by LJ Byrne
Lance has me try on a few different outfits for my evening performance. I choose a gray wool gown with white detailing and pair it with a cape – at least I won’t need to worry about being thrown in a lake – with a faux fur hood. I’d rather be warm than be dressed in something pretty.
Mercifully, the weather cooperates, and I get some time to practice before arriving for the countdown. It’s cold, but it’s not snowing when I go up to perform two songs an hour before the ball drop. My first song is from my latest album titled “Hope”. When I get to “I’ll Forgive You”, which I released yesterday as a single, I’m surprised to find so many in the audience singing along with me. I struggle to contain my emotions as I finish the last few lines.
Lance gets me away from the stage as soon as I’m done. There’s a whole convoluted process where I change into street clothes somewhere private, Lance collects my costume, and I walk out a few blocks to a car that will take me to a hotel carrying nothing more than an overnight bag.
Lucas: Your driver knows which hotel to send you to. I cleared it with Lance. Go to the front desk and give them your name.
I stare at my phone in complete confusion. But when I send an inquiry back to him, Lucas doesn’t reply. I hope Lance remembers that I refuse to spend egregious amounts of money on a hotel. When the car drops me off, I stare at the hotel in confusion. This does not look like modest accommodations.
A bellhop approaches me, and I expect him to encourage me to move along. “Elena Kano?” he asks respectfully, not seeming to mind my jeans and sweatshirt attire.
I’m escorted to the top floor of the hotel, and the bellhop just smiles at me when I express confusion, which clears when I see Lucas leaning in the entrance to the Presidential Suite.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper, watching him tip the bellhop.
Lucas closes the door behind us, giving me a smug look. He’s wearing his customary dark jacket and slacks, but the top few buttons of his shirt are undone. He runs a hand through his blond hair and that’s when I notice the bruise by his eye and some marks at his throat. “We have fifteen minutes before the ball drop. Your performance was…good. Moving,” he comments as we step further into the suite. “This is a two-bedroom suite. I gave you the master suite.”
“Wait, what? You got this room, for me—us, I mean.” I’m having trouble connecting my thoughts. “What are you doing here? And what happened to your face? Were you in another fight?”
Lucas’s face darkens a little as he pours me some sparkling water. “Let’s see. One, yes, I got this room for you because I wanted to. Two, I’m here because I’d rather be with you than with my father. And three, yes, I was in a fight.” His mouth tightens a little.
“Over a girl?”
“Yes. The same girl, in fact.” He comes over to brush my hair back. “You.” His eyes focus on his fingers entwined in my hair. “It was over you.”
“Why me?”
“No secrets, right?” Lucas moves to look out the window at the city lights. “My father doesn’t like you. Last year, when Vanessa started the bet about you, he wasn’t happy with the way I intervened because it wasn’t in line with Club rules. He knew threatening you would get me to heel. And it did for a while. But not anymore. Listening to him won’t protect you. I told him over Christmas that I had no intention of letting Vanessa get away with what she did. He disagreed.”
I feel like my heart stops for a moment. “He hurts you,” I say slowly in realization. “He bullies you emotionally and physically. Lucas—”
“Pretty pathetic, don’t you think?” He smiles mockingly at his reflection in the glass. “How can I protect you if I can’t protect myself against my father?”
In your world, Lucas, the way you help is the same as the way you hurt. You perpetuate this cycle of abuse in every action of yours. I now realize why my words last year bothered him so much.
“You shouldn’t have to defend yourself against your father.” I stand beside him looking out at the city. “Besides, I’m not damsel-in-distress material. Unless I’m being chained to a weight underwater.”
Lucas doesn’t smile at my comment. “That was the worst moment of my life, Elena.” Gently turning me to face me, he cups my cheek gently.
“You haven’t lived very long.”
“There are very few things I care about, Elena.” His jaw tightens as fear – genuine terror – shadows his eyes, but he doesn’t avert his gaze. His voice is painfully steady as he continues. “It took forever to get to the water. When my hand touched your body, you were limp. If you hadn’t survived… I don’t know what I would have done.”
We stand quietly, looking at each other, as it turns midnight without the world shattering. “Happy New Year,” I whisper to Lucas.
He runs a finger down my cheek. “Happy New Year, Elena,” he breathes, leaning in as if to kiss me.
“I can’t stay here. This room is too expensive,” I blurt.
Lucas lifts a brow. “Just think, you’re saving money that will go to your charities by making me pay for it.”
“Is there a cost to me that isn’t financial?”
A shrug. “The pleasure of your company.” When I’m silent, he adds in a carefully casual voice, “There’s a swimsuit in your room. Put it on. I asked the staff to let us use the hot tub on the roof. Just us, no other hotel guests.” The look in his eyes challenges me to defy him.
So, I don’t. “Fine.”
I end up regretting my words because the damn swimsuit is a two-piece. It isn’t a hideously skin-exposing bikini. Halter top with boy shorts. When I meet up with Lucas, a robe covering my swimsuit, he smirks at me. “Do I make BSGirl nervous?”
He laughs when I give him the finger as we head up to the rooftop. Sure enough, the hotel is equipped with a heated pool and a hot tub.
I slip my robe off, shivering in the cold air, and hop into the hot tub, trying to ignore Lucas’s watching my every move. Right before I sink into the warm water, Lucas traces the scar at my waist with his thumb. “I’ll never forgive myself,” he whispers.
I step to the side and lower myself into the water. I look up at the dark skies. The lights of the city are so bright that you don’t see as many stars as you do at Highbury.
“I could get used to hot tubs on cold nights,” I remark.
“Careful. Once you get used to one luxury, you want more.”
I try not to jump when I find him sitting next to me. “I never thanked you for saving me,” I find myself saying.
Lucas’s eyes shutter and I puzzle over his reaction until he speaks. “Don’t. Don’t thank me. Not after what I did that day.” He glances away, swallowing. “Is redemption possible, Elena?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
“You’re not with that asshole Jasper. At least not exclusively.” Lucas cocks his head at me. “He likes you. A lot. But you’re not dating him.”
“I’m not. It’s complicated. Relationships—are messy.”
“You’re still hiding.” Lucas turns my face towards him with wet fingers. “Life is messy.”
“First of all, Jasper has never asked me out. He’s just asked me to marry him,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “He’s been a good friend. He’s never hurt me. He’s never lied to me, as far as I know.”
Lucas drops his hand, lowering his head so that a lock of blond hair covers his forehead. There’s a bitterness to his words when he speaks. “I suppose that’s true. First, you picked Brock. Now you’ve picked Jasper.”
“I never picked Brock other than as a date,” I say in exasperation. “I picked him because it was safe. Because I knew that I would have an okay time without feeling the pressure of wanting it to be more. My relationship with Japer is complicated.” Suddenly I lurch upright. “And what’s up with all of you and Ashley? First, she was with you. Then Ben. Then Brock. “
Lucas swallows. “That time you saw me with Ashley… I didn’t have sex with her in case you were wondering. When I saw your f
ace, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’s when I knew that you weren’t a curiosity. I haven’t touched another girl since.”
My cheeks feel hot. That might fall into TMI category. “I wasn’t wondering,” I say, completely mortified. I press my hands to my cheeks. “You know, some things are best not discussed.”
“Do you mean everything you say in your songs? Because if that’s the case, it sounds a lot like you’ll never forgive me for all the crap I put you through.”
“That’s not the real question you’re asking,” I say reflectively. “You’re asking if you’re worthy – worthy of forgiveness, worthy of friendship, worthy of love. That’s what happens when you’re bullied, Lucas. You don’t think you’re worth anything to anyone.” I sink a bit into the water. “I thought the same for a while.” I close my eyes.
Lucas grabs my hands as he stands before me. I open my eyes and tilt my head back to look at him – the mark on his cheek and neck a stark reminder of his father’s cruelty. “I’m selfish and stubborn. You asked why I’m here? The truth then. I’m here because I don’t want to let you go and I don’t know how to walk away. I’m here because I’m in love with you and have been for some time. So, if you don’t want me here, tell me to go away. Tell me to walk away. But don’t tell me you’re only with me right now out of pity or gratitude.”
My eyes widen at his declaration. “I don’t do pity and gratitude, Lucas. What happens if I don’t tell you to walk away?”
“Then you better get used to me being around.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
He leans in with a question in his eyes. “You picked Brock because he was – safe? What does that make me?”
“The less safe choice. You were always a less safe choice.” I give him honesty. “It’s why I wasn’t ready to pick you.”
He presses my hand to his chest, letting me feel the pounding of his heart. “I want to know if there’s a chance that I’m worthy.”
I take a long time to answer. “I’m not sure. I want to think so.”
The first kiss we exchange is slow and tentative – a fragile bridge forming between the two of us. The second is surer.
CHAPTER 9
The cracks begin the moment school resumes. The former Elite boys, now backed by Jasper, confront Vanessa at the Elites’ table in the dining hall. The massive shout fest evolves into pushing and some verbal threats that the staff ignores since I’m not involved. The Inner Circle is torn between the two groups, but I could care less about the Inner Circle right now. They’ll turn when a new leader arises. I’m interested in all the students who’ve been ostracized for not being rich or powerful enough to enter the Elites’ social circles.
“I deserved it,” Brock tells me during Music. “To lose my record deal. I took everything for granted. And I was wrong to say what I did. I hurt people. I even hurt a cousin of mine.”
We’re in Spark Hall listening to a student play her flute composition. Jasper’s yawning and I kick his leg to wake him up a little.
“You’ll get another deal,” Jasper says with feigned interest.
“Right now, agents won’t touch me after my comments and my father won’t speak to me,” Brock says morosely, closing his eyes. “Not that he spoke to me before.”
I consider this and my plans shift in my head again.
Brock crosses his arms with a resentful look at Jasper. “You like her, too, don’t you? You uploaded that video to impress Elena.”
Jasper shrugs elegantly, his cyan eyes drifting lazily over me.
Brock rubs his neck wearily. “After Christmas, my father asked about you, Elena.” Brock looks queasy.
Jasper leans over to speak to Brock. “He’ll stay away from Elena. If you’re any kind of man, you’ll gut him yourself if he tries to touch her. And if touches her again, I will hurt him.” When I thwack him with my pencil and warn him to stop being so dramatic, Jasper grins. “As you wish. It is this irreverence of yours that makes me so persistent.”
“Do you like that?” Brock breathes his question, pointing my face towards him with a hand. “Because I can do persistent. Elena, I know I screwed up—” He breaks off. “I’m ashamed of what I did, and I know I was wrong. It shouldn’t have taken nearly losing you to make me realize that.”
“I’m not the same person I was last year, Brock.” I remove his hand from my chin and level him with a stare. “There are no second chances. I’ve forgiven you, but I will never forget your actions. If you betray me as a friend – it won’t be just Jasper who comes after you.” I hear him catch his breath as his green eyes widen. I stand up to look down at him.
He wants forgiveness but playing with a person’s life should never be fun and games. That’s where he went wrong. Last year, I separated myself from the world. Now, I’m going to own the world. I guess I’m my father’s daughter, after all.
As we walk to the dining hall, I hear a familiar shriek. I find Vanessa Valentino screaming at a first-year student for some infraction.
“That’s enough,” I snap, standing in front of the younger student. “Leave her alone.”
Vanessa would be a lot prettier if she would smile more often. Instead, she starts screaming at me like a banshee. “Don’t talk to me, you gutter whore!” She raises her hand to slap me.
Jasper swiftly grabs her wrist, twisting it painfully in a single move. “Sheathe those claws, and don’t disrespect my princess,” he says in a pleasantly cold voice. “You see, I’m the black sheep of my family. I have no issues with striking a lady. Or something that looks female, anyway.” He releases her wrist with a smile.
Vanessa scowls, rubbing her wrist.
When Kiana steps forward with two Inner Circle girls, Brock snarls at them. “Don’t even think about it, Kiana. I will gladly take you out.”
I tell the first-year student to get to class. “You may think you’re an Elite, but you’re not,” I say flatly to Vanessa and Kiana. “Your behavior is hideous. I won’t tolerate it and I won’t let you hurt people because they won’t kowtow to you.”
“You’re standing with her?” Kiana demands in disgust. “Brock, you’re a fucking Elite—”
“No, I’m not. I’m no Elite. I’m a student here – same as her,” he says, pointing to me, “and same as you.”
Katrina appears by my side and I see her glance to where Ben Summers, Thomas Carver, and Scott Bass are rushing to join Vanessa. A cruel look crosses Vanessa’s face.
“You boys are replaceable,” Vanessa tries to say in a sultry way.
Mason grabs Ben Summers from behind and slams him into a wall. Lucas arrives, his face dark with fury. Lucas swiftly grabs Thomas by the throat, his hand tightening quickly. “You take a step towards Elena, Thomas, and I won’t stop until I’ve broken every bone in your body. You and Ben won’t touch her again or I will kill you,” he says quietly, his gray eyes growing dangerously cold. He nods at Mason, who throws Ben to the ground, before digging his fingers into Thomas’s throat viciously before releasing him. “I won’t sully the ground Elena walks on by making you bleed here.”
Scott Bass glances nervously at the Elite girls. “Why are the Elite boys siding with her, Vanessa?”
“That’s none of your business!” she yells him.
“Be aware of who you’re associating with, Scott,” Katrina warns him. “They’re cowards. Rather than dealing with a person face-to-face, they think nothing about trying to drown someone in a lake.”
“You’re siding with her, Lucas?” Vanessa’s face is filled with cunning. “Are you sure about that?”
Lucas gets right in her face. “I’ve never been surer. More so, I’m done. Done with the Elite identity. If you touch her again, I will make you regret you ever met me. I don’t care if it means I’m destroyed or ruined. She’s more than we’ll ever be. She’s my queen.” He glances at me.
Vanessa gasps. “You’re going to put this trailer trash on a pedestal? Are you fucking insane?”
“I’m not
the one that tries to burn people in sheds. I don’t drug people’s drinks before sending them off with a rapist. And I definitely don’t tie people up and throw them into lakes.” Lucas grabs Vanessa by the arms, his face cruel. “You’re a psychopath. You’ve tarnished the school’s reputation. You’ve destroyed what being an Elite means. You don’t deserve to be anything.” He thrusts her away from him so hard that she falls on top of Ben.
“You’ll regret this.” Vanessa’s eyes are raging as Ben steadies her.
“I’ll never regret my choice,” Lucas says, “but if you don’t back down, I won’t stop until I have your bloody head.”
Vanessa huffs, gesturing to her groupies to follow her. I notice how Scott Bass parts from the group and walks alone.
We grab Bruce and Charles and enter the dining hall together. Katrina and I have our arms linked, but no one is walking ahead or holding doors open. We take over the Elites’ table and the hall goes quiet as we sit without ceremony. When Vanessa enters with her entourage, she has enough Inner Circle members flanking her to use brute force. I note the positions of the staff members in the dining hall as she comes up to confront me. I meet her halfway, fully aware that Lucas and Jasper are not far behind me.
“Careful, Vanessa. Kiana just got dining hall privileges back,” I say, smiling like we’re having a nice conversation. The staff is on full alert.
Vanessa shrieks and stomps her expensive shoes. “Get me something to eat!” she screams at Ben before walking out the door.
When I return to the table, Mason relaxing slightly as I sit next to Katrina, Charles grins. “All hail Queen Elena.”