Want Me (Protector Series Book 3)

by Melissa Townsend

  Want Me

  Written by Melissa Townsend

  Edited by AJ Field Editing

  Sam

  I followed the realtor through the house as she rambled on about shit I didn’t care about. The house was in a nice neighborhood with three bedrooms and two bathrooms; that’s all I needed to know. Actually, all I needed to know was that it was in Seattle, Washington, and a ten-minute drive from Taylor Long’s apartment. A ten-minute drive from the girl who had consumed my every fucking thought since last October.

  “So, what do you think?” the realtor asked. I think her name was Hailey, but I honestly didn’t remember.

  “I’ll take it.”

  Her eyes widened at my quick decision. “You’re sure?” she asked as she drew her eyebrows in slightly.

  “Positive,” I nodded.

  “Great. I’ll start the paperwork and call you next week.”

  I said goodbye to Hailey, or Holly, or whoever she was, and headed straight to the gym. I’d been going to the same gym every time I visited Seattle over the last eight months. I kept a bag in my truck with a change of clothes and shoes so I’d be able to blow off steam anytime I needed to. I’d been trying to give up my Raider tendencies. Jasper made it look so easy; the fucker worked at a jewelry store, for crying out loud. When the temptation was too much for me to handle, I went to the gym and worked myself into exhaustion.

  See, I’d met Jasper White in juvie when I was fifteen. I’d finally gotten sick of my dad beating on me, so I’d retaliated. Only, I took it out on the wrong person: the quarterback for the football team, Simon Stanten. He was a senior while I had been a scrawny freshman. He stopped me in the parking lot after school one day. I had a black eye from the night before and I was certain my nose was broken, courtesy of my father. I don’t even remember what Simon said to set me off. Hell, maybe he didn’t say anything. Maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And so was his girlfriend, Abby Davison. She tried to pull me off Simon and I clocked her in the nose by mistake. She crumpled to the ground almost instantly, and I took off running. The cops were waiting for me by the time I’d made it home.

  I was in a downward spiral before I met Jasper. We connected immediately. While we were in juvie we looked out for each other. We were brothers. When Jasper got released before me, he hung around and waited for me to turn eighteen. That’s when he met Daniel and Jon. They were the ones who told him about Raiders. They taught him everything he’d ever need to know about stealing, pranking, peeping, and evading the authorities. The day I was released, Jasper started teaching me all things Raider. I still laugh about my reaction the first time he tried to tell me about transferring.

  “Just focus on what you want to see. Don’t think about anything else. Your body will stay here, but you’ll be able to see and do things wherever your mind takes you,” he’d said.

  “Did you start doing drugs without me?” I’d joked.

  But then I did it. I transferred. And we realized I was able to transfer distances further than any other Raider had heard of.

  When Jasper met Macie, she was able to see him while he was transferring. That’s never happened before. Macie and her family are known as Protectors, and I assumed it had something to do with her special attributes of feeling and removing others’ pain. However, Macie’s brother says it’s because they love each other, and I guess that makes sense if you buy into all that shit.

  Jasper definitely loves the shit out of Macie. He’s wanted to be better since the first day he saw her. And that’s exactly what he’s been.

  I assumed it was easier for Jasper to change because he had Macie by his side, constantly encouraging him. I wanted what they had, but the person I wanted it with wasn’t ready for any type of commitment. Hell, she couldn’t even commit to a degree to work toward. Regardless, I was prepared to wait until she was ready...or convince her that she already was.

  ***

  I changed into my spare clothes and made my way across the gym to the treadmills. I smiled at a couple of girls who were sipping on their water bottles as I walked by and ignored their whispers and giggling once I’d passed.

  All the treadmills were empty, and I was relieved I wouldn’t have to worry about someone trying to chat while I worked out. I started out with a slow jog, but when my thoughts drifted to Taylor, my speed increased.

  “You racing someone?”

  I glanced to my left to see Jasper standing beside me. I slowed down before stepping off the back of the treadmill. I used the sleeve of my t-shirt to wipe the sweat from my face.

  “Hey, man, just got lost in my thoughts, I guess.”

  “Want to talk about it?” he offered.

  “No.”

  He nodded before clapping me on the shoulder. “Want to lift heavy shit?” he asked with a smartass smirk on his face.

  I chuckled as I followed him to the free weights.

  ***

  The bed inside my hotel room wasn’t the least bit comfortable. Not even after I’d spent twice the amount of time I normally did in the gym. I lay flat on my back and tried to relax. Just as I thought I was finally getting there, my phone started vibrating from across the room.

  I let out an irritated sigh as I walked over to the table that I’d left it on. I’d gotten a text from Taylor.

  You busy?

  Not really. I was about to go to bed.

  Want to come over?

  I stared at my phone for several seconds. It was late, and I hadn’t heard from her since the night before last. I knew why she wanted me to come over and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t want to, but I would never get her to believe that I wanted more if I kept going along with her newfound booty call antics.

  Not tonight, Tay. I’ll call you tomorrow.

  I didn’t wait for her to reply before shutting my phone down. I dug through the suitcase I’d been living out of for the last two weeks until I found my sleeping pills. I dumped one out into my hand and tossed it into my mouth. After gulping down half a bottle of water, I decided to take another sleeping pill. I knew that I would be tempted to transfer to Taylor’s if I didn’t knock myself out, and there was a chance that she’d invited someone else over after I’d turned her down. If I put myself in that situation, I knew the outcome wouldn’t be good. I’d gotten better at channeling my anger, but no man was that good.

  I went to bed that night even more determined to convince Taylor that we would, in fact, be good together. I just had to find a way to make her believe that this could be more than just the physical shit. That she deserved more than just the physical shit.

  Taylor

  I tossed my phone onto my bed as I rolled my eyes.

  “He doesn’t want to come over,” I said to my chihuahua, Pookah.

  She didn’t even acknowledge the fact that I’d spoken. Instead, she lay with her tail end facing me as she stared at the television that was sitting on my dresser. I stuck my tongue out at her before going to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of wine. I knew I shouldn’t have opened a new bottle when I’d already had two hefty glasses, but I was full of bad decisions these days. I shrugged as I used my electric opener to remove the cork.

  I watched reruns of Grey’s Anatomy while I drank straight from the bottle. Once my head was foggy enough, I picked up my phone and sent a text to my almost-neighbor, Drew. He lived in the same apartment complex as me and had actually been in the unit next door until there were some plumbing issues and they’d moved him across the complex while they made repairs.

  Want to come over?

  Not even a minute after sending the text, my phone started ringing. I jumped at the sound and dropped it on the floor in front of the couch.
I grabbed it just in time.

  “Hello?” I answered, breathless and flustered.

  “Whatcha doing?” Macie asked in a high-pitched voice. I groaned at the sound of it. Macie never called this late at night unless it was to lecture me about how I’d been living my life for the last couple of months.

  “I’m watching Grey’s, Mace. What do you need?”

  “Why don’t you come over here and watch it?” she asked. “J is asleep already and I have ice cream.”

  I glanced down at my phone to see that Drew had sent me a reply. I didn’t have to open it to know that he’d said yes.

  “Can’t tonight. Raincheck?” I closed my eyes and hoped that she would let this go and not ask any questions.

  “Tay…” she said quietly.

  There was a light knock on my door.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I said with a sigh. I didn’t wait on her to respond before I hung up and turned my phone off. After one more long pull from the bottle I’d been nursing, I plastered on a seductive smile and went to answer the door.

  Drew was familiar with the way I did things. That’s why I called on him often. He knew I didn’t like to talk about myself and I didn’t want to listen to him talk about himself. He knew I didn’t want him to stay the night and I wasn’t very fond of kissing on the mouth. He would stay for an hour, at most, and show himself out while I was in the shower. We’d done this so many times over the last three months that speaking wasn’t even necessary.

  I hadn’t always been so detached, and I used to not care if a man gave me a second glance. I’d been a little promiscuous, sure, but I never thought I’d be the way that I am now. Never thought that I’d need a man to make me feel validated or wanted. I knew Macie was worried about me. And to be honest, I was worried about me, too.

  Drew gave me a small smirk as I stepped to the side, allowing him in. He had his shirt off and his belt undone before he’d made it to my bedroom. Pookah jumped off the bed and ran toward the kitchen at the sight of him. Apparently, she also knew how I did things. Like Macie, she wasn’t a fan of the new lifestyle I’d picked up since breaking up with Sam. I didn’t want to think about why I’d been acting the way I was, so I pushed all my thoughts aside as I slipped out of my clothes and into my bed.

  I got in the shower as soon as Drew started to get dressed, eager to wash the scent of him away. I let the hot water beat down on me as I tried to hold back my tears. I hated what I was doing, who I was becoming, but I was too damn weak to do anything about it.

  ***

  I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door. It wasn’t a loud knock, but it was persistent.

  “What do you want?” I groaned sleepily as I rolled out of bed and shuffled toward the front door.

  “I brought breakfast,” Macie said cheerfully. I opened the door and there she stood with her yellow raincoat on, a bag of bagels in one hand, and two coffees in the other.

  “I knew we were best friends for a reason,” I muttered as I grabbed a coffee and headed toward the couch. Macie followed me and took a seat with her legs folded beneath her.

  “How are you?” she asked. I wanted to roll my eyes at her question because we both knew the answer to it, but I refrained.

  “Peachy,” I said dramatically.

  “Did you have someone over last night?”

  “Why do you do this, Mace? I know what you think about me. We don’t have to make it the topic of every conversation.”

  “I don’t think anything about you. I just want you to be happy. I want you to love yourself and to let yourself be loved.” She didn’t meet my eyes as she spoke, and I knew it was because she was on the verge of tears.

  “I almost fell for the man that murdered my boyfriend. I’m too fucked up to be loved,” I deadpanned.

  “I just think you—”

  “This isn’t a conversation I want to have on a Saturday morning. Stop worrying about me and drop it,” I snapped.

  She nodded slowly before getting up and heading toward the door.

  “Love you, Tay,” she whispered before she shut the door behind her.

  “Love you, Mace,” I replied as tears welled in my eyes.

  I finished my coffee and got dressed in a business casual outfit. I had a brunch meeting with my supervisor in an hour. I normally didn’t have to work on weekends because I used to reserve it for studying, before I’d dropped out. My boss had noticed my irritation when she’d told me about the meeting. She smiled her tight-lipped smile and promised it wouldn’t last long before I agreed.

  My wild curls refused to be tamed after not putting product in them the night before. Still, I left my hair down and embraced the red mess of tangles.

  I walked into the small restaurant at half past ten. I immediately saw Megan sitting at a table not far from the hostess’ stand. She gave me a forced smile as I sat in the chair across from her.

  “Good morning, Taylor,” she said softly.

  “Good morning,” I said with a fake smile to match hers.

  “I appreciate you taking the time out of your Saturday to meet with me.”

  “It’s no problem, but I don’t think there are any loan applications for me to review and I haven’t denied anyone of important social status recently, so I’m not sure what this is about.”

  “Well,” she started before she cleared her throat awkwardly. I noticed I was bouncing my knee up and down at an abnormally quick pace and my palms started to get sweaty. I didn’t know why this conversation was making me so nervous.

  “I know about Kane,” she said in a hushed tone. I stiffened in my chair. Kane Simons was an important man when it came to the bank and everyone who worked there. Three weeks ago, he had come in to check up on me while I was reviewing one of his business partners’ loan requests. I knew he was flirting with me, but I never imagined anything would come of it. Until he came back to check up on me the next evening. I was working late, trying to finish up some last minute things. Long story short, we had sex in my office. On my desk. Against my door. In the elevator that led to the parking garage. It was fun. He was great. Then, he sent me roses and he became a little less great. Next, he asked me out to dinner and things became a lot less fun when I said no.

  Kane obviously wasn’t accustomed to being rejected. Therefore, he didn’t take it as well as I’d hoped. He called me several nasty names and threatened to get me fired. After a whole week had passed and nothing had come of his threat, I’d assumed he was bluffing. Yes, I know what they say about people who assume.

  “I can explain,” I started, but stopped when she raised her hand in a motion to shush me.

  “Can you explain the multiple clients that have complained about your unprofessional attitude towards them?”

  “Unprofessional? Who would say that?”

  “Luke Brighton. Aaron Sealy. Clay Marsin.”

  She tilted her head to the left and raised her eyebrows, daring me to deny my extracurricular activities that involved those men.

  I took a deep breath in attempt to calm my nerves before saying anything. “Is this meeting about my love life or about my work performance?” I finally asked.

  “Both,” she said simply. “I’ve pulled your approved loans from the last three months and I’ve also gone through the loans you denied. You denied all three of those clients. I’m assuming you concluded to do so after your little flings went south. Am I wrong?”

  “Well, if you want to call meaningless sex ‘a fling,’ ” I huffed, sarcastically.

  Megan’s jaw dropped at my crude comment, but she was quick to regain her composure. “Taylor, the purpose of this meeting is not only to criticize your work ethic, but also to offer you help if you need it.”

  “I admit that I let my personal feelings cloud my professional judgement with the clients I was intimately involved with and I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again,” I promised her, just wanting this conversation to end.

  “Meaning, you won’t have sexual relations wit
h any of your clients again? Or you will continue to have meaningless sex, but won’t let it get in the way of the approval or denial process?”

  “I, uh…”

  “Taylor, I think you need to hear something that you probably don’t want to hear, and I know that I’ve only known you for a little over a year, but I like to think of us as closer than the typical supervisor and supervisee.”

  “Spit it out, Megan. Tell me what I don’t want to hear so I can be extremely offended and get on with my Saturday,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “I think you’re a sex addict.”

  My mouth fell open and I’m positive I looked like a deer in headlights.

  “Not only that, but I also think you need to get professional help with the issue,” she muttered as she picked at her nail polish under the table. “You’re just so… detached now. It’s not healthy. I’m worried about your future.”

  I closed my mouth and opened it, then closed it again. I had nothing to say. Macie had told me the same thing in a lot more words last month.

  “Since you’ve stopped seeing Sam you’ve been involved with more guys than I can count, but you’re never emotionally invested. Sex to you is like a cigarette to a smoker: you love it while it lasts, but then you throw it away. That isn’t normal, Taylor. I’m not judging you; I’m only trying to help you. However, if you don’t start to make changes immediately, there will no longer be a position for you.”

  I stared at an elderly couple over her shoulder. They were sharing a platter of eggs, bacon, and potatoes. I heard what Megan was saying, but I refused to make eye contact with her. I didn’t respond, and she got up to leave.

  She left cash on the table to cover both of our meals that we wouldn’t be eating, and then she slid a business card in front of me before walking away.

  I glanced down and read the words on the card as best I could through the tears that filled my eyes: the contact information for a counselor at a rehabilitation center called Divided Paths.

  I apologized to the hostess as I walked out with my head down. I pulled the hood of my jacket up to protect me from the light drizzle coming down and walked home as quickly as possible.