and if I have to stare at you in that towel for much longer, we’re going to have a bigger and much harder problem.” He pointed to his genitals as he walked over and kissed my head. “Look, I know you’re nervous. It’s one night and then they’ll be gone.”

  “Am I allowed to hurt him?”

  He laughed, while grabbing the top to my two-piece and started putting it on me. “For the sake of my parents, let’s try to be on our best behavior. When they go to leave tomorrow, you can run out and do whatever you want to both of them. I’ll cover you.”

  I gave him a serious, but amused look. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. In one week you’ve changed my whole life. How is this even possible?”

  He adjusted
the cups and put both hands on either of my shoulders. “You weren’t the only one who was miserable. If you’d seen the things that I’ve seen, you wouldn’t want to live in the past either. Kat, we have a daughter now. I’m trying not to lose my man-card here, but I want us to work. When we go home, we’re together. We’ll have a lot to deal with, but we’ll do it as a team. People aren’t going to understand. They’re not going to like that you’re kicking your husband out and moving me in, but that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I’m not letting either of you out of my sight. The moment he laid a hand on you was when I lost respect for him. My daughter will not go anywhere near him and he can thank himself for that.”

  Brooks was so serious, and I respected his decision. After all, he was her father. As much as I wanted to feel bad for Bobby, I knew he’d made his own choices and burned bridges. No judge in the world would give him visitation of a child that wasn’t his, especially now that he had a record.

  “It’s still hard to believe.”

  Brooks got on his knees and waited for me to step into my bottoms. “No, it’s not. Tell me this - when I came back the first time for the wedding, how long did it take you to realize that you were with the wrong brother?”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You know the answer.”

  “Humor me, woman.”

  “I supposed I knew it even before I saw you. I remember standing there watching for you to get out of a cab in your fatigues. My heart was racing and I couldn’t calm myself down. Then when I saw you for the first time, it was like the whole room disappeared except for me and you. Fighting those feelings was impossible for me. I knew I was making a mistake, but I couldn’t figure a way out of it.”

  Brooks stood back up and pulled me against him. “I was on the airplane with this old couple. They kept thanking me for risking my life for my country. About halfway through the old lady asked if I was married. I sat there with two strangers, who told them all about the girl I’d loved my whole life, and how she was marrying my twin brother.” He shook his head and laughed. “I was so messed up in my head that day. I’d thought about what I wanted to say to you a million times. It was shocking when that old woman, who’d been married for more than half her life, told me I had to stop the wedding. She said I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t tell you how I really felt. When I got out of the cab and saw you standing there, I knew I was going after you. Something inside of me snapped. There was no way I could let you go through with it without telling you everything. I didn’t do it to get you into my bed. That part happened on its own. Obviously, in making love to you that night, we made the most beautiful little girl. I could tell you that we’re together because of her, but it would be a lie. I wanted you back the minute I saw you on the army base, I just needed to be mad first. I felt so betrayed and hurt. For my whole life I’d thought Branch was keeping us apart. Then I found out you were married to someone else.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Can I be honest about something?”

  He nodded.

  “I could lie and tell you that I would have been faithful in my marriage, to be honorable. The thing is, the second I knew you were alive was when I knew for certain that I was fighting a losing battle with my heart. If you’d have come on to me in those first five seconds, with my husband standing right there, I don’t think I could have pushed you away. I felt like it was a miracle; like you’d come back from the dead to save me from myself.”

  Brooks and I both shared a moment of silence. We hadn’t meant for things to get deep, but there we were so caught up in each other. When the doorbell rang, we realized we’d been talking much longer than we anticipated.

  I pulled the cover-up over my head and held Brooks’ hand as we headed downstairs.

  B was coming at us, running full-force. Brooks picked her up and spun her around. My stomach was in knots knowing that I hadn’t laid eyes on Branch since I’d left him at the altar. I almost wanted to smile knowing that I’d paid him back and not even known it was happening.

  We sat down on the couch to wait for them to walk in the room. I could hear them being greeted by Walt and Danica. Brooks put his arm around me and leaned in for a kiss. I don’t know what made me do it, but I climbed on his lap and kissed him like we were back in the tree house. He had to push me off, and when he did, I was all smiles. I saw his lips forming his own half amused smile. “You’re being bad.”

  I couldn’t answer, because I saw them coming toward us.

  Branch was still wearing his sunglasses, while Melissa clung to his arm as if he was dragging her. Brooks stood up, leaving me shielded behind him on the couch. He stuck out his hand for Branch. I was afraid to look at how he reacted and I was petrified to look him in the eye. There was also a fear that Brooks would just walk up and punch him.

  Then B came running out from around the corner and everyone looked at her. She froze when she saw her father and then another man that looked just like him. That’s when I looked at Branch for the first time. He pulled off his glasses and stared at my beautiful daughter. “You’ve got to be kidding me?” He looked at his brother and then back to B.

  “Her name is Brooklyn, after her father.” Okay, in my defense, I felt like it was necessary to immediately shove the fact that I’d had a child with Brooks, in his face.

  Branch looked down and scratched his head. When he looked back at me, he held out his arms. “I think we’re here to make amends, Katy.”

  I didn’t move from beside Brooks. If he thought for one second I was going to hug him, he was dead wrong.

  Then I looked at Melissa, who’d said nothing. Just knowing that she’d spent the past two years trying to be the perfect future daughter-in-law made me want to laugh. She’d never be me, no matter how sweet she acted, or how much they visited. Brooks shrugged as his parents came into the room. B went running toward Danica. “Mom mom, yook.”

  She pointed to her father’s twin.

  Danica scooped her up. “B, this is your uncle. His name is Branch. Can you say Branch?”

  “Banch.”

  Branch laughed, and then he did something that I would have never expected. He held his arms out for her. “Hey, little cutie. Come here and say hi.”

  She peeked over Danica’s shoulder to look at Brooks. He smiled and motioned that it was okay. I watched her, being taken into Branch’s arms. He hugged her with more love and affection than I’d ever seen him have. Brooks put his arm around me and kissed me on the top of the head. His brother, who was still in awe over her, finally looked our way. “She’s beautiful.”

  I felt guilty, after he’d said that. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but Branch was different. He seemed so sincere. Melissa, started talking to B and I began to relax. Brooks was right about living in the past. We weren’t going to make progress if we didn’t move forward, so I walked over toward them and smiled. “It’s been a long time, Mel.”

  She hugged me and I slowly let my arms reach around her back. “I missed you so much, Katy.”

  I pulled away and tried to be as nice as I could be. “I missed you, too. Obviously a lot has happened.”

  Branch handed B back to Brooks. She still seemed confused.

  It was my turn to hug Branch. I was okay with it until he smiled and held his arms out, as if he expected it. I backed up until I felt Brooks’ body touching my back and then I reached out my hand. “It’s nice to see you, Branch.”

  “I don’t get a hug?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not ready for that yet.”

  He let out an air-filled laugh. “It’s okay. I guess we all need to warm up to each other.”

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  Brooks pinched me on my back. “Don’t mind her. She’s gotten bitter in her old age. I think it has something to do with motherhood.”

  “Am I the only one here that thinks this is completely insane?” I was losing my cool while Brooks cracked jokes.

  Branch laughed. “It’s o
nly weird if we make it that way, Katy. Look, we’ve all moved on now and clearly it’s for the best. Whatever you have against me needs to be worked out. We were a family before, and we’re even more of a family now. Look, Mel and I are getting married. You’ve got a kid that I don’t think any of us knew about. You’re obviously with my brother now. We wouldn’t have come today if we knew it was going to make you so mad. If it makes you happy, we can leave.”

  I looked around the room at the family that I’d just started to get back. As much as I wanted to resent him, I had to bite my tongue. These people were all I had left and I needed them now more than ever. I had to forget about being with Branch and start over, only remembering the times when we were growing up. The damage had already been done to everyone in the room. Out of all the times that I regretted what I’d done, I started realizing that closure was the only way to find forgiveness. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry for lying about my feelings. I’m sorry for hurting everyone in this room, especially Brooks. All of this could have been avoided if none of you ever loved me.” I felt so lost, so hurt that I knew I had to get out of there. With no regard for what anyone had to say to my confession, I went running upstairs.

  I heard them talking, deciding on whether Branch and Melissa should stay or go. I also heard them arguing about who was going to come calm me down. When I heard the bedroom door opening, I turned to see the last person I expected to be standing there.

  Chapter 46