by Lexi Wilson
Over time, I became resentful and while I felt terrible about feeling that way about someone I had once so deeply cared for that was in a life or death situation, I couldn't help but feel that we didn’t have to be at that place. We could have been happy and carefree, living our lives together if Brett could have just stepped back even a little from his career. But he couldn't, and I had a hard time believing he could step away a hundred percent now. I hoped for it to be true, but was it too little, too late for us?
Chapter 13
Brett
One of the first things I did after seeing Evie was book myself an appointment for a haircut and a shave. I had worn my hair longer for a lot of years but being held captive with no showers and no brushing had made it a disheveled mess, no matter how hard I tried to make it appear presentable. I had never been to one before, so I decided to make an appointment at a men’s grooming salon.
After the consultation about my hair and then a haircut that included a shampoo massage, I sat down for a seven-step facial shave that went all out with hot towel prep, deep cleansing, moisturizer, aftershave, and essential oils. Four plus months of being a prisoner had left me with a bushy, untamed beard, but after a professional shave, I had a neatly trimmed beard that was mysteriously ginger despite my brown hair.
When I left the salon, I headed out to buy some new clothes. I was still thin from captivity and working to put a little weight back on but was sick of everything I owned being too baggy. I wanted something nice to wear to Hannah’s play, so it was as good a time as any to replace the clothes in my wardrobe.
When I got home, I changed into the dress slacks and button up shirt I had purchased and then appraised myself in the mirror. There was a small scar over my right eye that my parents were convinced I should see a plastic surgeon about, but I didn't think it was so bad. It was a reminder to me of the time I had spent captured, of the time away from my family, and the promises I had made myself to make it home and prove myself to Evie.
After I was satisfied with my appearance, I went looking to find my parents. My parents had a pool house out back that I was staying in. It was weird being an adult and living back at home, but it was my only option after returning home from Syria. I couldn't fathom though living in my childhood bedroom, and they were nice enough to let me live out there, so I had a little bit of independence. Still, though, it would be nice to have my own space further away from them, so they could not hover, but I didn’t want to start looking and sign a lease for someplace I wasn’t going to stay at since it was my intention to prove myself to Evie and win her back.
“Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?” my mom asked.
I loved my parents, and I was blessed that they were willing to let me move home, but living at home at nearly thirty-seven was not what I had in mind for my life. I definitely had not counted on them worrying over me like I was ten again.
“I'm good, mom,” I answered.
She reached out and patted my cheek. “This is nice. I'm glad you shaved that beard down. You look so handsome again.”
“Thanks,” I smiled. “Where's dad?”
“Finishing getting ready. He should be down in just a minute.”
I nodded. “I'm going to go ahead and start the car.”
“Okay,” she nodded. “We’ll be out in just a second.”
They joined me a few moments later, and we made the drive to the charter school Evie taught at and Hannah attended. We followed the others arriving at the school's auditorium. I let my parents lead us to a set of seats. It took some time to reach them as people in our community kept stopping me to welcome me home. I smiled politely and thanked them for their thoughts and kind wishes.
When we finally reached our seats, I sank into the seat with a sigh. I took a moment to look around the room, trying to appear casual, but the truth was that I was searching for Evie.
As I’m scanning the crowd for her, my eyes fell on Matthew. I frowned at the sight of him, and the frown deepened when Evie made her way down the row and sat beside him. My blood boiled when I saw his arm snake around her shoulders and give her a squeeze. He kissed her hair, and I wanted to rip his lips off his face.
I breathed in deeply and exhaled, trying to calm myself down. I don't want to be jealous, but I am. I wanted to excuse myself and run out, but I reminded myself that I was there for Hannah, and Hannah had to be my priority.
I wanted Evie to be beside me for this, for Hannah to see us as a family, but I would bide my time instead. I hadn't given her what she needed; I understood that now, and I guess she had found that with someone else. She deserved that. It didn't mean that made it hurt any less. All I could ask for was to be a part of Hannah's life, and I would have to prove myself and my love to Evie.
The house lights lowered, and the play started. My smile spread from ear to ear watching Hannah, and when the play ended, I was on my feet clapping and cheering. Slowly the kids in the performance started trickling out to their waiting parents. I waited with my parents off to the side, so I could see Hannah.
When she walked out from behind the curtain, Hannah was all smiles. She started towards Evie, who had Matthew by her side, but then she spotted me and made a beeline in my direction.
“Daddy!” she exclaimed as she ran to me. I picked her up in a hug and squeezed her.
“You were wonderful, Hannah Banana.”
“Come meet my friends, Daddy!” She grabbed my hand and used all the force she could muster in her little body and tugged me forward.
“No, baby, you go, I'll be right here waiting.”
“Daddy,” she begged, and I relented. I let her lead me towards her friends, and she introduced me to all of them. I tried to make my way back out of the crowd to wait, but Hannah pulled me with her towards Evie.
I saw Evie tense and Matthew touched her arm, which made her relax, and it made me pause. My steps slowed, and Hannah turned to look up at me.
I stooped down to her level. “I need to get going, baby, but we’ll see each other soon, okay?”
Her lip quivered. “When will I see you, Daddy?”
It killed me to see the look on her face, and I hated what I was about to say, but I didn't have a choice. “That's up to your mommy, sweetie.” It was hard to say the words out loud, but it had been in the divorce papers; Evie had custody of Hannah. I had agreed to that and I now wished I hadn’t. It also made me realize that Evie and I had to sit down one on one and figure this out, sooner rather than later.
I heard Evie sigh, and I looked up at her. “Why don’t you come to dinner with us, Brett,” she suggested.
I could tell by the look in her eye that it was not her first choice to invite me and the happy smile she pasted on told me that this was all for appearances. But I would take anything. “I would love to,” I answered.
“We’re going to the pizza place in town Hannah likes,” she told me. I nodded, knowing the one.
“I will meet you there.”
She nodded curtly. “Say goodbye to your friends, Hannah,” she said to our daughter. Hannah waved and called out goodbye and walked in between Evie and Matthew out of the auditorium. I watched them go and felt a longing inside me.
My dad stepped up beside me. “You okay, son?” he asked quietly.
“I’m good,” I answered him tightly.
“Evie’s parents can give us a ride home, so you can take the car.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“No problem. We will see you later.”
Evie’s parents joined us, and they each hugged me before we all walked outside together. I waved to them as I drove off and made my way to the pizza place. When I got there the parking lot was packed, and I had a tough time finding a place to park but a space opened up, and I pulled into it. I headed inside, scanning the crowd to find Evie. I spotted Matthew first, and he lifted his hand and waved at me with a friendly smile. His movements caught Evie’s attention, and she looked up at me, quickly looking away and pulling his hand down, whisperi
ng to him. He whispered back to her, and again I pushed my jealousy down.
“Hey,” I greeted them when I reached them.
“Daddy, sit by me!” Hannah exclaimed.
“Of course, baby,” I answered, taking the seat beside her.
“We already ordered a couple pies,” Matthew told me. “I hope cheese and pepperoni are good for you.”
“Sounds great,” I told him.
Evie asked Matthew something about school then, and as they talked, I was able to figure out that Matthew was also a teacher at Evie’s school. It sounded like they even had classrooms next to each other and it felt like a little bit more of the puzzle fell into place. Hannah started telling me about all the things she was learning in school, and when our food arrived, she continued to tell me about school. Matthew and Evie added background to some of the things she spoke of, but for the most part, I just listened to my daughter tell me about her.
Shortly after we finished eating, Evie stood. “Hannah, we need to be going. It’s getting late, and you still need a bath before bed.”
“Can Daddy come home with us?” she asked.
“No, baby, Daddy has his own home.”
“Daddy should be home with us,” she pouted.
“Hannah, please don’t start,” Evie sighed.
“We’ll see each other soon, Hannah Banana,” I told her. “Maybe this weekend you can come to grandma’s and stay the weekend. If that’s okay with your mom.”
“We’ll see,” Evie allowed. “Come on, Hannah, let’s go.”
“Bye, Daddy,” she said sadly as she hugged me tightly.
I kissed her cheek. “I’ll fix this, I promise,” I whispered in her ear. I stood and looked over at Evie. “Can we talk for a second?”
“Can you put Hannah in the car for me?” she asked Matthew.
“Sure. Come on, Hannah,” he said, offering his hand to my little girl, who went along with him happily.
“What do you want, Brett?” Evie asked.
“No reason to be hostile, Evie. I just wanted to talk.”
“Then talk.”
I sighed. “I was just hoping that the two of us could sit down in the next couple of days and talk about custody. I’d like to see Hannah more often. I’m going to be home for the foreseeable future, and I thought we could work out some sort of schedule together.”
“Fine, I’ll call you,” she replied before she hurried out of the restaurant. I watched her go and waited for her car to pull away before I walked outside myself. I drove around for a little while before I made my way to my parents. I let myself into the house as quietly as I could and made my way to my bedroom. I took off my clothes and hung them in the closet before lying down on the bed. It was killing me inside not to be at home with Hannah and Evie and thoughts of Matthew spending time with my girls instead of me wouldn’t leave me be. I had to find a way to prove myself, and fast.
Chapter 14
Evie
Three days passed after Hannah’s play, and I still couldn't get the image of Brett out of my mind. Although he was skinnier than I remembered, he looked better than ever. His hair was cut and styled, his beard, which he had never worn before, was trimmed and sexy. He had a small scar over his eye, and although it was a reminder of the pain he had endured in captivity, it was also really hot. I blamed my pregnancy hormones for the dreams that left me wanting every morning when I woke up.
I called the lawyer who handled our uncontested divorce and made an appointment to see him to draft a custody agreement. I did not want to see Brett without a plan and papers already in place. I made arrangements with the school for a substitute and then texted Matthew to fill him on what I was planning to do.
Got a sub for my class today. Can you check in and make sure the kids are doing their work for me?
You got it. You feeling okay?
I’m fine. I need to meet with my lawyer and figure out a custody agreement that I think Brett will agree too. I want to get it done and behind me.
For Hannah?
Yes.
What about the baby?
He doesn't know the baby is his so there is no custody to work out.
You’ve gotta tell him, Ev. And soon. It’s only a matter of time before he figures it out.
Well, I’m kinda hoping it will still be awhile for that. Do you think you could bring Hannah home for me today?
Of course.
I’ll let her teacher know, thanks.
Just think about telling him, okay?
Okay. Talk soon!
I put my phone aside and rounded up Hannah for breakfast and then to get dressed. I dropped her off at school and then made my way to the lawyer’s office. His receptionist greeted me kindly and had me take a seat in the lobby to wait. After about ten minutes he came out to greet me and then escorted me back to his office.
“So, what can I do for you, Evie?” he asked once we were both seated.
“I’d like to come up with a proposed custody agreement for my ex and me for our daughter, Hannah. He’s home again, and he wants to see her, but I would feel more comfortable if we had some sort of signed agreement between us. I am hoping you can help me put something together this morning.”
He nodded. “Of course, of course. How is Mr. Capal doing?”
“He seems well. I haven't seen him but a couple of times.”
“I see. So, do you have any ideas in mind for the custody arrangement?”
“I was thinking he could have Hannah every other weekend.”
“Mmm-hmm, good, good,” he nodded as he scribbled notes down. “What about during the week?”
“I don’t want to disrupt her routines. School is very important.”
“It is, but do you think Mr. Capal would be capable of helping Hannah with her schoolwork, and getting her back and forth to school?”
“Yes.”
“I think it is something you should consider. Even just one day a week is good. It lets Hannah know that both of you are involved with her education.”
“I guess we could try one day a week and see how it goes.”
“And would that be on some sort of rotating basis or the same day every week?”
“Maybe Wednesday?”
He nodded and made more notes. “Give me just a minute,” he said before beginning to type away on his computer. When he was satisfied with what he had written, he printed it out and handed me a copy. “Read this over, let me know if I need to make any changes. If you’re satisfied with it, then you can take it with you. If you have changes, we can make them.”
I took the papers from him and began to read through them, taking my time to consider every detail. On every other Friday, Brett would pick Hannah up at school or I would drop her off at his home. He would have her for the weekend but would need to take her to any sports or other commitments she might have during his weekend. On Sunday evening, he would return her to my house at seven. On every Wednesday, Brett would pick Hannah up from school and have full responsibility for her, including ensuring she completed any school work or attended any activities she might be involved in. He would then take her to school the next morning. In the summer, he would pick her up in the morning and bring her back to me the following morning.
There was an alternating schedule for holidays, and I would have her for Christmas one year and then Thanksgiving the next year, swapping back and forth. It allowed for us to make changes to the schedule as we agreed and stipulated that Brett would continue to keep Hannah on his insurance. It also gave an amount of child support for him to pay. I grabbed a pen from the desk and crossed out the number, writing down a new number and handed it back to the lawyer.
He looked over my change and then back at me. “This is really low,” he started.
“I don’t need as much as you put in there. I don’t want to feel like I owe Brett my survival. I can manage on my own but help with some of Hannah’s activities would be nice. And it still leaves a little to apply toward the utilities at the house
.”
“If that’s what you want...”
“It’s what I want.”
He made the changes and handed me the papers. I stood and held my hand out towards him. “Thank you for everything.”
“Please let me know if we can be of any additional service.”
“I will.”
I collected my things and headed out of the office for my car. I pulled my phone out of my purse and called Brett.
“Evie?” he answered.
“Hey, can I stop by?”
“Sure, I’m at home.”
“I’ll see you in about five minutes.”
I hung up before he could reply and pulled out of the parking lot, pointing my car in the direction of Brett’s parents’ house. When I reached my destination, I parked in their driveway and made my way to the front door. I rang the doorbell and waited for Brett to answer. To my surprise, it was Brett’s mom that pulled the door open.
“Evie, what a surprise! How are you,” she said as she ushered me inside.
“I’m fine, thank you. I came to see Brett.”
“Oh, he’s staying in the pool house. You know the way.”
“I do, thank you.” I smiled politely and made my way to the back of the house to let myself into the backyard. Brett’s family had been one of the first in town to put in a swimming pool, and I spent many of my summers in that pool. They had also built a pool house, which was essentially a guesthouse as it included two small bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a living room. It had been meant as a place for people to change in private, but it had become where Mrs. Capal kicked us teenagers out to when we were in high school, so she could have calm and quiet in her house. At one point while we were in college, they had thought that Brett’s grandparents might move in there but that never happened. Now it had become Brett’s space.