The Darkest Winter

by Lindsey Pogue

  “And, has it always been here?”

  He stepped off the porch and into the snow, walking toward the gray one whose tail wagged as he stepped closer as Beau. “No,” he said, but he was far enough ahead, I could barely hear him through the crunching snow.

  “Beau,” I said carefully. I was all for him practicing his communication with the wolves, but I wasn’t sure about disappearing into the woods. I gripped tighter to my gun. “Maybe you should—”

  “Come on,” he said with more pep. “You can say hi to all of them.” The three wolves darted into the trees and Beau trekked after them.

  That ever-present disquiet I had that always kept me on edge, dimmed a little, and I knew Beau was right. I could say hi to a wild wolf. It was safe.

  “How do you communicate to them?” I asked following them deeper into the woods.

  “I know what they are thinking,” he said. “I see it in pictures and I can feel it.”

  I stepped over a log, waiting for the hair on the back of my neck to rise. I couldn’t believe the words were on the tip of my tongue, “So, what are the wolves thinking?”

  “They want to play. They think I’m one of them, at least, I think they do.”

  “And you know they don’t want to hurt you. You can sense that?”

  “Yeah, they get scared sometimes, but then they don’t come around. I told them you wouldn’t hurt them though.”

  I heard a few yips in the distant, the gray and tan wolves trotting ahead.

  “There are eight. Taiga and Luna and their six kids.”

  “Eight,” I breathed. “That’s a big number.” We could’ve been marching to a feeding frenzy for all I knew.

  “Taiga is the dad, Luna is the mom.”

  “You picked their names already, huh? How long have they been hanging around?” I paused. “Are these the same wolves from Slana?”

  Beau nodded. “Snow forest, like where they live[LP149]. The full moon for their favorite part of night.”

  The wolves were lying together on boulders when they came into view, and I stopped where I stood, watching Beau with bated breath as he walked up to greet them. Tails wagged. They yawned and nuzzled and yipped at him. I’d never seen Beau with a bigger smile, and I crouched down, my leg too shaky to trust.

  “This is Rocky,” he said, glancing over at me. He pet the dark brown wolf’s head, and it licked his glove in return.

  “Rocky, huh?”

  “He likes to lie on the rocks in the sun. He’s the youngest.” Beau walked him over and took my hand. “You can pet him. He likes attention the most.”

  I waited for the ominous warning inside me to blare back to life like it did so frequently, but still nothing came. I had no apprehension whatsoever, just like when I was around Elle. Somehow, I knew that she wouldn’t hurt me, and they wouldn’t hurt me either.

  And only then as I crouched beside Beau with eight wolves hanging around us, welcoming us like we were two of their own, did I realize maybe there was something different about me and there had been all along.

  Chapter 54

  Elle

  Aurora Borealis broke through the clouds as I made my way to the fire pit. The others were still getting dressed for a night under the stars, but I was content in my long sleeves and jeans. Fleetingly, I wondered if that’s how it would be for the rest of my life, always warm or overheating, and what would summers be like? Miserable?

  Jackson was right. We needed to practice what we could do if we would gain control over them, and even if feared I’d hurt someone, it didn’t mean I couldn’t practice on my own.

  As I walked over to the fire pit, I glanced around to see if anyone was on their way over. Only Bear rustled over by the main house, so I knelt down by the logs of the unlit fire.

  My rib was on the mend, but I was still on light duty, and without running to burn off the excess energy inside, I hoped this might be another way to do it.

  Taking a deep breath, I reached out to touch the log, but nothing happened. Daredevil he was, Jackson had let me touch him with my bare hands and that hadn’t sparked a flame, so I wasn’t surprised with the result.

  Feeling even more silly, I leaned closer and tried to blow the fire to a start. Then I tried again, only I imagined the man in Slana with the gun in front of me, aiming at me and the kids. I grabbed onto the fear and the dread that resurfaced and imagined the menace in his eyes, and the burn shifted inside of me, blooming in my chest and heating the tips of my fingers. Though the fire remained unlit, something was happening.

  “Do you need a fire starter?” Jade asked, coming up behind me wrapped in a wool shawl, her eyes sparkling in the light fully lighting the sky above.

  “Oh, uh, yeah,” I said dumbly, and I sat back into an empty chair.

  “Trying to start it yourself?” she asked, settling into the seat a couple chairs down. She blew on her hot much and peered at me over the brim.

  “I—I,” I stammered. “Yes,” I breathed, and it was a relief to say. “I know that sounds crazy, and I’m sure—”

  “Crazier than a wild wolf crawling into a little boys lap? Crazier than Sophie telling me she loved the Moon drawing I gave my son three years ago because she forgot she’d only seen it in a memory? I guess that was that bag of oats, too, that Thea knocked over this morning from the other side of the room.”

  My cheeks burned red, and it wasn’t my unnatural kind. I ran my hands over my face. “You aren’t wearing your gloves,” she pointed out with a smile. She wasn’t freaking out, not like I was, and I took a deep breath.

  “You’re completely entertained by all of this, aren’t you?”

  “It’s unexpected, but it’s not every day a little girl can stir your gravy for you from the other side of the room while you finish folding the laundry.” She winked. “We’ve been practicing.”

  “We weren’t sure how you would take it,” I admitted. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but . . .”

  “When I was eleven, I woke with a horrible premonition that my mother would die. I remember having tears in my eyes the moment I opened them, it felt so real. I told my father I saw her drowning in the river—that she would fall through the ice and be swept away by the current, but he didn’t believe me. I was a child who woke up from a nightmare in his eyes, no matter how desperate I was to stop her from leaving. But it wouldn’t have made a difference because she’d already left with my uncle and grandfather for their annual fishing trip north.”

  Jade’s eyes were soft and thoughtful. “She never came back from the trip.”

  I gaped at her. “She drowned?”

  Jade dipped her chin slowly and took another sip of her tea. “I believe in things unseen,” she said. “And there are many things still unknown about our spirit and purpose in this life.” She paused, a thought lifting the corner of her mouth happily before she continued. “I think we all have something inside of us we don’t fully understand. It’s always there, and sometimes it remains undiscovered. I don’t know if it’s the sickness you’ve all been through or something more infinite than that, but you have found yours. All of you have, and that is something I think should be celebrated. It’s a purpose few people find—it’s always been there, only now, it’s known.”

  I’d never considered that before, an innate part of me that’s been dormant and would still be that way if I hadn’t visited the fiery depths of the sickness before I came out the other side. “The human mind is so complex and still so unknown.”

  “So is the intricacy of all life in this place, no matter what you believe, I’m certain most would agree we know little in the great scheme of things.” She peered up at the lights in the sky. “This is proof of that. The spirits are out tonight, so late in the winter.” She glanced at me. “I wonder why.”

  Jet was up there, Milo, my sister, even Jade’s mom. “I’m sorry about your mother.” I couldn’t imagine losing my mother, not because I cared so deeply for her, but because she was such an absent part of my life. But I
could imagine losing one of the kids, and how heartbroken I would be. I figured multiplying that by a hundred wouldn’t come close to the love between a daughter and a mother.

  “Thank you, but it was many years ago. I went to live with my grandmother who was very old fashioned,” she said, pointing to the tattoos[MOU150] on her chin. “As you can tell.”

  Jade was such an interesting human, I wanted to cling to her like lichen on a rock and absorb all her knowledge and insights about life and time and people.

  “Perhaps you need a spark,” she said.

  “A what?”

  She pointed to the fire. “A spark to start your fire?”

  “Oh,” I righted in my chair. “Maybe . . . But I haven’t needed one before.” I took a match out of the camping box beside the fire and stared at the striking tip. I wasn’t sure I wanted to attempt this with her standing there, but I had little choice.

  Closing my eyes, I thought about the intruders face again, saw the gauntness of his face and the determination in his yellow tinted eyes, and I touched the tip of the match, determined to burn the image of his face away.

  At first, it felt like the tip of a match, and then my fingers warmed. I felt the heat of the flame against my face before I even opened my eyes. It flickered on the end, burning slowly down the stick. The closer it moved toward my fingers, the more curious I became, but the door to the cabin opened across the yard and I heard the kids coming out, so I tossed it into the fire, and quickly lit another one. Again with my hand, this time, and with a victorious smile, I lit the tinder beneath the logs and watched them flame.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, glancing at Jade. She winked at me again. I was practically giddy inside. Not only did I have more of a glimpse into how my power worked, I could let some pent-up energy out; I felt more in control again.

  She smiled back and brought a mug to her lips. “It’s just the musing of an old lady,” she said, but it was so much more than that.

  “I thought using my fear and anger would make it work like before.” I shrugged.

  “Memories of fear and anger aren’t the same as the heat of the moment,” she said, and I restrained from laughing at her choice of words.

  “That makes sense,” I said, staring into the growing flames.

  “Yah-haw,” Beau said from the cabin.

  “Nah-haw,” Thea retorted, and the door slammed shut behind them.

  “Whatever. They already have names. You can’t change them, Thea. And you can’t name a boy Flower if he doesn’t want that to be his name.” A white and gray wolf with a spot on the top of his head, trotted over behind them.

  Thea took an empty seat by the fire and pet the wolf’s head as he sat down between her and Beau. “Pretty Flower,” she said.

  “You’re so annoying,” Beau grumbled.

  Jackson, Took, and Del came out of the cabin next, thermoses full of warmth for everyone to drink. “Did everyone bring their cups?” Took asked and unscrewed the lid of his.

  “Yes,” Beau said, and Sophie and Alex straggled over behind them. I was glad to see they were getting along, everyone was, and I could’ve stayed content like that forever.[151]

  Took walked the circle, pouring them each a full mug of hot cocoa. Since the kids had it once a night, he’d decided he liked to drink it with them.

  The wolf lifted his ears and looked back at Jackson coming up behind us. Hands in his pockets he glanced around at all of us and took a seat in the empty chair across the fire from me.

  “Where did you disappear to after dinner?” Jade asked. “Making the rounds?”

  Jackson nodded. “And thinking.”

  “Oh boy,” Alex said jokingly.

  I smiled and settled into my seat.

  “Is it about you leaving?” Sophie asked, I could hear the reluctance in her voice and it made the anticipation all the better.

  “About all of us leaving, together. If you want.”

  “You’re coming to Hartley?” Alex leaned forward, steaming mug in his hand. “I mean, that’s awesome, but I thought you weren’t feeling the whole community vibe.”

  “That depends,” he said. “What do you all want to do?”

  “I don’t want to go to Hartley anymore,” Beau said.

  “You don’t?” I asked, more than surprised.

  “What about the wolves,” he said. “I can’t leave them.”

  I hadn’t considered the wolves.

  “They won’t let me keep them, and they might try to hurt them—”

  “It’s okay, kid, we’ll figure it out,” Jackson said. “It’s up to everyone else too,” he peered around at the kids’. “What about the rest of you?”

  “What do you and Elle want?” Sophie asked, her eyes leveled on me. If I knew Sophie, she knew the answer before we did.

  “I want to do what makes the most sense,” I said. “I want us to be safe, and I want us all to agree, where it is. We can’t stay here forever[MOU152], and the roads are dangerous, even once the snow melts. We need to settle someplace.”

  “What about your lodge?” Alex ask Jackson. “In Whitehorse?”

  I half-expected Jackson to shy away from the idea given it meant so much to him and his wife, but he lifted his shoulder. “We can do that,” he said. “Or at least we can check it out first. Ross will be there by tomorrow, and I don’t know the people with him, but we can check it out, and see if that’s something that will work.”

  “If we stay in Whitehorse,” Sophie said, looking at Jade. “We won’t be as far from you. We can even visit.”

  Jade smiled. “That would be wonderful.”

  “We could still go hunting with you guys in the spring,” Alex added. “It could be like an annual thing.”

  “And Beau can keep his wolves,” I added, meeting Jackson’s gaze. “Only if it’s okay.”

  Jackson nodded. “It’s decided then. We plan for Whitehorse and I’ll figure out a Plan B, in case we need it.”

  “I’d be happy to help,” Del added, wiping his tea from his lips. “I know the area well.”

  “We’ve been packing our things since we got here and the trailer’s fixed,” I reminded them. “Thanks to Alex. Once we get another vehicle, we can leave.”

  “Okay then,” I said, looking at Jackson. “It’s settled.”

  “Then,” she[153][H154] said, “we leave tomorrow.”

  Chapter 55

  Sophie

  Goodbyes sucked. I hated saying goodbye to my friends when I left Florida, and leaving the Ranskins was no different, in fact, it was worse. Even if I knew they would only be hours away, it was far enough to make it feel like we might never see them again, and it made me sad.

  But, we needed to leave sometime, and after all of our things were packed in the 4-Runner and the trailer was tarped over, all of us waiting awkwardly for by the vehicles for Jackson and Jade to join us so we could say a final goodbye.

  “It feels like we’ve been here so much longer than we have,” [LP155]I said, looking back at Alex as he tied down the generator in the back of the trailer. “In a good way.”

  “Yeah, I’ll agree with that. But we’ll be back, Soph.” He flashed me one of his jaw dropping grins.

  “You know those don’t work on me, right?” I said.

  He only laughed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Liar,” I muttered. Whenever he wanted to distract me, he flashed me a smile. He did it with Jade and with Elle though Thea was too young to notice.

  Elle opened the passenger door to set her water bottle inside, the groaned and huffed out a breath as she wrapped her arm around me. “I think we’re ready,” she said reluctantly. “Now we just wait for the boss.”

  “Which one,” Alex laughed. “Jade or Jackson?”

  “Jade’s definitely the boss,” Thea said, her and Beau plodding over with their backpacks and games in hand. Elle opened the door for them to put them inside.

  “Make sure you use the outhouse please,” she to
ld them and nodded to the corner of the property. “You have a minute before Jackson’s done.”

  “I already did,” Thea said.

  “And I can hold it.” Beau closed the door behind him.

  Elle threw up her hands. “Okay, well, I hope you’re telling the truth because otherwise it’s snow on the side of the road.”

  “What are they doing?” I asked. The waiting was sort of like waiting for nails on a chalkboard—you knew it was coming and waited on the edge.

  “Jackson’s writing directions for them, then we’ll go.”

  “Here, Elle,” Alex said, handing her the satellite phone. “We checked the batteries this morning, so they should last the trip.”

  Del and Took came around the front of the house, each with a large bag of jerky in their hands. “This is for the road,” Del said and handed me a bag and then one to Alex. “You never know when you need a fixin.”

  Alex chuckled. “Thanks, this is great. We’ll definitely dig into this during the drive. Jackson loves this shit.”

  “Bad word,” Thea pointed out and Elle glowered at him.

  “I meant stuff.”

  It was eight-plus hours to Whitehorse, depending on the road conditions ahead, and then we had to proceed with caution to get through it toward the lodge.

  “I’ve been to Mount Lorne,” Took said. “You kids ‘ll like it, but mark my words you’ll find yourselves in a heap of trouble.”

  “Why?” Thea asked, eyes wide.

  “Lakes. Forests—mountains—I can already see it.”

  “According to Jackson,” Elle said, “It’s a lodge that functioned like a ranch. It was a touristy place, but it could accommodate several people and it’s pretty secluded, which is what we need, given all the added dangers, so . . .”

  “Well, it sounds like it could be a nice place,” Del said. “I can’t wait to see it.”

  “Yeah,” Elle said, a little overwhelmed. “Us too.”

  “I’m excited to meet Ross,” Alex said. “He’s gonna be great, I know it. How could he not be? He’s Jackson’s best friend?”

  Jackson came around the side of the house then, Jade behind him. “Ross says the place is great, relatively speaking,” Jackson said. “He knows to expect us.”