Sand-Man's Family

by CJane Elliott

  A warm washcloth landed on his crotch, and a smiling Jade leaned down and kissed him.

  “Thanks. I think.” He wiped himself off and handed the cloth back.

  Jade took it and tossed it into a laundry basket, then climbed in bed and pulled the covers over them. He kissed Sandy’s cheek. “Get some sleep. We’re getting up early tomorrow.”

  Sandy pulled Jade close and gave a contented sigh. He and Dare had never actually spent the night together, because Phineas didn’t let Dare stay over and he would have worried had Sandy stayed the night with Dare.

  Dare was so twitchy and hyper, hopping up to smoke a cigarette every five minutes, that Sandy doubted it would have been restful. But Jade…. Jade felt perfect for Sandy to hold, his body fitting comfortably into his arms.

  He held on and stopped thinking about tomorrow.

  Chapter Ten

  “Don’t look now, but there’s Mrs. Carmichael.” Jade tilted his head toward the front of the bus. They had boarded the shuttle to O’Hare and were sitting side by side. Sandy looked up to see their high school chemistry teacher walking down the aisle.

  “Why, Sandy, how good to see you! We’ve missed you in church. Hello, Jade.”

  “Hi, Mrs. Carmichael,” they chorused as she moved along and sat behind them a few rows back.

  “Great,” Sandy muttered. “We have a witness.” His thoughts of holding Jade’s hand died a quick death.

  Jade tsked. “Oh well, pumpkin, that’s Rockford for you. Be glad we’re both escaping.”

  “Yeah.” But Sandy had wanted to lay his head on Jade’s shoulder and snuggle up to him. This was their last hour together. Once they got to the airport, they’d be going in different directions to get to their flights. He stole a glance at Jade, who was studying his gold nails with a frown. “Jade?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Are we—” His phone buzzed. “Wait. Brittany’s calling.” He smiled at Jade’s raised eyebrow and answered the call. “Hey there. You headed back to school?”

  “Yep.”

  “Good. I thought maybe we’d see you on the shuttle.”

  “No, I hitched a ride with my friend Cara. So who’s we?”

  “Jade and me. He’s going to Seattle.”

  “Ohhhh. You and Jade, huh? That’s sweet.”

  Sandy laughed. “Shut up.”

  “Why? I’m going to claim you guys as my best matchmaking ever. And I want to watch sometime. Did I ever tell you I’m a voyeur? I bet you guys are totally hot together.”

  “Jeez, stop!” Sandy grinned, feeling his cheeks flush, and put his hand over his face.

  “Never. I’m so proud of the monster I’ve created. Sandy, the sex monster!”

  “You’re the sex monster, not me!” Sandy remembered Mrs. Carmichael and lowered his voice. “Now you’re getting me in trouble. Mrs. Carmichael is on this shuttle.”

  Brittany’s laugh rang in his ears. “Give her my love. Thank fuck I’m never going to have to take chemistry again in this lifetime. Oops, gotta go, we’re pulling into a Starbucks. Talk to you soon. Call me!”

  “Okay. Talk to you later.”

  Sandy put down his phone with a smile. “That girl is crazy.” He turned his head to find Jade slouched in his seat, face stony, eyes closed. “Jade?”

  “Yes?”

  “Um, are you tired?”

  “Not really. Just resting my eyes.”

  “Oh.” Sandy drew his eyebrows together, at a loss. He wanted to talk, but Jade seemed to have put up a wall. Sandy reviewed his side of his phone call with Brittany. Oh. All Jade had seen and heard was Sandy laughing and blushing and talking about sex monsters.

  He poked Jade in the arm. “Hey.”

  Jade opened his eyes. “Hey, what?” His face softened a fraction as he gazed at Sandy. “How’s your girlfriend?”

  “She’s not my girlfriend. And she was teasing me about—” Sandy glanced over his shoulder and leaned closer to whisper. “—you and me. I told her about us.”

  The color rose in Jade’s cheeks, and a smile curved his lips. “Oh, did you, now?”

  “Aye, that I did. And she’s all proud, like she’s the reason.”

  Jade wrinkled his forehead. “What does Brittany have to do with anything?”

  “She’s the one who made me ask you last year about… you know… getting together. We’d been talking about experimenting, and….” Sandy’s words trailed away at the look on Jade’s face.

  “Oh, really.” Jade’s voice was flat as a pancake, his mouth a grim line.

  “That’s nice.”

  “Jade, stop.”

  Jade shook himself and gave Sandy a brittle smile. “Stop what? I’m glad I was able to help you with your experiment, pumpkin.” He yawned and closed his eyes again. “I think I’ll try to snooze for a bit. Wake me up when we get to the airport.”

  Sandy felt like tearing his hair out. Or Jade’s. “Don’t fall asleep on me. I want to talk to you.”

  “What about?”

  Sandy leaned closer so he could lower his voice. “Getting with you wasn’t just Brittany’s idea. I’ve always been attracted to you.”

  Jade opened his eyes and stared at him. “Really?”

  “Yes. But I’m a nice Catholic boy and had to get through my Catholic guilt first.”

  “Faith and begorra, lad. That Catholic guilt’s a heavy load.”

  “A load of crap, you mean.”

  They giggled, then shifted closer so their shoulders touched. Relief spiked through Sandy as they launched into an easygoing conversation that lasted until the shuttle pulled up in front of the terminal.

  When they got off the bus, they stood for a moment on the sidewalk.

  Jade needed to get into the security line in this terminal to make his flight, and Sandy’s terminal was the next one over.

  “Well, I guess this is it, doll.” After a moment’s hesitation, Jade took a step toward him and held out his arms.

  Mrs. Carmichael came off the bus. “Safe travels, boys.”

  Sandy stepped back from Jade. “You too, Mrs. Carmichael.” When he turned, Jade was zipping up his backpack. Then he looked up with a fixed smile on his face. Hug him and kiss him, stupid.

  Jade waited for a beat, but Sandy stood there, frozen. Then Jade waved at Mrs. Carmichael with a bright smile and gave Sandy a heartbreaking little finger wiggle. “See you later, pumpkin.”

  Sandy watched Jade’s slim figure walk away, posture erect, hips swaying like he was working the runway, and knew he’d failed him. Jade’s accusations about Sandy hiding behind his apparent hetero-ness—and the fear that lurked behind the anger—burned in his memory. He’d wanted to show Jade that he wasn’t afraid. But not in front of friggin’ Mrs. Carmichael.

  He pulled out his phone and sent Jade a text.

  The pilot announced the final descent into the Portland area, and everyone stirred, making sure their tray tables were stowed and all that jazz.

  Sandy yawned, anticipating the moment he could turn on his phone and see how many texts he had waiting from Jade. Jade hadn’t answered any of the several texts or one call he’d made to him before his flight took off, and Sandy was trying not to make that mean anything. Surely he’d have some responses now, because Jade would have been on the ground in Seattle for the last hour, according to his flight times.

  When the plane landed, Sandy had his phone out and turned back on within an instant. He stared at the display as they taxied to the gate. One text from Uncle Phinney asking him to check in when he got home. One text from Connor. Nothing from Jade. Shoot. Sandy busied himself with getting off the plane and locating his SuperShuttle. Maybe Jade’s phone had died.

  Right. And maybe you just blew it big time and he’s never gonna forgive you. Sandy boarded the SuperShuttle with a sense of impending doom.

  Chapter Eleven

  Setting his suitcase on the porch, Sandy wrestled with the lock and pushed open the front door to the condo. He wrinkled his nose. It smelled l
ike something had died in the refrigerator. He’d deal with that in a bit. First he needed to haul his luggage in and check his phone. Again. Once in his room, he looked at the display, beginning to hate its bland indifference as it showed him zero texts, zero calls.

  He sent a text to Uncle Phinney, letting him know he was safely home.

  He texted a “hang in there, bro” message to Connor and shot off quick messages to Brittany and Josh. His fingers hovered over the text message address for Jade. But instead he called and listened as Jade’s phone rang.

  And rang. And finally went to voice mail.

  “Hi, babes. This is the fabulous Jade, and you know what to do with your fabulous selves. Ciao.”

  “Um, hey Jade. It’s Sandy. And yeah, you’re fabulous. Ha-ha. Well. Um, I haven’t heard from you since the airport, so… so I wanted to um, make sure you’re okay and um, say hi. Call me when you can. Bye.”

  He hung up, cursing himself for his total lameness. His annoying psych teacher at PSU loved to say there was a lesson in everything, if only he was willing to receive it. He wondered what the lesson was in everyone he cared about disappearing. That I’m a total loser? His phone buzzed, and he snatched it up. Damn, only Uncle Phinney.

  “Hey there.”

  “So you made it home, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Everything okay there?”

  “Uh-huh. Smells like something spoiled in the fridge, though.”

  “Oh, no. Cody! What did you leave that would have spoiled?”

  Sandy laughed as he heard Cody say something like “How should I know?” in the background.

  “That’s right, blame it on Cody. Don’t worry, I’ll clean it out.”

  “Okay, okay. Did I give you enough money for groceries and all? You’re all by yourself for a month, my baby nephew.”

  “I’m fine, Uncle Phinney. Where are you guys?”

  “We’ve made it to Bellevue, and we’re in a beautiful motel right by the train tracks.”

  “Good luck falling asleep.”

  “Cody says you can hear the trains wherever you are in town, so… he’ll just have to tire me out.”

  “TMI, guys.”

  Uncle Phinney chuckled, and Sandy heard kissing noises. He rolled his eyes. These guys were beyond belief. Then he bit his lip thinking of Jade, and wished he could be kissing Jade right now.

  “Did Jade make it back to Seattle okay?”

  “Um… yeah, I think so.”

  “Haven’t you heard from him?”

  Sandy walked down the hall to the kitchen. Phew. It really stunk in here. “Naw.”

  “Oh. Okay, Sand-Man. Check in with us every day, okay?”

  “Yeah, yeah, okay.” He pulled open the refrigerator but didn’t see anything. Then he opened the cabinet under the sink. Aha. Wrappers from the fish market had been left in the trash can. “Found the smell. Fish wrappers in the trash.”

  “Didn’t I tell you to empty the trash before we left?”

  “Probably.”

  As Sandy pulled out a new trash bag, he heard Uncle Phinney say, “Cody, is there anything you want to say to your nephew?”

  That made Sandy smile. Cody came on the line. “Okay, dude, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Uncle Phinney squawked in the background.

  “Relax, Phineas. I’ve already given Sandy the ‘be safe’ lecture many times. Have fun, Sand-Man. We love you. And trust you,” he added firmly, and Sandy could imagine him staring at Phinney as he said it.

  “Love you too. You guys have a good time. You’re seeing your family! How cool is that?”

  “Yeah, should be interesting.”

  “How long has it been, again?”

  “Ten years. It’s gonna be wild to see them.”

  “I hope they’re better than mine.”

  “We’re your family, Sands. And we’re awesome.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Say hi to Jade if you see him.”

  “Okay.” Sandy walked into the living room to get away from the fish smell. “Um, Cody? Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Jade and I… we got together.”

  “Okay.”

  “We were safe and all that!”

  “I had no doubts.” There was a rustling and Uncle Phinney’s voice in the background, then Cody’s voice grew muffled. “Relax, Phinney. Sandy and I are having a little talk.”

  Sandy smiled. Uncle Phinney had to know everything. “You can tell him after I talk to you, okay?”

  “Okay. Hold on. He says I can tell you later, so why don’t you go use the bathroom or something? Love you.” Kiss, kiss. “All right, Sand-Man, I’m back with you.”

  “I… I think I’m falling for him.”

  “Well, is that okay with you? I like him. Phineas and I both do. So it’s okay with us. Oh—wait. Are you still hung up on Dare? Is that the problem?”

  Sandy tried to call up his familiar Dare-brain obsession, but nothing happened. “I… I think I’m finally over Dare. Being with Jade helped.”

  “Good. I’m glad. I didn’t like what Dare did to you, up and leaving like that.”

  “Yeah.” Sandy cleared his throat. “So, to answer your earlier question, yes, it’s okay with me to be falling for Jade. It’s great. Only… I think I may have blown it, because he hasn’t texted or called since this morning at the airport.”

  He heard a chuckle. Then Cody said, “Well, less than twenty-four hours is not a real long time to decide the relationship is over. Maybe his phone died.”

  “Yeah. I just… I didn’t kiss him good-bye at the airport. And I think it hurt him.”

  “Why?”

  “Why didn’t I kiss him, or why do I think it hurt him?”

  “Both.”

  Sandy lay lengthwise on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. “A, I didn’t kiss him because Mrs. Carmichael, our friggin’ high school chemistry teacher, was standing right there, and B, I think it hurt him because he’s scared I’m going to chicken out. Like, I’m bi, right? So why not be with a woman, because it’s easier.”

  “Hmm, yeah. I hear ya.”

  And Sandy knew Cody really did. “Yeah.”

  “So what do you think? Is Jade right?”

  “No! I mean, I was with Dare, wasn’t I?”

  “In Portland. We’re talking about Rockford. Although knowing what little I do, I can see why you didn’t want to kiss him in front of your Catholic high school teacher.”

  “It upset him.”

  “Okay. So what you’re saying is, Jade’s worried that maybe you won’t want to stay in a same-sex relationship, given how much tougher it is to own that in the world.”

  “Exactly.”

  “But what he doesn’t understand is that, if you love someone, it doesn’t matter. We don’t choose who we fall in love with. I’ve been in love with a woman, and now I’m in love with Phineas. It’s wonderful and hard and scary either way. And it’s worth it.”

  Sandy heaved a sigh. “Okay, Uncle Cody.” It was the first time he’d called Cody “Uncle,” but it seemed right. Cody was his family.

  “Aw. Nephew Sand-Man. One other thing. Don’t stress. You guys are way young. You’ve got plenty of time to figure things out. Go where love leads you, and all that woo-woo crap. And before I turn into Yoda, I’m gonna say good night and pounce on that other uncle of yours.”

  “Ack! Thanks for the advice.”

  “Anytime, kid.”

  Sandy laid down his phone and drifted off to sleep. He had weird dreams about baby rhinos with blue fur. Then his eyes popped open.

  Darkness shrouded the living room, and all was quiet except for the ticktock of Phinney’s grandfather clock. He checked the phone and wasn’t surprised to see no messages.

  But this time he wasn’t upset. He knew what he had to do. He called Jade.

  When it went to voice mail as he expected, he cleared his throat and launched in. “Jade, hi. It’s me. I want to apologize to you
for not kissing you good-bye at the airport. I got freaked by Mrs. Carmichael being right there.

  But that’s no excuse. I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you anyway, to show you how much you mean to me. It’s been amazing reconnecting with you, and I…

  I wanna keep going with you. I hope you’re doing great, and I hope you’ll forgive me for being a jerk. Sweet dreams.”

  He hung up and stretched, then got to his feet and went to the kitchen to bundle up the stinky trash bag and put it on the back porch. As he returned to his bedroom, the phone rang with Jade’s name on the display.

  “Hey. You’re alive!”

  “Yes. And you’re a sweetheart to leave me that message. I want to keep going with you too. Sorry I dropped out of sight today.”

  Sandy lay on his bed, phone cradled next to his ear. “That’s okay. I blew it. So we’re okay?”

  “More than okay, pumpkin. We’re fabulous!”

  Sandy chuckled. “Tell me about your flight.”

  As Jade’s pleasing voice sounded in his ear, Sandy thought of a plan— something to show Jade how much he cared. Perfect! All he had to do was talk Uncle Phinney into letting him use the Mercedes for a quick trip to Seattle.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sandy rolled over in bed at the buzzing of his phone and glanced at the display. Eight o’clock? Much too early to be awake on a Sunday after he and Jade had talked into the wee hours of the morning.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, Sandy! Did I wake you?”

  “Yeah.” He knew from the few mornings he’d woken up with Jade that Jade was one of those early risers who managed to be annoyingly cheerful and full of energy at the crack of dawn.

  “Oh, sorry, pumpkin. You want to talk later?”

  “Naw, I’m up now. And you’re worth waking up for.”

  “Ahhhh. Love to hear that! I’ve been buzzing around doing laundry and getting stuff ready for school tomorrow. I can’t believe we only have a few weeks until finals.”

  “God. Don’t remind me.” Sandy eyed his college textbooks piled on the corner of his desk. “I’ll be putting in serious time at the library.”