Sand-Man's Family

by CJane Elliott

  “Oh, shut up. She’s no more a ho than any of us in St. Ignatius. Bad little sexually active Catholic kids. She’s actually really cool.” He and Brittany had plans to see each other when he was home, but something about Jade’s expression made him decide not to mention that.

  “Hmm.” Jade studied his nails. “So they found out you weren’t a virgin, and that’s why you ran? Seems extreme.”

  “No, dude.” Sandy almost laughed at Jade’s face at being called a dude. “After they busted me about Brittany, I left Out magazine in my room for my prying mother to find. I figured they might as well know all of it.”

  Jade stiffened and sat up. “But… ‘all of it’? Why? I mean, I thought our thing was an experiment.”

  “It was. And I liked it.” Sandy felt his cheeks flush as he saw Jade’s do the same.

  “Oh, well.” Jade gave a dismissive wave. “Every guy likes his cock sucked. Doesn’t mean you’re gay or anything.”

  “Right. I’m not gay.”

  Jade slumped against the cushions with an air of weary resignation.

  “Yep. I knew it. God, curious straight boys will be the death of—”

  “I’m bi.”

  Jade stiffened again. Sandy mused that Jade looked like a marionette, the way he kept slouching and then straightening to attention.

  “Are you, now?” Jade asked in an Irish accent.

  Sandy laughed and tried to match it. “Faith and begorra, that I am.”

  “You sure? I mean, I know I’m good enough to dazzle a guy into thinking something about his sexuality, but—”

  “I’m sure, Jade. I had a boyfriend in Portland. But I’m also still attracted to girls. Women. Whatever you’re supposed to call ’em. I talked to Cody about it when I met him on the train. He’s bi too. He told me not to worry about putting myself in a box.” Sandy paused when he saw Jade staring at him like he had two heads. “What?”

  “You? A boyfriend? Sandy Nixon—Mr. Athletics, class president, and altar boy?” Jade fanned his face. “I’m sorry, I’m finding this hard to believe.”

  “Yeah. I guess most people from Rockford would.” Sandy bit his lip and looked out the train window. Sometimes he still had a twinge of Catholic guilt over how far he’d strayed from his upbringing. He glanced over to find Jade regarding him, eyebrows drawn together.

  “Is that why you left?”

  “Kind of. My parents blew a gasket and told me I couldn’t go to U of C.”

  “You got in to University of Chicago? Oh my God! And fuck them for not letting you go!”

  “Exactly. They wanted me to go to some religious school and then started talking about one of those ‘pray away the gay’ camps.” Sandy felt himself begin to tremble and took a breath. “Then Dad socked me, and I was done with their crap.”

  “My God. Fuck your fucking dad twice over. I’m sorry, doll.”

  Sandy could only nod, his throat was so tight.

  Jade touched his arm. “But you got out! You actually left podunk Rockford in the rearview mirror. How’d you do it?” He leaned forward, eyes alight, rubbing his hands together. “Spill!”

  That made Sandy chuckle, even though he felt slightly sick to his stomach at the memory of his parents’ rejection. “Josh helped me. I got some stuff together and went to his house. We told his mom I was spending the night to work on our science project. In the morning, he drove me to the Greyhound station, and I got on a bus to Chicago. Remember Dan DeMartino?”

  “Oh yeah. He moved, like, in sophomore year or something.”

  “Right. He and Josh are still tight. Dan and his older brother live in Chicago now. Josh told him my situation, and Dan said come stay with them until I could figure out what I was going to do.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. At first I thought I’d stay in Chicago and try to go to U of C anyway in the fall. But then Uncle Phinney called, and I decided if I’m running away, I might as well get totally out of Illinois.”

  “Good plan.”

  “Yeah. He’s my favorite uncle. Hard to believe he and Mom are related, because he’s awesome. We used to sit and talk about life and books whenever he was home visiting. He’s smart and was always really nice. We all knew he was gay, although he never mentioned it. I got a text from him because my mom had called him to see if he knew where I was.”

  “I’m surprised your folks didn’t have the police out looking for you.”

  Sandy made a face. “I’m sure they wanted to, but I called to let them know I was alive. And I’m eighteen, so they can’t legally come after me if I don’t want to live there anymore.”

  Jade curled his legs under him and rested his chin on his hands.

  “Loving this, Sandy. Go on.”

  Sandy had always admired Jade’s outrageousness, so the admiring look Jade directed at him now made him happy. “Uncle Phinney offered to put me up, and I got on a train to Portland. I decided a train would be more fun than a plane.”

  “Yep. That’s why I’m taking one home for Thanksgiving. It’s been great so far.”

  They smiled at each other. “And I met Cody on the train.”

  “Right. He was going to Portland to join some band?”

  “Exactly. This is the wild thing. He was going out to Portland to join this funk band, Da Beat, and Uncle Phinney’s best friend Blaine is in it!”

  “That is such destiny.”

  “Right? It was bizarre coming off the train. Uncle Phinney was waving at me, and this guy next to him, who turned out to be Blaine, was waving at Cody. Turns out Blaine is also from Rockford and went to St. Ignatius with Uncle Phinney, and they also ran away as soon as they were done with high school.”

  “They did? Oh my God!”

  Sandy nodded. “Blaine calls us the Rockford ex-pat society.”

  “Can I join your club?” When Sandy looked at him questioningly, Jade added, “Honey, I’m not ever planning to move back to Rockford. The West Coast is it for me.” He stretched. “Oh yes, I almost forgot. How did you graduate? Did you have to get a GED or something?”

  “I graduated because I’d gotten enough credits. I had to call Principal Smith and listen to him telling me I was a bad boy, but they sent me my transcripts and diploma.”

  “Good for you, pumpkin. And are you in school now?”

  “Yeah. I started at Portland State University. They call it PSU. It’s to get my general ed classes done. Then I can figure out where I want to go from there.”

  “Sounds good.” Jade yawned. “Sorry. I didn’t sleep too well in that coach seat.”

  “You’ll sleep better tonight.”

  Jade made a show of eyeing the sofa and then Sandy. “Faith and begorra, that I will.”

  Sandy’s dick perked up. Slut, whispered the pious judge in his head.

  What about Dare? He frowned. Why should he be worrying about Dare? He hadn’t heard from him in months.

  Jade peered at him, concern creasing his forehead. “Are you okay? I was only joking, hon.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, let’s go to the observation car. I think we’re about to see Glacier National Park. It’s way cool.”

  “Your wish is my command, pumpkin.”

  Sandy laughed. He’d forgotten how much fun Jade was.

  “So tell me more about this boyfriend of yours.”

  Jade turned his gaze to Sandy, even though stunning vistas of the American West flowed past as they sat in the observation car. They’d been in there for several hours, chatting and watching the scenery. Sandy had forgotten how hilarious Jade could be, and even better, how good he was at putting Sandy at ease. Sandy had felt practically buoyant, floating on a cloud of laughter and reminiscence as he and Jade had talked about everything under the sun.

  Now, though, he came to earth with a thud. “What about him?”

  “I don’t know. You tell me. Any guy the mighty Sandy Nixon falls for has to be someone special.”

  “Shut up. ‘Mighty’?” After snorting out a laugh, Sandy heav
ed a sigh.

  “His name is Dare.”

  “Dare, hmm? Interesting name.”

  “You should talk, Jade. How did you come up with that, huh?”

  Sandy regretted his joke when he saw a shadow cross Jade’s face.

  “I didn’t. My mother called me that, even though Papa wanted me to be nicknamed Jack after him. And after she left, I kept it.”

  “Oh. It suits you, though. You’re definitely not a Jack.”

  Jade brightened. “You’re telling me, doll. Papa got over it. Okay, back to Dare. How’d you meet?”

  “At the Burnside Skatepark.” At Jade’s puzzled glance, he clarified.

  “Skateboarding. I met him the first week.”

  “Oh. He’s a skater dude, huh?” Jade wrinkled his forehead. “Somehow I can’t quite picture you with…. What’s he look like?”

  Sandy got out his phone. “Here. I’ll show you.” He pulled up a picture he’d taken of him and Dare smiling into the camera on a rare sunny day.

  Jade bent over to see, his head so close to Sandy’s that his hair brushed Sandy’s face. Then he reared back and stared at him. “My stars! Your hair! When did you dye it green?”

  Sandy laughed. “Is that all you can say? Right before I left for Portland.” He studied the picture. He and Dare seemed happy back then.

  “What do you think of Dare?”

  Jade considered the photo. “He’s cute, in a skater-punk kind of way. But you’re cuter.” He eyed Sandy’s hair, which he’d let grow out into his natural blond. “Although I’m sorry to have missed the Jolly Green Giant look.”

  “Shut up.” Sandy felt a grin tug his mouth as he put the phone down.

  “Where is Dare now? Shouldn’t he be coming on this trip with you?”

  “No. I told you I ‘had’ a boyfriend, remember? He’s not around.”

  “Really?” Jade broke into a smile, then quickly sobered. “What happened?”

  Sandy averted his eyes to stare out the window. “I have no idea. One day we were together and everything was cool, then the next day he disappeared.”

  “Disappeared?”

  “As in, skipped town with no warning. Back in August. He’s alive, according to his friends. But I haven’t heard from him since. It sucks.”

  Sandy’s bitterness was tempered by a sudden realization. “Oh.” He fixed his eyes on Jade, who gave him a significant glance. “I guess you know how that feels. But you and I weren’t boyfriends for four months! And I had to leave Rockford.”

  Jade bit his lip and looked out at the world. “I know you did. Maybe Dare had to leave too. And maybe someday you’ll find out why. Did you… are you in love with him?”

  Sandy frowned. “I don’t know if it’s love. I think I’m kinda enamored, or something. He’s so different—like this edgy bad boy. But really smart, and into books and music. He worked at a record store, and we listened to a lot of vinyl. And we talked about books and stuff. He even got me into smoking weed a little. It was cool.”

  He was about to comment on how weed enhanced sex but stopped, feeling awkward about bringing up gay sex with Jade. Which was ridiculous, given what he and Jade had done. He smiled and glanced over at Jade to share his ridiculous thoughts, but Jade still stared out the window, huddled on the seat, his arms wrapped around himself. “Are you cold?”

  “What?” Jade turned his eyes to him and then gave him a bright smile.

  “Oh. No. But I’m starving! Let’s go find some food.”

  “Tell me about being bi,” Jade suggested as they sat side by side, shoulders touching. They’d returned to the observation car after having lunch with Phinney and Cody, who had retreated to their love nest, aka sleeper cabin.

  “Huh?” Sandy shot a glance in Jade’s direction, trying to determine if he was joking.

  “I mean it, doll. I’m fascinated that you’ve had this revelation. I would have pegged you for a curious straight boy all the way.” Jade tilted his head, his eyes sparkling. “I highly approve, of course.”

  Sandy relaxed. “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about it back when… after we hooked up.”

  Jade leaned closer. “You did? Why?”

  “Because… um, you know, you’re easy to talk to. But we never really hung out.”

  “Hmm. True. You were too busy hanging with the jocks and student council types—oh, and the cheerleaders—for little ol’ me.”

  Sandy bumped his shoulder into Jade’s. “You should talk. You were too busy starring in all the plays and running around with the artsy crowd for little ol’ me.”

  Jade grinned and grabbed Sandy’s hand. “What a pair we were.”

  “Uh, yeah.” All his blood had rushed south at Jade’s touch, and Sandy concentrated on trying to seem unaffected. Jade got touchy-feely with everyone, and Sandy had to remember it didn’t mean anything. “So… um, what was the question again?” He shifted away from Jade a fraction, and Jade let go of his hand.

  “Questions, babe. I’m full of them!” Jade tucked his legs gracefully to one side and leaned back to survey Sandy’s face. “Let’s start with the hetero side of your bi equation.”

  “Okaaay. What do you want to know?”

  “You’re still into girls?” At Sandy’s nod, Jade asked, “Do you see yourself ending up married? To a woman? I mean, wouldn’t it be easier?”

  “Well, yeah, it’d be easier. But marriage? Come on, I’m barely nineteen. I have no idea who I’ll end up with.”

  “Okay.” Jade’s eyes were wide and serious. “But you and Brittany are… what?”

  Sandy huffed out an exasperated breath. “How should I know? We haven’t seen each other in eight months!”

  “Got it.” Jade gave a satisfied nod. “So it’s not the love of the century, but you’ll see how things are when you get together this week.”

  “Jesus, Jade. Me and Brittany were never the love of the century. We lost our virginity together, and that was about it. She’s a friend and she’s a cool person. That’s all.”

  “Okay, okay. No need to get testy. Any other females on your radar?”

  Sandy wanted to be mad but couldn’t hold on to his anger when Jade smiled that teasing smile. “There was a girl I went out with a few times in Portland after Dare disappeared. Marie. I met her on my Ultimate Frisbee team.”

  “Aha!”

  “Naw, she had a semi-serious boyfriend who came back to town, so we stopped dating.”

  “And you’re still hung up on Dare.”

  “Yeah. I mean, I guess? How long can you hang on to a hopeless cause before it gets pathetic, though?” He’d meant it as a joke, but Jade didn’t smile.

  “Oh, years. Believe me.” Jade gazed away for a moment, then turned back. “You’re not pathetic, Mr. Nixon. Anything but.” Now he smiled at him, a soft sweetness to his expression that turned Sandy bashful.

  “Aw, stop.” Sandy cleared his throat. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “Anyone you’re seeing?” Sandy didn’t really want to hear that Jade was serious about someone. That was dumb, though. He’d never known Jade to have a steady boyfriend, and he used to think Jade was a player. But from being with him today, Sandy was beginning to see that Jade wanted someone to love. And Jade deserved that, because he was awesome.

  “Nobody special.” Jade gave a shrug. “I’m still waiting for the prince to come along.”

  What did it say about Sandy that he was instantly jealous of this phantom prince? Deciding a change in subject would be great about now, he grabbed Jade’s iPod sitting on the table next to them. “Hey, what music are you listening to these days?”

  Jade brightened and handed Sandy one of the earbuds while inserting the other in his own ear, then scooted closer to him. “Let me play you some of my favorites. Don’t hate me if I sing along, though.”

  “You tired? Wanna see how this bed thing works?” Jade gave him an impish smile in response, and Sandy’s cock leaped to life. “Stop. I meant how we conv
ert the sofa into a bed.”

  They stood in Sandy’s sleep compartment, pleasantly full from dinner and the good wine Phinney had served them back in his and Cody’s room.

  It had been one of the best days of Sandy’s life so far—being on a train crossing the vast American West, talking to Jade for hours, and the two of them having fun meals with the uncles.

  Now, though, Sandy was faced with sharing a smallish sleep compartment with Jade, and he hoped it wouldn’t be too awkward. He couldn’t fool himself about his attraction to Jade—every hour spent in his sparkling company had given Sandy another reason to desire him—but he could maybe keep Jade from seeing the full extent of it. Because, after all, Sandy was hung up on Dare, right? He had no business wanting to get into Jade’s pants.

  They wrangled the sofa into a small double bed, then took turns brushing their teeth at the basin in the tiny bathroom. Sandy avoided peeking at Jade’s lithe body while they stripped down to T-shirts and underwear.

  He’d never really seen him naked, come to think of it. No. Don’t think of Jade naked.

  Jade got in the bed first, then patted next to him. “Come on, pumpkin.

  I don’t bite.”

  Sandy felt the blush creep up his neck and onto his face. “I know.”

  He climbed in next to Jade, who was watching him with keen interest, eyes twinkling.

  It was hard to avoid touching each other in the small bed, and Sandy tried to keep his burgeoning dick well away so Jade wouldn’t find out. Jade pinched him in the side and giggled when he yelped, then turned so his back was to Sandy, saying over his shoulder, “Good night, dollface. Wake me up when it’s breakfast time.”

  “Good night.” Sandy reached to turn out the lamp next to the bed with a sense of relief tinged with disappointment.

  Chapter Five

  “So we need a game plan for Rockford.” Uncle Phineas had on what Cody called his “worry face” as he sipped his coffee at breakfast in the dining car.

  Cody squeezed his knee. “What’re your thoughts, babe?”

  Now a smile tugged at Uncle Phinney’s lips. Cody knew how to calm him down. “I don’t know. You’re distracting me.”