I walked a few steps, willing myself to stay calm, not entirely sure if I’d make it.
“How strong exactly are you?” I asked into the bright white. Adam must have been somewhere behind me, but it was impossible to locate him, silent as he was. Not even the slightest sound was coming from where I expected him to still stand.
After half a minute of waiting I turned around to check if he was still there.
He was sitting on the cold snowy ground with crossed legs, his face lifted towards the pale winter sun, eyes closed, and answered the moment I faced him, as if he felt my questioning stare.
“I don’t know if I could lift a plane, but I can do about one and a half tons of weight—tried it with dad’s Jeep.”
My eyes popped out. “How?” I swallowed. “I mean—how do you happen to be able to lift cars? Is this an angel thing?”
“Guess so.” He opened his eyes to look at me and then froze in position for a second and vanished. Half a second later he popped up again right in front of me and I nearly fell over my own feet as I stepped backwards in shock.
“Stop doing that,” I hissed at him.
Adam smiled at me sheepishly. “Sorry—” his face turned serious instantly. “—but with the little time we have together, every second I spend walking towards you just seems like a waste of time when I could easily spend it next to you.”
He was right. We had this day to be together, but who knew what would happen the next day. So little stability in this weird conglomeration of happenings and we were caught up in the middle of it—at least I was. He was strong with all his new abilities.
I was sure it was hard for him to get used to all the new things he could do, and it seemed it had all begun with his wings appearing little more than a month ago. He had developed speed, control over his wings, supernatural strength and the ability to teleport since then. Was that all, or would there be more things over time? Was his development finished by now?
Adam looked at me with green glowing eyes and bent down to kiss me. I whirled out of his arms that were closing around me before he touched my lips, another question burning on my tongue.
”Why do your eyes do that thing?” I asked into his half open mouth before he could lock it on mine. “It looks a little alien—honestly.”
Adam pulled away again and looked at me with tight eyes—as if he hoped he could hide the glow behind his thick black lashes.
“Don’t know,” he reached up to his face with one hand. “The glowing seems to appear only when I feel the urge to spread my wings—when I feel strong emotions.
“That’s what triggered it—my wing-spreading—in the first place, the strong emotions I feel when I am with you.”
I blushed at the memory. I had more than anything wanted him in my bed at that moment.
Adam chuckled at me—surely he knew exactly what I was feeling right now. Even more, I wished for the frozen earth to tear apart beneath my feet and swallow me.
“No need to be embarrassed,” he breathed onto my face as he pulled me closer to kiss me once more, and this time he succeeded without difficulty.
As much as I thought the strange things about him would alienate me, I was surprised I didn’t care about any of them the way I had imagined. All I cared about was Adam. After the few hours we had spent together that day he had already become indispensable for me.
“It’s getting cold,” Adam made me return to the inevitable here and now. “You’re shivering.”
That’s from your kisses, I thought and tried to pull him back to my lips, but he was already untangling himself from my grip and folding his jacket around my body instead.
“Let’s go,” he took my hands and laughed once. “Maybe go is not the right word—” And a second later I felt the surroundings fade into nothing and my feet lost their stable standing, time fell past my perception and everything went blurry gray as I had the sensation of diving through icy liquid. I couldn’t tell how long it took us to reach our destination, but I instantly knew when my feet hit the hard ground again and I felt like I would stumble back, but something cold behind me caught my legs and stabilized my half-upright posture. And then there was Adam who held my hands and pulled me forwards so I wouldn’t fall into the thing behind me. I was a little dizzy and my head spun from the teleporting.
I looked over my shoulder and saw black painted metal—a Jeep. If that was the car he’d lifted …Amazing was all my head comprehended. Amazing—more than anything, I thought as I got into the car and waited for him to pop up right beside me without bothering to open the door on the driver’s side.
Good Guys and Bad Guys
The drive back to the Gallagers’ place was quiet, a harbinger, silently heralding the end of our short-lived bliss. We wound our way through the forest and down the road until I saw the first houses at the outskirts of Aurora. It wasn’t quite as snowy here. The fields around town were covered in frost and that made the landscape look growingly pale in the shadowy twilight. My heart sank with every mile we drove.
“What are you thinking?” Adam finally asked as he pulled into the garage. I didn’t answer.
What should I tell him? That I was scared as hell? That I didn’t know how to survive the night without him by my side. That I feared for his life more than I did for my own?
I didn’t have to say much—Adam knew how I felt anyway, and then he could easily put two and two together.
“I won’t leave you alone—don’t worry.” He reached out one hand and stroked my face gently. Without another word he turned away and opened the door on his side and waited for me to do the same.
We walked to the house in the growing darkness as quickly as my feet would allow. Antonio greeted us at the door with cheery barks. I bent down and stroked his chocolate fur.
“Nice to see you, too.”
“Good evening Miss Gabriel,” Geoffrey stepped into the hallway and held out his hand to take my jacket.
“Good evening, Geoffrey.” I felt awkward being attended to that way.
“Hey Geoffrey,” Adam greeted him and hung his jacket onto a brass hook on the wall behind the door. “We won’t stay long. Are my parents home?”
“I’m afraid not,” Geoffrey answered politely. “But Master Benedict asked me to tell you, Sir, that he joined them for dinner at the Masons’. They won’t be back before nine.”
“Thanks, Geoffrey.” Adam turned to me and took my hand. “Let’s go.” Fingers intertwined, we walked upstairs and to his room. Antonio was right behind us.
“Pack your things,” Adam instructed. Antonio trotted to a corner and curled up in a soft brown ball.
“Why?”
“Because I’m driving you home in a minute.”
I looked at him questioningly.
“You have to go to school tomorrow and I need to go to some classes. You’ll need fresh clothes and your stuff for school.”
“Okay.” I threw the few things I had with me back into my bag and flung it over my shoulder. “Does that mean you’re going to stay with me tonight?”
“Yes it does.” He pressed his lips into a thin line. “I don’t want to leave you alone. Someone has to keep an eye on things around you.”
“Jaden does—I guess.” I protested. Had Adam, too, turned into my protector?
“Jaden’s not enough.” His eyes pierced through my disgruntled expression. “He failed once—he could again.”
His words were like acid in my head. Jaden hadn’t failed. He had protected me well all my life—since I had been four, at least—and he had gotten me out of the horrible situation with the demons.
“Do you want to say Jaden’s not a good guardian angel?”
“I wouldn’t say not good—but obviously not good enough to keep you safe.” His voice grew urgent. “Didn’t he tell you what it was that hurt so much while he’d caused you to black out?”
I stared at him, motionless.
“The demons tried to peel my mark off your soul.” He looked to the f
loor for a second. “Usually there are only two outcomes if they do so. Either you die in their attempt or they succeed and tear a part of your soul from you. Having gone through this, nobody stays in their right state of mind afterwards.” His face darkened even more. I couldn’t tell which option scared me more.
“But what Jaden did—showing himself to you, interfering with the inevitable path of your destiny—he should never have done it. As a guardian angel he’s bound to never show himself to his fosterling. He was being reckless.”
“So you would have preferred me to die? Or go insane with the pain of a split soul?”
“No,” he tried to reassure me with a pacifying look. “No, that’s not what I’m saying, Claire.”
“Then what are you saying, Adam?” I stormed at him, hurt and disappointed by his words.
“On the contrary—I’m very grateful that he broke the code to protect you. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t. You could be dead by now and I would blame myself forever.”
He opened the closet and pulled out a fresh set of clothes, then headed for the bathroom. After a minute he returned with his bag of toiletries in his hands.
“Ready?” He asked through the open door. At my nod he rushed downstairs, me following him with Antonio at my heels.
Our conversation played in my head all the way to my place. So, Jaden had acted against what he was supposed to. I had no idea what consequences this might have for him. I hadn’t seen him since he had vanished in the forest. How could I be sure he was still on duty? And if he wasn’t—how could I know Adam would be strong enough to protect us both?
I shook my head and stared out into the darkness.
“Why so quiet?” Adam teased.
I inhaled and steadied my breath. “What if they strike again?”
“I’ll protect you.” His answer sounded more like a question.
“Yeah, but what if you can’t?”
“Then let’s hope they act in groups of less than four.” Adam sighed quietly. “Or let’s hope Jaden’s still somewhere out there.”
“Why wouldn’t he be?”
“He did something he shouldn’t have done, remember?—Repeatedly.”
I decided to fall back into silence again. Only a few minutes later the black Jeep stopped in front of my house and I untangled myself from the seatbelt. My bag over my shoulder, I made my way up the stairs to the front door.
Nigel was waiting on the porch with big expectant eyes. He curled around my legs while I unlocked the door. Adam was right behind me, his things in his arms.
“How’s Sophie?” Adam asked on our way to my room.
“Alright,” I told him. “She’s fascinated with life at the hospital—guess she should be, wanting to become a doctor.”
I heard him chuckle behind me. “Yeah, guess so too.”
I dropped my bag to the floor as soon as I entered my room. It looked like it had when I left it yesterday—untidy. A Midsummer Night’s Dream was still lying on the bedside table. Everything looked like it always had, totally unchanged, but in reality everything had changed.
Being in my room, in my house, didn’t feel safe anymore. Neither did it feel real that I would go to school tomorrow, see my friends and talk to them about ordinary things.
One good thing about it—Sophie was out of town. At least I wouldn’t have to fear for her when I wasn’t home. Did she have a guardian angel too? Would he—or she—keep her safe wherever she was? I honestly hoped so. I had already lost too much family.
“How are you?” Adam asked as I sat down on my bed. He sat down beside me and put one arm around me.
“Not really fine.”
“Understandable.”
“You?”
“Have been better—but I’m glad we’re here together. It’s what keeps us strong.” He smiled at me weakly.
It felt awkward somehow. There were tons of things to discuss, and we had gotten to some of the topics, but somehow nothing seemed to end in concrete conclusions. Everything was open, could go any direction, depending on how we reacted to what was lying ahead.
What exactly was it, what was lying ahead? He had no idea and neither did I. We would have to wait—always prepared for the worst, always ready to lose the other, always ready to die.
I got to my feet, trying to shake off the dark thoughts as I headed for the bathroom. “Back in a minute,” I mumbled as I wound out of his arm.
“Sure,” he stroked down my back as I straightened.
Picking the toothbrush out of my bag and grabbing my nightie from under my pillow, I hurried towards the safety of the bathroom. At least he wouldn’t see me worrying and feel my fear there. I wanted to show him that I was strong enough to be with him, that I wouldn’t fear anything while I was at his side, but I couldn’t. I was damn scared. All the lightheartedness of the afternoon was gone, as if the darkness of the night had swallowed it. I was cold and numb with memories of my blackened torture.
I brushed my teeth mechanically while I thought.
The golden glow in Jaden’s eyes crept through my mind like a cure to my memories of pain. Why had he done this? Why had he decided to show himself to me?
The day had been long and I was tired already—tired from the happenings of the last days as well as from the constant threat that seemed to hang over me like Damocles’ sword.
When I came back to my room Adam was in his pajamas and headed to the bathroom.
I quickly ran down to the kitchen, put some cat food and water out for Nigel and then back up to my room where I packed my bag for the following day. Afterwards I curled up in my bed and had nearly dozed off when Adam closed the door behind him, switched off the light and slipped under the blanket beside me.
I slept like the dead. The alarm clock didn’t bother me at all until Adam kissed me and shook my shoulders lightly.
“Time to get up, honey,” he whispered into my ear. I wanted to drown in his words and drift back to sleep, back to the cozy place where Adam was the only thing that mattered; but some edge was persistently dragging me towards reality which looked very different from the sweet dreams that had accompanied my sleep.
It took Adam some time to motivate me to get out of bed and get dressed. Breakfast wasn’t abundant either—I needed to restock the fridge again. So half an hour later I was sitting in the passenger seat of Adam’s car, still wondering why he wouldn’t let me drive myself but instead insisted on driving me to school and picking me up in the afternoon. I guessed he was just worried about me.
He couldn’t follow me everywhere I went—he had a life of his own and things he had to do, too. He couldn’t play the bodyguard around the clock—it was absurd.
And then there was that part of me that was ashamed, the part that didn’t want him to be there all the time. I had to face Gregory today, and I hadn’t told Adam what had happened between Gregory and me. I was sure he wouldn’t be too happy about it. I had to talk to Amber and tell her about the date too. Just I didn’t really know what to tell her—everything that had happened before this weekend suddenly seemed insignificant to me, not worth talking about, not worth worrying over. So much had happened, and I couldn’t tell any of my friends about it. Adam was the only one I could talk to, the only one I could confide in.
“If anything suspicious happens—”
“I’ll call you,” I finished his sentence.
“Immediately,” he insisted.
“Sure.”
He told me for what seemed a hundred times on the way to school that I should tell him if anything happened. I was determined to not bother him with every single thing, but I wanted to keep my promise if anything strange came up. On the other hand, I was also very positive that the demons wouldn’t try anything in a crowded place in bright daylight. From what I knew, they wanted to keep their secrecy as much as the angels did, so I didn’t see much danger for my school day.
He kissed me sweetly before I got out of the car.
“I love you,”
he called after me and I smiled back at him, mouthing love you, too.
I pulled up the collar of my jacket and hurried across the parking lot of the school, hoping to make it to class without crossing Gregory’s path.
My wish was half fulfilled. I was alone the entire way to the building and up the hall to the classroom, but Gregory joined me on the last few steps to the door. Luckily Mr. Jackson walked right behind us, ushering us into the room in time with the bell, so I didn’t have to talk to him. I sat down right beside Lydia, avoiding a conversation for now, and he sat down at a desk across the room.
Gregory’s expectant gaze was still lingering on me a few minutes later—I was trying to ignore it—and he kept staring until finally Mr. Jackson claimed all our attentions. He introduced the principle of genes and gene transcription to us. It took less than five minutes for my head to go into stand-by, my eyes staying open to keep up the pretenses.
I didn’t understand a word Mr. Jackson was saying while he was gesturing animatedly in front of the class. My mind wandered off to ponder more pressing matters. I had to come up with a story for my absence on the weekend. The official story would be that I’d had the flu on Saturday and Sunday.
I needed to talk to somebody, though—about the truth; but I couldn’t—not here.
I usually trusted Lydia with everything, but it was out of the question to drag her into this—she deserved to be safe and so did Amber, though I didn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut about what was really going on. I skipped Gregory on the list of trustworthy people—no more Adam-talks with him, not even if it was only about harmless boyfriend problems. He couldn’t take it and I couldn’t watch him suffer from my decision to be with Adam. I loved him too much—he was still my best friend. We were going through a rough spot; with him confusing his feelings of friendship for me with love.
As I stared at Mr. Jackson, I felt I was too absorbed in the supernatural that was going on all around me, but I couldn’t help it. I was bound to go along with it—bound by the interlacing of Adam’s and my soul. Whatever happened, I would go through it, and the rest of the world would go on turning without me. I could at least try step back for a while—just long enough to regain control over my life and my safety, to create some routine, to handle the balance between supernatural and real.
White (The Wings Trilogy Book 1) Page 27