The Roguish Ways of a Hopeless Duke

by Lucinda Nelson

  Diana had told Miss Lilley about it in great detail many times. The breathless joy of debuting coupled with the appearance of a dashing suitor had made Diana’s nineteenth year a whirlwind. She had floated through the year in a haze of enchantment and excitement.

  The dream had not lasted. Diana’s suitor had been called away to duty, and Diana was left to await his return. Despite the years of silence and no word of the man’s return, she had not wavered yet.

  “I do not doubt the depths of your emotion,” Miss Lilley said patiently. She paused under the shade of a tree and allowed a couple to pass them. “Only your inexperience at the time.”

  “I am aware. But even when I have been introduced to other men at balls and parties, none have been quite like him,” Diana explained.

  Miss Lilley frowned. “You are comparing them to the ghost of a man you have harbored for years. Does that not seem unfair to you?”

  It was not a ghost, Diana wanted to explain. There were many exchanges she’d shared with her sweetheart, all proper and polite. She knew him, and she knew there was little hope of finding someone else who could rival him.

  “Perhaps,” Diana finally admitted. “But I do not think I will ever find someone who could replace him.”

  Miss Lilley sighed. She took Diana’s arm and drew them back toward the path. “I do not disagree. But all young love is bittersweet, and in most cases, it ends.”

  “I do not want it to end,” Diana confessed.

  “Of course, you do not.” Miss Lilley patted Diana’s arm. “No one ever wishes it would end. But you will not be able to continue this way, Diana. You will never truly live if you continue to wait for this man.”

  “I just wish he would send me a letter. Anything,” Diana said, her heart twisting hopelessly. “Even if it were to tell me he has found a new life.”

  Miss Lilley was quiet for a long moment. Diana feared what her friend would say, but she had heard enough vicious rumors to strengthen her resolve.

  It was only now, on the anniversary of her first meeting with her sweetheart, that Diana felt things more keenly. Each whisper against her absent lover seemed crueler than it did any other time of year.

  “Have you considered that he might not be capable of answering?” Miss Lilley finally asked. “I do not mean to upset you, but after so much time without word…”

  “I do not think of it.”

  I could not. Diana had thought, once, what she might feel if she were told that her love had been taken from her. That he had crossed a threshold over which she could not follow.

  It was difficult enough to suffer the questions about his swift departure and silence, but it was worse to torment herself with dark imaginings of what could have happened to him.

  “I am sorry,” Miss Lilley said quickly. “I should not have said anything.”

  “It is nothing I have not been told before,” Diana replied wearily. “I have thought as much, in my darker moments.”

  Miss Lilley nervously twirled her parasol. “Really, though,” she began hesitantly. “I do not wish to upset you further, but I am worried for you.”

  “Whatever for? I am content,” Diana declared. The words were bitter on her tongue. “I have all that I need to be secure in life. My parents love me, and I have you as a friend.”

  “Oh, Diana. You are not truly living,” Miss Lilley insisted. “I know you are a wonderful, lovely woman. You would be such a beautiful wife.”

  Diana often wondered what her life would have been like if she had married her sweetheart. If he had not been called away just as she imagined he was going to propose.

  Thoughts about an unlived life only served to cause Diana more pain. She knew she would forever compare her dreams to reality.

  “I have avoided marriage because I do not wish to cause undue pain,” Diana finally admitted, hushed. “I would not be an unworthy wife.”

  “How on earth could you be?” Miss Lilley cried.

  “I would always think of how each moment could have happened with another man,” Diana explained. “I could not honor my husband when my thoughts would constantly turn to a man who holds my heart and memories.”

  Miss Lilley sighed. “I cannot decide whether you are honorable or foolish, Diana.”

  “Then settle for honorable,” Diana said, laughing tiredly. “I have been called foolish enough by my mother.”

  Over the years, Diana had learned well just how foolish her fervent dedication to a lover long lost was. After two years of awaiting his return, she had discovered just how much she had hurt herself with the promise.

  Even despite her recognition of the truth, Diana could not bring herself to give up the man of her dreams. Too many sweet words had been exchanged between them, and her heart was too intertwined with his memory.

  “Perhaps we can find a way to remedy the situation,” Miss Lilley mused, patting Diana’s arm reassuringly. “You do not have to marry immediately, but perhaps there is a man quite like yours who will help sway your heart.”

  “I am not sure how well that would work,” Diana replied skeptically. “My mother tried well enough to introduce me to suitable young men, years ago.”

  “Well, she is your mother,” Miss Lilley said delicately. “I am your friend. I would hope I have a more well-rounded idea of what inquiries to make.”

  Diana laughed. Despite the somber note their walk had begun on, Miss Lilley had turned the morning around. As always, Diana was immensely grateful for Miss Lilley’s counsel. As serious as Miss Lilley was, she had enough cheer to turn things around.

  Perhaps Miss Lilley was right. Diana was reluctant to loosen her grip on the sweet memories of her youth, but time had taken a toll on her constitution. Even if she never found a man worthy of taking her lover’s place, at least she could try.

  “I will try to enter the arena with dignity,” Diana said. “It has been some time, and I am aware just how my charms have been worn away.”

  “Nonsense,” Miss Lilley replied calculatedly. “You do not look much older than myself and your countenance is just as bright as ever.”

  “Well, that is a relief.” Diana shook her head. “Though I think it is known well enough just what age I am. Plenty of sisters and mothers will warn their dear brothers and sons.”

  Miss Lilley waved a hand dismissively. “Then it is their loss. Besides, a man of your caliber will not be so concerned with such details.”

  “Then it seems your task is that much more difficult,” Diana said, raising an eyebrow at her friend. “Are you quite sure you wish to accept this challenge, Miss Lilley? I would not wish it upon anyone.”

  Miss Lilley laughed. The sound was bright like bells, and Diana had envied it at one time. The jealousy had faded quickly, as Miss Lilley was a devoted friend and an engaged woman.

  “You do not give yourself enough credit,” Miss Lilley said quietly. “I know you can move on with your life, Diana. You only need the courage to take the first step.”

  Diana was humbled by her friend’s confidence in her, but she was almost equally uncertain of its truth. Diana was assuredly stubborn, as her mother often complained, but she was reluctant to take a step away from her past.

  Accepting her lover’s absence and pursuing happiness was something Diana would have to work for. She could not waver based on dreamy wishes for a life long past.

  “I feel that I can face this task, with your support,” Diana finally said. “I do not think I have ever thanked you enough, Miss Lilley.”

  “I am certain you have,” Miss Lilley said kindly. “And a good friend requires no thanks. Although perhaps you will remember me, when you marry an astonishingly wealthy man who finds your maturity compelling.”

  Diana laughed. She doubted her prospects were good, but at least she could count on avoiding the rakes and uncouth young men who would have pursued her when she had first stepped into the ton.

  As Diana approached the entrance to the park with Miss Lilley, she caught sight of a carriage n
earby. It clearly held someone of importance, though Diana did not immediately recognize the crest. She paused at the gate to the park, curious.

  Miss Lilley followed Diana’s gaze. “Oh, my. I wonder who has come to grace the park with their presence?” She giggled quietly. “Perhaps it is a visiting prince here to sweep you away.”

  Diana was only half-listening. She watched a woman step out of the carriage, her proud countenance obscured in part by her carefully arranged hair. The man who stood on the sidewalk beside her retracted his hand to close the carriage door.

  As the man turned, Diana saw his face. Her heart thumped painfully, and her mouth opened in a wordless cry. She felt nineteen again, a wide-eyed young woman enraptured by a gallant young man.

  He had the same statuesque features and the same golden blonde hair, though there was a faint dusting of stubble along his jaw. The sun had freckled his cheeks, and he looked stronger than Diana remembered—but it was him. It was Arthur, the man she had fallen in love with.

  Chapter 3

  Despite his recent return, it seemed that Lady Hyatt had no intentions of allowing Arthur a moment’s rest. Arthur did not begrudge his mother her excitement, but he found it tiring to accompany her on simple errands given his recent travel.

  Thankfully, Lady Hyatt decided to begin Wednesday with a visit to one of her acquaintances. She insisted on Arthur’s presence, possibly as a means to introduce him to the man of the house.

  Lady Hyatt was thus suitably cheerful as she sat across from Arthur in the family’s carriage. “It’s been some time since you have seen the Edges,” she said. “I believe the last time was at a ball, just before you left.”

  “It was.” Arthur did not explain that he remembered because he had seen his sweetheart at the ball. His parents were not entirely aware of the courtship.

  Arthur had been nothing but proper with Diana, but they had been introduced through relatives. They had met so many times during the course of one year that Arthur had believed it divine intervention.

  His intention had been to marry Diana, but that had never come to pass. Arthur had left home, desperately wishing he could have married Diana first, and his passing thoughts had been occupied by her ever since.

  “I hope you will not be so silent during the visit,” Lady Hyatt said cheerfully. Her humorous remark was softened by the concern in her expression. “Are you quite all right?”

  “Yes, of course. I am sorry to worry you.” Arthur attempted a smile. “I was only thinking of the ball. It seems as if it was a lifetime ago.”

  “It practically was,” Lady Hyatt murmured. “You were not quite the man that you are now.”

  Time had changed much. Arthur wished he could find a way back to what he had left behind, but he had no clue where to start. He had Diana’s last name, but he was unsure how to make inquiries.

  Even worse, there was a lingering fear that Diana might have been married while Arthur was away. The thought gnawed at him as the carriage came to a halt, rocking softly.

  As Arthur looked out the window, he caught a glimpse of two women exiting the park. He imagined he recognized one of them, but at such a distance, he knew it was just his wishful mind. Arthur disembarked carefully and offered his hand to his mother.

  “I do hope it is all right that I have brought you along,” Lady Hyatt fretted. “It was such a sudden change that I worried it would be rude to request an invitation.”

  “I am sure it is not an issue,” Arthur said patiently. He shut the carriage door behind his mother, still thinking about how he could find Diana. “Besides, we are already here. If there are consequences, I will face them.”

  Lady Hyatt laughed. She took her son’s arm and followed him up the steps toward the house before them. “Are you certain? It has been some time since you have been among the civilized. I do hope your manners have not suffered from being away.”

  “They have not. You taught me well,” Arthur reassured her. He smiled and rang the bell at the front door. It was opened for him moments later, and he announced his mother.

  Arthur followed his mother as they were shown into the proper room, where a woman was already waiting. There was a younger woman with her also, her hands folded politely in her lap.

  It only took a moment for Arthur to realize the situation. He nearly said something to his mother, but he held his tongue at the last moment. The situation was clearly meant to introduce him to the young lady, and Arthur was absolutely not interested in entertaining her.

  “There you are, my dear friend,” the woman in the room said, smiling as she rose from her seat. He belatedly recognized her as Mrs. Edge. “And this must be your son.”

  “Arthur Hyatt,” he introduced himself, offering the proper bow. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Charmed. I should not be surprised that you are a proper man,” Mrs. Edge replied, tugging at her gloves. She appeared ready to leave. “Your mother speaks highly of you.”

  “It is her good influence that contributed to my upbringing,” Arthur submitted.

  Mrs. Edge laughed politely. “Charming and respectful to your mother? Well, you will have no trouble returning to society.”

  Arthur politely inclined his head. He was acutely aware of Mrs. Edge’s apparent intention to leave, and the indication worried him. He was not interested in being left alone with Mrs. Edge’s daughter and his mother.

  “Well, shall we?” Lady Hyatt suggested. “The park looked lovely when we arrived.”

  “It always is, this time of morning,” Mrs. Edge replied.

  Arthur nearly spoke in protest. Miss Edge’s eyes had noticeably widened, but he detected a hint of excitement in her startled expression. Surely, they will not leave us alone?

  “Come now, Arthur,” Lady Hyatt said suddenly. “I believe you would do well to offer Miss Edge assistance with her parasol.”

  “Louisa.” Mrs. Edge’s tone was sharp when she addressed her daughter. The young woman stood carefully, her gaze flickering to Arthur for a moment. “Do pay attention. We are leaving now.”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  The last thing Arthur wanted was to walk in the park with a young woman he did not know, especially while his mother walked behind him to watch over the interaction. He would have preferred to stay at home.

  More than anything, Arthur wanted a moment alone to figure out how he was going to find Diana St. Clair. He glanced around the park gate as he approached it and wondered where the women he had seen before had gone. He wondered if the woman he had mistaken for Diana was perhaps a relative, and if he might find her and inquire after Diana.

  “The weather is certainly lovely.” Miss Edge spoke softly, and Arthur guiltily turned his attention to her.

  “It is,” Arthur agreed distractedly. He was unused to the expectation of making small talk, and he found himself lacking anything important to say. “I have not been here since I was a child.”

  Miss Edge did not seem to mind the triviality of the conversation. “What a pity. The park is lovely in the summer.”

  “It must be.” Arthur escorted Miss Edge toward the first path he saw, already wondering how long his mother expected to stay.

  There was little to interest Arthur in the park. He had traveled enough to know what the world looked like. Now that he was home, his only interest was finding the love he had left behind.

  Arthur had never particularly cared to rush marriage, but when he had met Miss St. Clair, he had immediately changed his mind. She had been keen, vibrant, and lovely. The flower he had secretly given her at a garden party had been the greatest symbol of his love.

  “I suppose you must be thrilled to return home,” Miss Edge ventured.

  “Very much so.” Arthur looked away for a moment, a passing figure catching his eye. Once he turned, he knew it was not Diana. The disappointment he felt was stinging.

  Miss Edge persisted. “My mother tells me we must have met, many years ago. A ball, I think she said it was.”

&nbs
p; “Yes, I believe so.” Suddenly, a thought came to mind. Arthur schooled his voice and carefully explained, “I seem to remember being introduced by a friend at some point to someone. A Miss St. Clair, I believe.”

  “Oh?” Miss Edge did not seem interested by the confession. “What an odd thing to remember.”

  “It was a unique name,” Arthur replied. “I do not suppose you happen to know her?”

  “I am afraid not.” Miss Edge did not seem particularly bothered by her lack of knowledge.

  Arthur had not hoped for much, but the disappointment was still tiring. He supposed it could not be so simple to find his way back to the woman he had loved so deeply.