Mile High

by Ophelia Bell

  “The doctor called and told me what happened, so I made arrangements and caught a flight. Don’t worry, Elle and Sam are still in LA with Mom. They think I’m on some errand for Flores.”

  “I’m working on getting back there too,” I say. “Just had a bit of a setback.”

  “I suppose I should be grateful you hooked up with a surgeon, all things considered,” he says, nodding and smiling at Callie. “I think this is the first time you’ve spent more than a night with the same woman.”

  Callie lifts an eyebrow at me and I throw her a cocky smile. “Better get used to it. I’ve decided I have a fetish for blue scrubs.”

  “Just as long as you don’t make a habit of flirting with death, you got it?” Maddox says. “I’d rather not have to give Mom more bad news whenever she wakes up.”

  “What are you really here for, man? I know it isn’t just to kick my ass about my apparent death wish. You know I’d do anything to get my life back.”

  He and Callie share a look, and that troubled expression of hers is back, raising all kinds of internal alarms. Before I can call them on it, a knock sounds at the door and Nina pokes her head in.

  “Oh good, he’s here!” she says, then pushes the door open and steps inside. Booth is right behind her looking fresh as a daisy, his right arm bound in a sturdy blue sling. He and Maddox shake hands, and then all attention returns to me.

  “You’re starting to worry me, guys, so what gives? Did you find out I have a week to live or something?” It occurs to me that my brother’s presence can’t just be to wish me a speedy recovery. Booth knows Mad is one of the few people I’ll actually listen to, so if they need him to rein me in, then whatever they have to tell me is big.

  Callie takes a deep breath. “Mom called last night. She’s on her way back to Denver today. She got the okay to make the deal with Zavala.”

  I’m already halfway out of the bed before my brother steps in and grips my shoulders. Callie grabs the hand I’m using to grip my IV line, keeping me from ripping it out of my arm.

  “Brother, you need to chill out,” Mad says, urging me back.

  “I’m not staying in this bed when I need to be on the way to fucking Mexico the second I get that thumb drive back.” I glare at him, but I’m not strong enough to fight him at the moment.

  Callie’s blue eyes flash with worry and she shoots a beseeching look at Maddox, then at Booth. “Has he always been this stubborn?”

  “Pretty much,” Booth says, and my brother snorts.

  “Don’t fuck with me, guys. You know I have to go.”

  “No,” Maddox says. “What we know is that you were nearly fucking paralyzed and you need our help to finish this. I’m going to Mexico. You’re staying the fuck in that bed until you’ve recovered. I’ll bring your daughter home.”

  “The fuck you will!” I yell. “Goddamnit, Maddox! I’m not letting you risk your life for me. This is my issue. Zoe is my daughter. I’ve got to see this through! You want me to stay in this bed, you’ll have to fucking chain me down.”

  “Mason, please!” Callie begs. “Are you really willing to risk paralysis to do this? It’s too soon! I know you don’t want to waste time getting to Zoe, but you can’t do this yourself.”

  “The fuck I can’t.” I glare at her, then at the others. There’s no way in hell I’m letting any of them walk into Zavala’s compound for me. I’d never be able to live with myself if it went wrong.

  “Let me have a few minutes alone with my brother,” Maddox says, glancing at the others before settling his steely gaze back on me.

  I set my jaw, ready to dig in. He looks like Dad right now, except without the raised fist ready to strike. Callie’s last anguished look before she closes the door behind her sinks in like a knife in my gut. I don’t want to hurt her, but she doesn’t understand that I have to see this through myself.

  “There isn’t a goddamn thing you can say to change my mind, and you know it,” I tell him, scooting to the edge of the bed again and succeeding in jerking the IV out of my arm finally. Except there’s still another tube attached that trails beneath my arm to another port taped to my ribcage, and I remember the catheter that’s stuck into my spine. I stare at it, the urgency slipping away as the reality of my situation sinks in.

  “Yeah, you’re kind of fucked,” Maddox says.

  “You can’t just leave me here to wait. It’ll kill me not knowing whether you made it out in one piece. You don’t know Zavala.”

  He heaves a sigh and sits in the chair facing me, leaning over with his elbows on his knees. “Well, there’s no way in hell any of us are letting you go alone. Can you even stand?”

  I place my feet on the floor and rise without issue. Despite the light-headedness from not eating solid food for two days, I feel more or less stable. I even rise onto my toes and do a couple easy lifts before darkness starts to creep into the edge of my vision and the world goes wobbly. I sit down hard and groan, holding onto the bed until the room stabilizes and my vision clears.

  Mad’s lips are pressed in a straight line as he regards me. “Tell you what. If you can get your strength back enough to walk a flight of stairs by tomorrow morning, I’ll make a case for you going, but you’re not doing this alone. I’m going with you, got it? And if the doc disagrees, I want you to listen to her.”

  I reluctantly agree, and when the others return, Maddox is true to his word. Except when he explains the deal we just made, Callie’s expression morphs between anger and betrayal, and faint nausea flickers in my belly unrelated to my hunger. I want to tell her I’m sorry, but that would be a lie.

  “Please.” I splay my hands on my lap, hating the distance this situation has forced between us. The last thing I want is to drive a wedge into our fledgling relationship, but I’m not above begging. I need her more than she realizes, and an icy lump takes up residence in my gut when it becomes clear I could very well lose her if I follow through.

  She just stares at me, jaw clenched, for several seconds while the others silently find seats around the room. Someone has bags with delicious aromas drifting out, but my earlier hunger has been superseded by dread. I want to beg again, because the last thing I want is to lose this woman, but I don’t see any other choice.

  Then she swallows and closes her eyes, shaking her head slowly. When she opens her eyes again, they’re filled with resignation and tenderness, and I nearly sob with relief.

  “I have two conditions to this fucking insane plan,” she says.

  “Anything, baby. I will do anything you want.”

  She nods. “First, you better be walking on your own by tomorrow, like your brother says.”

  “Not a problem. Just let me get my strength back with whatever food Nina brought. What’s the second thing?”

  “I’m going with you.”

  34

  Callie

  I know it’s crazy of me to even think about going to Mexico with Mason. In the few seconds between his brother’s speech and Mason’s plea, my mind cycled through all the potential outcomes. But I kept landing on one thing: I don’t want to lose him again.

  It’s insane. We’ve only known each other for a matter of days, even though we technically met three years ago. But this man has been on my mind off and on for the duration, and discovering he never died, and that he’s an amazingly thoughtful, passionate, caring man, makes it all the more difficult to let him slip through my fingers.

  Because I know deep down that if I let him walk out of my life right now, I will lose him, and that thought terrifies me more than any risk I might assume by insisting I go with him.

  My rationale isn’t that far off the mark. He just had surgery on his spine. While it’s important that he gets on his feet soon anyway, I’m not about to let him leave the country unsupervised. He’ll need a competent doctor in the event something goes wrong. I don’t trust him not to risk his health, or his life, to ensure his daughter makes it out of there. If nothing else, I need him to know he has me to retur
n to as well. I wasn’t exaggerating when I told him I loved him. As crazy as it sounded when I said it, it still felt right. Far more right than any of the times I said it to Barnaby.

  I don’t leave his side for the next twenty-four hours, despite his eventual jokes about me cracking the whip. But his determination to prove he can perform is evident almost immediately. Once he gets a good meal, he insists on being unhooked from the spinal catheter so he can get on his feet unhindered by tubes and wires.

  I try to get him to start with a walker, but it turns out he doesn’t need it. His mobility isn’t in question, but the pain he’s dealing with becomes evident when he starts to pass out at the second landing in the stairwell. Maddox barely catches him before he topples over.

  He paces himself after that, finally agreeing to listen to his body’s limits and not let it get out of hand. I still suspect he’s enduring more than he needs to for the sake of remaining alert, but by the time my mother returns with the official approval for the trade, he’s more than ready to get going.

  Mom is a different challenge altogether, and a far more rigid one at that. We’re standing outside Mason’s room when I announce that I’m going to Mexico with Mason, and she stares at me in disbelief for several seconds, as if I was just speaking complete gibberish. When she finally regains her voice, she says, “Absolutely not.”

  “I wasn’t asking permission,” I tell her. “I am going.”

  Her jaw tightens and her eyes flare with anger. We’ve had many stand-offs like this in my life, which have almost always ended in some compromise that left us both short of our true desires. This isn’t a situation I’m willing to give on, though.

  “There’s absolutely no point in you risking your life for this, Callie. Whether or not I forbid you from going isn’t even the point. It’s against DEA protocol.”

  “I don’t really give a shit about protocol. I know you’re capable of bending the rules to suit your purposes anyway. I will find a way around it if I have to, but I am going. I’m not risking the possibility of Mason needing a competent doctor and me not being there.”

  We stare each other down for a couple more seconds, and I can pinpoint the moment when she realizes she has no sway over my decision. Mom’s battle-axe facade cracks, and I see a flash of real fear in her eyes. She tries to maintain the illusion of anger, but when she swallows hard and stalks away, I’m almost sure she’s trembling. She aims for the guest lounge and I follow, not to try to drive the point home, but out of concern because only once in my life have I ever seen my mother shaken to this degree.

  She stops in front of the coffee machine and grabs a paper cup, places it under the nozzle, and makes her choices on the screen. I’m pretty sure she isn’t even seeing what she chooses, because my mother does not drink decaf. Then she grips the edge of the counter with both hands and stares at the cup.

  “Mom . . .” I begin, though I have no idea what to say to allay her worries. I take a deep breath and ask, “This is about Chris, isn’t it?”

  She exhales shakily. “You weren’t supposed to get involved in this, Callie. You’re too close . . . If you get hurt . . .”

  My heart shudders at the desperation in her voice and the way it cracks. It’s a struggle to stay reasoned, to keep my voice even when I say, “I won’t be alone. Mason’s brother is going with us. Arturo Flores already has men in Mexico City who will have our backs if we need them. We’ll be okay.”

  Obviously I can’t guarantee nothing bad will happen, but what else am I supposed to say? She looks anguished when she turns back around, her coffee forgotten. “Until you have children of your own, you can’t understand what it feels like to lose one. Even the possibility of sending you into danger destroys me, baby.”

  I grit my teeth and take a breath. “You do realize that Mason has a mother too, don’t you? One who he desperately wants to get back to, but thanks to this goddamn operation, she’s believed he was dead for the past three years.”

  “That isn’t my fault. Flores made the recommendation and we ran with it. Mason was the best man for the job.”

  “I didn’t say he wasn’t. But that doesn’t negate the fact that you need his help to find Chris, if Chris is still alive. Can you just accept that I need to do this to bring Mason home to his family? Not just him, but his little girl. A little girl who has no one but him.”

  My voice starts to quaver when I stop to take a breath, and I clench my fists to keep going, ignoring the hot prickle of tears in my eyes. “I desperately want Chris to be alive. But it isn’t fair to think of Mason or anyone else working to find him as expendable. If I’m there, don’t you think he has a better chance of returning with the intel we need to find Chris? To at least know one way or the other if we can hold out hope of bringing him home too?”

  Mom’s face is stony. Then she closes her eyes and lets out a bitter laugh. “God, you are just like your father.” She shakes her head, and when she opens her eyes, I see resignation.

  It’s definitely a victory, but I shake my head. “He isn’t the only one I’m like, and you know it. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the exact same thing if you were in my position.”

  She starts to speak when something behind me catches her eye and she frowns. I turn to look and find Nina standing frozen in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. She looks like she’s seen a ghost, but when she speaks, I understand why.

  “Callie? Is it true? Is it possible Chris is alive?”

  “Nina . . . Oh, honey,” Mom says, her face sagging with concern.

  “Were you even going to tell me?” Nina asks. “Callie, what the fuck? How long have you known?”

  “Only a couple days, Nina. We didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”

  “Jesus, Cal! You always tell me these things. Didn’t you think I deserved to know?”

  She gives me one last look of utter betrayal, and then turns and disappears down the hallway. I grit my teeth and turn back to Mom. “Please tell me we’re done with this argument. I have to go do damage control with Nina.”

  “Just . . . be careful, please. That goes for talking to Nina too. And never forget how much I love you, baby. I want nothing more than to know both you and your brother are safe. Can you understand that?”

  My tension eases and I hazard a small smile, then close the distance and pull her into my arms. She embraces me back as ferociously as ever. “Of course I understand, Mom.”

  She heaves a breath as she pulls back and looks at me, her gaze searching. “If you plan to stay with him, be prepared to embark on the same roller coaster of worry, and I don’t just mean for that reckless hero of a man. You’re signing up for an instant family.”

  I can’t help but groan. “Mom, I was trying really hard to avoid thinking that far ahead. All I know right now is that I want him to be okay. Anything beyond that . . .” I give a small shrug. “Well, I’ll just have to see what happens.”

  “For the record, I think you would make an amazing mother.”

  The comment is so out of left field I can’t respond, so I just nod and give her a peck on the cheek before turning to go find Nina.

  I haven’t even met Mason’s daughter yet, so I’ve been avoiding speculating about what our lives might become after he brings her home. Kids have always been one of those abstract concepts I imagined I’d consider more seriously once my life was more settled. But since becoming a doctor, I’ve learned how much I thrive on seeking out challenges with uncertain outcomes, and working to assert my skill on them to achieve the outcome I desire. This is how I approach medical cases, at any rate. But in those it’s always very clear what the outcome should be. I know what I want within seconds.

  In Mason’s case, all I know for certain is that I want to pursue a future with him, whatever that entails. In a sense it’s freeing to not know exactly how our lives will turn out, just as long as we’re together. But it’s also both exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure, and the reminder that it won’t just be him I
’m tying my life to throws an enormous question mark into the mix.

  My inner perfectionist doesn’t know what the hell to do with it, only that I desperately don’t want to fuck it up.

  After a brief hunt, I find Nina by the vending machine, scooping a chocolate bar out of the dispenser. She sees me and goes still, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “You don’t owe me anything Callie. He’s your brother.”

  “Nina, I wanted to tell you so badly. We just didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. Dad doesn’t even know.”

  She frowns and turns away, aiming for a bench a few yards down the hall where she sits and rips open her chocolate bar. “It’s that big a secret?”

  “We don’t actually have any real intel on his status. We won’t until Mason and I get back from Mexico.”

  “Schrödinger’s Chris,” she muses, breaking off a square of chocolate and popping it into her mouth. “I think he’d be entertained by that.”

  “Yeah, he would. Trust me, I will tell you when we find out anything worth sharing.” She offers her candy to me and I break off a piece for myself. “Did you tell Wyatt about him?”

  An expression of pure anguish comes over her and she shakes her head. “I didn’t know how,” she whispers, giving me a desperate look, her brown eyes wide. “How do you tell the guy you’re on the verge of falling for that he reminds you of someone who died? I mean, he doesn’t now that I know him better. Wyatt’s a lot more cautious and level-headed, for one thing.”

  “He’d understand, wouldn’t he? It wasn’t like you and Chris were together before. That would be a lot harder to live up to, I would think.”

  Nina scrunches her eyes shut and a tear trickles from the corner of one, trailing down the side of her nose. She starts to shake her head. “It was just one night before his last assignment—I’m sorry I never told you. We were going to wait until he got back, but then he never did, and . . . Oh, god . . .”

  Her voice breaks, and the helpless look she gives me says more than any words could convey.