While I was making sure no evidence existed Nicole picked up the large knife the guy had dropped and proceeded to carve out a symbol of some sorts on Damien’s exposed chest. She quickly finished her work and would explain later that the symbol was an insignia from a gang from Mexico. She wiped off the blood onto his pants and then said, “Let’s get out of here!”
We were parked several blocks away and we had to travel in the unlit alleys to get to our destination. As we rushed through this landscape it was as if we were commandos on a secret mission somewhere in a foreign land. We tried to be quiet as it was a warm night and people would have their windows open. We did not see anyone on the streets or in their yards. Once we arrived at Nicole’s car we jumped in and took off, heading to the freeway which we saw as our safe point; a familiar artery taking us away from enemy territory.
Once we were on the freeway we immediately looked for an exit since it was 3am and traffic was light, therefore the chance of being pulled over was higher. We needed to take the tape off the license plates – once that was done we would merely be two young women out for an innocent drive. We turned and noticed a taco place with a 24 hour drive up window. We pulled over in the far end of the parking area of the nearby mall, removed the tape, and then drove over to grab some food. We parked and tried to unwind from our successful excursion.
Nicole leaned back in the driver’s seat and bragged, “Wow! We were so awesome tonight! Did you see the look on those guy’s faces when the bullets started flying? That was four in one night, not bad for a couple of women, huh?” I was still hyped due to the adrenaline rush. Still I asked, “What took you so long to shoot them? I thought I was dead for sure!” She stopped eating her taco a moment, swallowed, and replied, “What took you so long to shoot them? I waited a second for you to begin.” I replied, “I forgot to release the safety.” She looked at me with a stern, yet comical expression, grabbed me by the hair and, mimicking ghetto slang said, “Look woman, don’t let dat ever happen gin or I’ll smack you up! Don’t wanna have nuthin happen to my bitch!” We broke up laughing and she apologized before giving me a kiss. I asked if we should head back to Portland after we ate but she commented, “No way! I am not going to drive four hours now. Besides, if we come in late maybe the neighbors are going to become suspicious. Let’s go back to the room and celebrate, if you know what I mean.” Then she started counting on her fingers, “Hey, you realize that if we count from the day Mark killed that lawyer our little group, or what is left of it, has now reached twenty two kills?” I responded, “Gosh, Nicole that makes it sound like a video game!” She laughed, “Yeah, I guess it does, so what’s the next level going to involve?” I inquired as to what she meant and she said “Oh nothing” to which I sighed and replied, “Sure, right – we stick to people who deserve what they get, nobody else. End of discussion on that?” Nicole said, “Hey, if that’s the way you want it I will respect that – only the bad guys. We can keep being the ones in the white hats... promise.”
When we returned to the hotel room we obviously too wired to go to sleep. We looked over our clothing and only Nicole had a few drops of blood on her. She complained, “Great, another shirt ruined!” I told her to just take it off and come to bed – we could continue with our new post-kill tradition if she would promise we could also head off to the hot springs the next day – a tradition from high school and one I greatly appreciated. She enthusiastically agreed.
The next day we woke up late when a large truck pulled into the hotel parking lot. We rushed to get checked out before noon. As we grabbed our things I noticed some brochures in the room about hiking in Washington, so I decided to put them in my purse and check them out in the car. When we drove off I turned the radio on to hear if there was any news. Sure enough a report came on about police investigating what appeared to be a gang-related shooting. I joked to Nicole, “It sure is violent here in Seattle” to which she said, “It sure is, maybe it’s good that we are leaving – wouldn’t want to get hurt.”
As we left the city area I started going through the brochures. I had not spent enough time in nature while I was in college – I had not even visited Mt. Rainier. I also had never even heard of a place called Glacier Peak, near the Canadian border. I read some of the descriptions – it looked like a great place to visit since the brochure said it was not a well known destination and was mostly a place experienced outdoors people could really enjoy. I mentioned it to Nicole and she blurted out, “You know what we should do? We should take a little break next week and head up there! Let’s research it when we get home.”
We both realized how tired we still were as we neared Portland. I suggested we head off to the springs the next day instead and Nicole agreed. Later that day as Nicole slept I had a chance to turn on the computer and check the news sites. The Seattle news sites all reported the killings as gang violence. Later that day there were more details about the guys we had shot – it seemed they all had criminal records and my friend Damien had actually been under investigation for a gang murder that had occurred earlier in the year.
On more personal matters I sent Sara several letters prior to our planned date for the nature hike to Glacier Peak. I was so focused on Nicole now that I started signing my letters to her with phrases like “Take care of yourself” and “Have a beautiful day” rather than “love.” I was fairly confident that I was going to phase her out of my life at that point…well, fairly certain. I felt cheated by social norms that most people, including Nicole, had engrained in them that one had to limit long-term relationships to monogamy. I figured it might be nice if I could introduce Sara to Nicole and we could all live together – but I was certain that was not something Nicole would ever tolerate.
As for the trip Nicole and I were planning, we had decided to take a full ten days and go really remote into the mountains – places that even the “experienced outdoors people” probably did not venture into. I printed off maps and read up on what we would find. There were hot springs, Alpine forests, ancient volcanic flows, everything one could hope for! I also contemplated that this would probably be the time period that Nicole and I would further cement our relationship. By this point I had pretty much decided that we would be inseparable for the rest of our lives despite differences of opinions on issues like family. The thought was even beginning to cross my mind that maybe I could consider giving in on that issue if necessary. Regardless of the future though, the date of our trip came closer and closer and I was living in a state of anticipation that could only be likened to a child counting down to Christmas. I was certain this was going to be an unforgettable adventure.
Chapter 10
I was really excited about our excursion to Glacier Peak – one of the most remote areas of Washington. This would truly be an adventure, one in which I was going somewhere I had never been. And we would be gone for as long as we wanted! Well, ten days but still, we could, if we chose to, stay away longer!
I continued to feel that sense of great anticipation, so much so that I woke up an hour before the alarm was set to go off. I slowly got out of bed, trying not to disturb Nicole, and went into the kitchen to start putting the items in our packs that I knew we would need. Nicole hated to organize things like this so I thought I would surprise her and have everything finished before she woke up. It was getting brighter outside, and I knew I didn’t have much time, but I took a moment to look outside and welcome the morning light.
I walked over to the window and opened it up. I guess it didn’t matter to me at the time that I had no top on, I just figured the neighbors would be asleep anyway – besides, if they weren’t what could they do aside from give me a dirty look? However, there were no signs of human life…it was as if the neighbourhood was empty of people. I reached towards the ceiling and stretched my body to its limit and took a deep breath. It was a lovely morning I thought, although I didn’t want to remain there too long and get disturbed by some old lady eventually coming out to walk her dog. I turned and skipped to
the kitchen to finish packing. It felt so ironic that when my mom was live this house felt so drab and devoid of any spirit, but now…now it felt alive and so liberating!
I was almost done packing when I heard the alarm go off. Nicole came into the kitchen soon afterwards and greeted me, “Good morning sweetheart!” I jumped over to her and picked her up in an embrace, “Hey! Today’s the day!” She nodded and said “Yeah!” and I put her down and gave her a kiss. “This is so exciting!” I said as I took her hand and led her to the packs. I raised my voice in pride, “Surprise!” as I showed her what I had accomplished. She thanked me and offered to fix me breakfast if I wanted to go shower and finish getting ready.
I guess I was in a dream state while showering. I was hoping that maybe things had come together the way they were supposed to. Maybe life could be one happy vacation, filled with adventures and experiencing new things. I also thought how good it felt to be wanted by someone who could share in these adventures with me. I was still pushing back goals, family goals, at that time and decided that there would be time to deal with those issues – now was the time to let loose and have fun!
Nicole had fixed pancakes this morning. As we were eating I looked around and considered the moment and started to laugh. “What’s so funny Melanie?” I just responded, “This moment is just too ironic, I mean here we are on a summer morning, eating pancakes and getting ready for a mountain adventure. I mean it’s almost ‘Americana’ to the max, but I guess we don’t fit the stereotype so much!” Nicole seemed amused but looked at me inquisitively with her eyebrows extended upwards, “Who wants to be typical though?” I thought maybe what I had said could have been interpreted wrong, so to avoid causing her anxiety, or getting into some argument, I assured her that what I had meant was in reference to regular people’s impressions of what is normal.
I guess that was good enough since she smiled, and got up from the table and said she would finish getting ready. She approached me from behind and put her arms around me and whispered into my ear, “We are going to have so much fun on this trip – you know, someday when we are old and looking back on our memories, I hope this is something we will cherish.” I detected some insecurity in her mannerisms and, sensing her fear of abandonment, I re-assured her with an ironic twist, “Well, Nicole, I hope you will still want me in 60 years when I might not be getting around like I do now.” She squeezed me tight, “No need to worry about that my love” and at that I said, “That’s good! Now go get your shower so we can get out of here!” I then packed her car while she finished getting ready.
We managed to leave the driveway before Portland morning traffic became too congested. We waited until we crossed the bridge over the Columbia and talk about the route we had planned to take. We hoped to keep up a good pace and enter Seattle before lunchtime traffic got under way. We would then turn off for Everett where Nicole’s cousin lived.
This was going to be total immersion into nature. Nicole’s cousin would let us park the car at his house and then drive us through the rural roads to the trailhead. We would camp near the Kennedy hot springs and then go off on our journey deep into the wilderness. We would hike out later and meet her cousin who would give us a ride back.
It was a beautiful day but it was getting warm. We wondered what the temperature would be at Glacier Peak, but we did bring jackets just in case and a change of clothes. We could bathe in mountain streams and wash our clothing on occasion.
I commented that by the time we came out we might be pretty dirty and hairy. Nicole laughed and made an amusing suggestion, “Melanie, maybe it would be interesting if one of us could try out going “butch” since we both seem to be…well…” I asked, “Feminine looking?” Nicole giggled and replied, “Well, yeah! Oh, I didn’t really want to bring this up but I guess I have to. When we get to my cousin’s house try not to let on that we are more than friends. My family is really conservative on such things.” I said I understood and would not let on. “Thanks Melanie, last thing I want is lecture from my logger cousin.”
I smiled and said at least that was not an issue with me. Nicole nodded and then, since maybe I had touched on an uncomfortable subject, my being without family and all, she joked, “Okay, so back to the original topic, which one of us should cut their hair short and stop shaving?” We both laughed and I said maybe I’d consider it after the hike and added, “So, what look would be best on me, the short businessman haircut or maybe I could get it cut to almost a shave and get some piercings?” Nicole responded, “That actually might be kind of cool, but promise me that if you get any body jewellery you will get something more tasteful than Bernie had – I am not into locks!” We laughed and joked after that, and almost wound up speeding past a motorcycle cop. We settled down a bit and Nicole tried to concentrate better on her driving. After the cop was out of sight Nicole asked, “So you are up for it? You don’t mind a change of appearance?” I sighed and looked in the mirror. I pulled my hair back and replied, “I don’t know. I am really used to my style. I have had it since middle school you know.” She put her hand on my thigh and replied; “So maybe it is time to try something new?” I waited a moment and looked at her, “Okay, I promise to think about it, okay?” She said, “Great!” and she dropped the subject.
One could already feel that it was going to be a hot day. Not being a morning person the initial adrenaline of anticipation had worn off and I dozed for a few minutes. Nicole woke me and when I opened my eyes I noticed a sign indicating the distance to Seattle as well as the exit for Everett. Nicole put her hand on the back of my neck and massaged it, “Well, glad you are awake, I can turn the music back up again.” As I stretched she commented as we entered the Seattle area, “Ah yes, beautiful Seattle…do you suppose there’s been any trouble recently over anything we might have done?” Just then, ironically, a news bulletin came on announcing that there had been another gang-related shooting – possibly linked to retaliation for the killing of four gang members earlier in the month. I shook my head and, with deep sarcasm, said to Nicole, “That’s just awful.” Then we laughed as Nicole turned onto the Everett exit and she responded, “Yeah, like you said the last time, it’s a pretty dangerous place! Good thing we are not going to Seattle today – too violent.”
We pulled off at a little gas station soon after the turn. I thought, “One last chance for real bathrooms before the mountains.” Nicole topped off the gas in the car. I always had a love, hate appreciation for such places. The smell of greasy corn dogs and gas-station hamburgers filled the air. I also looked over the customers, a mixture of elderly travellers, a couple of red necks in fishing shirts and baseball hats, one with a Confederate flag which seemed a popular emblem on many items sold here, what appeared to be some Mexican migrant workers and then us. Nicole and I decided to buy some corn dogs and soft drinks while we were there. As we approached the clerk, a middle aged fat lady missing a front tooth, Nicole asked, “Isn’t it a strange thought that if we get eaten by a bear or cougar on this trip that this will be our last hot meal in civilization?” As I told her we had nothing to fear she smiled and put her hand around my waist. I noticed one of the migrant workers looked at us and then said something in Spanish to his friend, who turned and started staring at us and laughing. I was sure they were fantasizing something disgusting at that moment – however, they would not be so happy if they knew the scene I had in my mind featuring them as the stars.
I was still angry as we got in the car, especially when one of those guys blew us a kiss when he came out. In a way I hoped they would follow us to some remote region and…oh well, Nicole interrupted my exercise in imagination. She again warned, “Okay, remember what I told you earlier…I mean, we aren’t in the city anymore so try to understand that my cousin’s family is…” I interrupted, “I know, real conservative – don’t worry I won’t insist on making out with you in the back seat as he’s driving.” Nicole apologized and looked at me as if to say, “Just try to understand” I then asked, “Can I menti
on anything about serial murder?” and she smiled and said, “He might get into that but maybe that topic should be avoided as well.”
It was ironic I thought, I had always considered myself an outsider, the type of person who didn’t really fit in, but I guess I had always figured someday, when I was older and married I would perhaps merge into the society. Now it seemed that, due to my choices, I would be even more an outsider. I suppose maybe my life had given me strength to be able to live in this relationship – in addition to maintaining my double life in far darker realms. A disturbing thought hit me: Was Nicole right after all? I mean, was it a bad idea to bring children into an alternative family arrangement? Or was it that Nicole realized that children would mean an end to her other enjoyments, which seem to have not only been resurrected, but had taken her on the road to considering random acts of violence? I mean, you can’t raise a child in prison if you are caught and convicted of murder. Maybe I should just re-evaluate my life’s goals in regards to being a mother if Nicole and we were to merge into a permanent life together. Of course the other alternative would be to find a way to do get her to submit to my will. Maybe I could go all the way with a change in my appearance, she might like the idea of letting me be more in charge and then…well, it was a thought.
We soon arrived in Everett. It wasn’t long before we were travelling down a small road that seemed too narrow if any cars came from the opposite direction. She turned down an even narrower gravel road and five minutes later we were parking in front of a house. Before I cold even ask where we were a heavyset guy, not really fat but on the edge, with blonde, curly hair emerged from under a truck and came to the car. Nicole told me that was her cousin. As he wiped his oil-stained hands on a cloth Nicole introduced him to me as Jacob. I was waiting for the middle name, maybe something like “Jacob Leroy” or something like that but it seemed Jacob was his name. He dressed in denim cut offs and had a shirt featuring an elk hunter holding the head of his prey on the front. He was friendly and asked us to wait a few minutes and he would get ready to take us to our destination.
Melanie's Awakening Page 13