Twice Shy

by Sally Malcolm

  “Would you and Ollie be able to run the car wash together?” She offered an ingratiating smile to the rest of the group. “Now we’ve got a couple of young men, we might as well use them.”

  Ollie threw Joel a startled look and Joel had to work hard to keep an unexpected bark of laughter behind his teeth. “I guess it depends on the date, but I’m pretty free at weekends.” As in, always free at weekends.

  “I’ll definitely be there,” Ollie said.

  “Marvelous.” Jackie clapped her hands. “Now, next up is the October Fun Run…”

  By the end of the meeting, the committee of the New Milton Elementary School Parent Teacher Association had polished off six bottles of wine between them. Jackie, Alyssa, and several others looked like they were settling in for the night, but Ollie reached for his jacket and slid out of the booth as soon as the last agenda item was covered off. “I need to go,” he said, “but I’ll get onto the Majestic and let you know how it goes.”

  “Mwah!” Jackie blew him a kiss from the far side of the booth, eyelashes fluttering. “You’re a darling!”

  Honestly, Joel thought as he stood up, she’s old enough to be his mother. He caught Alyssa’s eyeroll and had to look away before he cracked a grin. Ollie was checking his phone, but there was a self-conscious tinge of pink beneath his clear skin.

  “Everything okay?” Joel asked as they headed out of the bar together.

  “No messages.” Ollie gave a small tense laugh. “I know it’s stupid to be so worried. It’s just that I haven’t left Rory with a stranger before and sometimes he gets anxious.”

  “Sure.” Joel pushed open the door, holding it for Ollie. “That’s natural.”

  Ollie nodded, took a deep breath of cool evening air, and pocketed his phone. “I’m probably more worried than he is.”

  “No doubt.”

  He smiled more broadly and said, “So you think Jackie really doesn’t realize I’m gay or…?”

  “Honestly? I think she’s totally oblivious.”

  “Is it gonna be a problem?”

  “With Jackie? No. And if it was, Alyssa would set her right.” He sighed. “Can’t speak for all the parents at the school, mind you. Some people still have dumb ideas.” He threw Ollie a look. “Which I’m sure you know.”

  “Yeah.” The heaviness in his voice sounded wrong coming from someone so young. “’Single gay dad’ crosses a lot of red lines for people.”

  Joel’s curiosity rose again, but there were professional boundaries to maintain. He glanced at his watch—eight thirty. If he left now, he could still get to the hardware store before it closed. “So, you’ll let me know what they say up at the Majestic? Looks like you and I are running this shindig.”

  “Sure. Shall I—? Should we exchange numbers, or should I contact you via the school or…?”

  Joel hesitated, then realized he was being stupid. This was nothing more than school business. It’s not like Ollie was hitting on him. No way would a cute young guy like him be interested. Which was good, because Joel wasn’t interested either. He reached for his phone. “Let’s exchange numbers. Quicker that way.”

  Once that was done, they fell into an awkward silence, standing in the parking lot watching each other. Music drifted from the Rock House, getting louder as someone entered and then muting when the door banged shut behind them. “Well,” Ollie said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He was wearing gray and white sneakers, the plastic on one of the toes peeling away and the fabric beneath fraying. “I should get back. But I’m glad I came.” He pulled a comical face. “I think.”

  Joel huffed a laugh. “Yeah, no escaping now.”

  “I figured.”

  Joel reached out as if to shake hands, but that felt too formal so at the last moment he diverted his hand and ended up giving Ollie an awkward, avuncular pat on the arm. Which was way worse. “You’re in the PTA for good now, Mr. Snow.” Oh God. Really?

  But Ollie just laughed and ran a hand through his curls. “I guess I am, Mr. Morgan.”

  Chapter Five

  “Okay, don’t freak out.” Ollie braced himself as he hit the turn signal and headed down the long drive to the Majestic Hotel. “He might not even be there.”

  True to his word, Ollie was visiting the hotel in person to ask about using their driveway for the charity car wash. But what Jackie Olsen and Mr. Morgan hadn’t known last night, at the PTA meeting, was that Ollie had an ulterior motive for approaching the Majestic.

  He wanted to get to know the hotel owners. Well, one of them specifically.

  Several cars were parked out front and Ollie pulled up clear across the gravel driveway from the grand old building. He didn’t have long—he was on his way to work—but allowed himself a moment to take a deep breath and calm down before trekking across the drive to the hotel. It was a cool morning, the tang of woodsmoke in the air heralding the arrival of fall, and the hotel’s elegant stained-glass front door stood closed. A door to both his past and his future, Ollie thought, and it felt momentous when he pushed it open and stepped inside. He found himself standing in a grand entrance hall with a sweeping staircase dominating the far side and a lingering scent of coffee and baked goods drifting from the dining room, along with the sounds of clinking crockery and quiet conversation. They were still serving breakfast.

  To his left stood an old-fashioned reception desk made of dark wood and complete with an honest-to-god silver bell. He hesitated to ring for attention, afraid that ringing the bell would summon him. Luca Moretti.

  Despite the sounds coming from the breakfast room, the foyer was quiet. Ollie’s sneakers squeaked on the tiled floor as he walked to the desk. He hesitated for a moment, but nobody appeared from the back office and he didn’t have time to wait around. Wiping sweaty palms on the back of his jeans, he reached out and picked up the bell, giving it a gentle shake. The tinkling ring echoed around the foyer and he set the bell down quickly, backing up a step. But when the door behind the desk opened the guy who stepped out was smiling. Tallish and slim, with thick dark hair and a slightly awkward air, he was handsome—but he wasn’t Luca Moretti. Ollie recognized him from the hotel’s website as Luca’s partner, Theo Wishart.

  “Good morning,” Theo said in a crisp English accent. “How can I help you?”

  Thrown, Ollie hesitated. “Er—hi. I was looking for, um, Luca Moretti?”

  “Luca? He’s not here right now.” Theo’s eyes didn’t quite meet Ollie’s, but he ran an appraising gaze over his worn sneakers and hoodie. “Is it about the surf school? Because if so, he’ll be heading down to the beach in a moment to take the morning class out. You might catch him.”

  “No. No, it’s not—” Ollie cleared his throat and tried to pull his shit together. “I’m actually here on behalf of the New Milton Elementary School. I was hoping to talk to somebody about using the Majestic as a venue for a PTA fundraiser.”

  “Oh!” Theo’s smile broadened. “In that case, you can talk to me. Luca and I run the hotel together. What is it you’re looking for?”

  Ten minutes later, Ollie trotted down the porch steps with a grin on his lips and a list of three possible dates for the car wash. Pulling out his phone, he texted Mr. Morgan the potential dates, pleased when a reply shot right back.

  Great job, Mr. Snow!

  He wasn’t sure why, but Morgan’s praise—even for something so simple—gave him a buzz. Maybe it was because the guy was a teacher, but his approval made Ollie feel that maybe he really could do this fatherhood thing after all. Organizing events for the PTA had to be at least second-level parenting, right?

  Smiling, he pocketed his phone and was about the head over to his car when he heard the hotel’s door open behind him. He turned and caught his breath. There he was, Luca Moretti in person. He wore summer well: tall, tan, and toned, with sunglasses pushed up into a disheveled mop of beachy-blond hair. He smiled as he headed down the porch—“Morning!”—and disappeared around the back of the hotel into the garden.
/>   For a frozen moment, Ollie stood immobile.

  And then he was moving, running after him. This was why he’d come, wasn’t it? He wasn’t about to waste the opportunity fate had landed in his lap. His heart raced, making him sound breathless when he called out, “Luca Moretti?”

  Luca turned with a polite smile and the blank-eyed regard of a stranger. “Hey. Can I help you?”

  Mouth dry, Ollie slowed as he drew nearer. His legs felt weak, palms tingling with nerves. He wiped them on his jeans. “I, uh… Wow, this is going to, um…” Luca watched him politely, but Ollie saw him glance subtly at his watch. “This probably isn’t the right time…” Christ, was there a right time? He offered his hand to shake, embarrassed that his voice trembled as he said, “My name’s Oliver Snow.”

  A beat of perplexed silence followed. Luca showed no sign of recognition. “Uh, okay.” He shook Ollie’s hand, his grip firm. “Good to meet you.”

  “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

  “I’m sorry, no.” Luca laughed awkwardly. “Theo takes care of most of the bookings, so—”

  “I’m not a guest.” Ollie’s face heated as he flexed his hand, the warmth of Luca’s grip still lingering. “I’m— I guess I’m not surprised you don’t know about me. My, uh, father…” The smile fell from Luca’s face, but he didn’t say anything, just stood watching Ollie with the look of a man eyeing a snake. Fingers clenching into a fist, Ollie plowed on. “My father was Marco Moretti. You and I are brothers.”

  Nothing.

  Silence, save the distant boom-crash of the surf and the breeze-stirred rustle of the trees that edged the Majestic’s garden. Ollie swallowed, thoughts spinning wildly.

  Two years after the death of his sister, he’d decided to find his one remaining sibling. Well, half-sibling. He and Luca shared a father. If by ‘father’ you meant the guy who had impregnated your mother and then fucked off into the wild blue yonder. But they were still family. And it had seemed like a good idea when he was lost and lonely, a lifeline offering hope and a new start. A hope that had brought him to New Milton.

  A hope that faltered in the face of Luca’s cold silence. Ollie cleared his throat nervously. “I, uh, I’m sorry if this is a shock but I wanted to—”

  “No.” Luca put both hands up, stepping backward. “I don’t know who the hell you are, or what you want, but I’m not interested.”

  It felt like a punch, knocked the breath right out of him. This wasn’t how he’d imagined their meeting. Hell, he hardly knew how he’d imagined this moment, he only knew that Rory and Luis had lost their parents and needed all the family Ollie could give them. And Luca Moretti was family. “All I want is for you to meet—”

  “I said, I’m not interested.” Luca backed up further, his expression suddenly stormy. “I’m not doing this. I’m sorry.”

  And with that, he turned and stalked across the dew-damp grass, swiping angrily at a low hanging branch as he disappeared through a stand of trees and out onto the clifftop beyond.

  Ollie didn’t follow, couldn’t move from the spot. He felt rooted in the damp grass, unable to drag air into his paralyzed lungs. He hadn’t been expecting open-armed acceptance, he wasn’t that naïve, but the raw anger on Luca’s face shocked him. Luca was horrified.

  So was that it? After months of anticipation, was it over just like that?

  The hell it was. Ollie refused to accept it was over. This was just a…a setback. He realized, then, how stupid he’d been to just spring this on Luca. He should have given him more warning, emailed him first or something. But that didn’t mean it was over.

  Ollie sucked in a shuddering breath, forced his tense muscles to relax, his fisted fingers to unfurl. Luca needed time, that was all. He needed time to get used to the idea that he had a brother. And that meant Ollie needed to back the hell off and give him space.

  Today had been a mistake, but it wasn’t the end. And at least he’d broken the ice; Luca knew he existed. Ollie just needed to convince him he wanted a brother and two young nephews in his life.

  How hard could that be?

  Chapter Six

  Charity Car Wash, Saturday September 28th

  The last weekend in September dawned clear and fresh, the lingering summer warmth clinging on by its fingernails. Soon it would be gone, swept away by the first fall storm, but for now it was perfect. Just warm enough for shorts with a hoodie on top. Which was lucky, Joel thought as he cycled into the Majestic’s large driveway, because they were going to get wet today.

  A large banner announcing ‘Charity Car Wash’ had already been hung from the hotel porch, and Joel spotted Jackie striding about, clipboard in hand, while a couple of other dragooned moms set up the refreshment stand. Lots of excited kids had arrived early, frolicking and giggling. And among them stood Ollie Snow, talking with Alyssa. Joel slowed, coming to a stop and dismounting. Dressed in board shorts, flip-flops, and a slim-fitting hoodie, Ollie threw back his head in a carefree laugh and Joel’s stomach gave a startling flutter.

  The hell?

  Transfixed, breathless as an out of shape smoker trying to get out of his recliner, Joel found he couldn’t move. Couldn’t look away. The thing was, he hadn’t realized Ollie’s dark brown hair was really a subtle shade of auburn, but the morning sunlight was glinting against red highlights in his curls and Joel was captivated by the unusual color—like a very dark merlot, or a garnet. Striking against Ollie’s fair skin.

  Ollie Snow was a striking guy, no doubt about it. He was attractive.

  I’m attracted to him.

  It had been a long time—a long time—since Joel had been attracted to anyone, male or female, so it came as a shock to find his gaze lingering on Ollie’s slender hips and the flash of bare skin revealed above the top of his shorts when he reached up to fix a sign on the refreshment stand.

  He supposed Amy would call this an ‘interesting development’.

  “Mr. Morgan!” Jackie trilled from the Majestic’s porch. “Just in time! We’re desperate for your help. I need you and Ollie organizing the car wash. Alyssa’s on refreshments and I’ll be floating.”

  Joel waved in acknowledgement of his orders, casting a quick glance back towards Ollie, and was alarmed to find him heading his way.

  “Hey,” Ollie called as he drew closer. He had Luis perched on one hip and was dragging his stroller behind him across the gravel. It looked like hard work. “Nice ride,” Ollie said, his admiring gaze roving over Joel’s bike. “Very nice.”

  “Oh, thanks.” Flustered by the flutter in the pit of his belly, Joel avoided making eye contact and smiled at Luis instead. “Hey, buddy, how’re you doing?”

  “Ready to wash some cars, right?” Ollie said and Luis babbled, squirming to get down. “You cycle much?” Ollie set Luis on his feet. “I used to, back in Colorado Springs.” He sounded wistful. “There were some sweet trails around Cheyenne Mountain.”

  “There are some pretty nice trails around here, too.” Joel offered a cautious smile. “Fewer mountains, I guess, but a couple of nice family trails along the coast. You could take the boys.”

  “Yeah, well, I’d need a bike for that. And some place to store it, and…” He offered a rueful smile and Joel felt awkward, afraid he’d been tactless. “Anyway. I’m glad you’re here—I can barely control two kids let alone fifteen and a hosepipe.”

  Glad of the change of subject, Joel said, “Luckily, I like nothing better than spending Saturday morning washing cars with fifteen over-excited grade-schoolers.”

  “Lucky for me,” Ollie laughed. “But thanks. I mean, you totally don’t have to do any of this. It’s not your job, and they’re not your kids.”

  Joel kept his expression neutral as he pulled off his cycling gloves, suppressing the pang of hurt. How could Ollie know that stung? “I’m happy to help. It is my school, at least.”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean—” Maybe his tone had been a little off because Ollie frowned. “I just meant that I appreciate your ti
me. Really. I’m sure you’d rather be—” He broke off, staring, but when Joel followed his gaze, he only saw a man leaving the hotel.

  Luca Moretti, in fact.

  Moretti didn’t so much as glance their way, but Ollie appeared fascinated. And Joel didn’t miss the flush rising in his cheeks, or the way he gnawed at his bottom lip while he watched Moretti walk quickly around the side of the Majestic and disappear into the gardens. Attraction or curiosity? He couldn’t quite decipher Ollie’s rapt expression.

  Still watching him, Joel said, “It was good of Moretti to let us use the hotel.”

  “Huh?” Ollie blinked, as if forcing the world back into focus. “Oh, yeah. Although I’ve mostly been dealing with Theo.”

  Joel hummed a wordless acknowledgment and pulled off his cycle helmet, running a hand through his hair and no doubt making it stand up in damp spikes. “I don’t really know Theo. British, right?” He started wheeling his bike toward the porch.

  “Right.” Ollie grabbed Luis’s hand and followed, still dragging the stroller behind him. “Theo’s great. He even collected donations from some of the guests who want their cars washed. The kids are gonna be busy today.”

  “And they’re gonna be wet today.” Joel nodded toward the gaggle of children already unwinding a long hosepipe. Several bright orange buckets stood nearby, waiting to be filled. “I brought a change of clothes, just in case.”

  Ollie laughed. “Right. Because you’re a sensible guy.”

  Joel lifted an eyebrow in silent comment. “I just understand risk—and there’s no way we don’t get soaked to the skin today.”

  And he wasn’t wrong.

  Three hours later, Joel stood in a soggy patch of gravel next to the outside faucet watching Ollie Snow and his group of kids soaping down their tenth and—please God— final car.

  The sun had retreated behind an advancing bank of gray cloud and the day was taking on a decidedly autumnal chill. Especially when you were wearing a pair of damp shorts and a t-shirt that still hadn’t dried off after Troy Miller thought it would be hilarious to spray down his classmates instead of the car.