Favours
Page 7
I think about reminding him that the murder investigation is still open, but I know it’s pointless. Levistus will see to it that it gets buried. “No,” I say.
“Goodbye, then.”
I start to leave.
“Oh, Sonder?”
I look back.
“If you’d walked in here today and tried blackmail, it would have gone badly for you,” Barrayar says. “As it is . . . you can consider yourself owed a favour.”
“I’m not doing this for a favour.”
“Nevertheless, the favour is there,” Barrayar says. “If you ever need a helping hand.” He nods. “Until next time.”
Barrayar walks away, and I stare after him until he disappears. From behind me, I hear a rustle of movement as the security man follows after him.
∞
The sun’s setting when I leave the War Rooms. I wander down the streets of Westminster, listening to the sounds of the coming evening. Now that it’s all over, I’m having second thoughts. Did I do the right thing?
The official rules, the ones that are written down in the books, say no. I should have gone to Rain and told him everything, laid it all out on the table. A part of me still wants to. In a way, it’d be a relief. Make it all someone else’s problem.
But the bigger and more important rules, the ones I’ve learned from years and years of watching Light mages, say yes. An accusation like this, timed just as Levistus is about to be raised to the Senior Council, would be a bombshell. Everyone would get involved.
It would be one thing if it was an open-and-shut case, but it wouldn’t be. To prove that Barrayar was guilty, I’d have to testify that the shroud signatures were the same. Barrayar and Levistus would bring in other time mages who’d testify that they were different. I’d say one thing, they’d say another, and no-one else would have any way to know who was right. That’s the problem with timesight; no-one else can see it. It all comes down to your word against theirs.
When it’s one person’s word against another’s, people believe whoever’s on their side. Levistus’s supporters will say that Barrayar’s innocent, and that I’ve made it all up to sabotage Levistus’s Council bid. They’ll look into my background, use whatever they find to undermine my credibility, and they’ll pressure me to withdraw. If I don’t, they’ll try to ruin my career. They’ll probably manage it, too. No-one will believe that I was just doing my job.
And while all that’s going on, all of the Council mages who haven’t taken a side, the ones who don’t care one way or another, they’re going to look at me and they’re all going to be thinking exactly the same thing. ‘Why didn’t that bloody fool just keep his mouth shut?’
Because it isn’t just about following the law. That’s what Caldera doesn’t understand. You have to think about what’s going to happen when you follow the law. I’ve heard the rumours – a lot of Light mages are looking at Morden, and saying we’re heading for another war. The last thing the Council needs right now is to be divided.
And there isn’t any very obvious reason that it should be divided. The only part of the case that hasn’t been solved is David Freeman’s murder, and from what I saw of his record, no-one’s going to miss him very much. He was just another petty criminal, the kind everyone expects to come to a bad end sooner or later. Is it really worth making a big deal over him?
I know that most Light mages will say ‘no’. Which means that if I want to stay part of the Council, that’s what I should be saying, too.
But do I believe it?
I’m not sure.
I sigh. Everything was so much simpler when I was a new journeyman. I’d do research in the archives, stay up late drinking with my friends, meet up with Luna and Anne to play board games in Alex’s flat. It was only a couple of years ago, but it feels like more. When did things get so complicated?
I could still go to Rain and tell him the whole story.
But I know I’m not going to. For one thing, I don’t think Rain really wants to hear the whole story. One of the things I’ve learned over the past couple of years is that when your boss sends you out to solve a problem, the last thing he wants is for you to bring home a bigger one.
And then there’s the other reason, the one I don’t say out loud but which lately I’ve been thinking about more and more. The only time anyone ever actually seems to want me around these days is when they want something. Whether it’s Rain, or Caldera, or anyone else, they’re very quick to call me in when they need my timesight. But once that’s done, it’s like they don’t even remember I exist. Luna didn’t even notice I was back.
I’m sick of putting my neck on the line for people who don’t seem to care about me. At least Barrayar offered to do something in return.
The wind’s cold. A gust makes me shiver, and I look around for a quiet spot where I can gate home to my flat. As I turn off down the street, somewhere at the back of my mind, a bit of me starts wondering what sort of favours you can ask from someone on the Senior Council.
END