Josh gently gripped her shoulder. “Can we talk for a second?”
“Later, I want to help Rayne.”
He and Elijah shared a look.
“We have everything under control,” Josh’s lieutenant said. “Rayne’s mom is helping inside. Relax. Enjoy. There’s tons of food. Make yourself at home.” Then Elijah headed back toward the house.
She stilled her turbulent pulse and finally turned her gaze up to Josh. With a creased brow, he looked conflicted.
If she could wipe the slate clean and forget what they once had like he could, it would be better for both of them. Unfortunately, he was more handsome and confident now than he’d been as a teenager, and that was difficult to ignore.
“Not sure whether to ask if I received any new notes or why I didn’t answer your text?”
Josh’s sculpted jaw sharpened. “Both, but we’re about to be interrupted.”
“Huh?” She swung around and the new arrivals stood front and center. Up close, Kayla’s features reminded her of a beautiful porcelain doll. Behind her, the admiral towered over his wife. Close up, Admiral Austen exuded an unprecedented male magnetism.
“Dixie, I’d like you to meet Admiral Thane Austen and his wife Kayla.”
She shook the admiral’s firm grip. “Nice to meet you, Admiral, and congratulations on moving home. CDR Hunter tells me you lived in Hawaii for a while.”
The admiral shot a look at Josh. “Thank you, Miss Hammond. Yes, we did. But we’re looking forward to moving back. Right, sweetheart?”
Dix got the distinct feeling she was being assessed by Kayla when she turned her attention to the woman. First impressions said a lot about a person. There was something stoic and reserved about the admiral’s wife.
Kayla shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Dixie. Yes, we’re happy to be home with our friends.”
“I own a new coffeehouse on Orange Avenue called the Erotic Bean, a place where you can enjoy coffee and books. You’re both very welcome.”
Kayla’s deep brown eyes, nearly black, held a void while her mouth tipped up at the edges.
“I will definitely drop by. Rayne and I have been talking. She told me all about you.” Kayla paused. “I’m afraid nothing really stays a secret with this naval family. Thane explained your situation. I’m sorry you’re going through such stressful times. Believe me, I understand.”
The admiral’s large hand came to rest on his wife’s shoulder as if to say, “I love you. I’ll always protect you.”
Dixie’s heart swelled with bittersweet understanding. It was so easy to see and feel that the admiral and his wife’s strength came from one another. They were like one beating heart. Tinged with envy, Dix smiled over her regrets.
“Thank you, Kayla. It’s not like I’m a stranger to moving. If things don’t pan out, there’s always another city to start over in again. One day I’m sure it’ll end. With any luck, my admirer will be struck by lightning.”
The other guests slowly surrounded them.
“Hey, how about some introductions there, Commander?” the good-looking man standing beside Nina asked.
The blonde woman Josh had been speaking to earlier smiled brightly and a lean man with handsome features and sandy blond hair stood with his arm around her shoulders. Guess she wasn’t Josh’s girlfriend.
“Absolutely,” Josh replied. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Dixie Hammond. She’s the owner of the Erotic Bean on Orange Avenue. Her coffee is amazing. I’m not going to torment her by shouting out all your names. You’re just going to have to introduce yourselves.”
Dixie saw the admiral back away as the crowd of couples pressed closer. A woman appeared on the patio and Admiral Austin approached her. They hugged each other fiercely. He palmed the woman’s face and looked into her eyes. The lady was outstandingly beautiful with lush, dark hair and a model’s physique.
Kayla pulled back so the other guests could introduce themselves. There were just too many names for Dixie to remember them all.
In between saying hello to the other guests, Dix watched Kayla and the brunette greet each other and held each other’s hands while they spoke.
Dixie had never experienced a group of people who seemed so incredibly down-to-earth and honestly friendly. The SEALs and their wives all pleasant, offered her a warm hello.
“Little overwhelmed?” Josh asked. He hadn’t moved from her side while people shook her hand and welcomed her to the party, then politely backed away to mingle.
“Kind of.”
Several children ran around the yard, playing with each other. She had no clue who belonged to whom. A little girl, maybe seven years old with gorgeous, long brunette curls, ran to the admiral and he swept her up in his thick arms. The little one whispered in his ear and he chuckled.
“These are the men you lead?” she asked Josh, watching the crowd.
“Some of them. Others belong to different departments at NAB but used to be on Alpha Squad with the admiral.” He pointed to the right side of the yard. “That big blond guy is from Texas. Don’t be offended if he tries to pick you up.” He laughed. “His name is Tex and he’s one helluva good warrior. The man standing to his right we call Stitch. Caleb Stone used to be Alpha Squad’s corpsman. That means he has medical skills and patched us up on the fly. He left active duty and he’s in his first year of a med degree. Next to him, wearing the blue t-shirt, is Ed Saxton. We call him Cracker. He’s from Detroit.”
She nodded. “A close-knit family. You’re lucky.”
“I’m new here in comparison to these men. As for the other guys, I’ve worked with some of them during deployment, but I never served on the west coast teams.”
Dix sipped her wine while seeing first-hand Josh had carved a new life for himself. “Everything I’ve read online pretty much says the same thing. You’re all heroes. Brave and highly-trained men with a very dangerous job.”
“Don’t think anyone here would refer to themselves as a hero or brave. More likely well-trained and prepared to defend the country. SEAL Team One had many successful missions when the admiral and Cobbs were in charge. Back then, Austen held the position I do now, and Cobbs was the lieutenant of Alpha Squad. SEALs are broken into teams and within the teams are squads.” Holding a can of beer, he tipped his hand. “That woman over there. The tall brunette who just arrived...”
“I saw the admiral greet her.”
“That’s Patrick Cobbs’ widow. Her name is Margaret. Everyone calls her Marg.”
“Widow?”
He nodded. “Cobbs died in the line of duty, during a mission. He was Admiral Austen’s swim buddy and best friend. In their prime, those two could take on an entire rebel force of Al-Qaeda and win. They’re both legends in the SpecOp community.”
“Did Marg remarry?”
“No. They have three daughters. The first two are close in age and young women now. The youngest is Kelsey.” He pointed. “That’s her over there on the left side of the pool. The young boy beside her is the admiral and Kayla’s son, Adam.”
Yeah, she was overwhelmed, but as she gazed at the folks who filled Rayne’s backyard, she smiled. Even if she wasn’t part of their family, it was nice to be among people who were so close.
“Dix, I stayed away yesterday and today because—”
She raised her hand. “There’s no need for a because. Believe me.” He wore a comfortable white Polo shirt and Wranglers. Didn’t matter what he wore, his masculinity acted like a powerful aphrodisiac and she needed to get away. Even though he thought of her as some masochistic kink goddess, her heart refused to hate him. “I’m going to see if Rayne needs help.”
“Dix, please. Just let me say what I need to say, then you can ignore me.”
Clutching the stem of her wine glass, she shook her head. “We don’t need to talk any more, Josh. Enough has been said.”
Unwilling to back down, he stepped in front of her. “I was totally out of line the other night.”
“Sticks and st
ones.”
“Would you just stop and listen for a second. I didn’t consider how deeply this stalker has affected your life. When you talk about him, I don’t see or hear any fear. Frustration, yes. But I should know better. You wear a brave face. Just like you did dealing with your parents’ disapproval.” Josh gently gripped her upper arm. “I’m sorry you’ve had to handle this on your own for so long.”
“I’m still standing, aren’t I?” She shrugged. “So, is your girlfriend here? I might as well meet her.”
His brows tucked together. “What?”
“You spoke about a woman the other night. Where is she?”
“No, she…ah. She’s in Virginia.” Looking over her head, he said, “She was offered a new position and promotion to captain.”
Dixie maintained a mask of disinterest. “Yeah, you’re not big on long-distance relationships. This I know.” Josh’s features didn’t flicker. Struck with guilt, she was ashamed for the below-the-belt shot. She cleared her throat. “Who knows, maybe you can get a transfer back to Little Creek.”
“My life is here, Dix,” he said in a sober tone.
In one gulp, she emptied her glass. His might be, but her home address moved like the fans on a windmill in a storm. “Guess I should mingle.”
Josh gnawed on his right cheek. “Has he left a note in the last couple of days?”
She chuffed out a laugh. “Drop it, Josh. I don’t want to talk about him. I just want one night that I don’t have to look over my shoulder. I’m assuming in a backyard filled with highly trained warriors, he won’t venture too close.” She finally glanced upward to make eye contact.
“Dixie, you’re the last person I’d ever want to hurt.”
She snorted. “Don’t worry about it. I love pain, remember?”
He winced. “That was unfair of me to jump to conclusions.”
Josh hadn’t jumped—he’d vaulted over a ravine.
“Life’s unfair. I’ve made my peace with that.” Frustration and regret bubbled in her veins. She hadn’t really made peace with anything in her life. “For the first time in years, I feel like I have a purpose. The Erotic Bean forces me to get up every morning. And even though my stalker found me again, I see light at the end of the tunnel and that’s the Open sign above the coffeehouse’s front door.”
His expression softened with apology. “After I cooled down, I realized what I said sounded like I was judging you. That wasn’t my intent.”
“Yes, it was.” She shrugged. “I’m not going to sit in a dark corner, fretting that you see me as someone I’m not.”
Josh’s brow knit together. “That’s not how—”
Dix made a beeline for the liquor table, another glass of wine desperately required.
Chapter Eleven
Josh watched as Dixie strode toward the clutch of guests on the patio. With her head held high, she portrayed a woman with no troubles, but he knew different.
When he’d screwed up and mentioned his relationship with Gesem, Dix didn’t take it well. Then he’d really hurt her by accusing Dix of fucking her stalker at some point in the past.
For two days, he’d struggled with the bleak emptiness in his chest. Almost as bad as the day he’d left Utah.
Left her behind.
The other night, he’d literally lost his mind thinking Dixie had been involved with the psychopath who stalked her. Maybe it was only coincidence the guy’s note jived with her sexual preference—or what Josh had mistakenly thought she liked. He’d opened his mouth, not prepared for what came out.
When Josh had made love to Dix, it had never been violent. That’s not what he’d meant to say. The intensity they’d shared was because they loved each other.
He knew that.
When Josh mentioned Gesem, the color had drained from Dixie’s face. She’d crawled inside herself and hung a virtual sign that read, go away.
So, he did, but driving home he rationalized her response. Josh had lost his shit when he imagined her with another man. Why wouldn’t Dix be just as angry and hurt knowing he’d been with other women?
Most importantly was the deeper meaning. They wouldn’t care if what they once had was truly finished. Over the years, when he’d called the folks, Josh had always asked whether or not they’d heard what happened to her.
“Don’t think I’ve seen that expression on your face…well, ever,” Elijah said, stepping up to his right side.
He’d visited Elijah’s new place many times. Although Eli had shacked up with Rayne, Josh still dropped by for beers a couple times a week. They’d talk shop. Talk about sports. Sometimes they wouldn’t talk at all. Josh always tried to co-ordinate his visits while Rayne worked evening or night shifts. He didn’t want to interrupt the couple still in their honeymoon stage.
Elijah sighed and stepped in front of him. “Don’t keep it bottled up, man. You know what Frogs like us do when that happens. There’s usually a major reckoning that sets us straight but hurts like hell. So, spill your guts.”
He knew Elijah meant well, but… “There’s nothing to spill. I gotta catch this prick so Dixie can be free.”
“Define free,” he said. “Free to live without being hunted? I get that, but that’s not what you’re talking about.”
“Free to trust someone. Meet a guy. Fall in love. Have a family who loves her, because she never had that growing up.” He shrugged. “She needs to be able to turn off the lights at night without wondering if she’ll be breathing in the morning.”
Elijah seamed his lips and gazed at him with a questioning eye. “Yup. Everyone needs that. Especially the falling in love part.” He paused, “But, um… think she already is.”
He shook his head. “No. I burned what we had.”
“You hurt her and now you feel responsible.” Elijah knew the story between him and Dix.
“Yeah, I do. I literally left her to fend for herself against a pack of malicious, cold bastards. Instead of getting easier when she left home, it got far worse. A couple nights ago, I made another mistake. No going backwards with a woman like her.”
“Buddy, you can beat yourself up over the past, but we both know there’s no point in that. Or, you can put on your Frog suit and be a man. Take care of business whether she wants you there or not, providing that sorry sack of an expression on your face is any indication how bad your heart is bleeding out right about now.”
He blinked and painted a grimace onto his mouth. “You’ve never met a woman as strong and stubborn as Dixie.”
Elijah laughed and swung his arm toward the crowd of guests. “Have you met any of the SEAL wives?”
Of course, his buddy was mocking him. He knew all of them. “I hear ya.”
“No, you don’t. These women, each and every one of them, in their own way, are the Rock of Gibraltar. They’re made of silk and spice and handle men like us with an iron fist. Every one of us Frogs have a side of asshole, but the women who accept us don’t waver. Each one was hand-picked, and we love them as fiercely as we protect our country. Dixie was yours long before you stepped foot on the Grinder to prove your shit as a SEAL wannabe.”
“We parted ways. Became two very different people.”
Elijah chuckled. “Bullshit. Look at me and Rayne. I know you scratch your head every time you see us together.”
He cleared his throat and glanced at his best friend. “It’s that obvious?”
“Yeah, just a little. But you know what? Rayne is my soft landing. My primary and secondary chute. I know there’s a difference in our age. Her innocence and zeal contradict everything I am, but that’s why I love her. Why I’m going to marry her. And why I’m asking you to be my best man.”
Josh grinned and gripped his buddy’s shoulder. “I’d be honored, Eli. When’s the big day?”
“After our deployment. It’ll give her and her mother time to figure out the monkey suit I gotta wear and when I have to show up.”
“You’re such a fucking sap when you’re around her,” Josh
said, only halfway teasing.
“Maybe, but she lights my dark corners. Every day she reminds me to see the good in people. As Frogs, we know there’s a lot of bad shit out there.”
Rayne had definitely softened Elijah’s rough edges. She was his second chance after he’d lost his first wife to cancer. Once Eli had crawled out of his grief, he’d been gun-shy of commitment for years until the new tactical analyst from Base Command had caught his wandering eye.
“I’m guessing it’s not only her perky personality that keeps you away from other women.”
Elijah downed a healthy swig of beer and grinned. “Buddy, she rocks my world in ways I never expected. And I love it. Just my opinion, but why don’t you stop being a dick and tell Dixie the truth.”
“The truth?”
“Yeah, man, the truth. Want me to spell it out?”
Josh stretched his neck, then shook his head. “Not necessary. She told me to go to hell the last time I wanted to marry her. Not repeating that mistake again. Hearing her say ‘no’ for the second time would be like jumping on an IED.”
“Tadpole steps, my friend. When you wanna admit you still love that woman like no one else on the planet, then you can take the big leap.”
Rayne started waving to get Elijah’s attention.
“Your wife is calling,” he teased.
“It’s time to open the presents!” she shouted. “But first, an announcement.”
Captain Redding and Lydia took center stage. When Red announced his retirement, the group’s response was what he’d expected. Cheers. Hooyahs. Toasts.
It took another half hour before Rayne and Elijah got to unwrap their gifts. Dixie stood between Tinman’s wife, Lumin, and Marg Cobbs.
Josh couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked in her white summer dress, the lace snuggly following the curves of her body. Neither could he lie to himself and say he didn’t still have feelings for her that time hadn’t erased.
He had to make things right between him and Dix. And there was no better time than to start now.
Dixie Under Siege (A Warrior's Passion Book 2) Page 12