by Tahereh Mafi
“I don’t think it’s stupid to fight for humanity—”
“You have no idea what you’re saying,” he snaps, his jaw tensing. “There’s nothing we can do now.”
“There’s always something, Adam. There has to be. Because I won’t live like this anymore. Not ever again.”
“Juliette, please,” he says, his words desperate all of a sudden, anguished. “I don’t want you to get killed—I don’t want to lose you again—”
“This isn’t about you, Adam.” I feel terrible saying it, but he has to understand. “You’re so important to me. You’ve loved me and you were there for me when no one else was. I never want you to think I don’t care about you, because I do,” I tell him. “But this decision has nothing to do with you. It’s about me,” I tell him. “And this life”—I point to the door—“the life on the other side of that wall? That’s not what I want.”
My words only seem to upset him more.
“Then you’d rather be dead?” he asks, angry again. “Is that what you’re saying? You’d rather be dead than try to build a life with me here?”
“I would rather be dead,” I say to him, inching away from his outstretched hand, “than go back to being silent and suffocated.”
And Adam is just about to respond—he’s parting his lips to speak—when the sounds of chaos reach us from the other side of the wall. We share one panicked look before yanking the bedroom door open and rushing into the living room.
My heart stops. Starts. Stops again.
Warner is here.
TWENTY
He’s standing at the front door, hands shoved casually in his pockets, no fewer than six different guns pointed at his face. My mind is racing as it tries to process what to do next, how best to proceed. But Warner’s face changes seasons as I enter the room: the cold line of his mouth blossoms into a bright smile. His eyes shine as he grins at me, not seeming to mind or even notice the many lethal weapons aimed in his direction.
I can’t help but wonder how he found me.
I begin to move forward but Adam grabs my arm. I turn around, wondering at my sudden irritation with him. I’m almost irritated with myself for being irritated with him. This is not how I imagined it would be to see Adam again. I don’t want it to be this way. I want to start over.
“What are you doing?” Adam says to me. “Don’t go near him.”
I stare at his hand on my arm. Look up to meet his gaze.
Adam doesn’t budge.
“Let go of me,” I say to him.
His face clears all of a sudden, like he’s startled, somehow. He looks down at his hand; releases me without a word.
I put as much space between us as I can, the whole time scanning the room for Kenji. His sharp black eyes meet mine immediately and he raises one eyebrow; his head is cocked to the side, the twitch of his lips telling me the next move is mine and I’d better make it count. I part my way through my friends until I’m standing in front of Warner, facing my friends and their guns and hoping they won’t fire at me instead.
I make an effort to sound calm. “Please,” I say. “Don’t shoot him.”
“And why the hell not?” Ian demands, his grip tightening around his gun.
“Juliette, love,” Warner says, leaning into my ear. His voice is still loud enough for everyone to hear. “I do appreciate you defending me, but really, I’m quite able to handle the situation.”
“It’s eight against one,” I say to him, forgetting my fear in the temptation to roll my eyes. “They’ve all got guns pointed at your face. I’m pretty sure you need my interference.”
I hear him laugh behind me, just once, just before every gun in the room is yanked out of every hand and thrown up against the ceiling. I spin around in shock, catching a glimpse of the astonishment on every face behind me.
“Why do you always hesitate?” Warner asks, shaking his head as he glances around the room. “Shoot if you want to shoot. Don’t waste my time with theatrics.”
“How the hell did you do that?” Ian demands.
Warner says nothing. He tugs off his gloves carefully, pulling at each finger before slipping them off his hands.
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “They already know.”
Warner looks up. Raises an eyebrow at me. Smiles a little. “Do they really?”
“Yes. I told them.”
Warner’s smile changes into something almost self-mocking as he turns away, his eyes laughing as he contemplates the ceiling. Finally he nods at Castle, who’s staring at the commotion with a vaguely displeased expression. “I borrowed,” Warner says to Ian, “from present company.”
“Hot damn,” Ian breathes.
“What do you want?” Lily asks, fists clenched, standing in a far corner of the room.
“Nothing from you,” Warner says to her. “I’m here to pick up Juliette. I have no wish to disturb your . . . slumber party,” he says, looking around at the pillows and blankets piled on the living room floor.
Adam goes rigid with alarm. “What are you talking about? She’s not going anywhere with you.”
Warner scratches the back of his head. “Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill.”
I hear an abrupt wheezing noise and turn toward the sound.
Kenji has a hand pressed to his mouth, desperately trying to suppress a smile. He’s shaking his head, holding up a hand in apology. And then he breaks, laughing out loud, snorting as he tries to muffle the sound. “I’m sorry,” he says, pressing his lips together, shaking his head again. “This is not a funny moment. It’s not. I’m not laughing.”
Adam looks like he might punch Kenji in the face.
“So you don’t want to kill us?” Winston says. “Because if you’re not going to kill us, you should probably get the hell out of here before we kill you first.”
“No,” Warner says calmly. “I am not going to kill you. And though I wouldn’t mind disposing of these two”—he nods at Adam and Kenji—“the idea is little more than exhausting to me now. I am no longer interested in your sad, pathetic lives. I am only here to accompany and transport Juliette safely home. She and I have urgent matters to attend to.”
“No,” I hear James say suddenly. He clambers to his feet, stares Warner straight in the eye. “This is her home now. You can’t take her away. I don’t want anyone to hurt her.”
Warner’s eyebrows fly up in surprise. He seems genuinely startled, as though he’s only now noticing the ten-year-old. Warner and James have never actually met before; neither one of them knows they’re brothers.
I look at Kenji. He looks back.
This is a big moment.
Warner studies James’s face with rapt fascination. He bends down on one knee, meets James at eye level. “And who are you?” he asks.
Everyone in the room is silent, watching.
James blinks steadily and doesn’t answer right away. He finally shoves his hands into his pockets and stares at the floor. “I’m James. Adam’s brother. Who are you?”
Warner tilts his head a little. “No one of consequence,” he says. He tries to smile. “But it’s very nice to meet you, James. I’m pleased to see your concern for Juliette’s safety. You should know, however, that I have no intention of hurting her. It’s just that she’s made me a promise, and I intend to see it through.”
“What kind of promise?” James asks.
“Yeah, what kind of promise?” Kenji cuts in, his voice loud—and angry—all of sudden.
I look up, look around. Everyone is staring at me, waiting for me to answer. Adam’s eyes are wide with horror and disbelief.
I meet Warner’s gaze. “I’m not leaving,” I tell him. “I never promised I would stay on base with you.”
He frowns. “You’d rather stay here?” he asks. “Why?”
“I need my friends,” I tell him. “And they need me. Besides, we’re all going to have to work together, so we may
as well get started now. And I don’t want to have to be smuggled in and out of base,” I add. “You can just meet me here.”
“Whoa—wait—what do you mean we can all work together?” Ian interrupts. “And why are you inviting him to come back here? What the hell are you guys talking about?”
“What kind of promise did you make him, Juliette?” Adam’s voice is loud and accusing.
I turn toward the group of them. Me, standing beside Warner, facing Adam’s angry eyes along with the confused, soon-to-be-angry faces of my friends.
Oh how strange all of this has become in such a short period of time.
I take a tight, bracing breath.
“I’m ready to fight,” I say, addressing the entire group. “I know some of you might feel defeated; some of you might think there’s no hope left, especially not after what happened to Omega Point. But Sonya and Sara are still out there, and they need our help. So does the rest of the world. And I haven’t come this far just to turn back now. I’m ready to take action and Warner has offered to help me.”
I look directly at Kenji. “I’ve accepted his offer. I’ve promised to be his ally; to fight by his side; to kill Anderson and to take down The Reestablishment.”
Kenji narrows his eyes at me and I can’t tell if he’s angry, or if he’s really, really angry.
I look at the rest of my friends. “But we can all work together,” I say.
“I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” I go on, “and I think the group of us still has a chance, especially if we combine our strengths with Warner’s. He knows things about The Reestablishment and his father that we’d never be able to know otherwise.”
I swallow hard as I take in the shocked, horrified looks on the faces of those around me. “But,” I hurry to say, “if you aren’t interested in fighting back anymore, I totally understand. And if you’d rather I didn’t stay here among you, I would respect your decision. Either way, I’ve already made my choice,” I tell them. “Whether or not you choose to join me, I’ve decided to fight. I will take down The Reestablishment or I will die trying. There’s nothing left for me otherwise.”
TWENTY-ONE
The room is quiet for a long time. I’ve dropped my eyes, too afraid to see the looks on their faces.
Alia is the first to speak.
“I’ll fight with you,” she says, her soft voice ringing strong and confident in the silence. I look up to meet her eyes and she smiles, her cheeks flushed with color and determination.
But before I even have a chance to respond, Winston jumps in.
“Me too,” he says. “As soon as my head stops hurting, but yeah, me too. I’ve got nothing left to lose,” he says with a shrug. “And I’ll kick some ass just to get the girls back, even if we can’t save the rest of the world.”
“Same,” Brendan says, nodding at me. “I’m in, too.”
Ian is shaking his head. “How the hell can we trust this guy?” he asks. “How do we know he’s not full of shit?”
“Yeah,” Lily pipes up. “This doesn’t feel right.” She focuses her eyes on Warner. “Why would you want to help any of us?” she asks him. “Since when have you ever been trustworthy?”
Warner runs a hand through his hair. Smiles unkindly. Glances at me.
He’s not amused.
“I am not trustworthy,” Warner finally says, looking up to meet Lily’s eyes. “And I have no interest in helping you,” he says. “In fact, I think I was very clear just a moment ago when I said that I was here for Juliette. I did not sign up to help her friends, and I will make zero guarantees for your survival or your safety. So if you’re seeking reassurance,” he says, “I can, and will, offer you none.”
Ian is actually smiling.
Lily looks a little mollified.
Kenji is shaking his head.
“All right.” Ian nods. “That’s cool.” He rubs his forehead. “So what’s the game plan?”
“Have you all lost your minds?” Adam explodes. “Are you forgetting who you’re talking to? He just busts down our door and demands to take Juliette away and you want to stand by his side and fight with him? The same guy who’s responsible for destroying Omega Point?” he says. “Everyone is dead because of him!”
“I am not responsible for that,” Warner says sharply, his expression darkening. “That was not my call, nor did I have any idea it was happening. By the time I broke out of Omega Point and found my way back to base, my father’s plans were already under way. I was not a part of the battle, nor was I a part of the assault on Omega Point.”
“It’s true,” Lily says. “The supreme is the one who ordered the air strike against Omega Point.”
“Yeah, and as much as I hate this guy by default,” Winston adds, jerking a thumb at Warner, “I hate his father a whole hell of a lot more. He’s the one who kidnapped us. It was his men who held us captive; not the soldiers of Sector 45. So yeah,” Winston says, stretching back on the couch, “I’d love to watch the supreme die a slow, miserable death.”
“I have to admit,” Brendan says, “I’m not often keen on revenge, but it does sound very sweet right now.”
“I want to watch that bastard bleed,” Ian says.
“How nice that we all have something in common,” Warner mutters, irritated. He sighs. Looks at me. “Juliette, a word, please?”
“This is bullshit!” Adam shouts. He looks around. “How can you all so easily forget yourselves? How can you forget what he’s done—what he did to me—what he did to Kenji?” Adam pivots to face me then. “How can you even look at him,” he says to me, “knowing how he treated us? He nearly murdered me—leaving me to bleed out slowly so he could take his time torturing me to death—”
“Kent, man, please—you need to calm down, okay?” Kenji steps forward. “I understand that you’re pissed—I’m not happy about this either—but things get crazy in the aftermath of war. Alliances form in unlikely ways.” He shrugs. “If this is the only way to take Anderson out, maybe we should consider—”
“I can’t believe this.” Adam cuts him off, looking around. “I can’t believe this is happening. You’ve all lost your minds. You’re all insane,” he says, gripping the back of his head. “This guy is a psycho—he’s a murderer—”
“Adam,” I try to say. “Please—”
“What’s happened to you?” He turns on me. “I don’t even know who you are anymore. I thought you were dead—I thought he’d killed you,” he says, pointing at Warner. “And now you’re standing here, teaming up with the guy who tried to ruin your life? Talking about fighting back because you have nothing left to live for? What about me?” he demands. “What about our relationship? When did that stop being enough for you?”
“This isn’t about us,” I try to tell him. “Please, Adam—let me explain—”
“I have to get out of here,” he says abruptly, moving toward the door. “I can’t be here right now—I can’t process all of this in one day. It’s too much,” he says. “It’s too much for me—”
“Adam—” I catch his arm in one last attempt, one last effort to try and talk to him, but he breaks away.
“All of this,” he says, meeting my eyes, his voice quieting to a raw, aching whisper, “was for you. I left everything I knew because I thought we were in this together. I thought it was going to be me and you.” His eyes are so dark, so deep, so hurt. Looking at him makes me want to curl up and die. “What are you doing?” he says, desperate now. “What are you thinking?”
And I realize he actually wants an answer.
Because he waits.
He stands there, and he waits. Waits to hear my response while everyone watches us, likely entertained by the spectacle we’ve made. I can’t believe he’s doing this to me. Here. Right now. In front of everyone.
In front of Warner.
I try to meet Adam’s eyes, but find I can’t hold his gaze for very long.
“I don’t want to live in fear anymore,” I say, hoping I sound stronge
r than I feel. “I have to fight back,” I tell him. “I thought we wanted the same things.”
“No—I wanted you,” he says, struggling to keep his voice steady. “That’s all I wanted. From the very beginning, Juliette. You were it. You were all I wanted.”
And I can’t speak.
I can’t speak
I can’t cough up the words because I can’t break his heart like this but he’s waiting, he’s waiting and he’s looking at me and “I need more,” I choke out. “I wanted you, too, Adam, but I need more than that. I need to be free. Please, try to understand—”
“STOP!” Adam explodes. “Stop trying to get me to understand a bunch of bullshit! I can’t deal with you anymore.” And then he grabs the jacket sitting on the sofa, hauls the door open, and slams it shut behind him.
There’s a moment of absolute silence.
I try to run after him.
Kenji catches me around the waist, yanks me backward. Gives me a hard, knowing look. “I’ll take care of Kent. You stay here and clean up the mess you made,” he says, cocking his head at Warner.
I swallow, hard. Don’t say a word.
It’s only after Kenji has disappeared that I turn around to face the remaining members of our audience, and I’m still searching for the right thing to say when I hear the one voice I least expected.
“Ah, Ms. Ferrars,” Castle says. “It’s so good to have you back. Things are always so much more entertaining when you’re around.”
Ian bursts into tears.
TWENTY-TWO
Everyone crowds around Castle at once; James practically tackles him. Ian shoves everyone else out of the way in his attempt to get closer. Castle is smiling, laughing a little. He finally looks more like the man I remember.
“I’m all right,” he’s saying. He sounds exhausted, as if the words are costing him a great deal to get out. “Thank you so much for your concern. But I’ll be all right. I just need a little more time, that’s all.”