by Dean, Ali
“It’s not about that, Dad; I don’t even know why I brought that up. Look, you’re not raising me anymore, your responsibility to me is over. And the truth is, my responsibility to you is over too.”
“Oh, you’re mad I don’t want more kids? Beck, I’m fifty-five, can you blame me? I’m too old for that kind of thing.”
That kind of thing? Is he for real?
“I’m not mad, Dad. I’m just saying, this isn’t worth it to me. I’m done with obligations, and you can be done with them too, all right? I have to go. Griffin is waiting for me.”
I end the call, too confused to feel anything else. My dad has said a lot of idiotic things over the years. He’s made it clear before that he had no interest in the nitty gritty parts of raising me. I don’t know why today, of all days, it hit me that it’s time to stop tolerating him. Maybe because he did actually hurt me, and Jordan, when he didn’t bother telling his wife or the wedding party not to post pictures of us. It’s a relatively minor thing in the grand scheme of all the wrongs he’s committed over the years. Maybe it wasn’t even within his control in the first place. But I’ve got enough drama coming my way from Shred Live and my elevated fame. The last thing I need is someone in my life who calls himself Dad but brings me nothing but negativity. With one call from him earlier in the car, I went from an incredible mood to a sour one. I didn’t even answer at first and he had that effect.
It’s time to focus on people and relationships that bring out the better parts of me, not the worst.
I’m about to turn around when I feel her hand on my back.
“Beck? You okay?”
I spin and slide my arms around her, needing her comfort. “Yeah, I will be. I’ll tell you about it later. Let’s check out the digs for Brazen, yeah?”
“Sure.”
Griff’s excitement is contagious. The store front expands to a storage area in the back. Griff wants to knock down the wall to make space for a little half pipe and a rail and a box. Upstairs there’s plenty of space for offices, at least based on the current numbers of employees. The rent is high, but with the momentum Brazen’s built, it’s not out of range.
I don’t know if it’s the energy from talking about the vision for Brazen’s future, or the excitement of a new park, and a private one at that, but Jordan is fire on a skateboard later that day. I haven’t seen her skate like this since… no, I’ve never seen her skate like this before.
“I thought you said you needed time before you were ready to compete?” Griff calls to her after she lands a 360.
She skates closer. “I do. I’m still not ready for inverts or steep ramps.”
Griff and I exchange looks. “Hotshot,” I say, using my new nickname for her. “You just dropped a steep ramp and landed a 360 off it.”
Jordan glances behind her at said ramp. “Oh shit, that is pretty steep, isn’t it?”
“Bikini Girl thought so,” Griff says.
“Please tell me she didn’t make it past the first couple of rounds?” Jordan asks.
“She didn’t,” Griff and I assure her in unison. He adds, “She still managed to hook up with half the male cast in her short stint though.”
“Bummer. I was hoping she wouldn’t be so predictable. Skating in a bikini doesn’t have to mean you have sex with tons of guys for attention, does it?”
“No, guess not. But I don’t want Summer and Naomi skating in bikinis, and not only because of the road rash potential.”
“So, Bikini Girl got road rash dropping that ramp?” Jordan guesses.
“You’ll just have to watch the episode,” I tell her.
“Let’s just say I don’t think Brazen’s going to be coming out with a bikini line anytime soon,” Griff says.
“That’s fine,” Jordan calls, already skating away to try a new feature. “I need more chest support anyway!”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jordan
We’re doing this. Watching Shred Live, together in my room. There are ten episodes, each about forty-five minutes long. One guy and one girl get eliminated each episode, and since I know Beck makes it to the end, my plan is to binge watch the entire thing. It will be more television viewing in one day then I typically watch in several months combined. I just want to get it over with, but Beck thinks I’ll need a break. Either way, we’re starting at 3 PM, so if we push through, we can still get to bed at a reasonable hour. It’s the day after one of my most epic sessions on a skateboard in months, maybe ever. I didn’t realize it at the time, I don’t think, but after sleeping on it, I recognize some sort of breakthrough happened yesterday. I’m hoping the rush from that will get me through whatever crap goes down on these episodes.
“You ready?”
“Ready.”
He hits play, and episode one begins.
Beck’s more nervous about this than I am, so I lean into him and pat his knee.
It isn’t nearly as painful as I expect it to be. Half the show is about who is hooking up with who, and the other half is about the skateboarding competition. There’s some overlap, playing off emotions in the competition based on the latest hook-up situation, but that’s the gist of it. It’s definitely not something I’d normally watch, even with the skateboarding scenes, but from an objective standpoint I guess I can see the addictive nature of all the drama. It’s just kind of sad there’s not more about skateboarding culture. As people get kicked out on each episode, the focus on each individual’s background and their feelings about skateboarding are explored a little deeper, which is a slight improvement.
Beck orders pizza at some point and it arrives as the fifth episode is ending. My eyes are starting to hurt after over three hours of watching the screen.
“What do you think?” Beck asks for the hundredth time.
I finally relent and address what he really wants to know. “So, you walked in on Bikini Girl and Tariq?”
He cringes. “Yeah.”
“I thought that scene the next day was funny, where she asked what you thought about seeing her getting banged.”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny.”
I try to imitate Bikini Girl’s seductive voice: “What’d you think about watching me get fucked, Beck?” Then I switch to Beck’s matter of fact tone. “All I can think about is whether you washed the counter afterward. I ordered Lysol wipes. They should arrive tomorrow. I’ll be wiping the counters down before I eat every time.”
Beck shakes his head. “It had to be the first week too. So, every time I ate for the next ten weeks I had that in the back of my mind.” He shudders.
“I didn’t really expect Sarah Kase to put herself out there as much as she did. She kind of embarrassed herself, and she’s got more to lose than most on the show.”
“I was surprised too. But those two times they showed were really it. I guess she thought I’d go for it, that we’d both be the finalists and everyone would eat it up.”
Sarah came onto him once that first night after he saw Bikini Girl and Tariq and was escaping back to his room. Then in the third episode she got a little tipsy and threw herself at him in the hot tub. She might have even gotten a partial kiss, but Beck maneuvered himself right on outta there.
“I guess if they’d cut you off right before you escaped the hot tub it could have looked like you really got it on, but Beck, anyone looking at your expression could tell you weren’t into it.”
“Really? Yeah, I guess. Well, their angle all along apparently was to make it seem like I was having an affair with Camila, so there was a reason they showed my expression with Sarah and then me moving her off of me.”
“That hot tub saw a lot of action. We definitely need to get that thing deep cleaned and sanitized if we’re ever gonna use it.”
“I didn’t go in there again after Sarah accosted me.”
“You said someone else straddled you?”
“That was Camila. I was sitting on the back deck watching Moses skate when she just came right up to me out of nowhere an
d sat on my lap and started stroking my head. It was weird as hell.”
“When do they show that one?”
“Next episode.”
“What did you do?”
“I stood up and she fell to the ground. And then I felt like a dick so I helped her up. But they don’t show that part.”
“Man Beck, you got put through the wringer. I’m sorry.” I feel really bad actually.
“Knowing you were talking to me and getting to text or call you regularly kind of saved me. That and skating at that park every day.”
“The park is pretty sick. The pool too. But we’re getting the pool sanitized before I ever go in there too.”
“We need to get that entire place sanitized,” Beck says.
“I still don’t get how Camila makes it to the finals. Lennon and Sarah are so much better than her. Actually all the girls left on the show now are better than her.”
“Griff’s convinced it was rigged after watching the season finale.”
He’s joking but anything is possible.
“You really want to watch five more episodes tonight?”
“No, I really don’t. I didn’t want to watch any. But I feel like if you could endure ten weeks of filming, I can do this. You really don’t have to watch the rest with me, Beck.”
“No, I’m watching it now through the lens of Griff’s theory. I mean, I don’t get how they could have rigged it. Like how would they even know ahead of time Camila would sneak in my room at night or any of that?”
“Who knows? It’s over now, right? You got the house, Brazen’s blowing up.” I pat his knee again. “You suffered for a good cause, Beck.”
My roommates find out we’re binge watching the series and one by one they join us on my bed over the next few hours. It’s kind of nice having them here, listening to them trash talk and laugh.
“Your face, Beck!” Ellie squeals as we watch the supposed love affair snippets. “I didn’t see that the first time!”
“Wait, wait,” Zora says between gasps of laugher. “Did you just roll your eyes?”
“Oh! I missed that. Pause it and go back!” Lucy says.
I guess I can understand how this footage would look to someone who didn’t know it was coming, but to me, it’s not half as bad as I thought it could be. Maybe it’s because I have the girls here cracking up next to me, or maybe it’s simply because I know Beck, and trust him.
“Oh! Did you watch Bikini Girl’s wipe-out?” Zora asks when the season finale ends. “What episode was that?” She starts clicking through my computer to find it.
“Oh man, I can’t watch anymore. I just watched ten episodes in a row, you guys.”
“But it was so satisfying! And the road rash. That was just nasty!”
“You’re kind of sick, Zora,” Lucy tells her.
“She’s got an evil streak,” Ellie confirms. “We know this.”
Beck’s phone rings with a call from Griff. It’s late and he knows we’re together so it must be important. “What’s up?” Beck answers.
I can’t hear what Griff says but Beck puts it on speaker a moment later. “Here she is.”
“Hey Griff,” I tell him.
“I have an idea.”
“Yeah?”
“You know Southskate Fest?”
It’s a rhetorical question because duh, of course I know it.
“I know it.”
“A spot just opened up in the women’s lineup. Edna Martin dropped out with a broken ankle.”
I can feel four sets of eyes on me, but I keep staring at the phone in Beck’s hand.
“Okay.”
“Do you want to take the spot?”
“Uh, isn’t that in two weeks?”
“Yeah, but it’s only a drive away. And school hasn’t even started yet.”
“When I said I wanted to compete again I meant like next year. You know, six months from now.” Okay, I’ve dreamed about competing sooner than that, but I knew it was unrealistic. “I’m not ready, Griff.”
“I saw you skate yesterday, Jordan. You’re ready.”
“But that was one day. One good day. Four months ago I couldn’t even get on my skateboard.”
“I didn’t say you have to win. It will just be a chance to get back in the game. You’ll have fun.”
“But it’s Southskate Fest, Griff. That’s one of the most competitive contests in the world. Can’t I start with something smaller, like the charity event I did at Riptide that first time? Except not at Riptide,” I add quickly.
“Beck will be there too. Competing,” Griff adds.
My eyes move to Beck and he nods. “So you’ll be there anyway, hopefully. You really want to watch from the sideline?”
“Are you sure you can even get me in?” I have to wonder.
“Probably. As of right now, they reached out to Brie and gave her twenty-four hours to decide. She asked if you might want to do it instead so I’m checking with you before I respond to the director. I’m sure they’ll let you in though.”
“That was nice of Brie.”
“She watched the Shred Live season finale. Thought you might want a chance to go head to head with Camila and Sarah.”
My heart kickstarts with this news, even if it shouldn’t surprise me they’ll be there. I want to protest, say I’m definitely not ready to go head to head with either of them yet, but no one in this room is going to let me get away with that.
Zora is already jumping up. “Yes! Camila will be there? Jordan, you have to go!”
Ellie pounds a fist into her palm. “We can go too since it’s not that far away, then beat her up afterward.”
Zora raises an eyebrow. “Who’s the one with the evil streak?”
Lucy taps her finger on her chin. “Beck, when does the Shred Live contract end for the relationship clause?
My head swings to Beck, but Griff answers before he can open his mouth. “The same Friday Southskate starts.”
Beck’s face breaks into a smile. “We can make out in front of everyone after we compete instead of making a statement.”
Zora cheers. “Yes! That will show Camila!”
“I just don’t want the added pressure of having to beat her. You guys are going to be all bummed if I don’t beat her and honestly unless Sarah Kase falls a lot I’m definitely not in a position to beat her.”
Ellie raises her hand. “By the way, how did Camila even make the finals on Shred Live? That’s bullshit.”
“It was rigged,” Griff says from the phone.
Lucy pats my arm. “No, Jordan, there’s no way we’d be disappointed. We just want to see you have fun out there. Besides, if you don’t beat her, you can stick it to her when you make out with Beck.”
I can feel the excitement from everyone, and there’s energy vibrating through me too, but not all of it is good. There’s anxiety too.
“What if I have a panic attack?”
“Then we’ll all be there for you,” Ellie says in a reassuring tone before adding, “And you can still make out with Beck in front of everyone.”
“You won’t have a panic attack,” Zora says with so much confidence I almost believe her.
“When do I have to decide by?” I ask Griff.
“Tomorrow. Brie’s supposed to get back to them by tomorrow afternoon.”
Beck rubs my back, and I look at him. “What do you think I should do?” He’s the only one who witnessed me unable to skate. He knows just how far I’ve come and how far I have to go.
“I want you to do it. For you. Not for me, or Griff, or even your friends. Sorry,” he adds, shooting them a little smile. “If it helps to motivate you, you can try to beat Camila, because I know you will anyway, but don’t do it just for that either. Do it because you want to compete and it’ll be fun.”
“Do it!” Ellie whisper-shouts.
Zora starts chanting, “Do it! Do it! Do it!” And everyone chimes in, even Griff.
Beck, however, whispers in my ear, “But you can
always come just to watch me and I’ll still grab your ass in front of everyone and stick my tongue down your throat. It’s up to you.”
“It’s street and park, right?” I confirm. Even though I already know Southskate has a contest for both styles, that doesn’t mean both spots are open. I’m better at park, but someday I want to try competing in street too.
“Yeah, you could probably just do one and Brie could do the other, but I think you should just do both,” Griff answers.
“I know I should sleep on it first,” I finally cut off my little fan club. “But I don’t want to overthink it. I’ll do it.” I rush out the words and a wave of excitement and anxiety hits me all at once.
“And tomorrow, I’ll open a social media account again.”
I figure why not go all in while I’m at it?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Beck
“Wait, you mean you didn’t skateboard, like at all, from the day you crashed until Beck came to visit you in April?” Summer asks Jordan as we pile into my van after an awesome morning session at Rampas.
“No, I wasn’t even cleared until three months after the crash.”
“Yeah, but you still could have skated, just not verts,” Naomi points out the obvious.
“I know, but I couldn’t even get on a skateboard to go down my parents’ driveway. I still don’t really know what was wrong with me.”
“Well, you aren’t skating now like you took any time off. If I saw you skating and didn’t know you, I’d be like, she’s definitely a pro,” Summer tells Jordan.
“Well she is a pro, or she will be officially in a couple of days,” I tell them.
“What?” Naomi nearly shrieks. “Are you repping Brazen again?”
Jordan twists in the passenger seat as I crank the AC.
“Yep. Griff’s getting the contract ready and I’m going to Southskate Fest.”
“No way,” Summer says. “Seriously? How did we not know any of this?”
“Because I decided this last night at like eleven. Past my bedtime, so maybe I wasn’t in the right state of mind. Could have been peer pressure. My roommates want me to do it so I can beat Camila.” I notice she doesn’t mention Sarah Kase. Jordan thinks the one time she beat her was a fluke, but I know better.