by V. Theia
“You get this mean streak from your mother.” He accused.
Annie grinned. “Damn right.”
A knock sounded on the door. Gia greeted her husband with a grin and a kiss up on her tiptoes. “Hi, baby. Oh, you brought Khaleesi!” Their pup popped her gray head out of Hawk’s jacket.
“She was crying. Didn’t want her to wreck the couch.” Gia kissed her little princesses’ nose. She was such a good…rambunctious baby. Spoiled rotten too.
“Why on earth are you knocking for, son?” Chided Annie looking over at her son in law hovering in the doorway. Gia bit back a grin at Hawk’s blank look.
He was still getting used to her mother. “You just walk in, do you hear?”
“Sure, Annie.”
Hawk nodded to Gia’s dad who nodded back.
Unsure if their relationship would ever change Gia was only glad they weren’t going for each other’s throat.
“Before you go, let me give my fur grandbaby her treats.”
“You’re spoiling that dog, Annie.” Gruffed Ajax, but Gia noticed he grabbed the chicken treats before his wife could and whistled over Khalessi.
“Missed you,” Hawk whispered in her ear, arms around her waist from behind, both hands resting on her belly. Her insides flipped over.
Leaning her head back into his chest, contentment flooded her heart. This man never ceased to amaze her in his affection.
“I missed you, baby. What have you done with your day?”
“Helped Preacher polish his gift for his old lady. Worked on a V-rod.”
“How about we go home and watch some sappy Christmas movie?” He rose his brow to her and she knew he would rather have his teeth extracted without pain relief and the sweet monster he was he nodded. “Whatever you want to do. Let’s just get you home, little bit.”
He’d been jittery for weeks now, every time she stepped foot out of the house and only resumed calmness when she was safely back home with him.
She went up on her tiptoes, kissed his chin. “Okay, baby. Grab Khalessi, and we can go. I’ll get my coat.”
He scowled. “Stay there, I’ll get it. You should be sitting.”
“Listen to the boy, baby.” Annie said, packing a plastic Tupperware full of the goodies Gia knew she was sending home for Hawk.
Her man was a savage for all sweet things baked by Annie.
Once he helped her into her big white parker coat, zipping it to the chin, he even tugged up the hood like she was going out into a snow expedition. Because it helped with his anxious state she allowed him to fuss overly over her.
“Maybe we could stop in town on the way, Hawk? I have a few last Christmas things to pick up for Harper.”
Again, he frowned. “Is it really necessary?”
“Yes! It’s a dancing teddy bear. She’ll go crazy for it. It plays her favorite songs.”
“She’s only a month old. How many songs can she favor?” He gave a verbal eye roll making Gia chuckle, holding her hands out for her gloves. “She’s nearly one. Please?” Using the same tone of voice, she had on her father she knew Hawk would cave.
He always did.
Gia was truly spoiled.
He seemed to think about it for a second. She saw her dad watching them as he crunched on a gingerbread man cookie.
Annie was loving on Khalessi.
“How is your back feeling?”
“Good, baby.” Just a few twinges.
“Feet swollen?”
“Not even a bit.” Like two balloons.
More thinking. He looked at her and she grinned.
“Okay. But you have a soak in the bath and right to bed when we get home.”
“It’s a deal.”
Ajax scoffed. “She just played you.” He informed Hawk.
Her man’s face didn’t change at all, but only Gia would recognize his tiny smile under his beard. It was the smile that always illuminated her emotions.
“I know.”
“Oh, hush, both of you. It’s Christmas.”
After a round of hugs and kisses she was safely in the passenger seat, Khalessi in her doggy seat in the back.
Taking the back roads, Hawk drove slowly so she could see the festive decorations and lights.
Gia made a noise of happiness.
If someone had told her this time last year when she was still in Austin trying and failing to enjoy the holiday just a year later she’d be married, pregnant and living her best life with the love of her existence she would have assumed that person was drunk.
But here she was, and everything was better than she could have dreamed for herself.
“What has you smiling?” He asked.
“You.” She told him truthfully with a grin. “You make me happy. I’m happy we’re together for our first Christmas.”
“It’s Christmas? I couldn’t tell what with the thousands of tree lights blinding my retinas at home.” He deadpanned. Not many knew the humor her man had.
He told her to stay in the truck while he rounded the front to help her down onto the snow-covered ground.
Before he lifted her out, he brought her close to his face. Gia grinned and nuzzled his cold nose.
“I’m happy too, little bit.”
He always knew how to explode her heart.
What else did they need but this?
Each other and Christmas.
If anyone asked, Gia would tell them this was what perfect looked like.
“Forget the Griswold’s. We’re having a Marinos Christmas vacation.” – Zara
December 16th
“You need to take a break, Rider.” His old lady claimed, with that pissed off tone to her voice. It was the same shit she’d been saying for days. Only she didn’t realize all the shit he had juggling in the air.
He could just about snap at her if he wasn’t careful and it would be his own pissed off talking. Instead he took a breath and strode across the cab office to toss a pile of folders on Texas’ desk. Patched in brother and treasurer had been absent more often these days, this month especially, but he’d noticed it this past summer, how Texas took off suddenly, sometimes wasn’t in the meetings. And Rider knew he needed to chase that up and find out where the fuck he was, but it was low on his priorities.
“I need a lot of things, Zara. Taking off right now isn’t possible.”
“Yes, it is. You’re the boss. You need a break, Rider. You’re running on fumes.” She went on before he could even open his fucking trap. He knew when his old lady got in one of these snits to just shut the fuck up and listen. Otherwise he’d find himself in a full-scale argument and he was trying to avoid it at all costs. “You’re tired. Cranky. And frankly a pain in the ass, Rider.”
“Tell me how you really feel, baby.” He felt a grin stir his mouth. His ice blond queen was beautiful. His perfect woman and she doled out the truth to him often. Most times he needed to hear it, wanted to hear it, she cleared his mind when he had problems to sift through.
But he still couldn’t take time off.
Maybe in the new year.
“I mean it. Don’t joke, Rider. I don’t like seeing you stressed.”
He sighed, ran both hands through his long hair and slouched back in his leather chair, eyeing her in her white leggings and a red Rudolph sweater that hung down to her knees almost. It cupped her belly, he noticed.
“What would you have me do?”
“Delegate. You’re always on at me to do the same and I did. You didn’t get home to nearly three this morning.”
He hated having her worry about him. Seeing the tired lines around her eyes knowing she wouldn’t have settled in their bed without him there, even though her parents were only doors away, and he always had a prospect parked outside watching the house. His Icy only slept soundly nestled up against him.
Fuck. Guilt pounded his belly.
He pulled himself out of the chair and leaned down to kiss her lips.
Once.
Twice.
; And a third time.
“I love you. Harper loves you. Please slow down, if only until after the holidays. Nothing is so big it can’t wait, honey.”
He had the Russians on his back.
Still the threat of the ATF sniffing around all the MCs.
The possible implication of a snitch.
Not to mention Rex.
Then you added in his own father back in town … albeit keeping out of the way so far, and Rider’s stress level was at an all-time high.
Everything needed seeing to asap and yet, as he looked into his old lady’s palest blue eyes, seeing her upset, of course he only had one choice.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
She sighed. “Thank you.” Her smile didn’t truly reach her eyes which meant she probably didn’t believe he would do anything about it. “I know you brought my parents here to help out, but I still want to see you, Rider. You’re my big bad biker-man, remember?” She did smile then; her hands cupped his bearded face urging him to lean down which he did.
She kissed him this time. Harder.
It occurred to him maybe she wasn’t sleeping for another reason.
“How was therapy today?”
She shrugged. “It was okay.”
“Just okay?”
“Christmas time is bittersweet, honey. But I’m okay.” She tried to assure him.
He plucked her out of the chair, sat himself in it and put Zara on his lap.
“Would you tell me if you were having dreams again?”
“Rider. Yes. I swear.” Their foreheads rested together, and she tangled her fingers in the nape of his neck. He sneaked his hand beneath her sweater to rub her bump, giving his second child a greeting. He’d missed rubbing the belly cream on Zara last night. “I’m okay, I promise. I’m more worried about you stressing yourself out trying to do everything yourself. Hawk. Lawless and Preacher are all capable of taking some things off your hands.”
“I will,” he reaffirmed his promise and meant it. With her parents in town he should take a few days off from work, just so they knew their daughter wasn’t hooked up to a neglectful deadbeat.
“You got Christmas crap to do today?”
Her face shone bright.
“I need to wrap the gifts. Gia and Hawk are taking Harper over to your parents, my folks are going into town to Pastor Danny’s carol service, I asked Ruby to go with them. So, I thought I’d make my special white hot-chocolate to go with your mom’s candy cane pinwheel cookies and I’d put on a movie in front of the fire. Do you fancy cutting and curling all the ribbons for me?”
The way she smiled made it impossible to say no to her.
All the Christmas crap; bows, trees, figs, gift wrapping, was her thing and she loved it, so Rider never complained.
He could hold ribbon for her if it made Zara happy.
He nodded, lips to hers.
She purred and pressed in closer.
This was life. He thought.
Sitting on his lap, happy he was going to hold her fucking ribbons.
This was life.
He smiled and kissed her again.
December 17th
“Oh. Hawk, hi.” It was almost instinctual for Zara to hastily back out of a room if Hawk was the only one in it. Not because she feared him. The initial fear soon evaporated, but she knew he wasn’t comfortable around her just yet and she didn’t want to push him into a situation. Gia confirmed it truly wasn’t personal to her and to give him time.
She smiled at his stare.
She knew now he wasn’t being rude. It was just his face.
But leaving him alone in the MC kitchen was not going to work, not when she was already behind on the decoration duties. Organizing a holiday party for so many was possibly out of her realm of capabilities. Thank god for the other girls helping her.
“I won’t disturbed you but for a minute while I grab something,” she told him advancing in.
“What do you need?”
“Something to snack on before I faint.”
His brows drew in and he skated his eyes over her down to her big belly.
“Sit, girl.” He plopped the sandwich he’d been making onto a paper plate and placed it on the table near her. “Sit.”
“You’re giving me food?” Eyes wide. It was a holiday miracle he wasn’t rushing out as he usually would.
He didn’t reply. Only turned to make another for himself, she presumed.
She sat. And she ate. Grateful to be off her feet for a few minutes. Rider would go crazy if he knew how tired she was feeling. “Thank you, this is great.”
Hawk grunted with his back to her.
When she was satisfyingly full, she pushed the plate away, not even a crumb to be seen. “Thanks again,” Zara smiled. Not even sure he was listening to her. “Organizing a party is hungry work. I ought to get back and see to the decorations.”
“Get the prospects to help.” He said it so low it took Zara a second to realize he was speaking to her.
“Oh. Yeah, for sure. I have two of them picking up trees right now and some of the girls are doing the high decorations, so I don’t have to climb.”
He grunted.
This never happened. A semi-conversation with Rider’s best friend and VP never happened and it left Zara somewhat perplexed, giddy, and a tiny bit terrified. She’d wanted to say so much to Hawk for a long time, but with no gateway into a conversation she hadn’t found her opportunity.
“You know … you’re my brother in law now, right?”
That had his head coming up fast, but otherwise Hawk didn’t say anything. He propped against the kitchen counter. Didn’t look to be in a rush to leave.
“I’m so glad our babies will be raised together. I hope they’ll be good friends. I think Rider is hoping for a son and a nephew, so he can buy them matching little leather Renegade jackets.” Oh, my god, she was rambling.
“You don’t have to be nervous,” he said.
“I’m not. It’s just—”
“I’m a prick, girl.” Zara could hear his verbal eyeroll and nearly giggled. He wasn’t much different to how she’d first met him. Quiet. Solitary. Little did Zara know not too far in the future from that day he would be her brother in law.
Also, the man who saved her life.
And killed his own brother for her.
“You don’t have to be nervous around me. It was never about you, okay? I never disliked you.”
Oh, wow. Honesty hour. Relief made her smile and nod at him.
She had wondered for a long time if Hawk hated Rider’s choice in a partner.
She assumed he didn’t think her strong enough to stand at the side of a man like Rider.
He’d called her queen once and she’d held onto that tightly in hopes one day they could be friendly.
“Was it… is it…” she paused.
“Ask me, girl.”
“I thought you hated me because of what you did for me. With Hades.”
The name brought the only reaction she’d seen from Hawk in the few minutes in his company. His forehead puckered, and his corner lip curled with distaste.
“You don’t need to be thinking about him.”
“But I do.” She confessed taking in a lungful of air. “I see it every day and I don’t want you to hate me because I was too weak to kill him myself.”
Hawk made a snort noise. “I would have killed him for free, so don’t worry about it.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Even now you know he was… he was your…?”
“Yeah. Even now, girl. He was a piece of shit who needed to die.”
“I think he knew about you.” She confessed in a rush of words leaving her mouth. There was no surprise on Hawk’s face. Not that she expected it.
Inside her belly the baby tumbled around, giving her the sense of peace that always calmed her nerves if she got to a point where the past strangled her thoughts. It didn’t happen often now, not with the coping exercises from her therapist, and Ride
r paid the woman enough that she was always on call 24-7 for an emergency session either in person or over the phone.
“I would hear him sometimes ranting about a brother and how he would get payback on him. I assumed at the time he meant one of his club brothers.”
Hawk snorted again. “I hope it was me. How did that work out for the fucker?”
Zara grinned suddenly which turned into a giggle she covered with her hand.
It should be wicked to ever be gleeful about someone’s death, but she was past feeling guilty for things that were not her fault.
“It’s funny really.” She commented soberly. “How we’re all connected. I’m so glad you were there, Hawk. I know you hated me saying thank you, but I’m only here today with my little ones and Rider because of you. It’s not something I will ever forget. I owe you my life.”
There was a period of silence and it went on and on and Zara didn’t know if she’d spoken too much or out of turn or if she should just go and never darken his kitchen doorstep ever again.
She wanted to be friends, not enemies who could only stare at each other.
“This is how I see it, girl.” He spoke making her jump.
Tall and braced against the counter, with his legs crossed at the ankle and his arms behind him, Hawk appeared to be every inch the feared man people knew him to be. Only, because of Rider, because of Gia, because of the selfless act he’d done for her, she knew he had layers to him.
“Say I’d never killed him. Rider would have lost you. He would have gone off the rails, big time. Drinking, drugs, maybe a score of women,” Zara scowled. Her ghost would have haunted him. “All to mask his pain. As his best friend and second in command I would have been at his side doing the same with him to keep him alive. And in that case, I never would have gotten my chance with Gia.”
Oh.
Ohhh.
“We all would have taken different paths.”
Holy Disney on Ice.
Hawk was throwing out some major fate shit and Zara’s mouth dropped open.
He shrugged as if what he was saying didn’t have the same effect on him as it did her racing heart. But he was right.
All their lives were intertwined along the way.
The good and the bad.