When I looked at my classmates, how they paid attention with varying intensities to Mr. Jackson’s lecture, I could easily believe none of the weekend’s happenings had been real. I could easily convince myself that neither angels nor demons existed. My mind wrapped around that thought willingly, embracing the simplicity of this reality without bristling; but whenever it started to sink in too deeply, some part of myself—a tiny insubstantial part, but still strong enough to jab at my mind—fought it up. It was like it wanted to protect me from forgetting that reality as I wanted it to be, and reality as it was were two very different chapters of a book—like it wanted to tell me that the easy path was not always the right one; and deep down I knew, and had already chosen.
The bell tore me from my thoughts, and I realized it was time to pack my things and join the others streaming from the classroom. I didn’t want to stay behind and risk Gregory taking the chance to catch me alone. Invisibility was exactly what I needed—in both realities. At least one thing they had in common.
“Coming?” Lydia asked in her usual quiet way. She wouldn’t have gotten my attention if the bell hadn’t already distracted my thoughts.
“On my way.” I grabbed my books and walked from the room behind her, dodging Gregory by squeezing through the door quickly and hurrying through the crowd.
“Are we in a hurry?” Lydia asked, falling into step beside me.
“Not exactly—” I accelerated my speed as we headed to our lockers. I quickly opened my locker, stuffed in my biology book and pulled out my English things. I hadn’t done the homework or studied for the test in English literature that was about to come up in the next days. After I had all I needed, I threw the locker’s door shut, grabbed Lydia’s sleeve and pulled her away to a more quiet place in a hall away from the main route between the classrooms. Only a few students were passing through so we were free to talk.
“What the hell’s up with you?” Lydia hissed at me as I stopped near the door of a locked classroom. “You’re acting weird.”
“Greg is up,” I said in a low voice.
Lydia threw me a meaningful look. “Don’t say something happened on Friday,” she replied, pulling up one of her dark fine lined brows.
I didn’t know what to answer for a second, but then I decided that I wanted to at least fill her in about Gregory. If I couldn’t talk about the difficulties in my relationship with Adam, I wanted to give her as much truth as I could, and I could talk about Gregory without any problem—except for him not wanting anybody to know. Right now I didn’t care about what he wanted. I just wanted to postpone all uncomfortable conversations in order to save our friendship and I wanted to spare myself his disappointed looks and hurt face. I wanted some rest from the emotional rollercoaster ride I had been on since I had met Adam.
“Not really—if you don’t count him trying to kiss me and me freaking out about it.” I spilled.
“Oh my God.” Lydia commented in a hushed voice. “How did that happen?”
I quickly told her exactly what had happened on the date with Gregory. She just listened, eyes wide.
“Who would have expected that,” she said after I was finished.
“It wasn’t actually sensitive of me to go on a date with him when I knew it was only to distract myself from the pain caused by Adam’s rejection,” I told her, not knowing how I had gotten there. “I didn’t think he was so serious, Lyd. What should I do now?” I felt my forehead crease, and tension was running up my spine.
It was just then when Amber came bustling around the corner.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” she called to us from a few yards distance. “I tried to call you on the weekend. Where have you been?” Her eyes were directed at me.
“Flu,” I answered, trying to sound nonchalant. “But I’m fine now.”
“I see,” she rolled her eyes. “Tell me everything!” she demanded, curiosity showing in every inch of her body.
“Okay,” I gave in once more and started retelling the short version of the story about my date with Gregory.
Amber’s eyes went bigger and bigger with the progress of the story. “So, what are you going to do now?”
“That’s exactly where we stood before you interrupted,” Lydia told Amber.
The two girls gave me advice all the way to the next class, and they continued through lunch. Even though I preferred their company to Gregory’s right now, I’d rather they shut up. Lydia’s advice sometimes seemed unrealistic. She had never dated much. Richard had been her first and only boyfriend so far, and they were so annoyingly happy with each other that I couldn’t help but envy her every now and then. I knew she deserved a healthy relationship—she was a nice person—but it irritated me how easy it seemed to be for them to simply be together. No supernatural interference, no life threatening situations, no drama. Richard obviously was a good guy, and so was Gregory, even if his attempts to win my heart had backfired.
I wasn’t sure about Adam. Being an angel—did this make him a good guy, or was he one of the bad guys that always hid behind a mask of goodness, but when you dug a little deeper you found dark secrets? I had found a big secret with Adam—he was an angel. Was this a dark secret? Not very likely; but still a secret. And it brought bad things with it.
It felt normal—good—to be with my best girlfriends, talking boys like we had before all the supernatural elements had come into my life. It made the connection to my former reality stronger and the bond between the three of us more durable.
“So, what’s the plan now?” Amber asked for maybe the hundredth time.
“Talk to him—in the end, I won’t be able to dodge him forever.” I grimaced at the thought of our last conversation and how it had ended. I had to make it up with Gregory—somehow. He had been there for me all along. He had been one of the first people at Aurora High who had shown interest in me as a person, instead of believing the gossip. He had helped me through hard times, and he had never let me down. It wouldn’t have been fair to just ignore him for the rest of my life. Deep inside I was sure I wasn’t capable of holding a grudge against him forever. I would talk to him in the end, and we would find a way to work it out—at least I hoped so.
“Anyway, we’re running late, let’s go.” I lead the way to the next class.
The afternoon was over more quickly than I would have believed possible, and I found myself in the parking lot chatting with Lydia.
“Need a ride home?” she offered.
I knew I had to turn her down, but I didn’t want to tell her why. “No thanks,” I shook my head and then quickly changed the topic. “Did you know Amber applied to a drama college in New York?” Amber had told me a few weeks ago, but it all had been of little importance at that time.
“Really?” Lydia was enthusiastic. “When?”
“A month ago, I think. Wonder whether she already got feedback…” I really did. Amber was so talented, it would have been a waste if she didn’t make something out of it. “I’m hoping for her to get admitted.”
“Yeah, she deserves it. Let’s ask her tomorrow. I have to get going.” She turned to her car. “See you tomorrow,” she called and waved at me as she rolled away.
I took a deep breath, glad that Adam had taken his time. I waited for a few more minutes before he turned up in his father’s black Jeep, a serious expression on his face.
“Hi,” I got into the car and buckled up.
He measured my face for a moment and then his mouth gave me a little smile, his eyes remaining serious. “How are you?”
“Fine, but you already know, don’t you?” Surely he had taken in my emotional state as soon as he had seen me standing in the parking lot.
He nodded. “You were alone—all the others gone already?” Concern was obvious on his face.
“Only for a few minutes.” I took a quick look around the lot. There were only a few cars left and no students were there. “Most of the others went home already, and some still have classes.” I shrug
ged to show him it didn’t bother me.
“I don’t want you to be alone for even a minute.” Adam growled.
“Oh, come on, Adam, I wasn’t alone—not really. There’s a big school building full of people and the street right over there is full of traffic. I’m not alone. Okay?”
He smiled at my outburst and then kissed me on the cheek. “Sorry, I guess I’m overreacting. I almost lost you once…” His face was back to serious.
“Don’t think of that.” I instantly was back to this surreal seeming reality that was flowing parallel to the one I had just experienced with Amber and Lydia for a few hours. They were more intertwined than I had expected. “I had a nice normal day. Chatted with my friends the way I did before all this happened. No need to worry.”
“Nice to hear you had a good day.” He looked out of the window, avoiding my gaze. “I’m sorry I made this happen to you.”
“No, no, no—you didn’t make this happen to me.”
“Yes, I did,” he interrupted.
“I don’t think so.”
“But it’s true.”
“How?”
“By searching for you and finding you and falling in love with you—it’s my fault they’re after you now. I’m a bad guy.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
He looked up at me, locking me in place with his eyes.
“You didn’t make me fall in love with you. It was out of your hands. It was I who fell in love with you. So if you want to blame somebody—blame me.”
Adam’s gaze melted as my words progressed. He reached out a hand and cradled my face in it for a minute. I let my cheek sink into his palm. My hair swung down like a curtain, hiding my eyes from his view. I closed them and inhaled. “I love you.”
“I can’t blame you for anything.” Adam said with a shaky voice. “You’re the innocent butterfly that got caught up in the net of a dark spider. Now your wings are stuck to the fibers and you can’t fly away. My mark is what holds you there, and I can only stay near enough the net to keep the spider from swallowing you right away, but I can’t free you. And that’s what I regret—not meeting you, not loving you—but making you a target in a war that’s older than time.
“I want you to be free, to fly away from all this—from me. But it’s too late, and I’m sorry for that. If I had any idea what would happen, I would have stayed away from you from the beginning. But now it’s my duty to stay with you now.”
“Shut up,” I mumbled under my breath, not wanting to hear this. The situation was bad enough without him blaming himself and without me being reminded of the inevitable outcome.
I wasn’t sure if he heard me, but the car started rolling and he steered us into the afternoon traffic of Aurora. Silence spread in the car—one of the uncomfortable ones, where you had the feeling you needed to say something, but couldn’t think of anything fitting.
“How was your day?” I tried after a minute.
He grinned half heartedly. “Okay.”
Silence again.
“What did you do?” I tried to keep the conversation going.
“Nothing special. Just classes and a walk with Antonio in the afternoon.”
“Where is he now?”
“Dropped him off at my parents’.” The awkwardness slowly left the inside of the car. “What do you want to do tonight? You said normal was good—let’s do something normal.”
“Uhm—okay—” I answered in an inspiration of intelligence and felicity. Astonished by the strength of my vocabulary I searched for a better answer. “That would be nice. Any suggestions?”
He smiled at me sheepishly. “To be honest, I already have something in mind.”
“What would that be?”
“Surprise,” he lifted one hand from the steering wheel to pretend to be sealing his lips with a zipper.
“Unfair,” I taunted him with a grin. I watched him drive for a while and noticed he was wearing a black coat. It looked elegant—not his usual style.
At my place he pulled into the driveway and stopped the car.
Nigel was waiting at the front door, meowing at me as I unlocked the door. He squeezed in and rushed through to the kitchen. I followed him there, fed him and then climbed the stairs to my room. Adam was already waiting there with a suit bag over his arm.
“Time to get changed, beautiful,” he said in an intriguing velvet voice. I was sure I must have looked at him like an alien, because he walked over to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him.
“What exactly is that?” I asked carefully, like I didn’t want to startle a wild animal.
“What does it look like?” He pulled me even closer with one arm and placed me in front of the big mirror, planting himself beside me. “I think you need something more dressy tonight.”
I stared at his reflection in the mirror. His coat was open and underneath it a black suit was visible. White shirt, black tie, shiny black shoes. My mouth fell open as I took in his appearance.
“Oh my God—Adam…”
“Do I look that bad?” He mocked.
“On the contrary.” I shook my head, and my mind restructured. “You look—” damn hot! “—good.” I corrected myself and smiled at him innocently. I was pretty sure he knew that I wanted to tear the fabric from his body right then—his smile was suggesting it.
“Well, thanks. Thought I might dress up a little for this normal evening with my girlfriend.”
“Where are we going?” He was making me curious.
“Still a surprise,” he lifted the suit bag from his arm and opened it. He revealed something light and floral, a subdued shade of grayish purple. He pulled it out of the suit bag in a swift movement. It was pretty—a knee length dress with several layers of chiffon falling down from the waist.
“For me?” I asked, not believing he had actually brought me a dress. He nodded enthusiastically.
“Will you please put it on without asking?” he pleaded with a smart expression of dignity.
I stripped out of my sweater and grabbed the dress from his hand. “Back in a minute,” I called as I headed for the bathroom. “How much time do I have to become presentable?”
“You always are,” he called back. “But if you mean, when do we have to go, that’s half an hour—maybe more.” I heard him chuckle behind me.
In the bathroom, I got out of my clothes, pulled skin colored tights from a drawer and slipped into them. Then I slid the dress over my head. It fell down like a cloud of feathers and folded itself around my body like it was made for me. I pulled up the zipper on the side and looked into the mirror. Where had he gotten it and how had he known my size? It was perfect, beautiful.
I quickly put on some mascara and rouge. A hint of gloss on the lips, and I returned to my room, where Adam was sitting on the end of the bed waiting for me. The moment I walked through the door he got to his feet and looked at me with awe. “You’re anything but normal, you’re beautiful, perfect, Claire …I’m running out of words—I’m speechless.”
He reached behind him on the bed, opened a box and pulled out satin ballerinas in the color of the dress. He placed them in front of my feet and I slipped into them—perfect fit again.
“Where did you get this dress? Who’s is it?” I was sure he must have borrowed it from a friend.
“It’s yours.”
“What?” My eyes popped. “You can’t buy me a dress.”
He laughed at my reaction. “You wearing it is the living proof that I can. And I didn’t buy it, technically—” his face was sheepish again, “—I had it tailored for you.”
“You what?—Are you insane?”
“No—” he took my hands, preventing me from gesturing wildly. “—just in love with the most amazing woman—who hasn’t got a fitting dress for this occasion, so I thought I might help.” He reached into his pocket with one hand, holding mine with the other and then vanished. A second later he popped up behind me with his hands on my shoulder. I jumped.
&nbs
p; “Shhh—” his fingers brushed my hair off my neck. “Just me.” And he wound his hand around my throat, sliding something thin and cool around it. Only a few seconds later he pulled me back towards the mirror.
The girl in the reflection looked pretty. Ash blond hair fell down to her waist, framing her face. Her cheeks were rosy from the rouge and her eyes stood out with a gleam of excitement. But what was most eye-catching about her was a silver necklace which lay lightly on her collarbone. A small, oval rosy stone in a silver frame was sitting on top of a white pearl. I shook my head.
“Why are you giving me this?”
“Because I want to—and because I couldn’t find anything occasion-fitting in your closet,” he smiled brilliantly, but it made me sad. I had nothing I could give to him. No great presents, no gifts.
“I cannot accept it. I’m sorry.” I reached up to take off the necklace, in a flash of false pride. It reminded me how little I had to give. Adam’s hands had caught mine before I had even reached it. He was so quick.
“Please, for me—” he looked at me with the most alluring eyes I’d ever seen, a hint of his angel-self revealed in the way they smoldered in the shadow of his eyebrows.
“Alright,” I sighed. “I’ll wear it. But you take the necklace back afterwards—promise?”
“Not a chance,” he kissed me lightly on my neck and then my throat and jaw. “It’s yours.”
I felt myself wavering under his touch and my objections disappeared somewhere between his lips touching my jaw and my mouth. I pulled away.
“I don’t really think it would suit you anyway.” I opened the closet and browsed through it quickly, hoping to find some fitting jacket—nothing there—then I headed downstairs for the kitchen, wondering how my old winter jacket would go with my outfit.
“Which tailor can make a dress in one day?” I asked him as he followed me. He bent down to stroke Nigel who had curled up on a chair.
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