by Dean, Ali
“Oh, hell yeah,” Naomi shouts. “Wait, did you watch the show?”
“Binge watched the entire thing yesterday start to finish.”
“And you haven’t dumped my brother?”
“Not yet,” Jordan teases.
“We should celebrate,” I propose.
“Celebrate what? Me not dumping you after watching Shred Live?”
The girls snicker in the backseat.
“No, you joining Brazen again, competing again, and you watching the entire season of Shred Live and being able to laugh about all of it.”
“Oh, don’t forget rejoining social media! I want to do that today while I’m on a roll.”
I’m less excited about this particular mission of hers, but I understand it.
“We can party!” Naomi calls. “We have the day off from Stargaze. Wait, you must already know that because you’re driving toward Summerside.”
“Can we hit up the pool at your complex? Invite Griff and the guys over? Lucy and Ellie said they’re off early afternoon today and Zora has the whole day off.”
“Yeah, let’s do it!”
We swing by the grocery store on the way back, loading up on hot dogs, chips, drinks, and whatever random crap Naomi and Summer throw in the cart.
I know Griff is stressed and I should be helping him with everything going on, but he’s told me to take this time as a vacation. In a way, I’ve been more or less working around the clock since filming started in early January, but he knows I don’t see it like that. This is his way of thanking me for Brazen and letting me get quality time with Jordan.
Griff’s been working around the clock too, but he takes a break to join us this afternoon. Moses, Taylor and Brie come too. While they’re all working for Brazen in some capacity now, they won’t have regular hours until the offices open. It’s kind of like summer vacation for all of us, I guess. That’s definitely what it feels like on a hot July day at the pool, everyone in a celebratory mood. For Jordan, definitely, but also for me winning the house, and the Brazen crew moving in there with me soon. Griff signed the lease for the place in downtown Jay Beach this morning, so we’re toasting to that too.
“All right, I’m doing it,” Jordan declares from her lounge chair when I take the one beside her after getting out of the pool.
“Doing what?”
“I downloaded the Instagram app. I’m making a new account though, deleting the old one.”
I want this for her, the whole pro skateboarder dream. But my chest fills with tension thinking about the messages and comments she was subjected to before. My fame, Griff’s fame, it’s only gotten bigger since then.
But Jordan’s no fool. She knows what she’s going to face.
“Okay, I’ll follow you so you have at least one follower,” I tease.
She tells me her new profile name, and I open the app from my phone to follow her.
A few seconds later I hear her gasp.
“What is it?” I’m leaning over my chair to look at her screen. She’s got my profile up.
“Beck, you have over three million followers.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s three times as many as you had last time I was on here, seven months ago or so.”
“It’s just because of Shred Live.”
I watch her click on a few things and study her reaction. It’s the same thing I did last night throughout the Shred Live viewing. I kept expecting her to freak out, but I should have known better. It’s not so much that she doesn’t have a jealous streak, but I guess she knows me well enough to know I wasn’t into any of it. In some ways, she’s twenty years wiser and tougher than her eighteen years.
In other ways, she’s still this sensitive little girl. I love both parts of her and I don’t want her to change, even if her sensitive side can be painful for her. As I watch her continue to scroll, clicking on images and reading comments, I know that she’s come a long way since we first met. The cruel parts of fame still bother her, but instead of hiding from it, she’s facing it. She knows she’s strong enough, and I need to believe in her too. I’m scared the anxiety will hit at a bad time again, a panic attack will set in when she’s skating or driving or swimming or… no. She’s got this. She’s totally got this.
Her roommates hop out of the pool and soon Naomi, Summer, and everyone else are sitting around warming up in the sun.
“Okay, this is weird, why are you staring at your phone?” Zora asks Jordan. “You’re never on your phone.”
“I told you last night! I’m back on social media as of ten minutes ago. So far Beck’s my only follower.”
Everyone here, even Brie and Moses now, knows about the bullies online, the stalker. So when she announces this, they cheer and high five like she just landed a 540.
“I wanted to do it when everyone was here instead of alone in my room. Does that mean I’m not an introvert anymore? I always thought of myself as a loner and now I’m having an identity crisis.”
Naomi tells her, “No, you’re just growing up and realizing it’s no fun facing the hard stuff alone if you don’t have to.”
“Sixteen going on sixty over there,” Griff calls to Naomi from his spot. “Who wants a drink? And no, Summer and Naomi, you can’t have alcohol.”
This would actually be a safer environment than other options for learning about drinking. Griff and I weren’t bad kids but we’d definitely drunk alcohol a few times by their age. The girls don’t bother arguing and most of us go for the soft drinks anyway. It might be summer break, but we all know drinking in California sun starting in the afternoon is a recipe for a hangover.
“Hey guys!” a female voice calls out from the other side of the pool deck. We turn to see who it is. The high school friend, Sydney, wears a big-brimmed straw hat, and this coverup dress thing. Something about the outfit says fancy, even though it’s pool attire. Could be the hoop earrings, the big sunglasses, or the bag that matches the hat, I don’t know. It just seems a little out of place amongst our casual group with worn out flip-flops and faded towels.
It takes her a couple of minutes to cross over to us, which is sort of awkward, since she already greeted us and now we’re forced to watch her or ignore her.
“I heard we’re celebrating!” She pulls out a bottle of champagne from her purse and waves it around. “I’m Sydney by the way, for those of you I haven’t met.” She gives a little wave to Moses, Taylor, Brie and Griff.
“Hey Syd. Thought you had something at the country club today. Glad you could join us,” Lucy says.
“Well,” she drawls out. “I have something to celebrate too.” She beams at us, and I feel awkward again for some reason. Probably because I don’t know her and I feel like she’s about to share something personal. “I’m transferring to Summerside!”
Her smile holds firm for a couple seconds but when no one says anything right away, it starts to fade.
Finally Lucy gets up and hugs her. “That’s great, Syd! I didn’t even know you were thinking about it.”
Ellie gets up too and gives Zora a look that says, come on, get with the program. “Yeah, whoa, that came out of nowhere. I’m just really surprised. You applied already and didn’t even tell us?”
“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I got accepted before I said anything.”
Zora gets up too and squeezes her friend’s shoulder. “That’s cool, Syd. I thought you wanted out of California but I guess you missed it, huh?”
Sydney’s back to beaming. “Maybe I can room with you guys? I know it’s last minute, but since Beck won the house, Jordan could live there and I can take her room.”
My eyes move to Jordan. She starts to open her mouth but Zora responds. “Whoa whoa whoa, we aren’t kicking out Jordan. Beck’s house in Jay Beach is almost an hour away. That wouldn’t really work since she’s a full-time student and doesn’t have a car.”
“I mean, I’ll stay there sometimes,” Jordan explains. “But I’ll need somewhere near campus most of th
e time. Maybe I can get a schedule with classes all compressed into two or three days in the week so I’m not around as much?”
“No,” Lucy snaps, which seems to surprise everyone. “You aren’t getting pushed out of the condo, Jordan. I mean, if you told us you were ditching us to live with Beck I’d be pissed, so I’m not about to go make you do it.”
“I’d be pissed too,” Ellie chimes in. “I’d get over it, but I’d be like uh, come on, it won’t be the same without you. We’ve been looking forward to it and we missed you last semester. So, sorry, you’re stuck with us.”
“Okay, sorry,” Sydney huffs, sounding annoyed. “Jeez. It was just an idea. I thought you guys would want me to live with you. I could share a room or something. But whatever, I’ll just find my own place.”
When no one jumps to reassure her, Sydney gets a little choked up. “You know,” she says, looking off across the pool. “I’m not really in the mood to celebrate anymore.” She shoves the champagne bottle in her purse. “I guess I’ll go to the country club party after all. Maybe one of them will want to room with me.”
She turns to go, and I think she’s expecting someone to stop her, but no one does.
“Leave it to Sydney to kill the good vibes,” Zora says after she’s out of earshot.
“Okay, I haven’t said anything all summer but… ARGH!” Ellie throws up her hands. “She still drives me crazy. She didn’t really change in her year in New York.”
“I thought she was your best friend in high school?” Jordan asks.
“Yeah,” Lucy says on a long sigh. “She was, but it just kind of ended up that way when we were younger. We became a group, and it stuck.”
“I always figured she’d ditch us for cooler friends. She made it pretty clear we weren’t popular enough for her,” Zora says. “Her family is part of the Newdale Country Club and that crowd is more her scene. I mean, she’s not all bad and I feel like a bitch talking about her in front of everyone, but I just can’t believe she’s transferring here. I could tolerate her when I knew it was temporary, but now what the hell are we supposed to do?”
“Maybe the natural order of things will finally happen,” Ellie says.
“Natural order?” Jordan asks.
“She’ll make friends with people who are more, well, her people.”
“You know, let’s just forget about it for now,” Lucy proposes. “It wasn’t cool her coming in dumping that on us when today’s about Jordan, Beck, Brazen, stuff that has nothing to do with her.” Lucy nods, like she’s made a decision. “It wasn’t cool how she tried to push Jordan out. So, I won’t apologize. Let’s get back to celebrating!”
Jordan jumps on this. “Hey Brie, I never said thank you for asking Griff if I would want your spot at Southskate Fest. I have no idea why you would give that up for me, but it’s so nice of you.”
Brie waves her hand. “Girl, you forget I’ve been competing for years now.”
I know an invite to Southskate is a big deal for Brie though; she’s never gotten one before. I’m sure Jordan knows this too but she doesn’t point that out. “Well, it means a lot to me, thank you.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d take it. I’d heard a rumor you were done with contests, but Beck let me know you have that fire to come back. I figured the right opportunity might get you out there.”
“I almost didn’t but I gave in to peer pressure.”
“I doubt that was it. You’ll have fun. I’ll be watching, cheering you on. I know you went through some shit and people were nasty to you when you first went pro. But when Beck’s ex Kelly tried to turn the pro community against me, I just kept showing up at the contests anyway. I did it for me, not for anyone else. And it really helped.”
Jordan glances over at me. “Huh, someone else told me to do it for me and no one else too. Good advice I guess.”
Brie laughs. “I thought it was Griff who told me that years ago when I was thinking of pulling out of some contests, but it was you, wasn’t it, Beck?”
I give an overdramatic sigh. “Well, in both these situations I’m the reason for the haters, so I’ve got to think of something useful to say to get you out doing what you love.”
Normally it would bum me out to think about the fact that both these awesome women got shit on because of me. But neither one of them holds it against me, so maybe it’s time I stop being so hard on myself. We can’t always help how others react to us. I definitely couldn’t do much to control how Shred Live portrayed me to the world. But these people here on the pool deck with me, their opinions of me matter. If they respect me, then I’ve got no reason to doubt myself.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jordan
With no job and no classes, I feel a little guilty about spending nearly all day every day skateboarding. I tell myself that technically skateboarding is my job since re-signing with Brazen, but it’s hard to think of it that way.
Beck will be officially starting as Vice President at Brazen after Southskate Fest, around the same time when I start classes. So, we’re in this weird dream life together for a couple of weeks. Maybe I should feel nervous we’re back in a bubble like that first semester of college, and eventually it will burst. But I’m beginning to see that’s just the way it is with Beck. Long distance was a bubble too, and things will keep on changing.
For now, we wake up each morning together, and usually hit the gym for a quick strength workout. We’re pretty spoiled with the living situation too. Not only does the condo complex have a gym and pool, but now Beck has moved into the Jay Beach house, we have a little private workout area and a pool there as well. After we eat breakfast, we go skateboard somewhere together for hours. Sometimes we’ll be alone and other times friends will join. When we break for lunch we usually try to hit up a pool or the beach to cool off in the summer afternoon heat. If we’ve got the energy, we skateboard some more later in the afternoon. Beck usually cooks me dinner and then we spend the rest of the night in bed.
“This has been the best two weeks of my life,” I tell Beck as we lie on the bed in the back of the van.
The sun is rising and we’re in the parking lot at Riptide. Even though we’ve got two pretty great places to stay at night, I wanted to get away without any roommates before heading to Southskate tomorrow. I still haven’t skated at Riptide since the crash, and if I’m going to do it, now’s my chance without anyone around.
“Yeah, me too.” Beck’s fingers stroke my back, and I can tell he’s not totally awake yet.
“I have an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“Instead of engaging the bare minimum on social media, I want to open up and tell a little bit of my story.”
Beck’s hand stops absently stroking my bare skin and moves to my hip. I’m lying on his chest, and in one strong pull, he slides me up his body until my face is inches from his.
“Are people giving you shit already on social media?” He’s awake now, that’s for sure.
“No, Beck. I promise, this time I’ll tell you, okay? Maybe not about every single message and comment, because once everyone knows we’re together I’m sure there will be a lot, but I’ll tell you if there are threats.”
“What prompted this idea then? It’s not like you.”
“Nothing really. It’s been nice having minimal action on social media these past two weeks since opening new accounts. But I know that won’t last. Not after Southskate. I guess I realized I’m not really giving people anything else to talk about or think of me if who I’m dating is the most interesting topic. Maybe I need to tell them a little bit more about who I am besides a skateboarder who is connected to Beckett Steele and Griffin Perry.”
Beck’s concerned expression softens as I speak, and now he gives me a smile. “I can help with that.”
“I actually already wrote up a little story. I thought I’d post half of it today and half of it tomorrow since it’s so long.”
“A story?”
“Yeah, just a condens
ed version about how I came to Summerside to skate the best parks, and ended up meeting you and Griff, your sisters, Taylor. I don’t get into the online bullying, I think that’s just giving the trolls attention and asking for more of it at this point.”
“So this little story, how much of it is about you and me?”
“None of it. That’s the point. I want people to see I’m more than your girlfriend. You’re part of the group that’s supported me all this time, but once they learn we’re together, I don’t want to be just Beckett Steele’s girlfriend.”
“No, you want to be someone else’s too?” he teases.
“I want to be me, Jordan Slattery.”
“I get why you don’t want to share about the stalker and threats, but are you only going to talk about the good stuff or will you talk about the recovery from the concussion too?”
“I want to talk about the recovery too. I think I even want to tell people about how I couldn’t skateboard at all for four months. I can’t be the only one who’s experienced this. And maybe if I share my story it will help others.”
“And then you’ll tell them not only are you skateboarding again, but you’re competing again too.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m inspired just hearing you tell me this and I already know your story,” Beck says quietly.
“Oh? What kind of inspiration are you talking about? Because I haven’t missed how your hand is sliding down underneath my underwear.”
I suck in a breath when he squeezes my ass cheek. “Sorry, I’m listening. And I love this idea. I want you to do it.” He pulls his hand up, resting it just above my panty line. But I can feel him hardening underneath my leg that’s resting over his middle.
“Beck?”
“Yeah?”
“You can touch me now if you want.”
“I feel like an asshole. We were having a conversation.”
Smiling at him, I reach behind me and move his hand back to where it was a second ago. “I think it’s cute that me taking control of my social media persona turns you on.”