Waking Hearts

by Elizabeth Hunter

  “Yeah, it’s in the back of the fridge. Tell me when you want me to put the salad together and I’ll hand off the baby.”

  Becca was chewing on Ted’s fingers, but the doctor didn’t seem to mind. Ted was the town’s only physician, so she was a pro with babies, even if she hadn’t had one of her own.

  Allie winked at her. “So, has Alex convinced you yet?”

  It was well known among their friends that Alex McCann, Ted’s new husband, was more than eager to start a family, even if he did have final construction on the Cambio Springs Resort and Spa to finish.

  Ted played with Becca’s dark curls of hair and said, “I think maybe next year. This year is so busy. Once I have a nurse-practitioner hired at the clinic, I won’t feel quite so crazy.”

  The economic revitalization that Alex McCann had planned when he started building the resort had already started. Families who had moved away for work were slowly moving back, leaving Ted with more patients than she’d ever had at her clinic. Jena too was putting together a team to work with her at the restaurant at the resort, where she would run the kitchen as head chef while her parents took over the diner.

  And Allie was juggling two jobs and four kids, wondering when she’d be able to stop taking charity to pay for groceries.

  Trying to convince herself the shamed flush in her cheeks was because of the stove, she ran through the menu for dinner. “Ted, I think you can put the salad together now because the meat is almost done. Jena, can you call the older boys in and have them start setting the tables? Ask the guys to oversee the kids and make sure everyone has drinks.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Jena walked over and picked up her daughter, blowing a raspberry on the giggling little girl’s cheek.

  Rebecca Doli Gilbert had been a little bit of a surprise for Allie’s oldest friend. Jena hadn’t expected any more babies after her husband Lowell had died. She’d been content with her two boys. But then, she’d never expected to fall head over heels in love with the town’s new chief of police, either.

  The kitchen door swung shut and Ted pulled out a cutting board and set it next to the stove near Allie.

  “So,” she said, “I wasn’t able to talk to Dr. Carlisle in San Bernardino yet. He’s visiting his wife’s family in Denver until late next week, so I don’t know much more than Caleb. Once he gets back, Larry will give me more details.”

  Allie nodded. “He’s a friend?”

  “We’re friendly. He’s pretty old-school. He gets it about small towns taking care of their own, you know? Even if it’s not technically my jurisdiction.”

  “Is there anything else you can tell me?”

  “One of the techs said the remains looked like they were around ten months old, but that’s really hard to judge. Especially when…”

  Allie squeezed her eyes shut. “Animals?”

  Ted nodded.

  “Not anything that would be a surprise to us,” Allie said, continuing to stir the carne asada. “Joe’s natural form was a coyote. Scavengers only seem fitting.”

  Ted coughed into her shoulder. “Dammit, Allie. You’re not supposed to make jokes about that.”

  “You telling me you and Caleb missed that irony?”

  “No, but he’s a cop and I’m a doctor. We’re supposed to be twisted.”

  “I wouldn’t joke around the kids. You guys?” She shrugged. “I can’t be his grieving widow.”

  “Aren’t you upset?”

  Was she? Ollie had asked her the other night and she’d avoided the question. She took a deep breath and turned off the heat under the meat.

  “Yes. And no. I don’t know how I feel. It’s not real yet. All I can think about is the kids.”

  Ted’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, I can see that.”

  “Know what I felt?” She pressed her hands on the cool tile of the counter. “After I’d told Kevin and Mark? After Ollie had left with the bourbon?”

  “Ollie came over for a drink?”

  “Just for a bit.” She shook her head. “I felt… relief. Isn’t that horrible?”

  Ted was quiet for a long time. Then she said in a small voice, “I don’t think that’s horrible.”

  “It is horrible. It’s awful. He’s their father. He’s—he was my husband.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “And when I heard that he was probably dead? I felt relief. That the kids wouldn’t think he’d abandoned them. That I wouldn’t have to drag them through some long, awful divorce. That I wouldn’t have to worry about him taking them away. And that’s horrible. Because they lost their dad. And part of me hates that it didn’t break my heart. I feel… sad. Horribly sad. For them.”

  She closed her eyes and felt Ted’s arm around her shoulders.

  “I think you feel however you feel,” Ted said. “There’s no rules for grief. There’s no rules that you have to grieve a man who made your life miserable, just because he fathered your kids.”

  Allie wiped away her tears and went to wash her hands before she dried them on the apron she wore over her Sunday dress. “Let’s talk about something else, okay? Once we know for sure, I’ll talk about it. I don’t want to waste any more tears on that man unless I have to.”

  “Fair enough.” Ted started dicing tomatoes. “So, how’s your love life?”

  Allie laughed so hard she scared the dog.

  THERE was a bench on Ollie’s front porch, an old swinging bench that someone had mounted years ago. The sun was setting over the mesa, and Caleb, Alex, and Sean were cleaning the kitchen when Allie finally sat in it, closing her eyes against the last rays that bathed the desert. The little boys were watching a movie in the living room while Jena and Ted let Loralie change Baby Becca’s clothes like she was the best living dolly ever.

  Other than scattered voices drifting from the house, it was quiet. So beautifully quiet… until she heard teenage feet shuffling up the steps, then a solid tread coming behind them. A boy and a bear.

  Allie kept her eyes closed as Kevin and Ollie approached.

  Kevin whispered, “Should I—”

  “Leave it and ask her later. She’s been working all afternoon.”

  “I’m awake,” she said. “Just resting my eyes.”

  She felt Kevin sit next to her. “I have a question for you. I mean, Ollie and I have a deal, but he said that I had to check with you first.”

  She cracked her eyes open to see the miniature man sitting next to her. Well, kind of miniature. He was taller than her by a good eight inches, and his muscles were filling out a little more every day, but he was still her baby. Her baby that looked like he hadn’t shaved since Friday morning before he went to school.

  He had stubble. When did her baby get stubble?

  “What’s up?”

  “You know the money I saved up from working at Grandpa’s store?”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Well…” Kevin glanced at Ollie and continued. “I’ve been doing some research online about blue book values and restoring cars. And Ollie has an old Charger in the barn that he hasn’t really fixed up yet, and he agreed to sell it to me and help me work on it, but I have to ask you first, so can I?”

  “Wait.” She sat up at the nervous stream of words. “Okay. You’ve got money saved up from your job at the feed shop.”

  “Yes.”

  “And Ollie has a car that you can afford.” She looked at Ollie. “A fair price? He’s got to earn this. No giveaways.”

  Ollie nodded. “It’s fair. The Dodge isn’t in good shape, but it does run. He looked up the blue book value and his offer is in the range.”

  Allie looked at Kevin.

  A car? How had that happened?

  Not that having another person who could drive in the house wouldn’t be a relief.

  Kevin held up his hands, ticking off points he’d obviously planned out ahead of time. “I’m going to need a car to help out around the house, and spending money on this is better than buying some newer car that’s only going to go down in value. With this one, t
he value will go up the more work I put into it. And I still have seven months before I get my license, so I have time to fix it up. Ollie says I can keep it here while I’m working on it and use his shop. By the time I get my license, it’ll be mostly done. He’s gonna show me how to pull out the dents and work on the engine and everything. Any parts I need he thinks I’ll be able to get cheap from the wrecking yard instead of having to buy brand-new stuff.”

  Allie looked at Ollie. “Do you have time for all this?”

  “I told him Saturday afternoons. And in exchange for my helping him, he’s gonna do grunt work for me while I’m fixing up the Ford.”

  “The ’55?”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  There was a nearly original 1955 Ford pickup truck Ollie had been working on for almost a year. Allie drooled over that pickup, imagining it finished and painted a bright sky blue. She’d almost volunteered to work on the Ford herself.

  Kevin continued. “I don’t have football anymore, so I’ll still be able to work at the feed shop and watch the kids on your work nights. But if I work every Saturday—”

  “Kev, I think it’s a great plan.”

  A rare smile broke out on her beautiful boy’s face. “Really?”

  “Really. You’ve planned ahead and saved up your money. I’m really proud of you. If you’re willing to put in the work, then I approve. Sounds like a good deal.”

  He leaned over and gave her a tight squeeze. “Thanks, Mom!” Then he jumped up. “I’m gonna go tell Low. Ollie, can we—”

  “You can go hang in the barn with your car,” he said. “You know how to turn on the lights. Just make sure none of the little kids go exploring in there.”

  “Okay!”

  Kevin ran around the house, and Ollie sat down next to her on the swing. It creaked ominously but held.

  Allie poked at the chain. “Sturdy. Must have been made for bears.”

  “There is no delicate furniture in this house. Pop made sure of that.”

  “You sure you have time for this?”

  He looked down, his arms crossed over his chest. “It’s Kevin. I have time. He didn’t sign up for the football team this year?”

  “He gave it up so he could work more.” She took a chance that her hormones wouldn’t go into overdrive if she smelled him and leaned against his shoulder. It felt almost criminally good. “And to help me out. I told him he didn’t have to, but…”

  “The boy understands responsibility better than most grown men.”

  “He’s such a good kid. How did I end up with the world’s best teenager?”

  “It’s not exactly a surprise. You’re a great mom. And I’m sure he still has his moments.”

  “He does, but not many.” She relaxed into Ollie’s side, grateful that he’d left his arms crossed across his chest. If he’d done anything like put an arm along the back of the bench, Allie was fairly sure she’d melt into his lap and lose whatever shreds of dignity she was clinging to around him. “Sometimes I worry I put too much on him.”

  Ollie paused. “He liked football, but he wasn’t crazy about it. He’s learning about loyalty and responsibility and taking care of the people who are important to him. That’s better than football.”

  She didn’t have anything to say to that, but his words reassured her. Murtry wandered out of the kitchen and plopped down on Allie’s foot.

  “Speaking of loyalty,” Ollie said. “That dog has none when it’s between you and me.”

  “He likes Loralie the best.”

  “That’s ’cause Lala feeds him the most food and her face is right at licking level.”

  She laughed and felt his shoulder shaking along with her.

  “Thanks for letting me use the kitchen.”

  “Anytime.”

  “I should come over and make you some real food,” she said. “Thank you for all the work you do around my house.”

  Allie knew Ollie was the designated handyman for her since he lived so close. Sean would come by sometimes, especially if it was a problem with the old plumbing. And Alex and Caleb stopped by occasionally. But she was fairly sure that Ollie got called anytime she mentioned something wrong with the house to Jena or Ted.

  “Don’t mind helping out,” he said quietly. “Anything you need.”

  The corner of her mouth twitched and she peeked up at him. “Maybe start talking in complete sentences instead of grunts when you come over? If you’re gonna work on that ‘not being an asshole’ thing with me.”

  His eyes slid to hers, quiet humor crinkling the corners. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  That low rumble of a voice about did in the last of her restraint, and Allie was seconds away from blurting something ridiculous when she heard the screen door slam and Sean Quinn stepped onto the porch.

  He’d returned to town the year before, right after his cousin Marcus had been killed, but Allie knew Sean was still debating whether or not he would stay in the Springs or drift away again. He wasn’t a settled guy like Ollie.

  What he was, was trouble.

  A wicked smile curved the corners of Sean’s mouth when he spotted the two of them, and he ran over, scooping Allie off the porch and into his arms.

  “No!” he yelled. “She’s the last single one. You can’t have her, Smokey!”

  Allie started laughing, half-relieved that Sean had interrupted what likely would have been an embarrassing scene, half-irritated he’d likely throw out his back carting her around.

  “Sean, put me down!”

  “Nope.”

  “I’m too heavy.”

  “Please.” He pinched her thigh. “You’re what the old man would call ‘a tasty bit.’”

  A low growl came from the porch.

  “Sean.” She dropped her voice. “Put me down.”

  He stopped halfway to the garage and set her on her feet. “Did I piss you off? I was just playing.”

  “I know.” And flirting with her, making her feel like a girl instead of a mom, which was a nice change. “But I think Ollie was worried you were going to drop me.”

  “Sir Growls-a-Lot over there?” Another sharp grin cracked his face. “I don’t think he was worried I was going to drop you, Al.”

  “Whatever. It’s not smart to poke a bear.”

  “Yeah?” He bent down and wrapped an arm around her waist, dropping a kiss on her cheek in the process. “Well, it’s not good to take a fox for granted, either.”

  Allie frowned. “I don’t—”

  “Think about it.” He started walking back to the house. “And come back in the kitchen. Alex and Ted brought ice cream.”

  A door slammed in the distance, and she knew that by the time she walked back to the porch, Ollie would be gone.

  THERE was a rap at the door the next day, just after her dad had rolled away from the front door with all four kids on the way to school and Allie was putting another load of laundry in the wash.

  “Who forgot lunch?” she muttered, checking the kitchen counters to see which lunch bag hadn’t made it into a backpack. Hmm. None there. She answered the door, surprised to see Ollie on her porch.

  “Hey! I was expecting a forgetful child. What’s up?”

  “Needed to talk to you.”

  The bar was closed on Mondays. And why wouldn’t he have just called?

  “Okay.”

  She was just about to motion him in when Ollie stepped back and nodded to the old Bronco in the driveway.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Pop wants to have a word. About Joe.”

  She let out a breath. “Right.”

  “Do you have time? I thought the kids would all be in school.”

  She nodded. “Just give me a minute. I need to hang some laundry before it spoils.”

  The dryer had been one of the first things she gave up when money got tight. It only heated up the house in the summertime, and the dry air made hanging the wash more practical than wasting money on electricity.

  “I’ll help.�
�

  “That’s all right!” Oh, please no. “I’ll just be a minute.”

  “It’ll be faster if I help.” He stepped off the porch and headed to the backyard. “I have hung laundry before.”

  Allie watched him go. “Okay then.”

  So what if most of this load was her underwear and nightgowns? It wouldn’t be the first time Ollie had seen a woman’s underwear. Of course, it was the first time he’d seen her underwear, but she refused to be embarrassed about it.

  After all, she had nothing to be ashamed of. Pretty undies were Allie’s one vice. No granny panties for this girl, no matter how many kids she had. She’d thrown out every bit of underwear or lingerie that Joe had ever seen or touched, so everything she had was new, and it was all a little indulgent, thanks to her sisters and a very nice shopping spree.

  Allie wore lace, and she slept in silk.

  She picked up the basket of damp clothes and walked out to the clothesline to see Ollie staring at a scrap of pink lace that was fluttering in the breeze. His hands were clenched at his sides, and there was a tinge of red on his cheeks above his beard.

  Allie didn’t say a word, just put down the basket and grabbed one of the pins from the hanging bag. She pulled out a purple pair of panties and hung them, careful not to snag the delicate material. After a frozen minute, Ollie silently reached down and grabbed the first thing he touched, which ended up being a blue silk nightgown with white lace trim.

  “Make sure you use the plastic pins, not the wooden ones.”

  He cleared his throat. “Okay.”

  “Splinters.”

  “Seriously?” he muttered under his breath.

  “Would you like splinters in your butt when you put your undies on in the morning?”

  “My boxers aren’t as… tight as these.”

  And now she was thinking about him in boxers. Just boxers.

  “Well, girls don’t wear boxers.”

  “Maybe they should consider it,” he growled.

  “What would be the fun in that?”

  Ollie pulled another nightgown from the basket as Allie hung the matching purple bra. She saw Ollie eyeing it from the side, and when he reached down, he froze. There were no more nightgowns. The only thing left in the basket was a pile of bras and panties. Mostly panties.