The Poisonous Biscuit

by Paul Edwards

  "Erm, officer, I think there has been a misunderstanding. You see, everything that happened was consensual. I think he's just blown everything out of proportion. Have a slice of cake by the way."

  She cut them a slice of chocolate cake and then continued.

  "As you can see, John bought me these flowers. Does that show you the reality? There is even a receipt which shows he bought them, that fell out of his pocket. I can assure you; this was all a misunderstanding. How could I tie up a fully grown up man like John?"

  They both started thinking how this would be possible. While looking confused, they suddenly realised how that might be possible and so they stood up from their chairs.

  "Poison?" the assistant said.

  "Haha, if I was that kind of person, then I can assure you, you would both be my victims by now. You have just eaten a slice of cake and drank a cup of coffee each, that was two chances, yet you’re still standing, right? Please take a seat, I don't bite."

  "Sorry mam" Pc McDermott replied, "it's just that we have to investigate everything, as I'm sure you understand. By the way, John also claimed that you chased him in the car, is that true?"

  Andria thought carefully for a moment, whilst smiling to obscure her deep thought, then she replied.

  "We did play a little game yes, but nothing to serious. The game ended when he got through the train tracks before me, but I stopped as they started falling, as I am a law-abiding citizen, I can assure you. As well as that, I would never do anything to hurt John, I can assure you."

  Of course, if she denied it, perhaps a camera would have noticed her driving at that time? Andria was certainly not stupid; anyone could have been watching. After this, the officers shook hands with Andria and said Goodbye to her, after listening to everything she said and believing her.

  "Do stop by if your ever in the area, Cya."

  "Bye"......"Bye," they both said as they waved and drove off.

  At the prison, Hannah noticed that there was an awful prisoner who seemed to be holding someone against a wall. So, she decided to ask Aly about her.

  "Who's that?"

  "That's Annabel. She's the drug dealer, never get in her way or you won't get of lightly."

  Hannah knew that drugs could destroy people’s lives. This was not acceptable, especially since this dealer was so violent. No, it was time to please old Ruffian once again, and so she did. She left the cell and went looking for her. Finding her she spoke.

  "Hey Mrs Elliott, guess what I've found out?"

  "Caught more bad guys?"

  "Yes, Annabel. She had someone against the wall I noticed."

  Ruffian smiled. No doubt she already had her suspicions about Annabel, but now she could be certain.

  "Thanks for that Hannah, you’re a real help. Keep up the good work and it won't go unrewarded."

  Later on that day, Annabel's cell was raided by staff. As this was happening Ruffian was smiling at Annabel.

  "You've been witnessed dealing drugs and you've been seen threatening people. I'm not daft, how long has this been going on for?"

  "What you talking about?"

  "Don't mess with me!"

  "I am the top dog around here!"

  "There's no dog above me!" Annabel knew it was not worth arguing so she accepted defeat. Otherwise, no doubt Ruffian would have pushed her against the bed or the wall and hit her. Ruffian was not shy to old fashioned punishment; she would give people a good whack if she thought it appropriate.

  If anyone had challenged her and hit her back, she could make their lives hell, so they would not dare. Ruffian had all the power and she loved it that way. She walked away and past Hannah's cell while giving her a thumbs up and a wink. Aly noticed and turned to her.

  "What have you been up to?"

  "Nothing" Hannah replied.

  "You must've been, what you been doing?"

  "Just pleasing her as much as possible. But don't worry, it's only effecting the real bad guys."

  "You mean you grassing? Hannah, what did I tell you about grassing? You'll get yourself beat up."

  "If I get caught. Don't worry, I'd never grass on anyone in our friend group."

  Aly was not happy about what Hannah was doing, the risks she was taking, going against the most important unwritten rule of the prison, 'Thou Shalt Not Grass.' Here Hannah came along out of nowhere with her own set of rules and in doing so she was disrupting the social order. It would surely only be a matter of time until things would come back and bite her on the bum. Everyone gets caught eventually.

  Hannah had managed to do many good things in the prison, even Aly had to admit it. She had made her have a shower in the last few days, even though by ridiculous means, and she had made her wash her clothes. Alternatively, she could've ended up in prison clothes again had she not reformed and had the staff got fed up with smelling her from a distance. Hannah was doing her a favour.

  "By the way Aly, have you got rid of that book yet?"

  "What book?"

  "The one about robbing banks, which you’re not going to do, are you?"

  "Give it a rest woman, will you? If your there to stop me, then so be it! Otherwise, I just might do it."

  "Start appreciating yourself more. I'm not going to give up until you do."

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  John managed to call this Jake who he had just found out about. An agreement was made between them as to what would happen. Eventually being called by Hannah on the phone he told her all about it.

  John: Hello.

  Hannah: Hello John, any news? Did you find my paperwork?

  John: Yes I did, and I rang this Jake. An agreement has been made. They will ring him, and he will come around in about two months’ time ready for your release. This way he can talk with you properly.

  Hannah: That's great, anything else?

  John: One more thing, your best friend Andria tied me to a chair after I saw her with Turkish Delight.

  Hannah: Hahahaha. And?

  John: Well, isn't it obvious? She did it after I noticed she had the same sweets as the ones which killed my auntie. Now that my auntie is dead she's bought another box. I went to apologise for having said it and I ended up tied to a chair and then being chased.

  Hannah: (Silence) ... John, listen. I think your over thinking things. If you’re really worried, tell the inspector when he arrives. Andria has always been a bit rough with the lads, your no exception. I know what she's like as we went to school together.

  John: Well she doesn't seem like that type at first glance, she seems nice and like a normal person.

  Hannah: She is nice, but I'm not sure any of us are normal. She probably misread the signals and thought you liked her.

  John: This is ridiculous! I will get to the bottom of this! See you later Hannah.

  Hannah: Ok, see you later John.

  Hannah would not believe him, the police would not believe him, nobody would believe him. Poor John. He was terrified, thinking that she might come to the house at any time. He needed to go out and was hesitating to do so, there was no milk left and the bread was running out. Was his life worth a pint of milk? Apparently, it was worth the risk. John stepped out of the front door and looked to his left and right. He came down the steps and opened the car door without using the key, then thinking to himself, 'I'm sure I locked it? Maybe I forgot.'

  He was going to turn the engine on until he realised, he didn't have the key, then a few seconds later the doors locked, and he had no way of getting out. He tried the handle, but to no avail, he was stuck as if someone had locked it with the key by the button. After this, he stared into thin air for a good few moments, until......

  "Haharrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!" this loud voice suddenly shouted. Simultaneously, two hands came from out of nowhere and ended up over his shoulders and on his chest. His heart was pounding within him and racing like made. Who could possibly be behind him? It was none other than the one and only, Andria.

  "Got you!" she asserted, adding "and
there's nowhere to escape to this time."

  Helen and Kwiatoslaw were having a great time at the seaside after unpacking and having a coffee on their balcony. They had never been on a balcony before, certainly not together at least. This was all a new experience for them, as sadly they hardly ever went away together. They decided to set off for marriage guidance and get in the car once again.

  "Once we get back, we'll have a nice gin and tonic" Helen suggested as they were travelling. Of course, Kwiatoslaw could have had one already as he wasn't driving, but he didn't want to ruin the intentions of their time together and divide each other by making her feel upset as she watched him drink it.

  Arriving at the presbytery they rung the doorbell, to be greeted by an old lady called Pat.

  "Hello, can I help you?"

  "Yes, is Father here? We've got marriage guidance" Helen answered.

  "I'll go and get him."

  There was a pause, and as they stood there they admired the nice hallway with the clean brown carpet that ran along the floor, much cleaner than their carpets at home, so far. Interrupting their admiration, Pat came back and smiled at them.

  "He said you can come in."

  There were many doors in the hallway and a staircase at the other end. Pat took them through the second door on the left, in which there was two chairs near each other on one side and another chair on the other side of the room.

  "Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?"

  "Tea would be lovely Pat, thank you" Helen replied. As they waited, they had to admire this room also. There was a green carpet in here and a light brown wall. There was a light hanging down from the ceiling with a chandelier, and there were a few wall lights also. There was a computer which was turned off, and a little white board which seemed temporally set up. As they were sitting there, in came Father.

  "Hello Hannah, hello Kwiatoslaw." They both kissed his hand in respect and then Kwiatoslaw added a joke.

  "You’re the only person aside from family that can pronounce my name. Are you superman or something?"

  "I wish that were the case, but sadly not. You see, I like to get to really know my parishioners, even if it means checking on the internet how to pronounce someone’s name over and over. It all settles in eventually. As my Aunt used to say, 'teaching is the art of repetition.' I think that applies to teaching ourselves also."

  They both looked at the whiteboard and back, wondering if they would be subject to some kind of lesson. It turned out for them that this must be there for other things. They were both given a little book.

  "I want you to both read this little book about marriage before our next meeting and try the things which are suggested inside it and see if it works. Next week we can talk about any questions you have about it. This book has been put together by people who've had many years’ experience of marriage, and they are elderly people, who have a much lower divorce rate than our current generations will have by reaching their age."

  "Thank you Father" Helen replied, adding "we don't want a divorce, that's for sure. So, I hope this book of experience helps us a little."

  After spending about an hour chatting to Fr Marshall, they returned to the seaside and had a lovely evening together, before returning to the hotel.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Two Months Later

  In Manchester, Inspector Richard was getting ready to travel to Scotland, to yet investigate another crime as was his hobby as well as his job. Richard loved being the cause of the bringing about of justice. It made him feel like he had a purpose in life. While he was packing his things, there was a knock on the door. It was Molly his neighbour, once again.

  "Let me help you with your packing Richard."

  "You don't have to do that."

  "I insist. I might not see you for a while, so I want to say a proper goodbye. I'll give you a lift to the train station as well."

  "That's very kind of you Molly."

  She helped him finish the remainder of his packing that was not already done and then they headed to her car and he put his suitcase in.

  Arriving at the train station he took his suitcase out of the boot and they headed inside.

  "Let's have a coffee before I go Molly."

  They sat in the cafe upstairs and had an americano, Molly with milk and Richard without. Then they had a final chat.

  "So, you’re only taking one case then?"

  "Yes, I'm not you Molly, I don't need the kitchen sink."

  "Hahaha, oh. You" she said after tapping his shoulder, then adding, "I hope you’re not away for too long. I'll watch your flat while you’re gone."

  Of course, Molly had a key, but was instructed only to use it in emergencies, not that she always kept the rule, but that was their agreement. Being close friends, they now had much flexibility in their lives when it came to the formality of entering each other’s apartments.

  "Right, I'll be of now."

  He got up and headed for the train, which headed up north towards Edinburgh. The train was long and colourful, and finding his seat would be a bit of a job. He was planning to sit in first class, as was his custom, so that he could read through his paperwork while knowing not many others would be around. He liked the added bonus of breakfast being included, but his ticket was standard class, nevertheless. The trick he followed was always to purchase first class on the last minute, as this way it was cheaper, doing it in person when arriving. For not much more than £20, he would therefore get the breakfast and peace he desired, and he felt it was worth it this time, as he was going on such a long journey. In fact, it was over three hours this journey.

  On the train, Richard walked down the aisle in his long coat, putting his suitcase in its place, after taking his laptop out so that he could go over his case again and check for any updates on the matter at hand. Sitting down he first had his included breakfast as someone came over and spoke to him.

  "Tea? Coffee?" they asked.

  "Yes, thank you" he replied.

  "Both then?"

  ".........Oh, sorry about that, ha-ha. Coffee please."

  "No problem, just checking, there you go sir."

  After enjoying his nice bacon sandwich, he turned on his computer and opened his emails, while drinking his coffee. The coffee was sadly in a paper cup, something Richard hated with a passion, and only ordered because it was included. As far as he was concerned if it was in paper it tasted like paper. Hence, he could not wait to arrive in Edinburgh and stop somewhere for a 'real cup of coffee.'

  Up at the prison, Hannah said her final goodbyes to the friends she had made, getting ready to be picked up from prison by John. Ruffian came over and whispered to her.

  "I'll see you on the outside."

  To this, Hannah smiled and pretended to agree, then carrying on with her goodbye's.

  "See you later Aly, I will miss you."

  "I will miss you Aly, you changed me! All those showers you made me have! It's made a lot more people stop avoiding me and now I feel much better about myself."

  "Glad to be of service. At least this means I don't have to change you when you get out."

  "Hahaha don't push your luck! Now, I'll see you on the other side."

  "Don't forget to send a visiting order. It was lovely to meet you Aly."

  Arriving at the prison desk, she spoke to the manager.

  "See you later Mrs Trafford, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for looking after me while I was in here. Hopefully, I won't be returning, except to visit."

  "You can visit here any time, without a visiting order. Just ask for me at the desk if I am not standing here already, and I'll take you though, even though I'm not supposed to."

  Mrs Trafford kindly rang John for her to alert him that she was ready to be picked up. Many of the other staff who had met her came to say bye, as she got ready to finally leave those big heavy locked doors and escape to the wonderful outside world.

  Hannah stepped outside to be greeted by John.

  "I'm glad you�
�re out, I've been waiting a long time for this."

  "How do you think I feel? I couldn't wait to get out of that place. I missed the lovely walks I used to take through the semi-countryside, I missed seeing the people I care about, and I missed the freedom I used to have. In there they made me work!"

  "You worked? Now you know how everyone else feels."

  John tried to stop himself from laughing, before commenting again.

  "I can't believe you worked."

  Hannah looked serious, giving him a stern stair.

  "And I see that your still alive then? So, Andria did not kill you after all? I knew you was overthinking."

  "Don't mention her! She is a psychopath! I don't want to be anywhere near her" John exclaimed.

  "Looks like I've hit a nerve, don't worry, I'll be speaking to her about you later, so I'll find out what's been going on one way or another."

  John was not giving away anything. His pride had been hurt enough by her actions and he was stubbornly refusing to think about the matter. They arrived at the house, awaiting the inspector who planned to come on the day of her release.

  Upon entering Orangely Hall, Hannah got a massive surprise.

  "Welcome Home!!!"

  Everyone was standing there before her and the room was full. Standing there were her grandparents, Andria her best friend, and many others who were at the earlier party of Jacks. Also present was Alison who previously appeared to not like her very much, but who appeared to be coming around. There were balloons everywhere and a big banner which read 'Welcome Home.' Music was blasting and Hannah was suddenly overwhelmed. She expected a sad quiet entrance into her big empty house and was instead greeted by everyone that cared for her.

  "So nice to see you, couldn't wait for this" her Grandma said, hugging her.

  "I bet you organised this didn't you!"

  "Well, not really. It was John who phoned everyone, I just arrived last night and stayed over to settle in."

  John would not take all the credit, nevertheless.